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mama251ders
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| Posted: May 19 2008 at 3:39pm | IP Logged
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I really need some words of encouragement, here. This has been a really bad year for me, all starting with one of our pine trees falling in January and really going down hill from there. I am normally not a pessimist at all, but I am really down right now. Our exchange student decided that she didn't like our rules or our children and left us, my dad had to have open heart surgery (he is fine now, but it was still a big ordeal), my aunt is dying of cancer, one of my best friends flipped out about something my daughter did and no longer wants to friends, our school work has been spotty at best and I think I am ruining my kids brains, a council of cooperative preschools that I run has decided to disband and basically accused me of mismanaging funds (which I didn't) and the government took part of our stimulus check because of a tax mistake from 2 years ago! There is more, but those are the biggies.
Normally, when things go bad, I have a wonderful group of ladies to talk to at our playgroup, but since this friend and I have been on the outs, I no longer have that safe place, as she is there. I feel very isolated and stranded right now and I am just about prayed out. I have taken the edict to "pray without ceasing" to a new level!
So, I have come here to vent and cry a little. I just don't know what to door how to move forward. My heart is so heavy and I hate it! Thanks for letting me vent.
Blessings,
Betsie
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Wife to Oliver
Mama to 5 Wonders
Benny, Braidon, Olivia, Anna and Saragh
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LLMom
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| Posted: May 19 2008 at 3:51pm | IP Logged
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Oh, Betsie,
I am so sorry you are struggling right now. And it is so hard not to have anyone to talk to about it. God is sending you (and your family) real life lessons right now and I don't think you need to worry about ruining your kids brains. Let the schooling go now and reconnect with your children. They need you, and some other family members need you. You can show your children our faith in action. (the corporal works of mercy) Snuggle, read to them, sleep in, eat well, all of those things to get yourself back on track.
As far as the friendship, maybe time could heal the wound? If not, maybe God has another plan. Lean on Him. It's so hard when everything seems to be falling down around you. I will pray for you.
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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: May 19 2008 at 4:39pm | IP Logged
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Betsie,
Hang in there! "This too shall pass comes to mind." When things go badly, offer it up and ask the Lord to receive all the graces you can from the suffering. (Maybe even a little of that to be used RIGHT NOW, Lord.  Take a little bit of time to reprioritize your life. What really matters. Friends come and go, although I know it is hard. Maybe try to rectify whatever happened, or reach out to another set of moms. (What IS it with homeschool mom's anyway. I have seen some really crazy spectacles at play groups in the past. (I have been spared so far. I just stopped attending due to fear of something going poorly between the kids, and then the moms have to get their hackels up! ) Anyway, homeschooling can be a lonely and isolating journey. My SIL just came over and for some reason, I proceeded to tell her that I "was out of wet wipes". I am not able to get out to the store with the whole crew alone, so my point to her was, "I might try to brave doing that later." But, it came out all weird and then I felt stupid. Stuff like that, since I am at home with kids all day, happens all the time.  Then, I feel sort of disconnected from the "real world" that is whirling by without me. We can also allow ourselves to get into a spiral of stinkin' thinkin' as my husband so eloquently puts it. If you think in a negative way, negative emotions and thoughts will follow. We can train our minds to think we are losers!!! So, start thinking postive thoughts, thankful thoughts and take proactive steps towards change. Don't stay stagnant. "Keep moving forward!" (Taken from some cartoon which I now forget.  Also, my husband always tells me that I don't HAVE to hang out with people that just happen to homeschool. I can CHOOSE who I want to hang around. If you can't be around those moms due to one mom, then have a get together with just a mom or two instead of the whole group. You could even gently mention that there was an incident, if they know about it already, and tell them that you are embarrased by it, and in no way want it to affect the group or their friendship, or even the friendship of the woman involved, but that it is sort of an awkard situation that you don't really know what to do with. Maybe honestly bringing it to the forefront would bring some sort of resolution?? Just a thought, but a difficult thing to do obviously. 
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Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
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stefoodie
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I am praying for you, Betsie. And I echo Lisa's thoughts re the schooling. You are not ruining their brains (I can relate to this train of thought as I've been there many times in recent weeks, it helps to know I'm not alone :) )!
We will keep your aunt in prayer, and for healing of your friendship, and your other intentions.
Sending lots of cyber hugs your way.
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stef
mom to five
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MarilynW
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| Posted: May 19 2008 at 5:01pm | IP Logged
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Dear Betsie
I am praying for you and all your intentions. I have not got any advice right now - just hugs and echo the "this too shall pass" from above
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Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
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Paula in MN
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Betsie, I've had a trying year as well. It hasn't gotten better, or easier. I'm just coping - with the help of the members of THIS FORUM. We may not be able to physically hug each other, but we are all here for each other. 
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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guitarnan
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| Posted: May 19 2008 at 6:24pm | IP Logged
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Betsie,
I think a lot of us can relate to your "trying year" feelings. I'm so sorry that things aren't going well right now. I'm quite sure you aren't ruining your kids' brains - even if you are just hitting the basics in your homeschool experiences right now. They will benefit more from being with you than from any traditional school, I just know it. Knowing you're there for them is worth just about anything.
Prayers forthcoming...
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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mama251ders
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| Posted: May 19 2008 at 6:50pm | IP Logged
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Thanks, ladies. I knew that I would encounter some kindness here! I am just about at the end of my rope with the bad stuff, but I know if I keep praying the light will start shining through!
Betsie
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Mama to 5 Wonders
Benny, Braidon, Olivia, Anna and Saragh
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guitarnan
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| Posted: May 19 2008 at 8:35pm | IP Logged
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Might I suggest asking for St. Joseph and St. Michael's intercession? I was feeling very upset about standard-issue life problems a couple of months ago, and asked ladies here to pray to St. Michael for me. I also did a novena to St. Joseph. While many of the long-term problems still exist, I feel much better about my ability to deal with them. I can only think that you-know-who was trying to tempt me into despair.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Anne McD
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| Posted: May 19 2008 at 9:11pm | IP Logged
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Hugs, Betsie! I don't have any advice, but you're not alone-- I know all too well that "out in the middle of the ocean and need a lifeline" feeling.
One thought-- laugh. It always makes me feel better when its all spiriling down. Join the kids in the silliest of things and just genuinely laugh. I'll pray for you this evening!!
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Anne
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and baby on the way! 10/14
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JenniferS
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| Posted: May 19 2008 at 10:16pm | IP Logged
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Ah! Sorry things have been so hard. Praying for you.
Jen
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Donna
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| Posted: May 20 2008 at 4:32am | IP Logged
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Eight Wonders wrote:
| "This too shall pass comes to mind." |
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Came to my mind, too. Praying for you and sending hugs your way.... .
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: May 21 2008 at 7:59am | IP Logged
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Betsie,
You are not alone! We have had many, many seasons like the one you are going through, including this year with four close family members dying in the past two months. No matter how difficult your life may seem you will always find comfort in uniting your sorrows with those of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. During one particularly painful time I was inspired to contemplate the Flight Into Egypt and the Hidden Life in Nazareth. When I focused my heart and soul on how difficult and lonely those days must have been for the Holy Family it strengthened me to endure our own trials. The season we are in now is more like the Via Delorosa and the Passion of our Lord. Pray for the grace to enter into the mystery of the sufferings which the Holy Family embraced for our sakes and you will find greater peace in your own agony. When we unite our sorrows with those of the Holy Family there can actually be joy and sweetness wrapped inside the pain. May Jesus, Mary and Joseph comfort, bless and guide you in your homeschooling journey and give you peace of soul in desert times.
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All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
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Lauri B
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| Posted: May 23 2008 at 12:48pm | IP Logged
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Oh Betsie!!!! We've all been there and I will not give you any advice (cause I hate that, when I need to vent!!) but I will give you lots of sympathy and virtual hugs!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( Prayers, too!
I will say, though, that your kids are very lucky to have such a caring mother. They're very resilient! They'll learn lots from how your family handles these crises, so please don't feel mother-guilt! You don't need that!!!!
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mama251ders
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| Posted: May 23 2008 at 3:52pm | IP Logged
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Well, enough is enough. It was very hard for me to do, but I asked our doctor to prescribe something for depression/anxiety. She has been on me to do this for about 2 years now and I think she had the prescription written before I finished the request! I felt like I had everything under control until just a few weeks ago when I started feeling really heavy. Although I didn't ask for prayers, you did anyway  and I think that gave me the strength to overcome my pride and ask for help. I am really hoping that this will get me going again in the right direction. Thank you very much, ladies for all you loving prayers and support. I never cease to be amazed at the power of prayer here! You are all wonderful and I am blessed to know you!
Blessings,
Betsie
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Mama to 5 Wonders
Benny, Braidon, Olivia, Anna and Saragh
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Really Bad Year (warning- very pitiful!)
