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Vanna
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| Posted: June 24 2008 at 12:28pm | IP Logged
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Does anyone else ever have trouble with this? I don't know if what I want to do is my will or if God is answering my prayers and showing me a way?
I'm trying to decide where to get a part-time job due to financial troubles. It seems like everything I come up with doesn't work out. My husband says that maybe God is showing me NOT to work. I don't want to work but I feel that I have to.
I guess what I'm asking is how can you tell if you are following God's path. I've prayed about this but I never feel really sure of what to do.
I just don't know.
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Theresa
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| Posted: June 24 2008 at 12:42pm | IP Logged
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Keep praying until you have peace.
What is your husbands thought on you working outside the home? Have the two of you prayed together about the matter?
God is our provider and perhaps those doors closing is his way of directing you to realize that all provision comes from Him. If you are feeling stretched, overwhelmed or fearful of the future you need to place your trust in Him. Seek him first and His righteouness and all these things shall be added unto you.
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Theresa
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: June 24 2008 at 12:49pm | IP Logged
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Vanna,
How timely, dear.
Two books that have brought me understanding and peace about God's will in my life are:
Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light
(It was comforting to know that Mother Teresa was never quite sure of God's will either. But she trusted Him and she walked in faith that everything that happened would be His will for her.)
In short, nothing will happen to you outside of His will.
Mother Angelica's Little Book of Life Lessons
Excellent! I have bookmarked the page on God's will because I have to refer to it so often.
So, instead of my input, let me give you advice straight from Mother Angelica:
God's Will in Your Life (page 62)
"People often ask me, 'How do you know whether something is God's Will in your life?' I say, 'Ask me next year, and then we'll know whether it was God's Will.'
"The Lord isn't going to come down and say, 'Now, look sweetie, I want you to do this little thing for m.e' He's not going to do that. He gave you a brain. He gave you a memory, an intellect, a will. Do you realize if you're a Christian, you have Sanctifying Grace in you? The Holy Spirit is in you. Pray. Move forward in His grace, and you will discover His Will for you."
Discerning God's Will for You (page 62-63)
"You judge God's Will as follows:
(1) Does it violate any of the Commandments? Is it against the precepts of the Church?
(2) Will it give God honor and glory?
(3) Will it benefit my family and my spiritual life?
"That is how you can judge what God's will is for you. And sometimes we don't have clarity even with that. I would pray more at that point. I would ask Our Lord to give you light. If somehow along the way we miss it, He will make good out of your mistakes. You can depend on that."
* * * * * *
Praying for you, Vanna.
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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folklaur
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YES!
I feel that way a lot of the time.
I have had people say that they get a "sense of peace" when they have made the right (God's Will) decision.
I have no advice, but keep praying, and know that I will send you my prayers too....
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Sarah M
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| Posted: June 24 2008 at 12:59pm | IP Logged
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How does your dh feel about your working p/t? If it's God's will for you to work, God will infuse both you and your husband with peace and unity on the issue.
I'll be praying as you discern!
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Vanna
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| Posted: June 24 2008 at 1:28pm | IP Logged
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My husband isn't thrilled about it. He usually feels things will be taken care of...a don't worry be happy kind of person. I have a tendency to worry. I feel afraid of scarcity. After I turned 30 (I'm now 31, my husband is 39). I started feeling this panicky feeling creeping up on me whenever I thought about our finances. We can just barely pay the bills (my husband looks at that as "our bills ARE paid". When things break (and they do break), we can't fix them. Grocery money is always tight. We have debt. No savings, no retirement. See...my chest is tightening up just typing this.
My husband see that our situation gets better every year. I feel we should be MUCH better off than we are. I try and try to trust that God will provide...but then I feel, maybe He is telling me to get a job since things are so tight. I just can't tell, I just can't be sure. I know making a decision from a place of fear and panic is NOT the way to go. I just can't seem to shake this feeling.
There have been a few moments in my life where I just KNEW what God was telling me to do...like quitting my job after the baby was born. I could feel it with every fiber of my soul that I was supposed to be home with my kids. Anytime I considered any other option, I felt sick inside. I feel sick inside when I think about working. I truly do. I try to imagine myself doing this job or that job and I feel like vomiting. Truly. BUT if the answer isn't me getting a job, what is the answer? I'm frightened.
I've been broke. I had a child at 18 with no one by my side. I always imagined that at 30, I wouldn't have to be so afraid. I think it hurts my husband when I talk about my fears (though he does understand that my past brings about some of this). He feels that I should trust in him to provide for our family. I try. I really do.
I guess I just have trust issues. I will keep praying. Thank you for your prayers. They are very appreciated.
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Martha
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only everytime I want something He doesn't.
so yeah all the time. 
We have a half-serious prayer for this:
Lord, I want what you want.
I trust you to only want what is best for me.
Lord, this would be easier if you could want what I want so that I can have what you want for me. 
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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stefoodie
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| Posted: June 24 2008 at 1:56pm | IP Logged
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In 18 + years of marriage, God has always led us to where He wanted us to go. We might not have always known His will, but ALWAYS, in retrospect, He has never let us down. Knowing this, we have been able to grow in faith and trust, that even in the moments of the unknown, He is there, holding us up, and that His plans are always SO MUCH BETTER than we could ever imagine.
When praying, we often just lay all of our concerns at His feet. He knows our hearts. He knows what we need. We ask Him for what we would like to happen, but we always end our prayer with "Not my will, but Your will be done." And that usually gives us peace, knowing that He will NOT allow to happen what will ultimately be detrimental for us or our family; and that even if/when bad things happen, that He can make something good out of that, because He is God and He is all-powerful.
Perhaps you could look back in your life and remember specific instances when this has happened for you. This will help cement your faith. And then just turn it all over to Him and believe that if things are not meant to happen, THEY WON'T.
i.e., maybe you could set a deadline for coming up with a decision. pray and pray and pray, read the Bible. after prayer, if you still don't know for sure what you are being called to do, have DH decide for you and leave it at that. (He's responsible for leading you anyway :) ) If you both can't decide, I'd apply to a few places and see how things pan out. If it's not for you things will happen where you can see it more clearly, i.e., you may get turned down, or the demands on your time may be too high that it will be impossible to fulfill, or your child begs you to not work, etc.
My .02. and many prayers for you.
ps just FYI, i kinda know where you are -- we still have debt from bad mistakes we made early on in our marriage, and we don't have nearly enough savings for college or retirement as everyone says we should. but we are relatively healthy, are able to eat 3x a day and see to all of our BASIC needs. God is good!!
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mom to five
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Nina
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Vanna,I think that God answered your prayers through your husband.You wrote that he really does not want you to get a job.Listen to that.
If you are still uneasy about the finances,pray for peace.Also,there are lots of places on the web that could provide ideas and encouragement.
Try ladiesagainstfemenism.com to start.
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Roma
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| Posted: June 24 2008 at 9:58pm | IP Logged
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Martha wrote:
only everytime I want something He doesn't.
so yeah all the time.
We have a half-serious prayer for this:
Lord, I want what you want.
I trust you to only want what is best for me.
Lord, this would be easier if you could want what I want so that I can have what you want for me. |
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Martha that is a gem.
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folklaur
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| Posted: June 24 2008 at 10:10pm | IP Logged
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Martha wrote:
Lord, this would be easier if you could want what I want so that I can have what you want for me. |
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SallyT
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| Posted: June 24 2008 at 10:45pm | IP Logged
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What Nina says makes lots of sense. Trusting your husband and his authority in this is one way of putting your trust in God and His authority. There really is something to having right order in marriage and home -- I'm very headstrong (and also the great worrier in my marriage), and have spent the last 18 years mostly battling against learning this basic but significant truth.
We have had some fairly major financial crises in our marriage and have only recently begun to emerge from those woods -- we hope for good, but of course nothing in this life is certain! I can say that my own worst enemy during our difficult times was that voice which told me that I "should" have more than I did, in one way or another. And my greatest friend and ally, in earthly terms, was my husband, even though at times I really resented his "God will take care of us" mentality. I thought he ought to be worrying as much as I did, and I took his not appearing to worry as a sign of irresponsibility, which led me to mistrust him and his ability to lead our family -- never mind that I'd also been indoctrinated with a heavy dose of grad-school feminism which had me convinced that I shouldn't be letting him lead our family, which was, um, conflict-making, to put it mildly.
I had to learn to trust his decisionmaking and his judgment, and to listen when he said, "Don't worry." (of course, I already knew that he was generally a good and trustworthy person -- if he hadn't been, that would have been another story). In many ways, like lots of people, we've wandered in the financial wilderness: he went back to do a Ph.d overseas at 37, and that whole experience, wonderful as it was, drained our finances and did not, until five years after he'd finished, produce a fulltime job. At times it was a little hard to believe him (or God's promises) when he said not to worry. And it was hard not to look around at people we knew, in their late 30s/early 40s like us (we're now 43 and 46), and feel like real losers by comparison. The solution to that was to will ourselves not to make comparisons between our life and other people's . . . Now, in middle age, we're finally catching up, I guess -- and God HAS provided for us in some fairly miraculous ways. In His time, that is.
Anyway, I didn't mean to go on about me. But I do think it's important to trust your husband and let him -- weird as it sounds -- bear the burden of worry. If he's not worried, then you don't worry. If he doesn't think you need to work, then you don't need to work. And for what it's worth, whenever we've had these kinds of conversations during our own times of crisis, when we've calculated everything we've generally realized that in one way or another it would end up costing us more for me to work, even part-time, outside our home, than it did for me not to work at all.
I do, in all honesty, do some freelance writing at home, for which I'm paid quite well when I do it -- but I don't take on many projects because it's frankly really disruptive to my household when I'm working like that, and it involves a lot of pizza-eating, which can get expensive. Even reasonably good and lucrative work has very real costs, and you have to consider how those measure up against real and perceived needs.
And I love Martha's prayer. Sounds familiar somehow.
Praying for you with all my heart,
Sally
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Vanna
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| Posted: June 30 2008 at 8:34am | IP Logged
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Thank you all so much. I'm sorry that I didn't get to reply earlier...computer troubles. Sigh.
I want to comment on a few things Sally wrote. After reading your comments, I realized that part of the problem IS that I don't totally trust that my husband will always take care of me. It's not because he has EVER proved himself to be untrustworthy, far from it, I think it must go back to my mom and dad. My mom tells me everytime we talk that I should really get some sort of a job, that a woman should never be indebted to a man, etc etc etc etc.
Also, I am TERRIBLE about comparisons. I need to stop that. We live in a very modest house that needs tons of work. I actually like my house, I just wish we could give it the TLC it deserves. But then just last week, my friend from high school was telling me about her $400,000 house (which is a HUGE house in our area) and new furniture, new car, new husband, new everything...and it's not that I want that life, because I don't...it's just hard not to make those comparisons in my head.
I think everyone is right, that this is a prayer issue. I'm going to keep praying that God gives me peace about this. Thank you everyone.
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Wife to K  Mommy to B (ds18) and G (ds8)
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SallyT
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I really do sympathize. My mother has always said many of the same things -- that it's a sign of weakness in a woman to "need a man to take care of her," or that she's just not interesting if she doesn't have "something more" to do. I know how hard it is to close your ears to that kind of stuff.
It's almost more frustrating to like your house, but not be able to do the projects you want to make it what you know it can be! I waited two years to buy paint to improve our current house -- my great consolation during that time was that at least I could rip things out for free (old carpet, old linoleum, old kitchen cabinet doors -- we went for the open shelving look and made our dishes into decor). Maybe you don't have anything to rip out, but there are ways to make lemons of your decorating lemonade until you have the funds to make the changes you want. That can at least lift your spirits and lessen that very real temptation to look at what everyone else is doing, seemingly with a wave of a magic wand. Often the things other people have and do come at a great cost: more debt, for a start. And you always have to ask yourself whether you really want the whole life that comes with that great house. I find that that question helps nip my own very strong impulse towards envy somewhat in the bud.
Praying for you right now,
Sally
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: God's will/My will??
