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happymama
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 1:02pm | IP Logged
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Okay, just for fun, an opinion poll: hypothetically, and ideally speaking, would you rather live in town, in a city, or out in the country?
It's a topic continually on my mind, as we are far from feeling "settled" with our family. Am looking for votes or insights.
With 3 energetic sons and an appreciation for the benefits of nature, I'm inclined to want the country life... But I'm married to a frugal man who worries about gas prices, driving into town for everything from groceries to soccer games, and so on. In his heart, though, he's a country boy too, raised on the farm.
There seem to be so many pros/cons!
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DeAnn M
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Definitely the country!
I grew up in the mountains in VA and miss them terribly! We now live in the stressed-out, traffic-infested area of Northern VA. I live about 1/4 of a mile from a grocery store and if I need to go at the "wrong" time it takes me a good 10 minutes to sit through the traffic.
Then we have the, "neighborhood knuckleheads"--that's my husband's affectionate name for the pack of boys in our neighborhood. They are decent about 1/2 of the time and the other half, they are rotten and mean. Since our neighborhood is conveniently located in the middle of everything, our door is constantly being pounded upon by a solicitor or a couple of friendly Morman boys. I was just thinking this morning that I would love to live out in the country and be left alone.
Yes, you are further away from everything, but honestly, since we live so close, I am constantly going to Target and Giant and spending a lot more time and money than I would if I just made one trip per week. I think living further out in the country would help me to be more disciplined, efficient, and learn to, "make do" with the ingredients I have on hand. Plus, it seems more reasonable to have a small vegetable garden, or at least an herb garden out in the country. I can barely plant flowers here without them being trampled upon and biked over by the knuckleheads.
Maybe I'm idealizing what I don't have right now. I think it's interesting that many people our age and a little younger talk about moving back to the country. I think there's sort of a backlash happening right now...a backlash against this rushed, commercialized, stressed out suburban/city life.
I'm sure the "country" folks have their issues too! The grass is always greener, but you still have to mow it, right? 
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SusanJ
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Well I could go on and on and on about this but I'll try not to. Dh and I are very much city people. We feel pretty strongly about this and we have done lots of reading about neighborhood development, urban decay and revitalization. One of our favorite past times, especially when traveling, is to drive around cities and look at the neighborhoods. I've actually thought about writing a unit study on "urban nature study" but no time, yet. A few of our reasons, in no particular order . . .
Living in the city is more environmentally friendly. It sure saves on gas to not have to commute a long way to work. But on a more global level, it just isn't sustainable for everyone in the world to have a yard. It drives me batty when friends dream of their "few acres just outside of town" because, obviously, everyone can't have that. And then all the roads you need to build to get everyone back into the city for work and all the runoff from those. And then all the stores need huge parking lots because everyone is really spread out. I completely understand the desire to have a yard for the kids. I think its unfortunate that most city neighborhoods no longer have any kind of stoop culture where it is safe for the neighborhood kids to run around on the sidewalks and in the alleys together.
Cities are more humanizing, I think. I know this is a point of great debate among my friends, some of whom feel positively suffocated and overwhelmed in cities. But I do think it's good for my kids to grow up around all different kinds of people. This has its drawbacks, of course. There are a bunch of drug dealers working our block of late and we can't quite shake them. I don't like that but they aren't dangerous to us personally. We do what we can to fight that while at the same time realizing that it comes with the real benefit of diversity. I think especially as Catholics we are called to look at the full range of humanity to the extent possible and meet them in a real way. Also, I used to overwhelmed and suffocated by my city but once I'd lived here a few months it felt much more manageable and now it feels like I live in a small town. I'm familiar with it and really do recognize most of the people I see on my street.
Living in a dense city also allows more opportunity to organize common interests. I have within walking distance a United Buying Club, a co-op organized to bring in food from an Amish farmer, a special-needs group, a Catholic moms group, two good parishes, and a playgroup composed of moms who all homebirth, homeschool, and follow the Weston Price diet. All within walking distance.
I also think cities are ideal for homeschooling. One caveat, here, is that our city (Washington DC) is uniquely suited to this because it is so small and everything is free. But I do think that the things that are true here are often true to a greater or lesser extent in other cities as well. We can walk easily to several world-class museums. We go pretty regularly to the National Gallery of Art and the US Botanical Gardens. There are tons of free concerts and other cultural events going on. There is a huge international population in most cities meaning lots of different food, languages, worship styles, festivals, etc.
I think kids can be independent at an earlier age in cities. My oldest is only three but I can imagine allowing a child navigate the Metro here on his own before he was old enough to drive. Certainly I see tons of school kids doing this every day. Even once our kids are sixteen, I don't imagine we will have a lot of spare vehicles. For kid who want part-time jobs that are more opportunities within walking distance of home as well.
I think I'll stop there for fear that no one is actually going to read this long of a post! I really could keep going, though. For all my enthusiasm, we may not be urban-dwellers much longer. Dh is job-hunting and we could end up anywhere. I think the next application on his to-to list is in North Dakota. But we always dream of staying here or moving to New York City.
Susan
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SusanJ
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 1:57pm | IP Logged
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DeAnn M wrote:
I think there's sort of a backlash happening right now...a backlash against this rushed, commercialized, stressed out suburban/city life.
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I couldn't agree more with your post, DeAnn, just want to clarify (in case it wasn't glaringly obvious from my novel-length post above) that I think the suburbs (even the busy ones) and the cities are two completely different things. I lived in NoVA before I was married and really hated it. It's dense suburban but its still suburban and its nothing at all like living in the city. Cities are often destroyed when the city planners try to bring in suburban elements. It just doesnt' work that way. We have a very large, active, mothers group in my neighborhood and I definitely see the backlash from the other side. Most of these moms would do anything to keep from moving to the suburbs. They see that as total exile and a horrible lifestyle. I think some people are city people and some people are country people but the suburbs are neither city or country.
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lapazfarm
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I am definitely a country girl. I absolutely wilt and die in a city or suburb and my dh and children are the same way. In fact, I can literally feel my chest tighten and heart rate elevate when I visit relatives in cities. It just feels unnatural. Something about all of that pavement...
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LisaR
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ditto Susan's first post- I could have written it!!
You know where we live, as you used to live in our neighborhood. I love the fact that the rising gas prices do not affect us much- 1 mile from stores, the bookmobile lady just asked if she could PARK AT MY HOUSE!! for the entire summer!!, 5 miles to Tim's work, 5 miles to Childrens Hospital (yes, we were there yesterday for surgery!!) , I've had to call 911 twice, and they arrived within 2 minutes, I kid you not!
also we are walking distance to Church/Adoration, and I could go on and on.
Honestly, country living would be too expensive for us. between the rising costs of filling heating tanks, septic issues, gas milage, etc etc. we could never swing it. We also like that we are very unattached to our home or yard. We like it, and it is quite large actually, but it does not rule us with lots of upkeep needs, etc. Trust me, my kids do not need to live on lots of acerage to learn how to work!!
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Angie Mc
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We've done it all! I grew up in a city, went to college in a small town, early marriage lived colleges towns and cities, lived on the west and east coast, lived rural remote, had acreage in the country, on and on. Our family is most satisfied right now. We live in a small town (Apache Junction) on the outskirts of a large metro area (Phoenix/Mesa Maricopa County.) When you drive east through Maricopa County, it is packed with every modern convenience and housing option. For example, at the last exit of 60 (the main highway) there is a huge shopping complex (think IMAX, restaurants, department stores, specialty stores, etc.). Then you hit our county, Pinal. It is like you dropped off the face of the earth! You have about 2 miles of space and then you hit our town - which is not a suburb. And we're one mile off the highway. So, I tease that I am 3 miles from civilization . As may children get older, we are thrilled with just the right amount of small town community (parish, Little League, karate, mom and pop natural food store, etc.) and access to the big city (Major League Baseball of course!...and museums and a large Catholic homeschooling group.) Advice? If you do choose to live *out there*, see if you can land near a main highway for quick access to the big world:).
Love,
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LisaR
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 2:15pm | IP Logged
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one thing that sealed it for us, confirming that we should stay where we were, was when Tim happened upon a deceased person trapped under a crashed car on a rural road recently. It took almost 30 minutes for the volunteer ambulances to come, and we have heard similar horror stories from others about response times being horrendous in rural areas.
What was most important to us was
1. living within 10 miles of dh's job
2. living within 5 miles, prefer walking distance, of Catholic Church
3. sidewalks!!
4. yard size
5. emergency services (they are less than one mile away)
6. shopping (again, one mile)
7. home size (yes, it is way down here!!)
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LisaR
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 2:17pm | IP Logged
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Angie Mc wrote:
Advice? If you do choose to live *out there*, see if you can land near a main highway for quick access to the big world:).
Love, |
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YES!! this was the second part of my number 1- we wanted to be less than a mile from I 74, as dh travels out of town every Sat. and, happymama, you know we are very close!! 
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Mackfam
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 2:47pm | IP Logged
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Hmmm...well...I'm a dissenter...it's the country for us!
We love our green. All I hear are the birds and the windchimes. No distractions. The kids are excited to head back to the woods after lessons to play in their fort they made in the trees. A walk to the river resets all of us - the quiet, the nature, the wildlife. We make fewer trips into town and it saves us a lot of money - but don't ask me about online purchases. 
Great scope for the imagination here!
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DeAnn M
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I suppose I shouldn't have lumped suburban and city life together with that "/." Sorry about that. You are absolutely right, Susan, they are completely different. I have a friend who lives off of Conn. Ave. in DC and I love to visit her. It's wonderful that everything is within walking distance. She walks her kids to preschool, to the park and then to the store. It's great. There's definitely a great community feel there that one would miss in the country or even the suburbs. It's also true... my friends who live in the city hate the suburbs and my friends who live in the country couldn't take living in the city or the suburbs. Town mice and country mice. :)
Suburbs can be nice, too. There can be a great sense of community there as well. I've seen it and heard about it...just haven't had the pleasure of experiencing it. I think everything depends on the location.
My husband and I have done a lot of reading recently as well about farming and taking care of land and property. Maybe not the opposite, but different than urban revitalization. I really think both perspectives are needed. We need to take care of our land and resources and teach our children to do so, just as much as we need to breathe life into struggling urban areas. Town mice and country mice both have a purpose.
Angie, sounds like you are in a most ideal situation...the best of all worlds. That's great!
I won't babble anymore...sorry. This subject is always on my mind, too!
DeAnn
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insegnante
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City, definitely, but I don't see it happening. I lived in Brooklyn, NY till 21 and have been in Maryland and Virginia DC suburbs since. I have no experience of country living but suspect my preference would be city, country, then suburbia. Our next stop is probably what I think of as mostly country, the Front Royal area, but FR itself is actually a small town that I guess could be considered either on the extreme outskirts of the DC area or just outside it.
One thing I'm really curious about is what small town/small city life is like in a place largely independent of any nearby metro area. Like a town of 30,000 people that is the largest population center within a radius of 100 miles or more. Those probably still exist somewhere in the U.S., right?
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Donna
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Country! I'm just like Theresa...I can't breathe properly in the city, I need woods and fields and lots of wildflowers!
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Tina P.
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We live in what I would call a sort of farming suburb, if that makes sense. There are chickens, geese, donkeys, horses, and llamas raised out here. We all live relatively close, each having a plot of 1/2 to 1 acre (except for the guy with the horses and llamas). The true farming community is close and the city isn't too far off. I couldn't tell you how long it took the one time we needed emergency transportation because it was me who needed it.
We have friends who live in a valley on the other side of the mountains and aside from sports involvement and mass once per week, they *never* come down to the city. Sometimes the weather deters them and sometimes the up-and-down driving is just too much for their cars. It's rather sad because they miss out on opportunities to be involved in plays, children's choir, impromptu art/craft days ... and all this they miss.
So, while we'd *like* more land (I'm sneakily waiting until my elderly next-door neighbors are ready to sell their plot ), more freedom, maybe a little creek or pond on our property, and less pavement, I really like the convenient access to church, friends, and activities. We live in a circle. Maybe we can buy out *all* of the neighbors within the circle eventually! 
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LisaR
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 4:51pm | IP Logged
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I suppose I am realizing that for our family, we have it pretty good- park district woodlands and an open field one house down, and deer and red fox in our back yard among other critters. our metro area is almost 300,000, and the city is 150ish,000- we are right within the city limits, but 1/2 of my subdivision is outside the limits and has a different school district. so we are in the heart of it all, but on the outskirts at the same time?
happymama, there is a house on about 2 acres next to the taylors aaaalllll the way down at the end of Say.... Street- backing up to more nature preserve- want to move back to the neighborhood???
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dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
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SallyT
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I like the city, but the urban areas I have loved living in have been ones with almost immediate access to nature. For most of the 8 years we lived in Utah, we lived in downtown Salt Lake. We could walk to everything -- including City Creek Canyon, a nature preserve at the back of our neighborhood. I'll never forget walking up the road to City Creek one day and having a deer (a buck, actually) cross the road right in front of me and clatter on down into the lower part of the canyon. Heaven! And in Cambridge, again we lived in the central part of the town, which we loved, but five minutes took you to open green space along the river and grazing cattle.
Right now we live in the suburbs, which isn't bad -- we live in a 1950s neighborhood, very modest, with people who've lived here for 50 years, and I like that. I like having a yard, and I'd love to have more. The idea of being able to turn my kids loose in my own woods has tremendous appeal, as does being able to hear nothing but crickets. In Cambridge we did tire a bit of late-night human wildlife, especially as a lot of it seemed bent on using our garden gate as a toilet. I'm just not sure I want to go back to that degree of "urban," even though I loved a lot about it.
We're looking at possible places to live around (but not in) Charlotte, NC, right now . . . our entire family has fallen in love with an 1835 house on more than a half-acre of land in a downtown area of a surrounding small town with a vibrant Main Street . . . right now I think that's my ideal, but we'll see. I'm sure God knows what my real ideal is going to be, and He will let me know . . .
Sally
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PDyer
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insegnante wrote:
| One thing I'm really curious about is what small town/small city life is like in a place largely independent of any nearby metro area. Like a town of 30,000 people that is the largest population center within a radius of 100 miles or more. Those probably still exist somewhere in the U.S., right? |
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What you describe sounds like where I live, although we're not 100 miles from a metro area. We're 30 miles from the nearest city, 40 miles from the next nearest city, and 60 miles from the large city to our north. We've lived in this town (population about 25,000) for five years, and frankly I'm still getting used to it.  My husband's commute is approx. 5 minutes. I can be nearly anywhere, on the other side of town, in 15 minutes. We used to live in town, in walking distance from the library and a small grocery store, but we moved to a small subdivision outside of the city limits two years ago. I LOVE where we live now. Living in a small town has its advantages, but. BUT. I miss museums. I miss nature centers. I miss Target. I miss having options. But I'll adjust eventually.
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CrunchyMom
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Well, I think that the most "natural" lifestyle is agrarian, but we don't live in an agrarian society anymore, and it just isn't feasible for everyone to have that now.
I grew up in very rural Alabama, and I am a country girl at heart. I live in the city now, and I'm not sure I would like the suburbs very much. It just isn't feasible for us to own any amount of land and not having dh commuting forever. Land here costs SO much! Right now, I'd rather keep him home for lunch every day than commuting an hour each way! Dh 10 min from work, walking distance to churches, the library, etc... all would be hard to exchange for the country.
Maybe some day dh will be in a postion to change jobs that will allow the country lifestyle, but I'm a baby when I think about living it with him gone commuting so much!
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folklaur
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While in my mind, I prefer the country...I think in reality I am much happier in a city. Right now, I feel we are much more suburban, though. We can't really walk anywhere interesting, although museums, zoos, etc are only a short drive. But I like a "walking city."
I would love to live in NYC or DC...My dh, who grew up in Grand Junction, CO - would HATE living in a city like that.
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lilac hill
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In the country by choice after a suburban childhood and large and small city school years.
This wonderful place has been home since day one and yet after 16 years I am still meeting people and making the community connections, not necessarily created from location but interests.
Animals, hay, equipment, hunting, butchering, township road crew, people from here and people like me make such a diversified "neighborhood".
Unfortunately like everywhere else, there is the local boy that revs his engine and races down country roads with way too much anger (and surprisingly when I see his car with a crackled windshield I worry), drugs (not always locally grown), and plenty of illegals who staff the Christmas tree farms.
I guess I can appreciate Susan's remarks about neighborhood, just from a rural point of view.
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Viv
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: live in town or the country?
