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MommyD
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| Posted: June 16 2008 at 4:54pm | IP Logged
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It appears our baby didn't develop past 4 weeks. My doctor has given me the option of waiting or scheduling a D&C. Any opinions? I'm inclined to wait, but I don't know how long I can handle that. A D&C is tricky due to child care issues; I wouldn't want them at the hospital but DH would need to drop me off and pick me up, we have no other family here and I don't feel like telling anyone. I hate the idea of a D&C. Are they as bad as I imagine?
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jdostalik
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| Posted: June 16 2008 at 5:02pm | IP Logged
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I am so sorry for your loss. I have had two D&C's. As I said in a previous thread, my babies don't like to leave my womb--too cozy.  I played the waiting game with my last miscarriage a few years ago but I started to get very depressed after a week and elected to go in for the D&C. I was showing no signs of preparing to miscarry and my mental state couldn't handle waiting any more. It was all so sad.
My experience was not painful and my recovery was quick. I did have my dh there with me and I don't know if I could have gone through it alone.
Prayers for you as you discern. You are in my prayers....
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Jennifer in TX
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Let the Little Ones Come
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: June 16 2008 at 5:04pm | IP Logged
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I don't know what you imagine a D&C to be like, but I've had several and none was a bad experience. They put you to sleep, you wake up half an hour later, everything is over with. For the next couple of days you might have some mild cramping and some light bleeding, like a period but lighter. That's it. The ones I've had after miscarriage were pretty emotionally draining, what with all the hormonal shifts and sadness about the loss of the baby. I don't know, though, whether I could handle the waiting for everything to be over with. I was absolutely certain my babies had died and, actually, the OB said afterwards that the placenta was adhering to the uterine walls pretty strongly, so that he thought that even if I had waited I would have needed a D&C anyway. Of course, he couldn't have known that in advance. Maybe it's just me, but I was more at peace knowing everything was cleared up than I would have been worrying when, how, how bad, etc. things might go if I let them take their own course.
This is kind of a tough and personal decision to make. I will pray for you. I'm sorry for your loss.
Peace,
Nancy
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Cheryl
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| Posted: June 16 2008 at 6:04pm | IP Logged
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I am sorry for your loss also. I had a miscarriage last August that I waited about 4 weeks for. The waiting was extremely hard for me emotionally. But I think I was grieving the loss of the baby through that time and when it finally happened I felt relief. I agree with Nancy that it's a tough decision and I will keep you in my prayers. I think any way that it happens is going to be painful. I prayed and talked with my dh and we chose the way that we felt was right for us. I had anxiety off and on during the waiting, but in the end I really felt like God took care of me.
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Cheryl
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KackyK
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This is a hard one and I'm sorry for your loss. I've had a total of 4 miscarriages and all totally different.
First one was "textbook" if that is possible, loss at 6 weeks, then was able to naturally have miscarriage with not too much bleeding and recovery was quick (at least physically).
The next one I had no clue until I went in for the 11 week appointment. They actually thought it was a molar pregnancy (I don't totally understand what that is, but it could be a precursor to cancer). Because of this, they did a D&C because they needed to do some testing. Praise be to God it was not a molar. I had to do what you have described though...I didn't have anyone to watch my kids because mainly we had never told anyone I was pregnant and really didn't want to tell them and tell them about a miscarriage at the same time. Anyways, my dh did drop me off at the door and he was called to come pick me up when I was in the recovery room. This was a typical D&C, I recovered (again, physically) very quickly.
The third one I decided to wait. I waited for over 3 weeks. I had only spotty bleeding during those 3 weeks. Then all of a sudden I totally hemorrhaged (sp?)...awful. I went to the ER, where they determined I needed an emergency D&C. So that wasn't any fun...I ended up really anemic.
The last one, I couldn't bear to wait with what had happened before...it went okay initially. But I didn't have the tapered off bleeding afterwards. For two weeks I bled and then passed a huge clot  scared me to death, thought it was the start of another hemorrhage...but it wasn't. It tapered off after that.
So the moral of the story...this can be npredictable. And you really need to go with what you feel brings you peace. Otherwise there is a lot of second-guessing. Only through prayers will you be able to discern what you believe is God's will for you, and like I said, it's what brings you peace. At the time of my third miscarriage, I was being pushed to have a D&C, but then I changed to waiting and I felt better about it. It ended not well...but you know, I was meant to go through all that for some reason.
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KackyK
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LLMom
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I have had 5 miscarriages and only 1 of those was a d & c. I was NOT put to sleep so I don't know if that is standard practice. (maybe I wasn't because it was an emergency and not planned) It was fairly painful (although they did give me some type of local) and the noise was horrible. I covered my ears and cried. I don't mean to frighten you, but I wished I had known what it was going to be like so I could have been prepared a bit. Not that you can very much but still... I know it is so hard to wait to miscarry too. Praying for you and your decision.
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Roma
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| Posted: June 16 2008 at 8:31pm | IP Logged
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i did not have a D and C, but i didn't have to wait either. i can't imagine going though waiting on top of that. i started bleeding on a Friday and continued bleeding throughout the weekend. i started labor on Sunday midday and labored for 6 hours (the last 3 in the tub) and passed the baby in the sac and the placenta (it came out whole). I am not in any way criticizing choosing a D and C but I do want to point out that with any procedure there are risks and with a D and C there are risks to the cervix and uterus. i will pray for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wendy
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| Posted: June 17 2008 at 11:09am | IP Logged
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I'm sorry for your loss.
I have had one miscarriage, three days before I was supposed to be matron of honor in our best friends' wedding. I tried to wait it out, but passed out in my friend's living room after a 3-hour car trip. I ended up in the emergency room, where the very kind OB/GYN on call said if she knew I could go lay on my own couch for a few weeks, she would let me wait, but since I was in a strange town with a wedding to take part in, she recommended the D&C. The D&C itself was a breeze, but I was a wreck emotionally. I barely remember the wedding...
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Carole N.
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| Posted: June 17 2008 at 1:56pm | IP Logged
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I am so sorry for your loss. I lost one baby, and the doctor pretty much gave me no choice ... I had the D&C the very next day. I suspose that like many things in my life, I did not know any better and thought that was what you were susposed to do.
It does not take long. Only 30 minutes and then a brief period in recovery. I did have some cramping when I first came to, but none after that. We tried to keep preoccupied with other events going on in our life at the time. I really mourned the baby at the birth time which would have been at Christmas.
I hope this helps some. 
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Mackfam
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I'll be praying for you as you mourn. If you haven't had a chance, you might allow yourself some time to meditate in Our Mother's Garden of Sorrows. Many prayers for you as you heal physically and spiritually.
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sarahb
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| Posted: June 18 2008 at 11:42am | IP Logged
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Im sorry for your loss.
If you decide to have a d&c you can ask about medication to make you less aware. LLmom, that was a sad story. Im sorry you suffered thru that.
I believe I was given versed which is a relaxing drug which also makes you forget. It was not a bad experience. I had to have the d&c because of a hemorrhage. While the procedure is not without risk, natural m/c is also not without risk. I had to have a major transfusion because I chose to wait and then hemorrhaged.
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MommyD
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It is scheduled for Friday morning. I have to be there at 5:30 so DH is staying home with the kids and then will pick me up when I'm out of recovery. My doctor isn't happy with me because she thinks he needs to be in the building but that just won't work. I'll be asleep during the procedure. Please pray for me; I don't let go of control easily (or at all most times) so this is really stressful for me.
Melissa
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hylabrook1
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Melissa -
Praying for you, especially on Friday morning.
 . I am so sorry for your loss.
Peace,
Nancy
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Roma
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| Posted: June 18 2008 at 4:46pm | IP Logged
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Quote:
| While the procedure is not without risk, natural m/c is also not without risk. I had to have a major transfusion because I chose to wait and then hemorrhaged. |
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that is a very good point. anyone that chooses to wait it out should be in contact with their care provider. i had my last baby at a birth center and went home 4 hours later, so I was very familiar with how often to monitor my vitals, how to monitor my blood loss, and how to distinguish between regular blood loss and scary blood loss. We would have transferred at the first sign of trouble. I was in contact with my midwife through it all, which was very important.
to the OP, i will pray for you on Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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MommyD
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| Posted: June 20 2008 at 12:59pm | IP Logged
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Thank you for all of the prayers; they worked wonders! The procedure went really well and I feel 90% normal right now, no pain at all just tired from the anethstesia (sp). My nurse had had 4 miscarriages so she was really supportive. When my kids are grown, I think I want to be a nurse. They can really make such a difference.
Melissa
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Caroline
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I'm so glad to hear that it went well. Prayers for you.
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Devoted Wife to  and Mama to three beautiful boys and another little boy due in September, and two beautiful souls in heaven
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Roma
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| Posted: June 21 2008 at 5:28am | IP Logged
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thanks for the update and glad it went well
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cathhomeschool
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Melissa, I am so thankful that it went well. Take it easy, though, if you can. My D&C went so well that I thought I could go shopping with the family a couple of days later. I ended up on the floor at Hobby Lobby, blacking out.  It was not exactly the distraction that we'd hoped for.
Praying for you as you grieve and recover. Praying for your family as well. I am sorry for your loss!
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Miscarriage and D&C
