4Real Forums: Missing our children

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: Missing our children

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Maria B.
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Joined: Jan 16 2006
Location: Virginia
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Posts: 544

Posted: Sept 02 2007 at 6:14pm \| IP Logged

As I prepare for my new school year, I am really missing my older son who is in his first year at the Naval Academy. Some days (like today), I really struggle with the sadness and loneliness I feel. I long for the days when we were all together and I was on top of everything that my kids did. I know it is not suppose to stay like this forever. I know he (and his siblings) need to grow up and move on to do the work God intends for them. But it is so hard. I just can't seem to let go. My heart aches for things to be the way they once were. How do I get over this? I am praying and offering up all of this, but still having a rough time.

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Maria in VA
Proud Mom to 10 Great kids!

BrendaPeter
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Joined: Feb 28 2005
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Posts: 981

Posted: Sept 02 2007 at 6:50pm \| IP Logged

Dear Maria,

I'm glad it's not just me! I'm even more pathetic though as my oldest is only in 8th grade & I'm already dreading the day he leaves.

I don't have too many suggestions but I often think of Our Lady's words to St. Bernadette i.e. "I can't promise you happiness on earth, only in heaven." Motherhood has some great joys but some great crosses as well which is why we must turn to Our Lady frequently to help us bear the crosses.

I offer you the same advice I would give to any one going through a difficult time - Pray whenever you can and schedule it into your day, find a good spiritual director, go to confession once/week, read good classic spiritual books 15 minutes/day, read & meditate on the gospels, go on an overnight retreat (if possible)and go to adoration (if possible) often.

HTH!

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Blessings,

Brenda (mom to 6)

jackiemomof7
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Joined: Oct 28 2005
Location: Kansas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 247

Posted: Sept 03 2007 at 9:30am \| IP Logged

Dear Maria,

My heart and prayers go out to you! I am very much with you today on this, very sad and lonely. We had our weekend visit with our dd at the convent. It is so hard to leave her and the next day (today) after the visit our hearts ache so badly to see and hold her. She was able to talk to her brother who is currently in Iraq on our cell phone yesterday. He was able to call us while we were there visiting her. And as she talked to him and I watched her, I wondered if all my children will ever be together again. I have a picture I use on my computer as my wallpaper of all seven of them and that picture is 2 years old. It has been 2 years since all 7 of my children have been together! I have been depressed about this topic for the last couple of years but I am working on it and I am getting better. I have learned that this is part of the "Cross" we mothers are called to carry. Some days I pick it up and carry it well and other days I just want to lay it down and let the feelings of saddness and loneliness flow around me.

Sorry this turned into my sad story! But I am there beside you suffering also and will offer my prayers up for you and all of the mothers who are suffering with this!

May are Lady of Sorrows comfort you!
God bless,

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Jackie wife to Jim for 27!! years, proud army mom of Chris(25),Chef Matthew(24) and Sister Grace of Benedectines (21),Joshua(19),Nicholas(17),Jaymee(15), Elizabeth(13) and 2 in Heaven.Grandma to 3!

4 lads mom
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Joined: Sept 26 2006
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Posts: 1944

Posted: Sept 04 2007 at 8:19am \| IP Logged

I cry every time I think of this, and my oldest is 14!!! I can't imagine how to deal with this, other than I know God is so pleased with you holy women, givers of life..His grace is sufficient, but I am so sorry the Cross is so heavy.
I'll be praying!

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Mom of four brave lads and one sweet lassie
Scenes From This and That

Mary G
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Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5790

Posted: Sept 04 2007 at 8:24am \| IP Logged

Maria,

It's funny -- it's the "oh, this is Joe's favorite dinner" or the littles asking when Joe is coming home; stuff like that.

Added to our missing him is that he doesn't email often -- and only then quick messages. But I can't blame him -- he is working 2 jobs while attending classes and socializing. That's a lot to keep track of and then we're 2 hours behind him ... I was exactly the same way when I was in college -- I KNEW I was fine!

Prayers and hugs to all you moms and families out there who have sent older kids to college, religious life or the military (or they're just OLD

!). May Mary keep her mantle 'round them all and keep them safe!

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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)

my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!

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