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Pamin OZ
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| Posted: Jan 03 2008 at 6:23am | IP Logged
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I don't have a big family- only four children- but they are spaced apart like a big family: fourteen, eleven, two and 3 months.
I am really trying to s l o w down and enjoy these littlies because I truly know how fast it will go. And they are pretty easy to enjoy!
My older two are fantastic boys. Just terrific. But sometimes (often?) I feel like I am connecting ok with the littlies but failing to connect with them except in the practical realm- schooling, jobs etc etc
Not that we don't talk at all. But so much of my time is siphoned off by the two cute little girls.
I'm not totally clueless as to what I can do but I'm positive many people have trod this road before me and have wisdom to share.
Please?
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Pam in Sydney
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/paminoz/
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Jan 03 2008 at 7:47am | IP Logged
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Hugs. Pats on the back.
Read-alouds they'll really enjoy.
Field trips to places they like (my ds loves aircraft observation areas...aviation museums...etc.).
Hands-on school projects (my son loves to build things, and we recently did toothpick-and-gumdrop construction) and TIME to work on them. Photos preserve the memory of these projects long after they're gone.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Macmom
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| Posted: Jan 03 2008 at 1:45pm | IP Logged
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Great book for parents-
"How to Really Love Your Teenager"
It's really helped me! :-) It's good for "tweenagers" (not quite teens) too.
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Catholic family life works on the same principle as a washing machine- clothes get clean by agitation.
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Zeliemum
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For time together I take my older dc's shopping with me. When I go on my weekly shop they take it in turns to have some Mum time each week. We will have lunch somewhere maybe go to a second-hand bookshop together or op shop. Or if we are at home have a game of backgammon together, watch a movie.
The older girls and boys help with the baby where they can so they feel like they are involved and not isolated from me. They will rock him, give him lots of cuddles. They also help and are involved with the 3 & 5 year olds, reading to them and helping them where they can, include them in some of their games. It helps with the unity of all the ages if the older ones can take on one of the younger ones in activities or just help them with day to day things - not to overburden the older ones but for them to be involved with the littlies helps them to see the value in Gods plan for a big family (unity) or not so big family. Just a nice balance.
( I hope this makes sense)
Just a couple of simple ideas.
God Bless
Chemai 
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Mother to seven with five in heaven...Spiritualmotherhood for Priests
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CAgirl4God
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| Posted: Jan 03 2008 at 10:53pm | IP Logged
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when my last was born my ds felt very disconnected from me. he was 7 and a 'big boy' and able to pretty much take care of himself. on top of that we put the three big kids in school that next yr.
after a time he came to me and told me how he felt.
since then we have gone back to our bed time routine...
I put all the girl in bed first. then I sit with him in his room and let him talk. we have the greatest conversations. I can devote a half hour of undivided attention to him each night.
I also like to take the kids with me shopping/running errands. only one at a time. that way they talk and talk to me. lol
we play games. board games, card games, outdoor games.
all the kid's fav. is one that is fast, but only for two players. that way we can play a couple of times, and they have time with me, but it doesn't take either of us away form what else needs to be done or tended to.
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Maddie
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| Posted: Jan 04 2008 at 12:32am | IP Logged
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I have a 16, 15, and 12 yo. After my little guys go to bed we stay up together for another 2 hours or so doing school work together in the living room, reading out loud(Father Brown mysteries were fun), plan our garden or next farm/house project, watch a movie, or just plain talk. Sometimes they help me put school stuff together or prepare for an outing the next day, whatever. We have also played a board game but I'm not much of a board game fan.
We usually keep the laundry going or some other chore but that time is our time together, I have really been enjoying them! They were out sledding the other night until after midnight and I had hot cocoa waiting for them when they came in. We just talked afterwards and hung out together, these are my golden years.
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~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
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LucyP
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| Posted: Jan 04 2008 at 10:18am | IP Logged
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I can't speak from experience as a mother, Pam, because my little blessings are 4 and 8 months, but as a daughter I SOOOOOOO wish my parents had invested time in cuddling me, reading to and with me, sharing things like both learning a totally new skill together (watercolour, woodwork, astronomy), in loving me physically really even when I was older - giving me a manicure, brushing my hair.
I am 33 and I have an emotional connection with my mother but we don't seem to do closeness much, and with my dad it is all an act of will on both our parts really.
I said a prayer for you and your big kids!
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Looking for help in loving older kids
