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donnalynn
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Lisbet
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Donna, I guess I'm missing something? There is another board sprung from this one?
I've learned that in these situations, with 'cyber-communication', it's alway best to err on the side of charity and assume the best of others. Intentions are rarely menicing, kwim?
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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LisaR
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what board? what is happening? who is missing?
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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donnalynn
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Matilda
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Here is what I think and this is all my own opinion. I noticed quite a while ago even before this board reorganized, many of the regular contributors stopped showing up (or if they did, it was only to make an announcement or a prayer request). I am sorry if this hurts anyone’s feelings, but it seemed to happen around the time or just before they had new developments in their life in the ways of career advancements or personal achievements. Now I know, that most people here are “professional moms” (that is, being a mom is our profession) but there are also some people who have tried to make a name for themselves among the “professional homeschooling/catholic/mommy” community and really do a lot to promote themselves and the others in that group.
When this happened, personally, I had high school flashbacks. I looked around for the people I could trust and look to for guidance. On the one hand, there were the women who were again and again setting themselves up as an authority on some aspect of homeschooling, Catholicism, domestic arts and engaging in meaty debates and conversations about their philosophies of education. Now, maybe they really do have some authority with which to speak and is there really anything wrong with promoting yourself when you have something you believe to be of value to offer? I don’t know. I’m not them.
But then I saw some women who certainly had the experience and credentials to be considered “gurus” who were sharing the knowledge that they had gained in a complete spirit of sharing. Instead of trying to be the center of attention, they were trying to be little and tucked away, trying to serve their families and sharing what they had learned from their experiences with everyone without asking for affirmation in return. Instead of having all the answers and convincing others they were right, these ladies were simply sharing what worked for them in their families and at the same time being very honest about their failings and trials. These are the women who speak to me. The others might speak better to someone else.
But, I digress…I think we should all be aware that not everyone is as transparent as we think they are. People come into this community with different motivations. Just because you are here for personal growth and community, doesn’t mean that everyone else is. And people who enter a community like this one for one reason, might continue it for another or might decide to leave it for still yet another. I recognize that some people might only need a community like this one or others for a certain phase of their life before moving on to different interests or ideas. Others truly get caught up in their life and the lives around them and make the decision to shift their focus temporarily or even permanently. I have found myself doing this a little.
As far as specifics go, I don’t think anyone can ever know all of the mitigating factors behind someone’s decision. Some people might not be capable of being that honest with strangers, even friends, or in some cases, with themselves.
As far as the new board goes, I really don't have anything to say. I guess it would be up to everyone to decide if it fits into their life and what they want for their family right now.
Just my 2 cents.
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Charlotte (Matilda)
Mom to four (11 , 10 , 9 & 5 ) an even split for now
with bookend boys and a double girl sandwich
Waltzing Matilda
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MaryM
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Just to clarify, there is indeed a new message board hosted by MicheleQ that was just launched, or rather her FCL Yahoo list and sewing message board have expanded focus and changed format. This new board is enjoying participation by a variety of folks – many familiar as current or formerly active members here. While it might to some feel like a scattering of conversation, cyberspace offers many opportunities for people to show initiative and come together as community. It serves no purpose to speculate or wonder about anything beyond that. So this thread should not go into speculation about why things change or about anyone involved. What we can do is go forward enjoying and sharing with those who are here.
On another note…
It is important though to acknowledge change – for some that is perceived as loss. The one thing that is a constant in this world is change – sounds funny, huh? But, oh, so true.
I’ve been involved in women’s support networks of various kinds for almost 20 years. The one thing I see over and over is turn-over, transition, and change. Change/loss is often felt profoundly by members. That is normal. It’s also normal for others to not really have a sense of change and go easily with whatever is current. We are all different in our personalities (temperaments) so how we individually perceive will vary.
When there is a specific network or group of people that were present when one “joined” that can be what a member identifies with the group. Inevitably though people transition, have different needs or desires, relationships change, children grow, etc. etc. But groups or networks continue to meet the needs of those who are present at that given time. If there are ideas you have or suggestions you have for helping this message board best serve the needs of our cyber community please let us as moderators know. In fact as we prepare for a brief spring retreat at the end of the month this is a great time to have some thoughts to throw around.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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Matilda
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One more thing...
I have heard from some people who have complained that this board doesn't offer the same opportunity for debate/discussion that it once did possibly because of the tone of voice and level of virulence expressed by some towards others on various subjects. I recently read an article about how online discussions bring out the nastiest in us and sadly, from what I have seen, I have to say that it can be true. If new forums choose to take on the challenge of debates/discussions and some people find that more to their liking, then more power to them. I personally would not want the challenge of keeping all of those egos in check but it might be an interesting place to visit.
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Charlotte (Matilda)
Mom to four (11, 10, 9 & 5) an even split for now
with bookend boys and a double girl sandwich
Waltzing Matilda
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Matilda
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Mary M,
I guess we were cross posting but I just wanted to say that you are absolutely right about the only thing constant is change and that we shouldn't speculate as to the reasons why. No good can come of that.
If I any of my comments were interpreted in that way then I apologize. That was not my intent. Merely to express what I perceived. We are women after all; feeling, caring, perceptive women.
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Charlotte (Matilda)
Mom to four (11, 10, 9 & 5) an even split for now
with bookend boys and a double girl sandwich
Waltzing Matilda
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Angie Mc
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Matilda wrote:
I guess we were cross posting... We are women after all; feeling, caring, perceptive women. |
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You are right, Matilda. You two were cross-posting and...we sure are women in all our fullness  .
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
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Martha
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wow, I didn't notice much other than traffic here seemed slower than before.
I thought it was all in my head and meant I was on the net to much! 
now I like a good debate.
debate as in we're all good christians doing the best we can to discuss a topic and offerring a charitable benefit of the doubt to others rather than presuming they intend personal injury. 
that said, I'm the same way in person
have you ever gone to a dinner or something and everyone was talking about the weather or movies or some such very boring nicey-nice conversation?
well I know that has it's place and all, but I can't stand it. I want to have real conversations. I want to really hear other people's perspective and discuss things in depth. I like to pick apart an argument and discuss all it's parts. Unfortunately, some people tend to think they are being picked apart or personally attacked. With rare exception that is not my intent at all.
for me it's not ego (well most of the time )
for me - that's simply how knowledge is pursued
now, I'm agast that there's a catholic board I'm not only not already on, but didn't even know existed, so I'm off to go join it post haste!
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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Mary G
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Martha wrote:
| now, I'm agast that there's a catholic board I'm not only not already on, but didn't even know existed, so I'm off to go join it post haste! |
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wow, are we sympatico!
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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Marie
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As someone who has been reading this board much longer than I have been a contributer to it, I agree that things have gotten slower perhaps. I have noticed it, but I assumed it was due to busy families and people readjusting priorities - things I understand and respect. That said,I did "feel" the difference and have felt the "loss". I think it is a normal albiet difficult part of being in community whether that is in real life of online. People join, participate to varying degrees, and some move on. This is life. And I continue to appreciate all that goes on here! And I didn't know about the other board and I probably don't need another great place to keep me occupied on the computer...I spend enough time :)
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Paula in MN
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I completely agree with everything that all of you have said.
I have noticed that members active when I joined are no longer posting. I have also noticed a TON of new members since I joined, and I am getting support, encouragement, and knowledge from all of them. Yes, the board has changed since I joined 1 1/2 years ago, but I have changed and so has my life.
And you're not getting rid of me!
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Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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teachingmyown
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I have been mulling this over all day.`I was interested to read what others would say. I even popped over there to see what the deal was.
My first feeling was that of being hurt. I hate change and tend to worry about motives when something like this happens. It seems redundant which leads one to believe that there is something "wrong" here that would lead to this. I can understand if it stemmed from the whole open debates vs moderated threads. Some folks like a lively discussion, some want a place a little safer and cordial. Neither side is wrong.
At this point, I just feel disappointed. I have "known" many of the ladies that have migrated to the new forum for years. I miss their participation here and would like to have the opportunity to converse with them again. But I don't have time for two forums. I would have to choose one eventually, sooner than later for the sake of my family.
It was hard to make the transition from my yahoo groups to this forum. I lost some contacts that I valued. But this forum had everything I was looking for and I couldn't keep up in both places. Now I feel like I am at that crossroads again and it makes me sad because I don't understand why.
I love 4Real. It has been my support for years now. I am so grateful for all the time and effort that the moderators put into it. Like Paula said, some of the names have changed but it is still a great place to be!
Love you all!
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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MarilynW
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OK - maybe it's just me - my main comment is "how do you have time for another forum?"
I struggle to control how much time I spend on this one - which I love by the way - and (if i ever get to go on my blog again  life is too busy right now) I have a draft post on how much this forum means to me.
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Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
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ladybugs
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I would personally just like to thank all of you who have been instrumental in helping my family and homeschool throughout these years. I think without 4real my homeschool would have been real flat.
I am one of the ones who has had to diminish my computer time, but I always remember the intentions and needs of this board in my prayers and I am grateful for you all!
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Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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Paula in MN
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ladybugs wrote:
| I would personally just like to thank all of you who have been instrumental in helping my family and homeschool throughout these years. I think without 4real my homeschool would have been real flat. |
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What she said! 
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Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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Leonie
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MarilynW wrote:
| OK - maybe it's just me - my main comment is "how do you have time for another forum?" |
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That is me! My life is so busy that I don't get time to post here, or any other forum, as much as I would like. I blog , I email a bit, I live in a constant state of busy-ness.
Yet I like to join a forum, the other forum, any other forum, this forum, in the hope that one day I might have time to post. And in case I am missing out on something.
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Ruth
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Paula in MN wrote:
ladybugs wrote:
| I would personally just like to thank all of you who have been instrumental in helping my family and homeschool throughout these years. I think without 4real my homeschool would have been real flat. |
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What she said! |
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Same here. I have learned so much from everyone here. I cannot even begin to list all the areas of my life that have improved because of all of you. I'm blessed to be a part of this family. Thank you, all.
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Ruth
mom to 7 miracles
My family blog
Loreto Rosaries
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mama251ders
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Okay, I think I missed something or perhaps I am just not as internet savvy as the rest of you. Where is this other forum? I am incredibily curious, but very loyal, so I won't leave! I just want to see what all the hub-bub is about.
Blessings,
Betsie
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Wife to Oliver
Mama to 5 Wonders
Benny, Braidon, Olivia, Anna and Saragh
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: What's happening?
