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Caroline
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| Posted: Jan 14 2008 at 1:17pm | IP Logged
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Please give me your tips! I am expecting #3 in September. My boys will be 4.5 and 21 months when this one is born. I am a little anxious about handling it all. So, please give me advice and ease my crazy, hormonal mind. 
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Devoted Wife to  and Mama to three beautiful boys and another little boy due in September , and two beautiful souls in heaven
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Lara Sauer
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| Posted: Jan 14 2008 at 2:34pm | IP Logged
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My third came when my oldest was 5 and my second was 3, so pretty close to your scenario. They were also both boys! When my third came along, my husband was working full-time and attending his final year in law school, so I was pretty much on my own!
I had a couple of rules that I followed that allowed me to keep my sanity: These are listed in no particular order!
1.) I never let my children make a bigger mess than I was willing to clean up! (My oldest is now 15 and I still follow this rule: our house is a NO PLAY-DOH ZONE!)
2.) If it is dark, it is bed time. Children this young can't read the clock, so use that to your advantage!
3.) A bath before bedtime will soothe the savage beast!
4.) You can read just as well laying down as sitting up. As Dr. Suess famously once said, (and I paraphrase) you might even be able to read "with your eyes shut!
5.) My children napped until the age of 5! I allowed my oldest to watch a quiet movie while I slept for 45 minutes.
6.) Join a mother's group that is stimulating to your brain. I was part of a group and we would read encyclicals and other books that required deep conversation.
7.) LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your children...hug them, kiss them, snuggle them, throw them in the air. In other words: ENJOY THIS TIME OF YOUR LIFE. Try and see your world through their eyes. Everything is wonderful and fresh and new and exciting. Slide down the slide...you know you want to!
8.) Train your child to hearken to your voice. Disciplined children are happy children. A happy mother has well disciplined children. Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no: THE FIRST TIME!
9.) Have some quiet time that you reserve for your husband alone. 15 minutes before you expect him, quiet the kids, tidy up the first room he sees and put on some lipstick and a smile on your face to great him. Sit on the couch with him and when the kids come and ask to join you, say this is "mommy/daddy" time. When you treat your husband like a king, he will treat you like his queen.
10.) Carve out some time for yourself as well: Time for mental prayer, spiritual reading and physical exercise. Get dressed everyday and wear make-up. If you feel pretty you will act "pretty!"
My prayers are with you. You don't know it and can't really appreciate it, but this time in your life is BEAUTIFUL! You have so few worries. All around you is innocence and joy. Really, you are surrounded by saints (granted, they are concupicent saints, saints who need to be tweaked aroung the edges, saints who need to be trained to "hearken to your voice" to be sure!) Don't listen to the world when they tell you, "Boy, do you ever have your hands full...instead smile at them and say, "Not my hands, but my heart!"
Peace!
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You can take the girl out of Wisconsin, but you can't take the Wisconsin out of the girl!
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Helen
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| Posted: Jan 14 2008 at 2:43pm | IP Logged
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What a lovely post Laura, thank you!
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Ave Maria!
Mom to 5 girls and 3 boys
Mary Vitamin & Castle of the Immaculate
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 14 2008 at 8:01pm | IP Logged
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My oldest was 3 yr 1 mo when my third was born.
Just some variations on what Lara said.
Baths - they aren't just for bedtime!! Just about any time you need to change a mood in your house, a bath will do it.. it's just such a change that it can change the whole attitude of a small child.
Along with training your children... yes train them.. but it also means you can GO PLACES with your children. There were days when being able to get us all out of the house.. even if we just walked around the mall looking at the window displays (not going in shops) made such a huge difference.. made all the difference between grumpy children and grumpy mom.
Bedtime - along with being able to put them to bed early.. I prefered actually keeping them up later.. I set them to *MY* preferred sleep schedule which if I put my kids to bed at dark (except mid-summer) that they'd be up before the birds in the morning. Adjust it to what you need.. You might even find that putting them to bed but then letting them keep the light on to look at books or play with little toys IN BED.. will give you a bit more of a breather. So anyway.. look at the amount of time your children sleep.. some can not sleep more than that.. and so if they sleep 12 hours and you don't want them bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6am.. don't put them to bed to sleep until 7 or 8... but I found that I could put them to bed letting them have the light if they followed the rules (in bed and quiet.. if they didn't, no light) would give me that extra time and not make me get up extra early.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 14 2008 at 8:08pm | IP Logged
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oh and lots of ways to physically control the kids helped.
stroller in some situations
but also I carry the baby in a sling (you can chase toddlers and not leave a baby stuck to a cart)
and I have the harness with leash on me until they're well trained to stay with me while we're out.
Here's the neat thing.
I could go to the grocery store and start with the older kids walking with me.. and if they strayed or ran or weren't following direction.. rather htan having to leave (after all the trouble of getting there and perhaps even being almost done) I had some choices.. I could put them in a cart (some won't sit for that) or I could pull out the harness with leash... after following through at least once.. just the threat of it could make them remember to "toe the line"
But the big thing for me was.. I didn't have to leave the store to use an effective form of discipline.. because it took a lot of effort for me to get myself and all the littles there.. and it's much nicer imo to be able to take them.. which means they need training and practise than it is to always have to wait until your dh is home.. and my dh traveled for work and so might not be home for weeks.. which is really hard to not go to the grocery store for the duration 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Fe2h2o
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| Posted: Jan 15 2008 at 12:36am | IP Logged
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Just wanted to say that I'll be watching this post with interest:-) Mine will be almost exactly the same (all being well! ... 23 mo girl intsead of 21mo boy:-) )—and September too:-)
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Mama to Puggle (ds 05/04), Bilby (dd 10/06) and Cygnet (ds 09/08)
The Genial Hearth
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ladycarobe
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| Posted: Jan 15 2008 at 2:04am | IP Logged
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I'm also reading with interest. If all goes well, I will be having a 4,5yo , a 24mo and a baby in august. 
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Rachel May
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For us, #3 came along when the older 2 were 21 months, #4 when #3 was 21 mo and the boys were 3.5, #5 when #4 was 21 months, #3 was 3.5 and the boys were just 5...can you see the pattern?
Anyway, I felt like we turned a corner once the oldest were 3 as they could help with making lunch. And again when #6 was in the oven (the oldest were 6) and the olders helped with small chores to take some of the physical burden off of me. I like to think of mothering a lot of kids close together as a marathon...it's about pacing. 
This:
JodieLyn wrote:
| Baths - they aren't just for bedtime!! |
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gave me a good laugh. For years my kids were only allowed to eat popcicles and ice cream on a stick in the bathtub.
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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CAgirl4God
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| Posted: Jan 15 2008 at 9:16am | IP Logged
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good ideas!
when #3 was born.. I had a 4 yr old and a 1 yr old.
I tried to get us out of the house each day.
sometimes it was just to the little park nearby to swing and run. sometimes it was in our own yard playing in the sand box etc... in the summer we would go to the beach and the pool.
once every two weeks we would go to the zoo. and once a month we would go on a drive/picnic. it got me out of the house and I got to drive (which I love to do) and see the local scenery etc...
with dh being gone a lot during that time (military) I did everything with the kids... everything! lol. a baby carrier and a double jogging stroller were my best friends! if I had known how easy a sling was I would have had that too.
we had bath time each night..it set a routine for them each night.
I played on the floor a lot with them lol. just sat or laid down and hung out with them.
I remember many days were just about getting through the basics lol for them and me. but some days it was pure joy!
you will get the hang of it...prayers
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Moms of many littles and no bigs
