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chicken lady
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 7:02am | IP Logged
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because I am having a VERY difficult time wrapping my brain around its evilness. I know we need prayers for direction and guidance, so we ask you all to pray.
This is the situation in a nutshell. 3 days ago I went for my follow up with my midwifes. The same midwifes that I have used for the past 4 babies, feeling VERY cared for and in capable hands. I was met with the "head" midwife, Nancy, asking to speak with me. She politley sat me down, with a lovely smile on her face, and proceeded to explain to me that unless I was willing to see a genetic counsler and considered the option of terminating this pregnancy, they (the midwifes) consider me "mentally unstable" and cannot continue to care for me. I need to see a "doctor" they know, who they feel, can give me a clearer picture of the "gravity" of the baby's health and situation. (hmmmm we were told her heart problems were not life threatening) It is their belief that because Oliver died, that I am not "capable" of making clear decisions on these matters.
My head and spinning in disbelief! I know people think like this, I just never thought someone would directly say it to my face. It is a very scary and vulnerable feeling to know that people want to kill your child, because that child "may" not be perfect.
Again, everything that they "know" to be wrong with my baby is a relative risk NOT an absolute risk. The more Bill and I have researched the more it sounds like people are just trying to play defensive medicine and the risks are nominal that there is even ANYTHING wrong!
I was hysterically crying as I was being told this, which I am certain only made me look more "unstable" but I could not help it, I was horrified and in shock. I did end by telling the midwife that this was Religious discrimention and that Bill and I do not consider a baby with health issues or Down syndrome to be a problem. We know problems, dead children are a problem not a Down's baby. To that I was met with a smirk and a off the cuff remark about my thinking being emotionally driven by Oliver's death.
Please pray that I can find a health care provider, in Pgh, that will take me at this point in my pregnancy. I do have several calls out, and a couple of tentative appts. to interview different drs.
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msclavel
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 7:09am | IP Logged
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Oh Molly, this just makes me weep with you. God bless your dear family and precious baby girl. Storming heaven for all your needs.
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amyable
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 7:15am | IP Logged
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How horrible! Praying for you and all involved!
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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jdostalik
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 7:16am | IP Logged
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Molly,
You sat facing great evil yesterday and thanks be to God for showing you now so you can find a nurturing OB or midwife who respects and loves life. I will hold you close in prayer today and am storming heaven for you and your precious baby. God love you!! 
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God Bless,
Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
Let the Little Ones Come
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marihalojen
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 7:20am | IP Logged
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Molly, I am praying.
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~Jennifer
Mother to Mariannna, age 13
The Mari Hal-O-Jen
SSR = Sailing, Snorkling, Reading
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cvbmom
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 7:29am | IP Logged
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I pray that you can find someone who respects life. It is SO SAD when people who see the miracle of life daily cannot accept the beauty of it. I just don't get it! Cheering for someone who has had trouble conceiving one moment, offering to "terminate" a possible "problem" the next. All life is miraculous - I am praying for you and your baby.
God bless,
Christine
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Wife to dh - 18 years!
Mom to dd (16), ds (15), dd, (12), dd (11), ds (9), dd (8), dd (7), ds (5), dd (3), ds (2), and ds (1)
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guitarnan
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 7:47am | IP Logged
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I can't decide whether to scream or cry.
You are NOT unstable. You are a life-giving and loving mom who wants the best for her baby. THEY are unstable if they cannot respect your wishes.
I am praying for you, and for them. Don't give up. Our Lady will shelter you in her loving arms...she, too, faced a difficult and uncertain pregnancy and had to deal with the wrong-headed opinions of others.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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chicken lady
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 8:01am | IP Logged
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guitarnan wrote:
| Our Lady will shelter you in her loving arms...she, too, faced a difficult and uncertain pregnancy and had to deal with the wrong-headed opinions of others. |
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This is such a comforting thought! Thank you!
I have to tell you, I told my dh and a friend, I may be unstable for MANY things  , but not killing my child, is not one of them!
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JennGM
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 8:07am | IP Logged
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Oh Molly, this is so tough. I'm praying for you.
Is this just legal mumbo jumbo? Can they show you in writing that these are the hoops to jump through? Or is it just this practice has a prejudice?
It also sounds like there's a disconnect on the information from the sono and what they are inferring.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
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SusanJ
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You will be in my Rosary every day as you work to find a solution. I will pray for your midwives as well. How horrible!
Susan
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Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
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chicken lady
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That is exactly right Jenn, there is ZERO logic involved here. Bottom line, in our opinion, they don't want to be sued for a deformed baby, and it is easier to kill her than risk a law suit! After all, this is number 7, why would we want this "problem"! Bill and I have asked 2 other dr. to read our sono reports, both agree that these risks are not considerable. EVEN if they were, it would not matter to us. That makes us "ubstable". Our priest friend told us that our type of thinking is considered to be "morally wrong" in todays culture of death! We are seen by todays standards as wrong, for "knowingly" risking, having a less than perfect child.
Again, these are not givens, there is a VERY high chance that she, (baby) will be born healthy and "normal". What ever that is 
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Ruth
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I'm so sorry, Molly. I will pray for all your intentions. I pray for you and your baby girl every day.
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Ruth
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Mare
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 8:23am | IP Logged
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Oh Molly,
This makes me  We faced a similar situation at one time but we were treated in a caring and professional manner. During that time, I, too, was comforted with the image of our Lady wrapping her mantle around me.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this! My prayers are with you.
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JenniferS
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 8:24am | IP Logged
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Oh, Molly...many prayers for you and your family.
Jen
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Rebecca
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 8:36am | IP Logged
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Molly, What a horrible experience. I am offering many prayers for you. The good news is that you HIRED those midwives. You can also fire them for their outright ignorance and rudeness.
There are doctors who would be willing to support you and your beliefs. I am sure of that. Have you spoken to Jeff or Freida? Can he be your doctor for this pregnancy and birth? There are so many connections in this state. We will find someone Molly. Call me and we can brainstorm together.
Love,
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chicken lady
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| Posted: March 27 2008 at 8:40am | IP Logged
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Rebecca wrote:
| . Have you spoken to Jeff or Freida? , |
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Yes both!! Neither can help me as we need a NICU , if in fact the baby has the condition that are possible. We want to be prudent and not have a home birth. Jeff is one of the drs I was referring to as having read my sono report and Frieda finds this incredulous.
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Mary Chris
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Molly,
My prayers are with you!
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Blessings, Mary Chris Beardsley
mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92
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hylabrook1
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Molly -
Praying and praying! How could Oliver's death NOT affect you? That it should have an impact on your life is normal, not the root of instability! That doesn't mean that you can't go on and make appropriate decisions about your other children! Maybe you make even better decisions as you deeply know the value of each and every life! Praying you find the (medical) care and support you need and that your new baby's birth is a true joy to you.
Peace,
Nancy
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lilac hill
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Praying for you.
Maybe you should probably have a support person/witness with you when you deal with this practice in the future and would your second opioions put their findings in writing?
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Viv
Wife to Rick (7/83), Mom to dd#1(6/87), dd#2(1/90), and dd#3(6/94) in central PA.
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teachingmyown
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Oh Molly! I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I will fervently pray that you find a wonderful doctor.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: I had hesitated to share this
