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TradCathMom
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| Posted: July 03 2005 at 4:45pm | IP Logged
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My two year old was always the most loving child, so cuddly and cute and sweet. We started helping out someone, after a surgery, for 6 weeks and in that time she morphed into.... hmmm.... well, a screech owl to put it nicely. She's still sweet and cuddly but she has been SO testy, mostly when we go to this one place. I have always been there and kept an eye on her but she does things she doesn't do at home even!
Anyone have any creative ways to deal with this? Most esp in front of others! I know a squeeze to the thigh helps and no one can see that and she knows that means enough. Anything else? Maybe a little more on the positive side! I don't want her to get attention in a negative way.
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Julie
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alicegunther
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| Posted: July 03 2005 at 6:01pm | IP Logged
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I had the same experience with my sweet and adorable two year old boy. One minute, I remember telling my husband our little guy was the most naturally polite child I had ever met, and, the day we brought his new baby sister home from the hospital, he turned into a whiny squealer. He was sick with a stomach virus when the new baby came, so at first I thought that was the problem. Unfortunately, the whiny, crankiness lasted a year! I am only just now seeing a return to his former self. Don't get me wrong--he wasn't completely horrible (thank goodness he was always kind to the baby), but his personality definitely changed at a definable point in time.
My only advice would be to remain patient and keep setting boundaries for your little girl. I have sometimes needed to remove my son from situations in which he was being too crabby or shrill. Remain upbeat and try not to let her hear you say anything about her testiness--I have worked very hard not to let my little boy hear my complaints, fearing he would begin to see himself in a negative light. I was careful to praise him when he did anything akin to his old sweet ways, but tried not let him get away with any fresh behavior (at least that I knew about!). Now I am seeing that patience paying off. He is friendly and polite again--at least as friendly and polite as any three year old boy!
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Love, Alice
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TradCathMom
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| Posted: July 03 2005 at 7:31pm | IP Logged
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alicegunther wrote:
My only advice would be to remain patient |
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Oh dear! *Remain* patient? How about if I just start to try to be patient! Thank you so much for your reply, I really enjoy reading your posts. It's always nice to know that there are other Catholics in the same boat too! I've gone off all lists because we are going to be moving and yikes I feel that lack of interaction with other understanding mothers!
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Julie
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mary
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I currently have a 2 year old. I think that age has a lot of emotional development - they begin to process their feelings and handle them (hopefully appropriately!), they have dreams, their verbal ability exploded and they want desperately to be independant. How difficult it must be for them to sort all of that out. At least that's what I tell myself when my little dramah queen has thrown herself on the floor in a fit of pique.
Aside from commiserating with you, I suppose you are looking for some suggestions. Can you tell what is triggering her behavior? You said it is just this place - do you mean the place where you visit the person who had surgery?
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: July 04 2005 at 7:48am | IP Logged
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mary wrote:
| they have dreams, their verbal ability exploded and they want desperately to be independant. How difficult it must be for them to sort all of that out. At least that's what I tell myself when my little dramah queen has thrown herself on the floor in a fit of pique. |
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I have a 2yo too! (He'll be three this month.) He dreams a LOT. Often during the night he wakes me, arguing about someone having eaten his food or taken his turn with a toy. He is unconsolable and doesn't realize that it didn't really happen. Other times he talks in his sleep. He, too, was a very sweet boy until about two months ago. He's been screaming and crying over anything and everything. He doesn't want to share anymore. He's not eating as well or sleeping as much. At first I thought that he must have an ear infection or that it was a result of the allergy problems we were all having.... A quick trip to the doctor cleared up those concerns. No particular event (as far as I know) triggered this, but I do think that it's just a phase. As Alice said, I'm trying to be patient but firm. Often when he's screaming uncontrollably, I'll pick him up and take him to a quiet place in the house. I hold him tight and soothingly keep telling him that it's okay and that he needs to calm down. It takes a bit, but this usually works, and then we can move on to addressing *why* he got so upset to begin with.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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saintanneshs
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| Posted: July 05 2005 at 8:17pm | IP Logged
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My oldest son has a nice flair for the dramatic and always has. One thing we tried when he would start to throw a tantrum in public was to whisper in his ear, "Help me, dear angel." I don't know where this came from, but it has helped from time to time and I can't help but chuckle when I hear our 2nd son yell it out loud just before he loses it with his older brother !
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Genevieve
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| Posted: July 06 2005 at 9:32am | IP Logged
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Alice,
Thank you so much for your post. My eldest underwent a similar transformation with the arrival of his baby brother. His behaviour has baffled me and I'm glad to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Genevieve
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ALmom
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| Posted: July 06 2005 at 8:47pm | IP Logged
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We also have a wonderfully sweet 2 yo (almost 3) that has become prone to losing it. We approach it very much as others have said - trying to be firm, but patient.
One thing that often triggers the problem is too much stress, hunger and not enough rest. We have found that melt - down can occur after relatives visit, etc. or anytime there have been out of routine activities, extra driving, or lots of extra people.
Sometimes it helps to hold the 2 yo in another room away from everyone and stroke hair or back. I have even asked my 2 yo to take a deep breath and tell me what he needs so I can help. Usually this helps after some moments of letting him cry while stroking or hugging him. We cannot go back into the other room until he is finished whining and fussing and we certainly do not give into the whines if it is a No he didn't want to accept - but often it is frustration or something he tried to ask for and in the commotion, no one heard him when he asked nicely. We do ask that he ask nicely again so we can hear - he often has this wonderful, sweet please that he puts on a show with.
We had a 2 yo that we took with us to visit my grandmother in the nursing home (she was there temporarily for physical therapy) and it was often the scene of some melt downs. The room was crowded, we sometimes felt unwelcome by the staff because there were so many of us and my grandmothers room-mate got upset with us because one of the children used the chair on her side or touched her bed or something and my grandmother would get nervous about noise. I was tense, the children sensed it, there were some older folks with dementia that moaned and groaned loudly, etc. and it could seem frightening for children. We also went everyday because we wanted to spend time with my grandmother after her stroke and make sure she was actually getting the therapy she was supposed to - this was a daily drive and a lot to ask of young, energetic children.
It was something we knew we needed to do, but I did try to prepare the children ahead of time, and reward for good behaviour afterwards with a special treat and acknowledgement of how hard it was for them and how much it meant to grandmother.
I have one child in particular that has always been more upset by out of routine and even at 11 can get out of sorts with too much away from home. As a 2yo he could get really cranky in settings like medical facilities. He thrives on routine. He also got car - sick starting at about 2 which took us a little while to figure out.
Oh, after going through many 2 yo, we have found that we always forget that just when it gets so bad you think you won't survive much longer - it just goes away! I do try to remember this in the midst of the depths of 2 yo crankiness.
I also don't mind acknowledging that the child is being a bit cranky. With our oldest we turned it into a joke and fried the crabbies and sent them out the door - of course she would also fry my crabbies and send them out the door when I had a melt down myself and we would talk about sending dd or mom to her room to rest for a bit (this is not in a sense of punishment but matter of fact - when we are crabby, we must be tired and need a rest). My sister used to send herself to her room when she got crabby with the children and I learned that from her.
Janet
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stefoodie
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i have precocious teens but late toddlers LOL. my kids were still wonderful little angels at 2, but almost the minute they turned 3 they turned into little monsters that needed LOTS of hugging and gentle guidance, although i also lose my temper and yell sometimes. yup, patience is the hardest part but it's also the one thing that you need most. will be praying for you:)
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stef
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: A Terrible Two Streak... Help!
