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Becky J
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| Posted: July 23 2008 at 5:10pm | IP Logged
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Hi -- This is addressed to anyone out there who doesn't let their kids watch TV at all (not even videos or DVDs) and/or doesn't let their kids play computer or video games . . . how do you manage?
I have a 4-year-old and 2-year-old. They watch some shows on PBS Kids and some videos/DVDs we carefully select (e.g., Dora, Veggie Tales). My 4-year-old likes to play computer games on the websites that correspond to those shows.
I am stricter about limiting the computer games than about limiting the TV. Every day I wake up vowing that I won't let them watch TV but then give in when they ask for it because it seems like I need it to be a babysitter. I don't know how else to get tasks done around the house. I know the solution is to try to include my kids in those tasks, but that only seems to work to a degree.
I watched plenty of TV growing up and don't think I was necessarily worse for wear. (My parents monitored what I watched.) However, I always hear that TV and video games warp kids' attention spans, and I wonder if this accounts for the fact my kids can't sit quietly, particularly at Mass.
I do know one mom whose kids do not watch TV . . . But they stay busy with plenty of expensive activities outside the house (e.g., gym, preschool, dance lessons, tumbling). I imagine the mom gets tasks done when the kids are napping (my older child no longer naps, and I don't feel like I can ask her to play by herself more than an hour in the afternoon).
I'd really love to know how other moms get things done without resorting to TV or the computer as a babysitter.
Thanks!
Becky J
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Sarah M
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| Posted: July 23 2008 at 6:47pm | IP Logged
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Hi Becky. We recently went completely TV and computer free for the kids. It was the best decision we made this summer! My kids don't do activities out of the home like dance lessons and preschool, so I was nervous at first about turning the screens off and keeping them off. The first few days without the TV were the worst. By far. The kids whined all day and kept telling me they were bored. They ran around my ankles, wanting to be entertained. By the second week, they knew they had to enterain themselves, or it was going to be a lousy day. Actually, by about day 5, I noticed them playing better together (better than they ever have), going outside for *much* longer stretches, and creating their own imaginitive games in ways they were not when we watched TV. I never hear "I'm bored" anymore. I do, however, have a messier house. I gave them carte blanche on the art shelves, which can get sticky and messy at times, but I keep reminding myself that a neat-as-a-pin house is not a house where creativity happens. At least not with three children 6-and-under. So they get out the play dough or the glue sticks and tissue paper, the paper dolls, the carpet squares, the watercolors or the hole punch, and just glue and glitter their way through the day. They spend more time looking at picture books and playing on the swingset. It's just really the best thing we've ever done. I got a stomach bug about a week ago, and let the kids veg in front of the TV for 2 days straight while I slept on the couch- the transition back to no TV was rough- just as rough as it was in the beginning, but we're finally there, and as we speak, the kids are romping around the backyard, happy as all get out.
Hope that helps- I encourage you to give it a try, at least for 2 weeks. The first few days might be a bit painful, but in the end, it's worth the plunge!
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DominaCaeli
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| Posted: July 24 2008 at 10:37am | IP Logged
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Well, I have two toddlers: 25 months and 22 months. They don't watch TV at all--actually, the children have *never* watched TV (we are definitely over-protective!  ). We have one small TV in the house that is hooked up to a VCR in our bedroom so that my husband can watch a few videos he has. But it is not hooked up to any sort of broadcasting, and being the only TV in the house, it makes it easy to avoid the temptation to turn it on for the children. Honestly, though, at the point we're at now, there really isn't any temptation. Whenever we happen to see a TV on at a store or something like that, my son looks at it with wide eyes and gets such a glazed look on his face that it makes me sick to my stomach. I know not all kids are like that--my daughter is not. But thinking of the effect TV might have on him specifically has been sufficient motivation to avoid it completely.
We have seen lots of good fruit from this already. Despite having very different temperaments and interests, both of our toddlers have very good attention spans. They love books and will sit quietly for very long stretches of read-aloud time. They behave very well in church. They think of creative ways to play on their own. There are other factors that affect this kind of behavior, of course, but I do think the lack of media in the household is a big one.
Now, I don't have one of the challenges you have: both of my kids still nap for about two hours every afternoon. I spend one hour of this, usually, doing my heavy cleaning, upstairs chores, and some of my dinner prep. (Can your daughter have an hour-long quiet time while your littlest is sleeping--perhaps looking at books in bed?)
But I do get quite a bit done when the kids are up too...
First, I tie my smaller, daily chores to mealtimes, when the kids are occupied with eating. My morning chores are tied to their breakfast time, so while I am doing dishes, starting laundry, and straightening up the downstairs, they're at the table, in my eyesight, drinking their milk (and watching me!). I get a lot done during that 20-minute chunk of time. I have a second chunk of work during their lunchtime--same thing happens. We talk or sing together while I am working, so they are not bored and we have leisurely meals.
I also plan a little bit of table time for them when I have other chores to take care of. They will sit in their high chairs and look at a book or color while I finish prepping for dinner, for example. The table time allows me to keep them in my eyesight so I can finish a task or two without having to run after them or break up a fight. 
And some chores lend themselves to including the kids easily--like folding laundry or making a grocery list. I try to take advantage of those opportunities too.
Anyway, just some thoughts. Good luck!
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Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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Waverley
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| Posted: July 24 2008 at 8:28pm | IP Logged
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I agree completely with Sarah and Celeste.
I have 5 children - 15, 10, 6, 4, and 3 - and we do not watch TV or use the computer (with the exception that very recently my 15 year old is allowed to have some computer time in the evening after the other children have gone to bed). This decision has worked very well for our family and I feel this decision has had lots of positive effects on our family relationships and my children's lives.
I agree with Sarah that it is sometimes more difficult to have a little TV each day as opposed to just having none. I believe that after a while your children will simply stop asking for it.
As for getting things done, at our house every afternoon we have quiet time. Each child is expected to find a quiet activity and leave Mom alone. I will let them play together, but if they tattle or fight they lose the privilege and have to play by themselves. The kids actually call this time "Mama quiet time."
I think you may find after a little while with no screen time, that it may actually get easier to have time to do things. My kids will go into the play room or outside and get lost in imaginary play for a long time.
Good luck and hang in there.
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graciefaith
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| Posted: July 28 2008 at 11:26am | IP Logged
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We've done this off and on. Right now it's much harder as we are with my parents for the summer. But when we're home again, i'm going to much more strict about the tv and computer. It is hard the first few days but like others have said, it gets easier. It gets to the point that they dont even ask about it. Dh is the one who likes to turn the tv on when he's home and his schedule is erratic so he's home during the week. It's harder for him than it is for the kids.
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Blessed wife and mom of 3 girls, Sept. '01, Dec. '02 and Oct. '07
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Nina
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| Posted: July 28 2008 at 4:13pm | IP Logged
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We got rid of the tv before our first was even born.The kids will read,play in the back yard,or do miscl.chores.The girls knit,crochet,or cross stitch.My oldest just started weight training  .There is so much to do that soon you'll wonder how much time is wasted sitting in front of that thing.I love how much time we all spend together talking or just enjoying each other's company.I would never get a tv again.
Oh,did anyone see the bumper sticker that reads,"Set yourself free-trash the Tv"
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doris
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| Posted: July 28 2008 at 4:41pm | IP Logged
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We don't have tv although we do have a video and dvd player. My dc don't use the computer at all. For a while they were allowed a 30-min video every other day and then I dropped that having read a book called 'Set Free Childhood' which has lots of scary info on the effects of tv on children.
Now I've relented a little bit and they have about 30 mins of a video once a week -- I didn't want to get into 'forbidden fruit' sort of territory.
Their behaviour *definitely* makes it worth it not to let them watch more. The aggression levels definitely rise if they watch more. And they play so much more creatively if they don't watch. I would echo what others have said about how to get things done. Another thing that works really well for us is books on tape/CD -- great for some down time, but it also exercises their imagination.
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
Frabjous Days
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Milehimama
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| Posted: July 28 2008 at 6:40pm | IP Logged
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"Centers" or Montessori style activities for toddlers are your friend!
It takes a while for children to learn to entertain themselves, but eventually they will.
I highly recommend Barbara Curtis' book, "Mommy Teach Me!". She's a recent Catholic convert with 12 children, and a Montessori teacher. She blogs here.
Have you seen the Chasing Cheeriosblog? She posts the activities she does with her toddler everyday.
The only way to break yourself of the TV habit is to make it inconvenient - unhook the DVD, store the disks in a different room, cancel the cable.
I usually have "little helpers" but I also try to work in the room that they are working or playing in. I'll unload the dishwasher while they color at the table, etc. It helps that I've set up "play spots" for them in each room.
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Topic: No TV or video games -- how to manage?
