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LucyP
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| Posted: Nov 21 2007 at 3:05am | IP Logged
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It's one of my vague questions and I know you'll all be busy being thankful - Happy Thanksgiving, ladies!  - but I just got the shock of my life when I sat down and worked out how much I have to spend per person per day on groceries. It works out to £2 pp pd. Dh cut my grocery budget by a 1/4 and then we gained a baby daughter, who with the cost of her formula easily uses up her allocation.
To give you an idea of costs here - 4 pints (80 fl ozs) milk is £1.35, 8oz butter is 75p at the cheapest, bread is at least £1 a loaf. The cheapest mince is £1 for a pound.
I struggle with being cheerful and joyful and not making dh feel he is letting us down by having a low budget. Porridge every single morning is something even I blanch at a little. And I really can't see how to achieve an optimal diet (5 a day, enough protein, wholefoods, plus an element of satisfaction for dh who is a meat man through and through) on my budget so I feel anxious about it.
It is so hard not to sigh when I am planning menus, or get irritated when there isn't anything in the reduced section that we could use - or nag when dh raids my carefully hoarded supply of choc chips, or not to screech hysterically when my son empties out an entire bottle of the special baby bath stuff the baby needs for her skin.
We want more children. We adopt our blessings, and are eagerly asking God for more, but that makes me know that the budget will not ease up any in the future if God grants our request. If I stick to that budget for food, I have about £50pm to use for clothes, shoes, toiltries, laundry products, pet food, homeschool/craft supplies, books, gifts, vet/dentist/optician fees and prescriptions. So the month we go to the vet or the dentist, the whole £50 is gone.
In the UK, the government kindly takes taxes and if you have children gives you some of the tax back as child benefit and child tax credits. That gives me another £100 a month or so, which always goes into bailing me out of the overdraft I run up trying to look after the family. The intention is to save that money for the children when they are older, and for the home education costs ( music lessons, swimming, exam fees etc) so I am really down to the £300 a month from dh.
Please help me with any advice about doing this in a spirit of contentment and joyfulness. I do try. I do assure dh that I am able to work within budget if I try and that money/"stuff" is not important and I am happy to buy second hand (although where we live that is almost impossible) - but the worry and the self-pity seep out around the edges - as you can tell from this long, anxious and self pitying post!
Lucy
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Kathryn UK
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Joined: Feb 27 2005
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| Posted: Nov 21 2007 at 3:24am | IP Logged
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Lucy, I'm not sure whether you know that if you claim child tax credits you can also get a Sure Start maternity grant of £500 for a new baby, including adopted babies. I believe you have to claim within a certain period of the adoption.
Ah ... here are the details. You have to be receiving child tax credits at greater than the basic family rate and claim within 3 months of the adoption. You should also get child tax credit at a higher rate until baby is 12 months old (which would help to pay for the formula).
If you are not already a member, I would suggest joining your local Freecycle group. These are set up so that people can give away unwanted items rather than dump them - all sorts of things come up, including baby equipment and clothes. Also check out your local NCT (National Childbirth Trust). Many branches run nearly new sales where you can get good used items very cheaply. Playgroups often do the same, so look out for adverts in the local press.
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Kathryn
Dh Michael,  Rachel(3/95) Hannah(8/98) Naomi(6/06)  (11/07)
The Bookworm
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Rachel May
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| Posted: Nov 21 2007 at 7:49am | IP Logged
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This is more emotional rather than practical help but...I always love reading Little Women when I am down about the budget. In Good Wives (I think now it's usually included as the second half of Little Women) there is a part about Meg struggling the same way that we do, and a little about how she conquers herself. It always makes me realize how blessed I am, and I recommit myself to not getting down about the budget. Good luck!
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: Nov 21 2007 at 1:48pm | IP Logged
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I really empathize with where you are coming from. Our finances are always tight. We were doing ok for awhile, but then we bought a townhome last year and our debt and expenses rose drastically while we lost most of our savings. Now we just found out that his college will no longer be giving us the option next year of having 20 pay periods instead of 26. It's the same amount of money over all, but instead of 9 months of plenty and 3 months of lean (over the summer) we'll have 9 months of lean and 3 months of plenty. At this rate we'll be short $300 every month of those nine. And did I mention that we just had to trade in our paid-off car for a mini-van to have room for a third car seat? At least the payment is not outrageous.
My point is that we really have to slash our budget, too. I've looked around a little on the internet, and I'm starting to read the Tightwad Gazette looking for ideas. I'm going to start by trying little things like trying to cut our energy bills. I turned down the water heater a little bit. I'm really going to work on turning off lights in unused rooms, turning the power off completely or unplugging things that still use energy in "sleep mode", using a drying rack to cut down on dryer loads, and continuing to do full loads in the washer and dishwasher.
I've asked grandparents to cut down on the number of toys that they give for birthdays, christmas, etc. and instead get gift cards for lessons or specify to the child that they are giving them money for their special classes. I also put educational supplies on gift wish lists. (My mom's friend always wants to get the kids stuff, so I give her a list of all the craft supplies we need.)
Like so many, though, our food budget could really use the biggest slash. I've tried planning out a weekly menu, and that has helped some. I came across a website the other day that talked about the Pantry Principle. This website isn't the one I originally looked at (it may be better) but it discusses about the method and making a price comparison book: http://preparedness.families.com/blog/the-pantry-principle-i n-food-storage
The idea is that you keep a price comparison book of different stores and pay attention to cyclical sales. Then you buy large amounts of something when it is really cheap and you use what you have in your pantry. For instance, every so often one of our groceries sells Hamburger Helper for a $1 a box, so I would need to stock up on it while it is cheap. Our biggest problem with buying in bulk has been our lack of storage space, so I'm hoping to put some cheap shelves in the garage to store toilet paper and non-spoil commodities.
Right now I'm working on my price book. I currently have two main grocery stores that I alternate between, but I'm going to try to pay better attention to the deals they have. I'm also going to check out some other places that might have better deals.
And maybe you could sit down with your husband and see if there is something else in the budget that can be slashed to give more to the food and expenditures. He just may not realize how much things like formula cost, or all that meat. You may need to discern whether you are really having a problem sticking to your budget due to lack of effort or because it is an unrealistic budget.
I hope some of this helps. I wish you luck. Wish me luck, too, please!!
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Barbara
Mom to "spirited" dd(9), "spunky" dd (6), "sincere" dd (3), "sweet" dd (2), and baby girl #5 born 8/1/12!!
Box of Chocolates
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doris
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| Posted: Nov 21 2007 at 5:18pm | IP Logged
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Sympathies, Lucy.
Martin Lewis has a good weekly email with lots of moneysaving tips. Sign up here. It's also worth checking his book out of the library for a more in-depth look at saving money on things.
As for what you are actually asking about -- joyfulness! -- maybe a novena to a relevant saint would help? Rosary novena? Novena to St Joseph? I can't imagine the Holy Family was wealthy!
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
Frabjous Days
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: joyful budget help?
