Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Subject Topic: For New College Freshman - homesickness Post ReplyPost New Topic
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folklaur
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Posted: July 28 2008 at 5:29pm | IP Logged Quote folklaur
Help!

For those Moms who have already had to send their child off into the world of College -

Do you have any advice on how to handle homesickness in new college freshman? Anything we can do before the fact to help prevent it?

Especially with a child who never really liked to be away from home - not even to do sleep overs very often, etc?

thanks....
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MaryM
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Posted: July 29 2008 at 3:07am | IP Logged Quote MaryM
Laura,

My oldest was really a homebody, too. He rarely did overnights away, mostly only for a few nights for summer baseball trips. Though we thought he was pretty set on a particular out of state university, then around application time he started talking more about a local college. That's when I realized that he probably was a bit more apprehensive than I thought. Well anyway, he ended up deciding on the out of state university and seemed excited about it. (A few weeks before leaving he occasionally had some "moments" though like you describe, and I'm sure that it was some nervousness.) We didn't really do anything to prepare and when the time came he really was fine with it. Though he did miss us, he never really got homesick. He was just ready, even though this was really a first for our "homebody."

One thing that helped was cell phones. It is so much different than when I went to college. Long distance was so expensive and sharing a hall phone made it a hassle to get a call through so I didn't get to talk to people back home as much as I would have liked. The thing about a cell phone is that you can talk frequently for just a short time - almost like being there. Someone in the family heard from David at least daily in the first weeks, decreasing as he got more comfortable. Sometimes he sounded a little apprehensive - I just always tried to be upbeat. Though he did miss us some, he never was truly homesick. It wasn't what I had expected - so I guess I'm saying things may be different when they actually happen.

Now me on the other hand - I was really homesick early in my freshman year. Not only was I away form family, but I was away from my boyfriend (now dh). It really took the whole first semester to start feeling less homesick and more like the university was a "new home" away from home. I know that seems to be a common timeframe from lots of people I have talked to - going back after Christmas break the feelings are really different.

When I was feeling homesick I spent a lot of time in front of the Blessed Sacrament in the chapel. That really was a comfort and helped a lot.

Another concrete thing that I think helped my son was that there was a get together locally in our area of students who would be attending the university. He got to meet some of the other freshman. A couple ended up living in his hall and since he already "knew" them a little it helped ease the transition there. Those guys are still who he hangs out with. I don't know if Benedictine has anything like that - if there are enough folks from the area to do that. I know Benedictine does one here - but then there are a large number of students attending from Colorado.

Does she know any other students who will be going there next year? Likely they will soon give her the name and contact info for her roommate and it's nice to try to establish a bit of a relationship before you go. If it would help, I'd love to put her in contact with another incoming freshman. There are 3 students from my son's high school that are going to be freshman at Benedictine in the fall. There is one that I'm sure would be happy to get in contact with your daughter. She is a super sweet girl, very strong in her faith, was homeschooled until high school. She was friends with Mary G.'s daughter - so Mary can vouch for her, too! Just let me know. It really does help to have some "friends" waiting. Which reminds me about Facebook (how could I forget) - each of the colleges has a place for new freshman to get to know each other through the internet. My son used that as a venue for getting to know people ahead of time as well.


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