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Amanda
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| Posted: April 05 2008 at 8:35pm | IP Logged
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Hi,
Sorry for the dramatic subject line, but I was trying to be succinct. My mom was diagnosed a month ago with a recurrence of her breast cancer. We thought it was gone 16 years ago, but it has spread throughout her bones and liver and she probably doesn't have much time, although of course my family and friends pray for her constantly and we believe in miracles.
My mother has never been churched, although she was probably baptised at birth (she was born in a home for unwed mothers). She was neglected as a child and has a hard time believing in her own self-worth--in my opinion, that is why it has always been hard for her to believe in a God of unconditional love.
She is receiving a bunch of New Age materials about life after death from one of her friends, and evangelical materials from an acquaintance. She has been reading these things, which gives me hope that she would also read something from me. Do you think there exists a book I could offer her that would do her good? I put "A Case for Christianity" aside to give her because she admires C.S. Lewis's tremendous intelligence, but what else? Something that speaks more directly to her situation?
I have spoken with my pastor and our DRE (who also runs our RCIA program) and they are ready to speak with her if she wishes. She does listen to the things I say, but I want to touch her heart. She says she would like to have "last rites", but her understanding of the sacrament is based on movies, I think. She hopes for forgiveness of her sins. Could she participate in the Sacrament of Reconciliation without going through the sacraments of initiation?
Sorry to throw this all out there. I am feeling my way with her. I have prayed for her conversion for years (I'm a convert), but I thought she would have more time to come to the Church.
Amanda
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LucyP
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| Posted: April 07 2008 at 2:34am | IP Logged
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Amanda, I am praying for your mom. I can only imagine how the Blessed Mother will be holding out her loving arms to your mom at such a time, so eager to take her to the feet of Jesus. Is there a chance that an approach through the tender, nurturing love of Mary would help your mom to be ready to go Jesus - even if she comes to believe in a more "childlike way" which we should all do anyway. Or a specific very obviously loving and tender image of Christ - like the Good Shepherd or the Divine Mercy Image? Almost trusting her to the Lord's mercy, even if she never progresses deeply into the faith but can just absorb the message of love and grace and mercy?
I will be praying for you. God bless you.
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Maddie
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| Posted: April 07 2008 at 8:15am | IP Logged
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I am praying for her too. Have Masses said BEFORE her passing, a Mass can work miracles. Pope Benedict XV said "The Holy Mass would be of greater profit if people had it offered in their lifetime, rather than having it celebrated for the relief of their souls after death."
We will say our Divine Mercy chaplet for her today.
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~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
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Amanda
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| Posted: April 07 2008 at 8:25am | IP Logged
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Thank you so much for the prayers and the suggestions. I tried talking to my mom about the Blessed Mother. It turns out that she had prayed to her thirty years ago when my brother was dying of cancer, and I got the feeling that she felt that Mary had let her down by not saving him.
About 20 years ago, she actually had a vision of Jesus putting his arms around her and telling her that He loved her--she felt his embrace--and she still doesn't believe that she will be with Him after death.
I will definitely see which images might help her. I am also going to see if she will join me in a taped guided meditation. And the Masses idea is a tremendous one--I will call my parish this morning about that.
Thanks again!I composed my post in tears and then realized as soon as I sent it that the forums were closing an hour later, so I have been hoping that a few people who read it may have prayed for my mom at Mass.
Amanda
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Michaela
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| Posted: April 07 2008 at 1:44pm | IP Logged
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Amanda,
I read your heartfelt post, when the boards were closed, and prayed for your situation.
I know it's difficult because I am going through something similiar with my mother, but she doesn't have a terminal illness.
My mother has the new age influence she has clinged to all my life, mixed with a little bit of Catholicism, Jehovah Witness boyfriend.....ugh! Finding the perfect thing to say to get her attention, speak to her heart, has been difficult. I don't have any advice because nothing is really working for me.
Live Jesus, love your mother, pray for her AND with her.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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Hoosiermama
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| Posted: April 09 2008 at 9:08am | IP Logged
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I'm sorry I have no good advice for you.
However, I will add you and your dear mom to my list of people I pray for every night as I say the Rosary.
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Erin
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| Posted: April 09 2008 at 4:11pm | IP Logged
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Amanda
Praying for you, your mum and family. 
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Erin
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Amanda
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| Posted: June 13 2008 at 10:43pm | IP Logged
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Hi,
For several weeks, I've been meaning to write a follow-up to this my message above. Nine days after my initial post, my mom had a sudden decline and could no longer speak, eat, or drink, and she died four days after that.
Despite the fact that we had much less time than we had expected, there were many blessings along the way. My pastor was out of town, but a sweet local priest came to the house for the Annointing of the Sick while she was still somewhat aware of things. My aunt, an evangelical
Christian, told me about some conversations she'd had with my mom in her last weeks which sounded as if she was truly converting (my aunt was much less leery of putting my mom off by seeming pushy, thank God!).
The night before my mom passed, my aunt and I were discussing the things my mom had said, and she felt confident that my mom would have wanted to be baptized if she hadn't already been. We were at a hospice facility by then, and when the staff called the local church, the monsignor turned up in minutes and baptized her provisionally, as well as saying prayers of commendation.
As she died, my brother and I were holding her hands, and I sang "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot."
I had a few moments alone with her afterwards and had my prayer book with me, so I had words with which to send her on her way when my own mind was overwhelmed.
We had a lovely Mass and my parish couldn't have been more welcoming to my mom and everyone else if she had been a lifelong parishoner.
Thank you so much for your prayers--I am sure they were a tremendous help!
Amanda
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MaryM
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| Posted: June 14 2008 at 12:11am | IP Logged
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Amanda,
I am very sorry for your loss, but what a moving story of her final days and of her death. Praying for the repose of her soul.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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aussieannie
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| Posted: June 14 2008 at 1:24am | IP Logged
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Amanda, offering a prayer for your mother's soul, that was beautiful to hear the events leading up to and including her death, she is blessed to have such children.
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LucyP
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| Posted: June 14 2008 at 3:14am | IP Logged
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Dear Amanda, I am so sorry that you lost your mother, but so glad that she went into such loving, welcoming, merciful hands. Your story of her last days is a story that is shot through with beauty, hope and answered prayers - a very precious legacy for her to leave. May God bless you, and I will pray for your mother's soul at church tonight. Lucy x
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guitarnan
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| Posted: June 14 2008 at 6:45am | IP Logged
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Amanda, I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. You are a really loving, devoted daughter and I am thankful you were able to be there with her when she needed you. I'll remember your mom in my prayers.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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missionfamily
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Amanda, I am sorry for your loss, but am blessed that you have shared this beautiful experience with us. Your faith and courage were beautiful gifts to your mother. I will continue to pray for you and the repose of your mother's soul.
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Colleen
dh Greg
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Lavenderfields
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Dear Amanda,
I am so sorry for the loss of your Mother. Please know that I am praying for the respose of her soul and for you.
God Bless
Robynn
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mellyrose
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Amanda, I've been praying for you & your mom since I first read your post. I'm now praying for the repose of her soul and for you & your family.
My MIL recently died from bone & liver cancer (after beating breast cancer twice in years past) and her descent was rapid as well (3 weeks from diagnosis to her death). I know how hard it is, and I hope you are able to find peace now.
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Melanie in AZ
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Maryan
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Prayers here Amanda. What a consolation to hear how the last days went.
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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
A Lee in the Woudes
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krygerzoo
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Oh, Amanda, what a blessing! Although death and dying are such a painful part of life, we Catholics also know the beauty of this experience.
Praying for the repose of her soul! May our Lord comfort you during this time of loss and adjustment.
Thank you for sharing...
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Peace, Katherine
wife to David '89, mom to +Kaden Michael (8/15/94-5/10/05), DD'97, DS'99, DD'01, DS'05, (+baby'08), DS'09, (+baby'12) & DD '13
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MarieA
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Amanda,
I am so sorry for your loss. I am praying for the repose of your Mom's soul and for you and your family.
Marie
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Converting my dying mom
