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dollylima
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| Posted: Nov 26 2007 at 3:41pm | IP Logged
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We are expecting a baby in July of 08. I just realized today that while the last time I couldnt wait to get the ball rolling as far as the prenatal care and developing a birth plan, etc, this time I almost dont want to begin prenatal care with a health professional.
I know this sounds awful, but my situation is such that the first time I was pregnant I didnt know it until I was almost out of my first trimester. I went to my regular GYN doctor who is also an OB and saw him and his partners for medical care while I privately planned for my own sort of delivery experience...calm and as natural as possible. Problem was, I really didnt have anyone on my team so to speak, nobody outside the medical model with any experience and wisdom to help me to make my birth experience anything close to what I had envisioned.
My son's birth was so much more medical than I had hoped. It was as if every intervention on the part of the medical team led to three more. I wasnt physically fit enough to labor the way I had hoped to, and ended up after twenty hours of labor (several of those spent in transition, my cervix just wouldnt budge past nine cm's) with an epidural that left me unable to feel my legs or feel the urge to push...then four more hours until we finally resorted to an assisted delivery.
I won't go on and on about what disappointed me about my experience...I am grateful to have had a healthy beautiful baby.
But this time Id like to explore the possibility of home birth or at least use a midwife (one who is not all about the medical model of care) and I dont feel like I have enough information to wisely choose a provider. It doesnt help that Ive been going to a clinic for GYN stuff since I moved eight years ago and dont really know any providers at all in the area I live now (I live in one state and work in another).
So, my question or request is this...Question: if I eat well and take care of myself (i have read extensively about pregnancy and am a nurse) am I being foolish or selfish in putting off getting prenatal care until I find someone I feel comfortable seeing? And does anyone have a similar experience and have any wisdom to share?
I really dont want this experience to be taken away from me and railroaded into another medical delivery.
Oh and I edited this to add...we will most likely be delivering this baby in another country (where they do home births and midwives much more than here, thankfully) but the idea of going so far with providers here and then switching late in the pregnancy also kind of complicates things and scares me a little bit, so anyone who has done that and was happy with their birth experience in the long-run, any happy stories would be appreciated!)
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Heather
instantkiwi
Wife to Tim
Mama to Ian 2/27/00
Mama to MaryElise 7/22/08
Step-mom to Abby, Logan and Luke
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Nov 26 2007 at 5:17pm | IP Logged
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I only have a sec, I'm nursing baby boy, but I have had 8 homebirths now (1st in the hospital) with the same midwife. Her motto is "I don't give prenatal care, prenatal care is what mom gives herself". I only visit my midwife about 4 times during my pregnancies unless something comes up.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Chari
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| Posted: Nov 27 2007 at 12:57am | IP Logged
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Heather.........I am an OB nurse............
Congratulations! 
I only have a few minutes......but, I want to say: at least be seen at about 11-12 weeks so they can get hear the heartbeat.......that helps with your dating later on.
I will try to add more later, if I can.........I am super busy for the next four days.
Blessings!
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Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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vmalott
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| Posted: Nov 27 2007 at 8:49am | IP Logged
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Having gone down a few roads (hospital w/OB, hospital w/CNM, home w/lay MW), I'll try to present you with some pros and cons of each to help you weigh for your decision.
I totally understand where you are as far as not wanting to go down the medical road. First and foremost, you need to get into educating yourself about not only what choices are available to you for prenatal care, but how best to care for and prepare yourself, regardless of your choice in care providers and birth location. The more educated you are, the more you'll be able to make an informed decision.
Early prenatal care has its pros and cons, the biggest benefit being detection of of the baby's heartbeat. That's easily done when one visits an OB or CNM who uses doppler and/or ultrasound. As Chari said, this can help w/dating. However, if you practice NFP and know your cycles, then you know how far along you are anyway. It can be reassuring to hear that heartbeat, especially if you've suffered losses before (I know it was for me).
Most of the cons revolve around prenatal testing, which many people find morally questionable, as many are used to detect certain anomolies to enable an early decision to abort (I am NOT saying people who choose prenatal testing WOULD abort...some have genetic issues that need to be identified, etc....but on the whole, routine prenatal testing is questionable).
Were you to choose care with a lay midwife (LM or DEM) who only uses a fetoscope to hear the baby, then that means you'll be waiting at least a good 16 weeks for that confirmation. It may be by that point in pregnancy that you start to feel movement anyway. A DEM who takes you on early would probably just help educate you on good nutrition and self-care, talk about prior experiences w/pregnancy and birth, and possibly have you get some labs done. She might take your BP.
What is the homebirth climate in your present location? If its favorable, then you might not have trouble establishing a relationship with an OB or nurse-midwife for that "just in case" stuff. I regret not having such a relationship established during my last pregnancy, which ended in a miscarriage at 16 weeks. The midwives I had been seeing in previous pregnancies were no longer practicing, and I was still shopping for a lay midwife. While I was taken care of well at the hospital, it was rather baffling to the ER staff that I didn't have a doctor to contact, etc.
With this current pregnancy, I wasn't sure about where I wanted to birth, but I decided I wanted to at least have some connection w/an OB or a practice of some sort. Having spent my former life as a childbirth educator/doula, I was familiar with a couple of natural birth friendly docs, and decided to meet w/one of them. Believe it or not, I am still w/him and planning on a hospital birth this time (last was at home). His first question to me, after listening to my history, was "Are you planning a homebirth this time?" And we're not in a homebirth-friendly area...but this guy does provide what folks call "shadow care" (getting care from both an OB and a homebirth midwife).
The thing to remember here is that you are the one hiring a care provider, and you have the right to terminate that relationship if it's going in a direction that makes you uncomfortable. Educate yourself on the choices available to you in your area. You can ask around...La Leche League often has the lowdown on which providers are natural birth friendly. You can also search online to see if there are Bradley Method (r) childbirth educators or DONA doulas in the area. These folks can often help you connect w/a care provider.
HTH,
Valerie
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Valerie
Mom to Julia ('94), John ('96), Lizzy ('98), Connor ('01), Drew ('02), Cate ('04), Aidan ('08) and three saints in heaven
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SusanJ
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I didn't have time to read all the responses but just wanted to say that after a C-section with ds I delivered dd at home. I got pretty minimal pre-natal care compared to the standard model. I think I saw my midwife first around 20-22 weeks. Next time I'll probably look early because we'll live someplace new, but if I'd delivered eight babies with the same midwife I'd probably keep the visits to a minimum, too! Just eat well, read up, and listen to your body.
BTW, midwives are very inexpensive. If you want someone to call for problems before you move, you might be able to find a midwife who would meet with you and then charge some minimal fee for questions or visits to address problems. It is important to feel secure during pregnancy.
Susan
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dollylima
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| Posted: Nov 29 2007 at 2:25pm | IP Logged
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Thank you, ladies for your calm and encouraging answers. I decided to postpone the appointment I made with the midwife in Pittsburgh (where I work)until December 10 and contacted a midwife in Western New York who specializes in home births. The only reason I had made an appointment already with the one in Pittsburgh is because my PCP said they "need to see me by eight weeks" because of my age...which turns out to translate to "If you want invasive testing for birth defects you should go now"...which is not what my DH and I wanted anyway.
The insurance thing might be complicated but the midwife in NY seems very much in tune with the kind of care Im looking for and was not at all trying to pressure me into coming in any earlier than I want to. (The place in Pittsburgh was not happy that I didnt want to come in until ten weeks because they "usually want people to come in at six weeks") So, the midwife here in NY is going to be sending me some information about her practice and give me a chance to talk to my DH about it and make some decisions.
Really, just hearing you all confirm that Im not putting my baby at risk or being selfish by just taking care of myself for the first few weeks took a BIG LOAD off my shoulders. Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful replies.
Heather
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Heather
instantkiwi
Wife to Tim
Mama to Ian 2/27/00
Mama to MaryElise 7/22/08
Step-mom to Abby, Logan and Luke
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4Real Forums : Our Lady of Good Remedy and Care
Topic: Calm Pregnancy/Delivery and Prenatal Care
