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LucyP Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 05 2007
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Posted: Aug 08 2008 at 11:12am | IP Logged
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My sister recently announced her engagement - and I am happy for her. But my own engagement, wedding plans and wedding day were RUINED utterly by my parents and every time I have to hear about how dad cried tears of happiness or how thrilled everyone is, I can only think of the grief and disappointment we went through, and how even now 13 years later our anniversary is a day we find so painful we have finally agreed to designate another day as marriage appreciation day for us.
I thought I'd forgiven and forgotten, but obviously not. I am soooooo biting my lip on every phone call, to my parents, not to say "well, when are you guys planning on starting to wreck her wedding" and other sarcastic things.
I really want to not cast a shadow on her joy, but dh and I are finding it so hard. Please pray for her (her dh-to-be is a mason) and for me to be able to forgive and move on.
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cathhomeschool Board Moderator
Texas Bluebonnets
Joined: Jan 26 2005 Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline Posts: 7303
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Posted: Aug 08 2008 at 11:29am | IP Logged
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You are in my prayers, Lucy. I've been there several times -- thinking that I've healed and completely forgiven very painful things only to realize that I'm not as far along that path as I'd thought. Whenever this happens, my mother always reminds me that God still has something that I can learn from the event. And I pray. And I ask for healing and forgiveness. And I try to step back, accept unemotionally that XYZ happened and, yes, it hurt, but that is life. And I remind myself of the brokenness in myself and in those who hurt me. And I try to figure out what I'm supposed to learn now and how I can grow in my faith. And I try to embrace the cross. I am truly sorry for your pain.
__________________ Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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nissag Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 23 2006 Location: Massachusetts
Online Status: Offline Posts: 1511
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Posted: Aug 08 2008 at 12:25pm | IP Logged
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You've got my prayers Lucy. I'm so sorry that your family made a beautiful day hurtful for you.
Blessings,
__________________ Nissa
Deacon's wife, mother of eleven, farmer, teacher, creator, cook.
At Home With the Gadbois Family
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Sarah M Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 06 2008 Location: Washington
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Posted: Aug 08 2008 at 12:37pm | IP Logged
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Oh Lucy. I'm so sorry. I'm praying for you today.
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mellyrose Forum All-Star
Joined: May 12 2006
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Posted: Aug 08 2008 at 12:49pm | IP Logged
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I'm praying for you. I know how hard it is to let things go -- it seems like I'm doing it every day these days, too! Or actually I'm TRYING to do it!
__________________ Melanie in AZ
Colin (11/00), Nate (05/02), Lydia (04/07)
My Little Patch of Sunshine
Pictures of our Life
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mellyrose Forum All-Star
Joined: May 12 2006
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Posted: Aug 08 2008 at 12:51pm | IP Logged
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I'm praying for you. I know how hard it is to let things go -- it seems like I'm doing it every day these days, too! Or actually I'm TRYING to do it!
__________________ Melanie in AZ
Colin (11/00), Nate (05/02), Lydia (04/07)
My Little Patch of Sunshine
Pictures of our Life
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hylabrook1 Forum Moderator
Joined: July 09 2006
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Posted: Aug 08 2008 at 1:01pm | IP Logged
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You have my prayers, Lucy, along with my understanding of how this kind of thing feels. Very,very hurtful, and then it seems like the people who did the hurting are totally oblivious to the pain you suffer.
Peace,
Nancy
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DominaCaeli Forum All-Star
Joined: April 24 2007
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Posted: Aug 08 2008 at 2:33pm | IP Logged
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I'm praying for you both, Lucy!
__________________ Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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Mackfam Board Moderator
Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006 Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline Posts: 14656
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Posted: Aug 08 2008 at 2:44pm | IP Logged
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Lucy, you have my prayers.
__________________ Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Booksnbabes Forum All-Star
Joined: July 20 2008 Location: N/A
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Posted: Aug 08 2008 at 7:49pm | IP Logged
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Praying for you. It always hurts to have those wounds reopened--and trying so hard NOT to feel torn apart is yet another cross to bear. May you find peace.
__________________ Wife to wonderful DH, mom to SIX beautiful gifts from God!
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folklaur Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: N/A
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Posted: Aug 08 2008 at 8:49pm | IP Logged
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I'm so sorry you are hurting. praying!
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ladycarobe Forum Pro
Joined: Dec 31 2007
Online Status: Offline Posts: 276
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Posted: Aug 09 2008 at 1:05am | IP Logged
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Lucy, I'm praying for you and your husband.
__________________ best wishes,
Ladycarobe.
mom to dd6 , dd4 and dd2 and pregnant.
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aussieannie Forum All-Star
Joined: May 21 2006 Location: Australia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 7251
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Posted: Aug 09 2008 at 4:24am | IP Logged
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My own experience with pain and sorrow that has resulted from other people's lack of love, is that praying for them is the way to complete healing, I'll be praying for you and your dh, Lucy - a big hug from way down under here!
__________________ Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!
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Angie Mc Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005 Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline Posts: 11400
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Posted: Aug 13 2008 at 7:08pm | IP Logged
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I was encouraged many years ago by being told that "forgiving" is a process, not a one time action. My job is to keep on forgiving when some past hurt rears its ugly head. As long as I'm praying to forgive by placing my honest desire into God's hands, (as well as acting appropriately towards those involved) then at least I don't have to grapple with additional guilt about "why haven't I forgiven them already!" (that's the theory, anyway .) Praying for you, dear.
Love,
__________________ Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
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