4Real Forums: Deployments

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Topic: Deployments

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Mary Chris
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Joined: Jan 27 2005
Location: Virginia
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Posted: Nov 27 2007 at 10:06am \| IP Logged

I know some of you have been in this situation before. How do you prepare? What are some things you have done to stay close.

Also, I have questions about support groups, what do you do? This is not an established unit but forming just for this mission. Dh thinks there are folks from every state represented and none of us know each other.

I'm not sure what I need.....I am just getting off that river in Egypt...you know da'Nile.........

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Blessings, Mary Chris Beardsley
mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92

Maryan
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Joined: Jan 02 2007
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Posted: Nov 27 2007 at 10:32am \| IP Logged

Oh Mary Chris... no idea, but

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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
A Lee in the Woudes

guitarnan
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Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
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Posted: Nov 27 2007 at 11:34am \| IP Logged

I assume you've already thought of basic things like computer access for both of you (a lifesaver, really...my dh diagnosed car problems online during a cruise).

Perhaps the two of you could go out for dinner or dessert and talk honestly about how much you want/think you'll be able to e-mail. I used to e-mail dh every day, and he was pretty good about responding, but if he were doing an IA in Iraq now, I'm not sure he'd have that kind of time.

Another thing to recognize is that some things are very hard for absent dads to watch. My dh never, ever watched the videos I sent of my dd's crawling and toddling stages; he just couldn't. That's OK...again, honest discussion (without kids to interrupt) helps.

Be sure (practical me!) to have him list all the seasonal car things and house things he'd like you to do. Then, tell him you'll do your best but can't guarantee everything will be done. (Have him list WHERE to get these things done, too, if you don't know.) This includes turning off the water for the winter (outside), emergency procedures (where's the gas main?), when to have the car's oil changed, stuff like that.

Regarding your spouses' group, if they're all over the place, is it an online group? Perhaps the leaders of the group should decide and tell everyone what the group's purpose(s) will be - info only, bulletin boards for various topics, regional social events - ??? - this can go any way the group likes. If everyone's spread out, you'll likely find that everyone needs info from the group but is more likely to find emotional support closer to where they physically live.

I'm with you on the river thing - do PM or call if you want to talk more about all this.

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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.

Mary Chris
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Joined: Jan 27 2005
Location: Virginia
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Posts: 2175

Posted: Nov 27 2007 at 12:07pm \| IP Logged

Part of the support group thing is that I might be the one that makes it happen. We have not been in a real "military community" in 12 years when dh was on a Sub. I don't know what is out there for spouses and what spouses need.

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Blessings, Mary Chris Beardsley
mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92

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