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stefoodie
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| Posted: Feb 05 2008 at 10:44am | IP Logged
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Hi all, here's a little situation we've been seeing a lot more of lately here at home. DH and I have been over it several times and we have not come up with a solution that looks like it will work for all.
DS-1 has his Lego sets, and DS-2 has his. And then there's the "community Lego box" that's for all.
However, in playing, roughhousing, etc., inevitably some of their pieces get lost in the "pile".
What happens next is an argument, which may or may not escalate into a fight. This may sound familiar:
That piece is mine.
No, it's mine.
And so on and so forth.
DH and I have tried different ways to deal with this:
- try to convince them to use a different piece, which usually doesn't work, at least not without much grumbling and grief on the part of the one who has to "settle".
- take the piece away, so no one has it.
- ask them to take turns.
- allow one or both of them to buy more pieces to compensate.
None of those solutions we're happy about, since:
- we don't really know whose piece it is, and we don't know if THEY know.
what if both of them BELIEVE it is their piece, and that the other one is being, say, greedy?
what if one is, indeed, lying, but we don't really have a way to determine who so we can root out the problem and fix it.
letting them buy more Lego everytime this happens is obviously not an acceptable solution.
taking turns is not really the way either of them want to go, and it really doesn't make sense.
they're not really wanting to build their creations "exactly as it is in the box", so it's not a matter of wanting to recreate the predetermined model. it's just really that they want THAT PIECE.
now that Lent is almost here, i'm almost tempted to take all Lego out of their rooms and let it stay in the basement for 40 days. not a bad idea now that i'm thinking about it. though it still won't fix the problem once the 40 days are over.... any ideas?
thanks!
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stef
mom to five
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Michaela
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| Posted: Feb 05 2008 at 10:52am | IP Logged
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I know exactly what you're talking about! My boys often have the same, ummm, discussion. 
I don't have an answer. I wish we would have just started with ONE box for Legos.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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Paula in MN
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| Posted: Feb 05 2008 at 10:56am | IP Logged
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Several years ago the kids were each given the same Lego set. I anticipated this problem, so I got out a big plastic container (with lid) and immediately dumped all the parts into it, along with some other pieces we had laying around. I know there are more than two types of each Lego piece in there, and so do the kids. I have also done this with Lincoln Logs and Tinkertoys and we haven't had an issue.
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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mellyrose
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| Posted: Feb 05 2008 at 11:40am | IP Logged
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All the building toys (Legos, Kid K'Nex, K'Nex, tinkertoys, wooden blocks, keva blocks, etc.!) are community property. They may individually receive a set as a gift, but that set is quickly incorporated into the community box (or boxes - we have 3 Lego boxes currently).
It worked well when there was a playroom, since everything stayed in there. Now that the boys no longer share a bedroom, and the playroom is gone -- I simply split the building blocks between the 2 rooms. So, Colin has the Legos and smaller k'nex, Nate has the Kid K'nex, tinkertoys and keva blocks. They play together or separately, but there is no "mine".
In fact, there are very few toys that belong to just one boy. The only thing I can think of are stuffed animals, and the items in their treasure drawers. Playmobil, dinosaurs, plastic animals, rescue heroes, etc. are all community property in our house.
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Melanie in AZ
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Stephanie_Q
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A rule I've been working on, here, is that if it is "special" to you, you need to treat it that way. Perhaps if a "special piece" ends up in the community box, then it becomes community property. No fighting about any "community" pieces or the Legos get put away. If they feel like too many of their "special" pieces have ended up in the community box, then they could follow the package directions in order to reclaim the pieces that are missing from their sets...then they have a chance to take care of their "special" pieces again.
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Becky Parker
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We handle Legos the same way Paula does. My boys also collect the Schleich Knights. I used to put their initials on each knight's foot so they would know whose was whose. Not any more. Now they go into the community knight box and the boys just have to share.
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Becky
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Bridget
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| Posted: Feb 05 2008 at 1:26pm | IP Logged
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All our legos are community legos. If you get a piece first, it's yours till your done playing. I have heard them give up a piece to one another sometimes. If there is a disagreement, fair or not, hierarchy rules. They seem to defer to each other according to age.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Feb 05 2008 at 1:59pm | IP Logged
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Yep, we're a community lego family too.. now to just get all the legos back into the box  we just have the bigger duplos (all the kids like building big and tall so figured no point in giving myself a headache with smaller legos that aren't safe around the littles)
But that means that the 1 and 3 yr olds may "help" and there are legos everywhere at times
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SimplyMom
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| Posted: Feb 05 2008 at 2:52pm | IP Logged
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We let them keep gift legos as "their's" for about one month. Then they go into the community box. Also if I pick them up they are in the community from that point on.
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stefoodie
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| Posted: Feb 05 2008 at 6:24pm | IP Logged
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Excellent ideas, everyone! I'm printing it out for discussion with dh, then maybe our "final answers" put to a vote at the dinner table. You guys are wonderful!! Thank you so much!!
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stef
mom to five
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Fe2h2o
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| Posted: Feb 05 2008 at 11:39pm | IP Logged
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I just wanted to say thanks for this discussion:-)
My brother had legos growing up (he's the youngest), but my sister and I weren't really interested by that stage. DH is an only child. Puggle is starting to get some bits and pieces, and I hadn't thought about _these_ aspects of storage:-)
I've picked up a few pointers for future ways of managing:-)
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Mary K
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| Posted: Feb 06 2008 at 7:30am | IP Logged
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We are a community and historical (we have the legos that belonged to me and my brothers) lego family. My lego users will sometimes barter for the pieces they want with the legos they have near them.
Mary-NY
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: Feb 06 2008 at 8:17am | IP Logged
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We have always practiced the community property rule with most toys in our home, with rare exception if a gift is very unique or special to the recipient. Most building toys, games, puzzles are shared by all. If serious conflict erupts over the use of such toys then Mom has the "privilege" of confiscating said toys, rather than being forced to act as referee...I've jokingly told my children I just would NOT look good in black and white stripes :) Establishing a family rule about possession and use of toys, etc. prevents many conflicts and more importantly fosters the idea of sharing with all, similar to the apostles and disciples. We have far fewer conflicts because sharing is understood from an early age.
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CAgirl4God
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we have three kids who receive/buy sets or small toys like Legos.
and within our legos, we have Star Wars, Pirates, city sets, Bionicles and what have you... lol
I have let the kids keep a 'set' they receive in a smaller separate container for a while... but then it gets put in with the rest..
we just went through sorting our the legos four weeks ago.
now we have three boxes...
one very large pirate box (all things piratey go in there)
on smaller start wars box
a huge bionicle box
and one other box...
they are all community property lol.
they get stored according to where it fits and works best for playing...
ie: none get stored in the youngest (3) room because she destroys them... so my #3 who shares that room goes into another room to play with those sets... the bionicles are stored in dd #2's room cause that massive box fits under her bed... etc...
for christmas we just bought these cool sorting boxes from Lego.com. and the kids have separated all there small parts into to for easy building/finding.
that has also helped with clean up....
good luck
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cathhomeschool
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We have tons of legos and four boys. Legos (and almost all other toys) are community property, even if a set has been given to one child for Christmas or birthday. That being said, each child does make his own creations and has piles of legos that are "his" for a time. I just asked my oldest what they do if there is disagreement over a special piece (because I rarely hear arguements over it). He said that, if 2 of them think that a piece is/should be theirs, then one boy gets the piece but has to give to the other boy an equally special piece from his own "pile." Sometimes it also happens that one child wants to build a lego set according to the instructions, but some of the specialty pieces are being used in one of the other boys' creations. In that case, the child using the specialty piece tries to come up with a creative substitute from the lego pile so that the child using the instructions can have the correct piece. Once a child has built his own creation with legos, that creation is usually "his" (though he lets brothers use it. They just can't take it apart.) until he wants to take it apart. We have some creations that have been around for 3 years! Others last a few weeks or less.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: We are stumped
