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SeaStar
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| Posted: July 24 2008 at 7:22am | IP Logged
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My SIL has wanted to come for a visit here for several months, which is great, but she is notoriously hard to pin down with travel plans. After several months of "I'd like to come, I plan to come soon, etc" she called to let us know she'd be coming this weekend with her dh.... only, we won't be here this weekend, as we are taking dd for another round of tests at a hospital two hours away.
So she said they could come later next week. Well, we should be home by Monday/Tuesday, and if it was just my SIL coming, that would be fine, as she is very easy going, loves the kids, etc. But when she comes with her dh, it is all very different. They drive and bring their big boxer who is not good with kids and has to be kept separate from our dog and children. Her dh doesn't seem to particularly enjoy kids (at least not ours), and the whole situation is much more tense and difficult.
Dh last night told her that now is just not a good time to come, as we have our hands full with dd and life here is not so easy right now. Most likely dd will be starting a new medication next week, and we never know how that will go.
I feel terrible that they are not coming, and yet I can't think of anything I want to do less right now than entertain company and juggle a big, aggressive dog. And I am sad- because my SIL would be very nice to have around and she really wants to see the kids. However, she's had months to come before now and has put it off...
Still, is turning away family ever the right thing to do? Sometimes God sends company and it is a blessing. I keep thinking of the Visitation... but, then again, Mary didn't bring a big dog and a reluctant husband with her. But I feel no peace at turning them away. If they do not come here, they will go visit other family and I don't know when we might see them again.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: July 24 2008 at 9:24am | IP Logged
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Your daughter and family come first. The fact that your dh took the lead in telling your sil it's not a good time should give you a degree of peace, and allow you to better focus your attention on your dd's health and your family's needs. May Our Lady bless you with comfort and a greater sense of peace about the situation. You may wish to consider the fact that the Visitation occurred before the Nativity! Mary was better able to visit her cousin Elizabeth because she did not yet have the Child Jesus' needs to care for. Very often, we cannot visit the needs of others outside our immediate family when the needs of our own family must be met or considered first. Trust that you are doing what is best.
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juststartn
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| Posted: July 24 2008 at 9:43am | IP Logged
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I'd say that your DH has taken the lead on this, thanks be to God, and don't give it another thought. If he had dilly-dallied on it, maybe I'd have more concerns, but as is, its done and over with, so why bother? Like you said, she's had MONTHS to come...and now she wants to come bringing more problems and trouble along with her, aside from that which a guest normally brings with them? Uh, no.
And I'd make it darned clear that they need to kennel their dog when they come to visit. That you don't mind seeing THEM, but the dog cannot come.
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
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Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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SeaStar
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| Posted: July 24 2008 at 8:52pm | IP Logged
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Thank you both for your good advice. Even just writing that post helped me to put into focus what I was feeling and why. I was able to call her today and explain more about why now is not a good time- and she agreed. I feel much better about it all.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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Topic: Family Situation- need advice
