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LLMom
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| Posted: Nov 02 2007 at 9:41am | IP Logged
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Ok, last night after church someone was telling me about a special at a restaraunt and said to remember to ask for my senior discount! Now, I do have quite a bit of gray hair for someone who is almost 42 but my first thought was do I really look 65!  I told him that I do look old but I am not 65 or older. He said he thought I was in my 50's and that a senior citizen is 50 and above. Then someone else asked if I was loosing weight because I looked thinner than usual. (this is not really a compliment because I am naturally thin) I felt like I looked like a skinny, old woman yet I am praying for another baby. I am not one to dye my hair; I have never been a "foofy" girl. I don't like makeup, jewelry, etc. so dying my hair seems so out of place, plus at this point everyone would know and that seems really embarrasing. Does it look bad to be an older mom? IF I do become pregnant again, will people be repulsed that an old woman is pregnant? I don't want to give motherhood a bad name. My husband doesn't think its a big deal. He loves me the way I am and still thinks I look nice.  He is graying too so we match!
I forgot to mention that I have a picture of this skinny old woman on my blog if you want to see for a good laugh.  Click on the picture and it will be really big so you can see all of my gray hair!
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Lisa
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Philothea
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| Posted: Nov 02 2007 at 11:14am | IP Logged
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I am 26 and lurking where I don't belong (no growing in wisdom happening here just yet, haha!), but I looked at your picture and you are beautiful. I don't think you need to dye your hair or anything like that, you have natural beauty! It might make you look a few years younger to dye it, but who wants to deal with that kind of upkeep when it's just not necessary? I think "older" moms (and really, my husband is 42 so I don't consider you old at all) who are pregnant or have babies just radiate peace, maturity and hope and send a powerful message to the world that it is NEVER too late to embrace life.
You are NOT giving motherhood a bad name -- you are a beautiful example to young moms like me of what real Catholic motherhood is all about. Thank you for setting that example, it is rare in this day and age.
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MarilynW
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| Posted: Nov 02 2007 at 12:02pm | IP Logged
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I agree - your photo is beautiful. I could have written your post in many ways. I am not officially on this forum for a couple of months - but I have some grey hair and will never be able to color it as I am allergic to all regular cosmetic products. For the same reason I cannot wear make up. I too do not spend tons of time on my hair or jewellry or accessories - just no time and not much inclination. I worry about getting more grey hair and looking older than 39. My husband is greying too - but he has a crew cut -so not really noticeable!!
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LLMom
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| Posted: Nov 03 2007 at 6:25am | IP Logged
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Thanks Marilyn and Philothea. Actually, the picture doesn't show my grey too much! My biggest concern is if looking older gives motherhood/large families a bad name. Unfortunantly, the world judges by appearances and if they see a skinny, grey headed woman with 7 children, are they turned off to motherhood thinking, look what having all of those children has done to her. On the other hand, I have heard that we should not care what the world thinks and be proud to wear our "crown of wisdom" that the Bible talks about.
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SallyT
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| Posted: Nov 03 2007 at 7:25pm | IP Logged
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Well, you'd only give motherhood as bad a name as St. Elizabeth did, or Sarah in the Old Testament . . .
I know at least one very prematurely grey woman -- very beautiful, and I'm so glad she doesn't dye it, because it's lovely -- with numerous children, and well, I said it already. She's just beautiful, and her family is beautiful. It seems to me that the world will look at a woman of any age with a lot of children and think she's crazy, but that doesn't mean that she shouldn't have all those children, or that she's somehow bad PR for motherhood. I only have four, and my family think I'm nuts and drop hints about overpopulation -- well, if I'm giving motherhood a bad name in their eyes, then I'm really not interested in deserving the "good" name, which would be having a dog and a career instead of children. They love my kids, and we all love them, but not to the extent of seeing the whole motherhood thing from the same point of view at all.
Of course, on the days when we're all in the grocery store, and I'm going, "Put that zucchini BACK. I said PUT IT BACK!!!!!! Or ELSE!!!!!!!" THEN I imagine that my being such a total harpy is not exactly a commercial for the joys of motherhood . . .
Seriously. I'm about to turn 43, perimenopausal, praying for a miracle AND for joyful obedience to God's will -- and I figure I EARNED these grey hairs! Just waiting for them to become a silver crown. (and I'm with you all the way on not being foofy, not wearing makeup, etc. At this point, I figure it's probably just better for everyone to be used to what I really look like. It's always a shock to see my mother or my mother-in-law without their makeup, and I don't want to shock people first thing in the morning!).
Sally
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Alice R
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| Posted: Dec 14 2007 at 9:21pm | IP Logged
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You look about 40 or so to me. I have no idea what people are thinking to suggest that you are a senior citizen...it seems kinda silly to me. Actually, it is kinda dumb. 
I think your hair looks fine BUT I offer this only as a suggestion IF you wanted. I had a friend who went gray early and she had lowlights put in her hair. Instead of painting on highlights, they "higlight" your hair with darker strands. It was still a nice gray color but had more dark hair. It was very nature looking and easy to maintain because there weren't so much roots to deal with.
Like I said, I think you fine but it's an option that most people don't think of. I think when I go gray, I'm gonna look into this. 
As far as being pregnant with gray hair, plenty of young women go gray very early. I wouldn't even notice it.
Blessings,
Alice
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time4tea
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Actually, both Sarah and St. Elizabeth were post-menopausal when they conceived, which is why it was such a miracle. They were well beyond the years where conception was possible. In today's terms, that would be somewhere over age 50 - about a decade away for you (and for me!). That said, I do not think gray hair or skinniness gives motherhood a bad name. My college roommate and her husband have had gray hair since they were in their early to mid 20's! And I mean, really gray hair, not just a strand or two, here or there, but entire heads of gray! They were also full-time youth workers - could there be a connection there ?!
Blessings,
Tea
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4Real Forums : St. Anne's Tearoom: Growing in Wisdom over 40
Topic: senior citizen discount
