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melanie
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| Posted: Aug 14 2008 at 6:56am | IP Logged
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I'm having a big problem with my 8yo and chores this school year (yes, already). He takes FOREVER to get anything done, and he'll come out and tell me he's done, and I'll go check and he's not, and so he'll go do some more, and this goes on and on with every chore. It will take him 20 minutes to clear the table, an hour to pick up his room, etc. He does have ADHD, but I think this is more laziness than anything because we haven't had this problem, at least not so severely, until the last few weeks. I don't have a problem with letting him spend all day cleaning his room or whatever and letting the loss of freetime be his consequence, but he takes so long that it is affecting *my* day quite a bit. If he takes half an hour to clear the table, I can't finish loading the dishwasher, not to mention it makes us late getting back to our school work. If he takes all evening to straighten his room, he may not be done by bedtime. Not to mention I'm getting really irritated with the time I'm wasting going into his room every 10 minutes and telling him why he isn't done yet. Between his jobs of clearing the table after each meal and straightening his room and one of the bathrooms, I feel like we go in circles with this all day long.  I can't come up with a significant consequence, really. I've already cut out his computer time on weekdays now that school has started, and that's what he cares about more than anything. Any ideas?
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Melanie
homeschooling Maria (13yo), Kain (10yo), Jack (5yo), Tess (2yo), and our newest blessing, Henry Robert, born 4/23!
slightlycrunchycatholic.blogspot.com
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amyable
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| Posted: Aug 14 2008 at 7:10am | IP Logged
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My only thoughts right now are to try to come up with natural consequenses. Don't let HIS problem become your problem - like with the dishes. Say to him, I'm turning on the dishwasher in 10 minutes because I need to get on with my day. Anything not in it, you will be handwashing at the sink." (during his freetime if you need him to get on with school next)
Maybe for the room something like a list to make it manageable - write down: First the clothes are hung up, then do all the legos, then throw out your scrap papers and put books on the shelf (or whatever the issues usually are). Make an agreement with him: Does this look like a 20 minute job to you? Think you can do it? OK, I'll be back then with a trash bag. Anything not picked up I'll assume you don't really care about and I'll finish up for you.(smile)" Then do it. It really isn't cruel. Those things are just THINGS and if he really cared he would take care of it. Don't go up and nag (makes it your problem again - how can he solve it if it's YOUR problem?). Just set a consequence you can live with and follow through with a smile.
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Aug 15 2008 at 2:12am | IP Logged
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I'm not sure what you could do with this idea but.. did his work slow down happen at the same time as cutting out computer time?
I'm wondering if there's some sort of grudge for losing the computer time or some transition difficulty or thinking you might give it back as a reward to get him to do his work or something???
What about having to earn his minutes for the computer time on the weekend? a token for each job done right and on time and then he can give the tokens back for a set number of minutes on the computer on the weekend?
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Aug 15 2008 at 8:01am | IP Logged
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We don't give our kids an allowance but this is a situation where I think it would be helpful if we did! I would just say "If you don't have it done by (stated time) then I will have to finish it and you can pay me out of your allowance".
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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Vanna
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| Posted: Aug 15 2008 at 8:20am | IP Logged
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When my son was around that age and a bit younger we had a system call Boy Bucks. LOL He had his chore list and if everything for the day was complete he received a Boy Buck (a poker chip lol). He could then use these Boy Bucks for things like computer time, Gameboy time, cartoons, etc. He could save up for things like movie rental or McDonalds.
It worked really well. He loved adding up his Boy Bucks and figuring the cost of playing his Gameboy or whatever he used his money on.
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Wife to K  Mommy to B (ds18) and G (ds8)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: chore strife
