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mavmama
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| Posted: May 20 2008 at 9:48pm | IP Logged
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We are looking at a new parish since we just moved. So today I was visiting with the DRE and asking about requirements for First Holy Communion and the like. What about home schoolers and would we be required to attend religious ed weekly? No to that, but yes to attending the Sacramental prep sessions. She would review our RE curriculum and give suggestions as to what we are missing. So far, so good. When I told here we are planning to go back to Iowa for the girls' FHC, because our old priest is retiring and really wants to celebrate FHC with the girls (which we are thrilled to be able to do) she said "Well, do you have permission from your parish priest where you are registerd now? The sacraments belong to the parish and you must have permission to recieve them anywhere else." (italics mine)
What is this? I have never heard of such a thing, which brings me to the other part of what I don't get: In our old parish (in Iowa) there weren't all these issues about home schoolers recieving sacraments or how they did it. The parish was very happy to help the parents and the priest would judge the child's readiness by talking with the child and the parents. Here, it is all about following the "rules" and forget what the parents have to say about it.
This issue is causing me so much worry and many sleepless nights. I do not understand why a church would fight us on this and make our children wait because we haven't jumped through their hoops. Ask my kids questions-see if they know what they need to know, for goodness sake! They see us a daily mass and every weekend; it's not like we aren't there and are asking for something out of the blue.
Obviously this is a hot button for me. We have been so sad about the whole "new parish" issue for the last 18 months and this ceratinly isn't helping. We were very involved in our Iowa parish and here it seems that the main requirment for being part of a parish is all about politics. Can someone please explain the DRE's comments? I don't want to fight the system, but I truly don't understand the reasons why it is so different here.
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Liz
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MaryatHome
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| Posted: May 21 2008 at 7:10am | IP Logged
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The Sacraments belong to us through the Church. And in Her wisdom, the Church has placed us under the guidance of Bishops, who are charged by the Church with the care of our souls. Some of the administrative tasks are delegated to the parish priest.
It is the responsibility of the pastor to make sure that one is truly prepared (so much as one can make that determination) and understanding of the importance of life in God as experienced in the Sacraments, especially that of the Eucharist. Remember that whoever receives the Body and Blood of the Lord without discernment receives condemnation. The priest takes on the joyful burden of YOUR soul.
The issue of 'permission' is one of obedience. God has placed you within a particular diocese, and made His presbyters and pastors to be your shepherds here on Earth. If they are to fulfill their responsibilities, they must know about their parishoners. Quite honestly, I don't have a problem with that requirement, though it seems as if the one phrase has set you for a loop.
Your parish maintains records of the Sacraments, and as members of that parish, have the responsibility of knowing who is receiving them. Not every time we go to Mass, of course, but of which souls are under their care. Later in life, those records may be needed--at a wedding, or profession of vows.
That's great that you were happy at your old parish, and that they took the time for each individual. Perhaps in your new parish, the priest has responsibilities of which you are not aware, say, in a chancery office or the like. Certainly it would be nice if we all had the individual presence of the priest available to us, but it is just not possible in some situations. Understanding that priests, bishops, and dioceses have differing approaches might go a long way to easing your mind.
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mavmama
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| Posted: May 21 2008 at 9:33am | IP Logged
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MaryatHome wrote:
Your parish maintains records of the Sacraments, and as members of that parish, have the responsibility of knowing who is receiving them. Not every time we go to Mass, of course, but of which souls are under their care. Later in life, those records may be needed--at a wedding, or profession of vows.
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Thank you, Maryathome, for the explanation. Here is one statement from the Diocesan website on regulations for sacraments that I wonder about.
"The recording of names of those children who have recieved First Eucharist has been abrogated. However, a copy of each child's baptismal certificate as proof of Catholic baptism must be produced prior to sacramental reception."
Of course, our old parish has the baptismal record--it was there that they were baptised. So they have the records and the priest there has interviewed the girls and will write a letter to our present priest regarding their readiness. It just doesn't set well with me, or my husband.
I typed and deleted and typed and deleted several times, so this is all I will say aobut it.
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Liz
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Lisbet
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| Posted: May 21 2008 at 9:38am | IP Logged
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Liz, Your child can receive his FHC at any parish, from any priest, whenever you and your husband deem him ready (and he has been to confession!). We've never even had to provide a copy of the baptismal certificate...
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chicken lady
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| Posted: May 21 2008 at 9:54am | IP Logged
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Lisa is right, hang in there Liz, and follow your gut 
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Maddie
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| Posted: May 21 2008 at 10:35am | IP Logged
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Excellent advice and info regarding the sacraments
just thought I'd pass it on. Is there another parish you could travel to? All of my Catholic life (14 years now) we have had to travel at LEAST an hour to go to a parish where we didn't have to jump through hoops for the sacraments or correct Father's homilies after Mass so the children weren't scandalized. We've had some pretty bad ones...
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momwats8
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| Posted: May 21 2008 at 11:20am | IP Logged
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actually our priest from here in Florida also had to give permission to our priest in Michigan to give our ds First Holy Communion. It was not a big deal. I talked to him and he wrote a letter . Our former parish priest from Michigan was actually the one to inform us he could not do the sacrament without our priests permission.
I hope that helps so you do not feel targeted - it is a normal practice and I believe how your parish can keep track of your child's sacraments.
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Mary Chris
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| Posted: May 21 2008 at 11:23am | IP Logged
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Liz,
I think you should go in and talk to your priest directly. Explain your situation to him. At our parish, we have to go through the formal classes for sacraments. I could probably fight it, but I decided to just let that one go and teach the classes. That being said, our priest was fine with my youngest receiving FHC before my dh deployed. Ds still went through the rest of the class, we just had him make FHC at daily mass. When we were at a different parish we wanted our middle ds baptizied in San Diego by our priest from Hawaii, we just got a letter and it was fine.
DRE's have a huge job. I know from being a catechist how frustrating it is to have children in your class that never attend mass. I KNOW this is NOT the case with you and it really stinks that we have to be held to the same standards as those who just drop off at class for sacraments and are never to be seen again. I feel so bad for those poor children who really do want to learn our faith.
Try talking to the priest. Unfortunately some priests are more willingly to help than others. My dh and I were married by a navy chaplain, a Southern Baptist, long story. As soon as we moved to our first duty station I tried talking to the priest there about having our marriage blessed. He kinda blew me off, or maybe I was asking him at the wrong time, but he never followed up with me. The next preist that came along was totally the opposite and said he would have set a date and time right away for us to get that taken care of. As it turned out we had one of my college professors bless our marriage, the priest at Chaminade Univ of Honolulu. It was LOVELY, the ceremony, and the setting, Rose Chapel overlooking Diamond Head. Anyway, long story short, talk to the priest, he should be willing to work with you. Pray for the DRE, they really do have tough jobs.
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mavmama
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| Posted: May 21 2008 at 8:41pm | IP Logged
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Thank you , thank you, thank you for your responses. I feel so much better having heard it from you. We still don't know what we will do, but we will certainly be praying about it, and will let you know when we decide.
Again, thank you. My heart is much more settled now.
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Liz
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: DRE's comment & other things I don't get-
