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NavyMom
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| Posted: Jan 22 2008 at 7:38pm | IP Logged
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I am wondering how many hours a 4 or 5 year old need on average per day?
We no longer do naps, so I usually do a 7 PM bedtime. But latley everyone seems to be waking up at 5 or 6. I am wondering if I need to make bedtime later? Or could I possibly train my kids to stay in their bed until 7 am? Is that too much to ask?
I just like to have at least 30 minutes to myself before they wake up and I am not going to start waking up at 430!
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Jan 22 2008 at 7:55pm | IP Logged
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Hmmm. 7pm sounds a bit early to me. Lets see. My 4 and 6 yo kiddos go to bed around 8:30 or 9 and wake up around 7-7:30.
The 2 yo doesn't go to bed until 10 or 11. He is a night owl like me. He wakes up around 8am. But he also naps for a couple of hours each afternoon.
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JSchaaf
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For what it's worth--My 8 and 7yo's go at 8:45, the 5yo goes at 8:15 and the 16month old goes at 7:30. Everyone sleeps straight through (Thank you, Lord!!) until 7am.
Jennifer
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folklaur
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| Posted: Jan 22 2008 at 8:25pm | IP Logged
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my 5 & 9 year old go into bed about 8pm, but can look at books, listen to music (the Rosary for children, something like that), until between 8:30-9 (usually 9).
9 year old is often up first, and usually by 6:30, 7am at the latest. He tends to wake up the others....
If dd5 is to lay down, around say 3pm, she WILL fall asleep, but she will also be up until 11pm....
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KellyJ
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Our 4.5 yo gets up around the time you mentioned and goes to bed at 7 also. He and the younger one have to stay in bed till 6, unless expressly given permission otherwise. Naps are from 10-12 daily. He usually does nap. There are times when he doesn't fall asleep, but he still has to stay in bed and keep quiet.
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mellyrose
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| Posted: Jan 22 2008 at 8:45pm | IP Logged
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My 5 & 7 year old go to bed between 8:30 and 9:30 and usually wake 12 hours later. No naps, and they haven't napped for a few years now.
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NavyMom
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| Posted: Jan 22 2008 at 9:45pm | IP Logged
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KellyJ wrote:
| Our 4.5 yo gets up around the time you mentioned and goes to bed at 7 also. He and the younger one have to stay in bed till 6, unless expressly given permission otherwise. Naps are from 10-12 daily. He usually does nap. There are times when he doesn't fall asleep, but he still has to stay in bed and keep quiet. |
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How do you get them to do this?
What if they pull the "I'm hungry and thirsty" card?
I am seriously thinking of leaving a little drink and snack in thier rooms for their so they can nibble in their bed when they wake up so early.
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momtimesfour
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| Posted: Jan 22 2008 at 11:13pm | IP Logged
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Every kiddo is different, but here's what our kids do:
12yo - lights out at 9pm, sleeps until about 7 or 8am (he wakes up and reads and just has some quiet time, so I'm not sure how early he gets up)
7yo - lights out at 8:30pm, sleeps until about 7am
3yo - no nap  , goes to bed at 6:30pm, sleeps until about 7am
1yo - lights out at 7pm, sleeps until 7am, takes 2 2-2.5hr naps (the girl likes to sleep!)
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CAgirl4God
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| Posted: Jan 23 2008 at 5:55am | IP Logged
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3 yr old ... bed from 7:30 (no nap) to 8:30 (with nap). Sleeps until 7 or 8. but does occassionally get woken up by daddy's alarm.
7 yr old.... bed before 9 up when others get up. like right now it is 7:45 and she is up.
8 yr old.... bed before 9 most days up around 8. but sometimes daddy's alarm gets her too lol.
11 yr old (ds) bed when I hold him down and make him sleep LOL... around 9 and up when I drag him out of bed. ..he must think he is 15 or something LOL.
usually he is up, showered and dressed by 8:30 ready for breakfast.
I am a night owl. most of the kids would like to be.
If they get up to early, I just tell them to go back to bed or crawl in next to me. they do it most days... and the others??? I pop in a video for them. while I take a shower or do what I need to do.
good luck
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graciefaith
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My 5yo and 6yo go to bed anywhere between 7-8pm on dh's working days. On his off days, they go to bed 8-9pm or even later. No matter what time they go to bed, they wake up between 6-7am. Now that i get up early(6am), they wont sleep in. Before, they would climb into bed with me and sleep in with me until 8-9am but now they wont do that on their own. If im up, they're up. I dont think 7pm is too early for that age range but i personally would not be able to make my dc stay in bed til a certain time without becoming very loud and asking, every few minutes, when they can come out. They share a room/bed though so that probably makes a difference.
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mathmama
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My 3yo gave up naps when she was 2. She is asleep anywhere from 6 to 8, but everyone is happier the closer it is to 6. She is up at 6AM like clockwork. She is very sensitive to changes in our schedule and is thrown for quite a loop if she doesn't get enough sleep.
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Betsy
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NavyMom wrote:
What if they pull the "I'm hungry and thirsty" card?
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We almost always have a water bottle in our kids room. I haven't done the food...I like the keep that in the kitchen. However, their is food they can get at in the kitchen if they wake up really early (crackers, peanut butter, carrots, etc)
Betsy
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stacykay
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Can I ask for those whose dc go to bed early, when do your dhs' come home? Also, do you alter the schedule in the summer?
Thanks!
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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mathmama
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My DH gets home at different times because his teaching schedule is different on different days. The latest he comes home is about 5:15 or so. On those nights, DD doesn't get to bed as early as I would like. To try to get her into bed as early as possible, I try not to cook on the days that he gets home later. This way, if the afternoon is bad and the baby won't let me cook, I don't have to wait until DH gets home to get dinner going. I know this isn't possible for everyone, because with larger families I am sure there are not many leftovers. With just the 3 of us eating table food, I only need to cook about 3-4 times a week.
Beth
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NavyMom
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stacykay wrote:
Can I ask for those whose dc go to bed early, when do your dhs' come home? Also, do you alter the schedule in the summer?
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My husband's schedule is unpredictable and my kids need predictability. I need to put them to bed at the same time every night, give or take, or we are all misreble. Some nights they do not see him. But we make the most of the time we do all have together. Weekends, holidays, etc...Also, sometimes my husband goes in late or comes home for lunch, so it all works out good enough. I did just start a bedtime tea. So we eat, do pajammas, showers, etc...and then have tea and stories/prayers and a snack right before bed. So sometimes if my husband can not join us for dinner, he can at least be there for tea.
Sometimes, on a weekend or holiday, I am flexible and they stay up late. But they still get up at the same early hour, no matter what!
I have altered it a bit in the summers and usually regret it. Now that they are getting older, I will probably let them stay up later in the summer. In Florida I have had to be flexible in the peak of summer because it does not cool down enoughto go outside until 7 PM! We spend a month in Michigan every summer and I usually end up letting them stay up a little later there too. But late for us is 830 or so...
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CAgirl4God
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most times I try to stick to whatever me and the kids are doing, and let dh fit into that schedule... sometimes he isn't home until late. others not at all. LOL
dinner is that same time each night, with or with out dh...
in the summer the kids stay up later... but they sleep in longer too LOL.
it stay slight here to around 9:00... so it makes it a bit harder for the kids...
we do movie nights sometimes though... or play hide and seek or BBQ late on a weekend outside...
but for the norm, it is as above...
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Maryan
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stacykay wrote:
| Can I ask for those whose dc go to bed early, when do your dhs' come home? Also, do you alter the schedule in the summer? |
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FWIW -- here's our routine!
In the winter my dh coaches basketball and gets home late, so we do early bedtimes since they won't see him anyway. He doesn't leave until 8 am, so most of them get a full hour of breakfast bonding. In summer the kids play with Dad until the sun goes down, so go to bed at 9 pm and wake up at the same time as they do in the winter??  Can't figure that out. Maybe the cold and lack of sun requires more sleep??
Winter schedule:
6 yo.: in bed at 7/7:30 pm -- wakes at 6:30 am
4 1/2 yo.: in bed at 7/7:30 pm -- wakes at 7:30 am
almost 3 yo.: in bed at 7/7:30 pm -- wakes at 7 am
16 mo.: in bed at 7 pm -- wakes many times and finally at 7 am * he takes one two hour or one hour nap in day
Newborn... well, you know the routine!! 
Summer schedule when Dad is home:
PJs on at 8 pm, wrestle and read with Dad until 9 pm -- wake up times and naps are the same (with occasional naps for everyone).
I agree every kid is different. We have two good sleepers in the family: Dad and 4 1/2 yo.-- everyone else takes after no sleep Mom. 
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Barbara C.
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My five-year-old normally falls asleep around 10:00, and if she doesn't wake up on her own, I wake her up at 9:30. That's a little less than 12 hours. She hasn't done a nap (unless sick) since she was 2 1/2.
My 2-year-old used to nap from about three to five every afternoon and stay-up with me until about eleven at night. Then she would wake up around eight. After she turned two though something changed. It was a fight to get her down for a nap or bedtime. When she would finally fall asleep for her nap, then she would sleep too late into the evening. So I pretty much cut out regular nap time, and after we do big sister's bedtime routine, we have our own short routine. Most nights she's asleep by 10:15, and she wakes up between 9:00 and 9:30. Sometimes she's dose off on the couch or in her car seat, but I don't let her sleep too long.
Last summer we had a real problem with my older daughter being awakened at 7:30 by the sun glaring in her room, despite the blinds. After about a week of that, I took a navy blue sheet (folded over) and pinned it up over her window. Now her room is like cave, and she sleeps much better during the summer. I also think it helps keep out the cold during the winter.
I had a chart copied out of The No-Cry Sleep Solution, but I can't find it. I want to say the average sleep range for five-year-olds was 11 1/2 to 12 1/2 hours (nighttime + naps).
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stacykay
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Back to the initial question about 4 yos and sleep-
I did google it and one number that was given was 11-12 hours a night, which it seems your little one is getting? Many articles also stated that needs vary widely. Back when my oldest was a babe, I wrote down every second he slept, every day, for two weeks. I took that sheet to the doctors, and, between yawns, asked the doc what was wrong with ds, as he only slept a total of 10 hours a day! I thought babies were supposed to sleep most of the time. He was quite kind and said that "it's a bell curve, and Matt just falls on the shorter side, still normal, but not as much as the average baby. He will probably always be like this." And he was right. Oldest ds is an early riser and can stay up late, and can function normally without getting crabby.
My younger dss' schedules:
12 yo ds - bed at 10 and up at 7 or 8.
9 yo ds - bed at 10 and up at 8.
6 yo ds - bed at 9:30 and up at 9.
3 yo ds - bed at 10:30  and up at 9:30 or 10. He naps sometimes (usually only if we are out in the car after lunchtime.) He could use more sleep.
My question about dh schedules and such was because from Jan. to May, my dh is gone by 5am and home after 9 or 10pm. He works until 4 or 5 on Sat., and no work on Sunday, but he usually falls asleep on the couch after church. In my efforts to help my dc see their dad, their bedtimes are all over the map. I do not like that they get up so late, so I need to come up with something more reasonable and stick with it. Maybe I can take them to dh's office and have lunch with him once a week so they can see more of him.
Oh, also, Heidi, where do you go in MI during the summer? We usually travel to FL in the summer to see my dad (I know, nuts!) but it is the only free time we have, and it's only for a week.
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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NavyMom
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Stacy-
I sent you a PM about Michigan.
I say meeting him for lunch is a great choice Jan-May and then just make the most of Sat. night and Sun. Otherwise, I'd stick to my routine. We have weeks where the kids do not see dad at all. This week he is gone all week (Tues-late Fri) but sometimes even when he is here it feels to them like he is gone. Just make the most of the time you have, and you have Sunday thats all that really matters! Plan a real fun day- no work, a nice meal, a memorable outing and go to Mass. And Sat. night could be movie night as a family.
Thanks everyone for your replies. I think I am going to try to move our bedtime back to 8 with efforts to get them to sleep until 7. I guess 11 hours is our range. I think my daughter could go longer, but they share a room...
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Sleep requirements
