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monica
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| Posted: Dec 20 2007 at 7:53am | IP Logged
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i have a small family, just 2 boys (so far) and the older one is always asking me to play with him. his little brother is at the destroy whatever crosses his path phase, so they cant play together very well yet. we only homeschool for a few hours in the morning, so he has the rest of the day open for playing, but he is often asking me to sit down and play with him. i find myself often saying no so i can get cleaning, cooking, etc done. i feel bad for not playing with him more, but there is always laundry, dishes, chores that need to be done. how do you balance the need to get things done around the house with your child wanting to just sit and play with you?
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dawn2006
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| Posted: Dec 20 2007 at 8:17am | IP Logged
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Something that works well for me is to just sit down on the floor and play with the kids until they toddle away of their own accrod. Then I get up and do whatever I can get done while they're playing alone. It's like they get filled up on mom-love for a bit before tracking you down again. But I do admit having less patience for this when the afternoon gets late and the evening starts b/c I am then REALLY wanting to get some chores done and I'm numbed with paying attention to children. I am working on this, though. 
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Dawn Farias | wife to Ariel | mom to Gabriel 9, Daniel 7, Elizabeth 5, and Michael 3 | blogger at Be Absorbed | native Texan but currently living near Seattle
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: Dec 20 2007 at 9:45am | IP Logged
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I wrote about my sad demise concerning playing recently.
I do try...at times. Yesterday I actually got down on the floor to play two games of a new birthday game Clue---Who Ate the Cake with my girls.
I usually tell mothers to look for their strengths. What do you like to do? Cook? Bake? Read? Do those things with him and you won't feel so bad about not "playing" on a daily basis.
The children need to see us work. I don't think that's a bad thing at all. Perhaps you can sit on the floor together and sort socks. Make that a constructive game. He'll enjoy the conversation with mom more than anything.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: Dec 20 2007 at 12:38pm | IP Logged
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I read one parenting book that made a lot of sense to me. It said to try to set aside about an hour a day to do something with your kid, and then kind of leave them on their own for the rest of the day.
So, I kind of tried to split the session into two half-hour periods that I call "Mommy Time". I try to do one early in the day and one after dinner. My oldest is only five, so sometimes one session will be some formal homeschool stuff. Other times we just play a game together. With my younger, we often read together on the couch.
And like someone else mentioned, sometimes I will try to incorporate her into a chore I am doing. She thinks it's fun to scrub the floors (or skate on the sponge) and bake muffins and mix the velveeta packet into the shells for dinner.
I also try to keep a mental (or written) list of things that she can do to entertain herself: play with toys, look through books, play on the computer, color and draw. And even when younger dd was still very little they could occasionally play together at the younger daughter's level. You might be able to come up with a few activities for your boys to do together unsupervised.
I have found that it is sometimes better to get the "Mommy Time" over with when first approached. My older dd seems more content to entertain herself for a longer period afterwards. And if I can't do it immediately I try to give her a time table (like when the big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is on the one, or "after I do these three things").
Although, my older dd has always demanded a lot of attention and often complains that her father and I don't play with her enough (and so we obviously don't really love her) but that is just part of her spirited temperament (neediness + lots of drama). Some kids will never be satisfied, and it can really be true that the more kids ask for something it means they've had too much already.
I'm also one of those bad parents who have scheduled blocks of television time (as opposed to no tv) and allow a lot of time on the computer.
I wish you luck.
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Barbara
Mom to "spirited" dd(9), "spunky" dd (6), "sincere" dd (3), "sweet" dd (2), and baby girl #5 born 8/1/12!!
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CandaceC
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| Posted: Dec 20 2007 at 3:37pm | IP Logged
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Cay, hi! I happened to notice you posting on the FIAR boards the other day and it hit me it was the same Cay as over here...FIAR is really my first message board home, I have only recently found this board.
Anyway, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here and on your blog! Your words have encouraged me today! It sounds like I am a lot like you! I don't get down and play very often. And at times I do feel very guilty about that! But, your words make sense --- find things you DO love and do those with your children. Now THAT I can do...and often do! Like you, I like to bake and I often let the kids help me. We love reading, baking, and crafts.
You have encouraged me not to feel guilty (why do we do that so often as mothers?) and be myself...what refreshing news. 
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Candace - wife to David since 2000...mommy to Hannah (Feb. 2002), Emily (April 2003) and Caleb (March 2005)
His Mercy Is New
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Topic: playing with kids/ getting things done
