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lapazfarm
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| Posted: June 26 2007 at 11:07pm | IP Logged
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Until sunday everything about Kodiak has been like a dream come true. Truly this place is amazing among God's creation.
But sunday was the first Mass we attended at the tiny church here and I hate to admit, I am sorely disappointed.
It isn't the fact that the church is poor and modern looking, or that the priest is difficult to understand (he has a heavy accent). These things are easy to overlook and to be expected in a missionary church such as this one.
What bothers me is how very "new-age-ish" it all was. Guitar music, hand holding, the tabernacle set in a side room, girl altar servers, a woman "setting the table" before consecration, altar servers holding hands with the priest at the altar during the (sung) Our Father, some sort of "sending" blessing where everyone in the congregation raised their hands and sung a blessing to a nun (plainclothes) who was leaving the school, some woman bringing the reserve host to the altar, and taking the reserve host back over to the tabernacle after communion...
I don't think any of these things are implicitly wrong, but still...You know, I consider myself pretty flexible and accepting, and none of these things by themselves would have thrown me. But taken as a whole I have to admit being knocked for a loop and nearly brought to tears.
Now I know exactly what some of you ladies are going through with the liturgical abuses. I had no idea.
The worst part was when it was over and we walked to the car, my son, the one who never has an unkind word to say, who loves the church with an enthusiasm that is contagious, the one who we hope may some day be a priest, said with an air of sadness, "Well, it wasn't the best mass I've ever been to..." 
I know he will not get the necessary guidance towards a vocation here. I can just tell.
And in one year, this will no longer be just a vacation. It will be our home parish.
Ladies. I need your help. How do I deal with this? How do I not let these things get to me to a point where my faith and the faith of my family is tested? I am so weak! How do I keep it in my heart and mind that Jesus is still there, no matter what, and THAT is what is truly important?
How do I keep from leaving mass in tears?
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Matilda
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| Posted: June 26 2007 at 11:15pm | IP Logged
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Oh dear! I am so sorry Theresa. I have no real advice to offer. We have had similar feelings after attending Mass at some of the local parishes, but we have the option of finding an alternative.
Your family is in our daily prayers. Hang in there.
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Charlotte (Matilda)
Mom to four (11 , 10 , 9 & 5 ) an even split for now
with bookend boys and a double girl sandwich
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mariB
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| Posted: June 27 2007 at 6:28am | IP Logged
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The Pope wrote about the litury in his Eucharistic Exhortation recently. We have a study group that decided to read this and discuss it together. In part 2 of the Exhortation is where he gets into how the whole liturgy should be treated. Perhaps you could encourage your priest to read this or when you meet others start a group of your own.
But I would encourage you to read the Exhortation first. The Holy Father is writing to all priests and to us! I am not good with links, but you can google Post-synodal Apostolic Exhortation Sacramentum Caritatis. It also comes in book form from the Pauline Sisters I think. Pray and I will be praying for you.
We have a problem of a different sort at our parish. Our priest is retiring and there are a shortage of priests in Vermont. Our bishop is requesting a priest from another parish say mass and Sundays for us and he is refusing!
You've have had one experience at that particular church. Perhaps it will be better next time.
My heart is with you and we will be praying for you!
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marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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Maryan
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Theresa,
I'm sorry -- especially for your kids.
I have one suggestion that I'm not sure is doable. During the jubilee year, we got in the habit of visiting the Cathedral in DC for Mass at least once a month -- it took us an hour to get there. Our parish priest, Mass, etc. is wonderful -- but it's in a gym. So we take periodic trips to the Cathedral to help keep a sense of the sacred.
We also do this in CT when we go to visit my folks. My Mom's home parish Easter services aren't the most sacred, so for this biggest solemnity of the year, we go to a Church two towns over. The boys really notice all sacramentals and the reverence... and the beautiful music.
We prepare for these special trips like a pilgrimage. I don't know if you have these options in Kodiak -- I have NO idea how many churches are near you, if you have to take a ferry to get there, and if that's even possible in the winter... my Alaska geography is almost nill.
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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
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Mackfam
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| Posted: June 27 2007 at 8:08am | IP Logged
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Theresa,
We do the same thing Maryan does. Here in North Alabama, we experience almost all of the things you mention. One of the concerns of my heart is that this is not an environment which fosters reverence or fertile ground for nurturing vocations.
We do our best to bloom where we are planted, but add a little fertile "humus" to the pot by attending Mass at Our Lady of the Angels Monastery (The Poor Clares of Perpetual Adoration - Mother Angelica) once every month or two. It is a 2 hour drive for us, but we treat it just as Maryan's family does - as a retreat/pilgrimage.
Have you considered that God is placing your family in this parish to plant the seeds of reform? This was the first thought I had when reading your post. God can bring much good out of this. Your experience, perspective, and humility will all be useful tools in His hands. It will no doubt prompt a really great apologetics class with your ds at the very least! What does your dh think???
I will pray for your situation! I do empathize with the sadness and heartache you feel. Cling to the Blessed Virgin, and meditate on the Holy Family's flight into Egypt. God's peace be yours.
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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chicken lady
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I will pray Theresa, one bit of hope for you......Benedict XVI is really coming forward and setting these abuses right. I would predict that by the time you live there full time you (we all) will begin to see an end to these illicit masses.
It has been advised to me to be grateful for your awareness of the illicit behaviour, and offer your suffering to Jesus for the abuse he feels from the neglect and irreverence.
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nicole-amdg
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Lots of good advice here.
Perhaps it will help to keep in the forefront the awareness you have that it is a mission church. That might make it easier to be understanding about some of the less-than-ideal things (maybe these are the exact circumstances that make "extra-ordinary" measures licit), or at least to be charitable toward those perpetrating them. "Love covers a multitude of sins."
Perhaps, also, you and your family can take frequent refuge in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament--you can engage in at least half of the works of mercy right there, and receive spiritual rejuvenation for your own missions of educating your children, encouraging vocations, and sowing the seeds of reform as Jennifer suggested. You're in a kind of desert there, and this period could end up being very fruitful.
Oh, and will you be able to keep up with us 4real? Your example is so inspiring, and I know that community can be a lifeline in isolated situations.
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Nicole
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doris
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Oh, dear. I can really relate -- except that living in London at least has the advantage of plenty of Masses to choose from.
I think you just need to trust that God has led you to this place for a reason and he won't abandon you. Easier said than done! Personally, I wouldn't launch in with bombarding the priest with encylicals or anything -- that might be counterproductive. Get involved as much as you can, and pray.
I'm sure this is all very obvious. Hope things get better.
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marihalojen
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Oh Theresa!
BTDT, kept my eyes physically closed at one parish, that solution worked wonders for me coming out of Mass peaceful rather than ranting.
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Meredith
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Oh Theresa, I am so sorry to hear of this. Remember God has placed you in Alaska for a reason this summer and try not to get too caught up in the particulars. We have had MANY disappoints at various different parishes, but we always seem to learn something about ourelves and grow in our faith because of it. I know this probably isn't very helpful, but I do want you to know you are definately not alone in feeling this way and I will keep you and your lovely family in prayer during this tricky time!
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Meredith
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Erin
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Theresa
I can really relate to you at present. Our new parish priest has just arrived and we lasted all of two weeks We are so sad to leave our parish of over ten years however the liturgical abuses happening are bad and only going to increas. We have made the difficult decision that if our dc were to be exposed to this they could become desenstitsed to error, they wouldn't even know it is wrong. There are other issues too but for the sake of charity I will leave it at the irreverance for the Blessed Sacrament and the intimidation our dc received regarding communion on the tongue led to our move
We are now committed to driving 60 minutes to the next parish, last week we were warmly welcomed by the parish priest there who was thrilled to receive nine new servers and 30 new people (two other families are also travelling and I have heard of others leaving too) The church is a little pioneer church you can just feel our pioneer forefathers in the church.
Is travel an option for you? Is there another Mass within an hour's drive? Superboy's response is not to be taken lightly. Many, many hugs
(I write this not meaning to upset anyone else who has stuck it out, after all we intended to do so until something tramatic happened to ME in Mass I admire you if you can do so. After the second Mass we knew we couldn't and receive nourishment when we were too tramatized and we do have the option of another Mass an hour away)
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Erin
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mariB
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I know I have seen many abuses within the church. There have been some in my parish and the local surrounding parishes.
Again, I have to speak about the Exhortation that Pope Benedict XVI(Post-synodal Apostic Exhortation Sacramentum Caritatis you can google and print for free) wrote recently on the Eucharist. It was so encouraging to me! We spoke within our group about what we could do in these situations and we all agreed prayer ---especially many Rosaries. After all, St. Paul wrote many letters regarding this very subject. There have been many abuses of the liturgy over the centuries. Within the Exhortation, I love how the Pope approaches the Eucharist, the Liturgy of the Mass, and the Sacraments with such clarity and love.
Of course I didn't mean to approach your priest with an Exhortation in hand. All should be in the timing of the Holy Spirit and done with love and ecouragement and HUMILITY. But our priests need our support. They are called by God and much is required of them.
There is a family within our parish that has done so much for our priest. They have invited him to dinners, birhtday parties, family gatherings. I have learned so much from them. Perhaps with a little time you can invite your parish priest to dinner, maybe ask him to bless your house. We did this and invited him every so often for dinners and gatherings too.
I have never felt out of line asking our priest questions. Especially matters of the church. My next question to him will be "Are priests required to read Exhortations and Encyclicals?" Reading the Exhortation, I thought to myself if I was a priest I would love to read it just for the edification.
We had the pleasure of having a visiting priest come to our parish a couple weeks ago. When he got to the consecration in mass, it was like he was saying those words for the very first time! I thought to myself,"Wow, God is doing such a miracle here!" I felt as if time had stopped. The pope touched on that very matter in the Exhortation. In a nutshell, he said our priests should say mass as if it was their very first or their very last for that matter.
I can only say the Exhortation has helped me not to focus on others but on myself and how I can assist better at mass. The Holy Eucharist will give you strength.
We'll keep this as our prayer intention this week. Again, this is just my humble opinion to prayerfully consider.
Blessings
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stacykay
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Oh, I don't know if any of these ideas will help, but here are a couple:
-watch Mass (if available) from ewtn or maybe a another church that would closely follow the Church's direction.
-have your son do a study of the Pope's letter of Eucharistic Exhortation (and/or any other appropriate sources.) (I know this sounds kind of heady, but if you scaled it down..., although his work you have shown on your blog indicates he is one bright cookie!)
-do a study of tabernacles (viewing other churches online.)
-listen to "traditional" church hymns.
-read about saints especially devoted to the Eucharist (of course they all were, but if there are any in particular.)
-study Eucharistic miracles.
Does your new parish offer adoration? See if the priest would offer even a couple hours a week?
Is there more than one Mass time? (I have no idea what the population is on Kodiak.) Usually the earliest Mass is less... animated.
I would suggest having ds sign up to be an altar boy, but then again, if they are having the altar "servers" doing inappropriate things, maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea.
I guess, in other words, if the Mass is not terribly...reverant, then look for more ways to build it up for ds outside of Mass.
We do face the same thing at not just a few of our local parishes, but we are blessed with other options.
I will pray for you!
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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lapazfarm
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Thank you all for your prayers and wonderful, thoughtful replies. I can feel the strength pour back into me as I read them!
I will take some time to read more thoroughly your suggestions and then decide, with my dh, exactly how to deal with this. I know it will have to be some time before I feel comfortable approaching the priest, so I have time to consider my options. Meanwhile I will read up on the encyclicals and exhortations mentioned here.
Thank you again, ladies. I knew you would understand.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Not what I'd hoped for
