Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Subject Topic: Am I expecting too much? Post ReplyPost New Topic
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rivendellmom
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Posted: Feb 21 2005 at 4:14pm | IP Logged Quote rivendellmom

I promise I'll go to the Fireside and chat and do a proper intro, but I wanted to jump in here with a question. I have 4 children ages 6,9,11,14 we've had several miscarriages and I am finally safely pregnant with my 5th child due in July. My oldest is who I have a issue with. He has been less than helpful lately, and of course I need his help more than ever lately. I've been really patient as he is a night owl, I let him stay up way later than the rest of the kids and read and don't wake him up ultra early either. Its hard to explain, because he will eventually do whatever I ask of him, but it seems to be only at his pace. My DH has even started spending more time with him, but he just has this "attitude" that we are all in his way. Maybe I'm super sensitive (hormones), but I really feel like we have to nip this at the bud before I'm really exhausted again! Is this a common teenage boy phase? He really is a good kid, do you think he could be having trouble adjusting to the idea of another baby?

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Elizabeth
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Posted: Feb 21 2005 at 4:37pm | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

I think it's a common teenage boy thing, to some degree. But I also think that one of the tough things about having many children is that you get a pregnant mom and a teenaged child at the same time and hormones can rule the house! OTOH, you can be more empathetic towards his hormonal behavior than most mothers...The night owl thing drives me nuts with my son of a similar age. To some degree I understand that we all have our own internal clock, but the world tends to run on one that looks more like mine . I am trying to crack down on getting things completed in a reasonable amount of time and pointing out to him that other people are dependent on him.I find myself speaking frequently about farm teenagers of 100 years ago. They were built the same way and entire year's livelihoods depended upon the prompt and careful completion of chores. So, I am certain that it can be done; it's just that in modern America, we have created this state of being called "teenager," where we afford almost-adult-sized bodies lots of freedom and privilege and little responsibility. In a big family, it doesn't work that way. They actually get a real-life taste of being depended upon because we DO need them. Really, I think they are better off for it. And I'm noticing that the parents' of my older son's teammates (16 yos) are commenting along the same lines. They ask what we are doing and if they can do the same...the truth is we are doing what is required by the Real Life we live.

Climbing off my soapbox now.

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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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