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Leocea
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| Posted: Nov 02 2007 at 7:43pm | IP Logged
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I am in the process of discerning whether to join Regnum Christi or not. I have attended an evening information meeting, and have quite a few friends and aquaintances that are members.
I am just so unsure if I have the time to commit to this. It sounds like a wonderful movement, and the testimonies from others are so moving. I feel like it would really bring me closer to Christ, and give me more peace in my life.
I have a 1 1/2 year-old that is still nursing, and probably will be for some time. My other three were 3-4 when they weaned. I do not know if I can join without going on the retreat first, but I am going to find out the details soon. I feel torn between going and my toddler's needs, which are very real. I was told I could bring her, but what about next year, when she is 2 1/2? I have been getting some subtle, nice-meaning pressure to leave her. Comments like" Once you leave her, she'll be more used to it next time." This may be true, but 48 hours is just too long for us!
My son watched her for about 6 1/2 hours today , while we went to High School Musical on Ice with our middle girls. She was fussy, but fine after a while. The big problem is when I come home. She is whiny, clingy, and hasn't slept. This can go on for a few *days* after I have only left her for 6 hours or so. It is obviously bothering her. Not to mention that I am full and need to nurse her!
I guess I am hoping that some of you could give me your advice. I try not to have activities at night away from my home. It is not a fit with our family, my husband prefers me at home with him at night, and it makes the next day go really bad with the children! This is really hard to get people to accept, it seems!
I do sometimes go to things at night, of course, when it is necessary, we just prefer that our activites are mostly daytime activities.
Would any of you share how you have fit Regnum Christi, or even another similar apostolate and its various meetings/retreats, into your family life when you have little ones?
Your advice is always so helpful!
In Christ,
Leocea
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nutmeg
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| Posted: Nov 02 2007 at 8:55pm | IP Logged
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Leocea, I have heard some very wonderful things about Regnum Christi, and some very not-so-wonderful things.
I really think it is up to the family to decide how much time is reasonable for a mom to devote to an apostolate. Every mom has different spiritual, physical and emotional needs, and likewise, every family dynamic is different. 6 hours seems like an awfully long time for a nursing mom to be away from her baby... (ouch!  ) But again, every once in a while it may be a good and necessary thing. Moms need a break too, no? 
You'll be in my prayers as you pray and discern about this opportunity for you and your family.
Blessings...
__________________
Wife to Andrew
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cvbmom
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Personally, my kids come first. They are my apostolate, given to me by God. If something can't accommodate their needs (especially a nursing baby!!), it's not for me, no matter how wonderful it seems.
God bless,
Christine
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Leocea
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| Posted: Nov 02 2007 at 10:27pm | IP Logged
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I should make it clear that they did say I could take my daughter with me on retreat. I was also told by a couple of people that I probably won't get as much out of it, and that it would be better to leave her home. I just can't decide if it is better to go and get less benefit, or stay at home altogether.
I need to speak with the local team Leader, and ask if the Spiritual Exercise is even mandatory to join. I am sure it is beneficial, but it may not be mandatory.
Thank you for the responses, and to those of you who responded privately also.
I appreciate all of the time you gave to my questions!
This is a very big decision for me, and I want to make the right one.
In Christ,
Leocea
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Erin
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Leocea,
It could well be a wonderful movement, the question though is more of timing, is this the right time for you? There are seasons for all things and as you have asked... well your vocation at the moment is to be the best wife and mother you can. From what you are saying you don't have peace, it is causing disruption in your life, and I would be particularly guided by your husband's take. If he is not happy then there's your answer.
There are many other ways that you can become closer to God, that are doable from your own home. I have struggled with this myself, I have longed to volunteer for Church organisations but I have realised that there is a season for all things and at the moment my time is here at home. I have learnt (the hard way) not to rush into things, to wait and pray and ask my dh too do the same and then give me his advice and input.
Praying for you.
__________________
Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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teachingmyown
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I am RC. I joined many years ago, while pregnant with #4 I think. I have since moved away from my team and am too far from the retreat center to go on retreats. I really miss it. It was hard to make it out once a week for meetings, but it was worth it.
However, over the years, there were times I was more involved and times I was less involved. I have brought nursing babies and toddlers on retreats some years and some years I opted to not go because I felt the toddler was too old to come with me but not old enough to be left alone.
I did encounter the "subtle" pressure to leave a child behind. I think you will meet this in different degrees everywhere, not just Regnum Christi. I remember someone from Marriage Encounter telling me that we couldn't bring a nursing infant, because she would be too distracting, to us! In the secular world, people are always urging us to "get away" without our kids, even our babies.
My point is, you still are in charge of when you are ready to leave your baby. You will not, most likely, be the only one on retreat with a child. I will say I find it too distracting to bring a toddler once they are really talking and busy. But, the weekly commitments and daily prayer commitments were incredibly valuable to me, even when I couldn't quite keep up. So, if you feel called to it, realize it doesn't have to be all or nothing.
That said, there is good advice in praying about the timing. Your children are your primary apostolate. Not everyone in RC seems to appreciate that. Again, it is not an RC thing, as it seems most organizations expect you to put their work first, without realizing the impact on your family. It may be true though that it is not your time to take your focus outside the home. Although, I do believe that if it truly helps you spiritually, it will benefit the family.
Last point, I think you need to get a feel for the team you would be involved with. These ladies are your support, both physical and spiritual. If they are a team that is heavily involved in time-consuming apostolates, it probably isn't a good fit as they may not understand your need to keep it at a minimum. But if it is a team of moms with young kids with fewer apostolates going on, then you can reap the spiritual benefits without feeling like you are abandoning your kids constantly.
Hope that helps,
God bless!
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Lisbet
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I too am RC and I second every word that Molly just said! :) I have felt pressure from time to time also, to 'look beyond my baby/toddler'. But, ultimatly I decide when, if, and how far beyond I look! I make my weekly team encounter 2-3 times per month, one day I may make it all of the time, but not now. Rather than a yearly retreat, I have made it bi-yearly, and always with a baby. I have been in a super busy apostolate in the past, but have now toned it down, and my apostolate is with my husband. Overall, I have seen such wonderful fruits from our family being invloved with the movement and apostolates, and that has made it all worth it. (not to mention the spiritual formation I have received!)
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
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florasita
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There have been some contreversies regardings this apostlate .
I would suggest taking it up with your spiritual director to help you properly discern .
If you do not have a spiritual director I would suggest seaking to your preist about it . He should have have good insight into the differnt aposaltes ministries .
I belong to S.O.L.T myself and like very much the small simplicity of the groups and ministries very open inviting missionaries of Mercy etc.
As a missionary the other ministry I really would love to check out again at some point is family missions company . again it is a small ministry not to huge etc.
I did belong to RC and stopped there was much I did not like .
I think if you look for councel with Jesus , spiritual direction etc. It will be shown to you weather to take this on or not
__________________
May I rise & rest with words of Gratitude on my Breath
May I have the Heart & Mind of a Child in my Depth
May I forever remember to be a Light
May Peace Love & Hope be My Sight
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: Nov 06 2007 at 11:03am | IP Logged
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What is SOLT?
Thanks.
Peace,
Nancy
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florasita
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Nancy here are a few links http://www.solt.org/solt/S.O.L.T
Society of Our Lady
S.O.L.T family ministry
just for fun this is the Family Mission Company
__________________
May I rise & rest with words of Gratitude on my Breath
May I have the Heart & Mind of a Child in my Depth
May I forever remember to be a Light
May Peace Love & Hope be My Sight
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hylabrook1
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Thank you; I'll check out those links.
Peace,
Nancy
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Regnum Christi
