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LucyP
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| Posted: Aug 25 2008 at 9:19am | IP Logged
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Yesterday was Sunday and I was planning and intending to go to Mass. Then DS hurt my back - it was very sore, but I could have gone to Mass: I wasn't unable to move or anything. But I decided not to go, using my back as an excuse, so that dh's last day of his holiday would be more restful - given that he has been so wrteched and enjoyed it so little.
But then I obviously got to thinking. It's a mortal sin to miss Mass for no good reason, isn't it? And so now I am not sure what to do.
What do you do when you can't go to confession? It is a bank holiday here and you can only contact the priests in an emergency, and I don't know if they would call it an emergency.
Does anyone know - if I died before confession I would go to hell wouldn't I? Which FEELS like an emergency even though I don't think I am due to die. And it feels like such a stupid "little" sin to go and commit anyway - which I am sure would cheese the priests off even more to be disturbed over something so avoidable and stupid. Not that I imagine they'd be thrilled if I had done something "worse" like murder, but it just feels so stupid to me.
Is there anything one can do as a temporary thing to make sure I wouldn't go to hell? I can imagine other situations where one would commit a mortal sin and not be able to get to confession.
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Shari in NY
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| Posted: Aug 25 2008 at 9:44am | IP Logged
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Dear Lucy,
Make a perfect act of contrition, vow to go to confession when you can and relax a little! You didn't not go to mass fo NO reason you just thought better of your reason later. I think it's a mortal sin to not go to mass if you would rather sleep in or go swimming or whatever. I think a hurt back, even if you are not immobile is okay.
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Lara Sauer
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| Posted: Aug 25 2008 at 9:53am | IP Logged
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Dear Lucy,
To commit a mortal sin, you have to fulfill three requirements:
1.) It must be grave matter. (Intentionally skipping Mass does fill this criteria.)
2.) You have to know that it is grave matter.
3.) You have to knowingly and with full consent of the will choose to do it anyway, regardless of the two prior statements.
With that said...intention has a ton to do with determining our culpability.
If I were in your circumstances, I would examine my conscience to ensure that I fulfilled the requirements for the three prior statements. (It is my understanding the you are a convert, is that correct?) Your grasp of what constitutes mortal vs venial could have had a lot to do with your intention: i.e where you say that it feels like such a "stupid" little sin. This would suggest to me that you truly had not yet grasped the gravity of the action.
After doing a thorough examination of conscience, which would include studying exactly why the Church considers missing Mass a grave sin, I would make a perfect act of contrition, with the intention of following up this personal act of contrition with a sacramental confession as soon as it would reasonably be possible. A person who is unable to get to a priest for sacramental confession who makes a perfect act of contrition will not have that sin held against him. Our Lord is too generous for that.
After you have made a perfect act of contrition, you should follow it up with a firm amendment to change. In the future, judging from what you know now, the state of your illness or pain, charge yourself with making a good prudential judgement in the future and continue to strive to form your conscience in accordance through the abundant resources that our beautiful Mother the Church has provided for us.
Be at peace, for our Lord is ever merciful to the penitent heart.
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You can take the girl out of Wisconsin, but you can't take the Wisconsin out of the girl!
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amyable
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| Posted: Aug 25 2008 at 10:02am | IP Logged
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I had to Google "perfect contrition" 
Here's a website to help you or anyone on that topic.
About an act of perfect contrition
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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TracyQ
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| Posted: Aug 26 2008 at 11:40am | IP Logged
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Thank you, Amy. I didn't realize this was possible, and I'm a revert. I appreciate this tutorial on making a perfect contrition. I have copied and pasted it to refer to, and to memorize the prayer. I'll have to check our Catechism to see what it says exactly too. 
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Blessings and Peace,
Tracy Q.
wife of Marty for 20 years, mom of 3 wonderful children (1 homeschool graduate, 1 12th grader, and a 9th grader),
 homeschooling in 15th year in Buffalo, NY
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Red Cardigan
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| Posted: Aug 27 2008 at 2:34am | IP Logged
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Lucy, did you decide your back hurt enough not to go, and then change your mind?
I ask because sometimes I get a little scrupulous over Sunday Mass attendance. If I have to stay home with a sick child and can't get to a different Mass, for instance (one of those where child wakes up ill Sunday morning) I start to wonder--should I have tried to arrange to go? Was there a Mass somewhere I could have made it to? If necessary should I have called on family to babysit? etc. But caring for a sick child or other sick family member is a legitimate reason to miss Mass.
It's even worse if I'm the one who isn't feeling well. I do the whole, "Well, but do I have a fever? Is it a mild cold? Is this migraine really bad enough to keep me home?" game. I sometimes have to force myself to consider that given the number of elderly people at Mass sometimes it's more charitable to err on the side of caution rather than spread a winter virus to those whose age or state of health may make it much more dangerous to them than it is to me!
Now, I know your sore back wasn't contagious. But if you honestly weren't sure you could handle going, sitting for an hour in one position let alone standing, kneeling, etc., then the sore back might have been a sufficient reason to stay at home. This is where I start to doubt myself, though: was my reason "really" good enough? And the fact that it was more convenient for your dh might have made you doubt your own motives, even if your first, honest assessment of the situation was "Ouch! This hurts! How on earth am I going to sit through Mass like this?"
I want to be clear that I'm not trying to read your mind or anything here, but as someone who has struggled with this on occasion I feel for what you're going through. Only you can know for sure if your sore back was a reason or a mere excuse, but I encourage you to talk about it with the priest when you do get to confession so that in future situations of this kind you'll know how to make the best prudential decision and then be at peace with it.
God bless!
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http://www.redcardigan.blogspot.com
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Did I commit a mortal sin?
