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hobbitmom
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| Posted: May 18 2007 at 1:47pm | IP Logged
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I could use your advice on disciplining my ds2. He’s ordinarily a peaceful, quiet, even compliant little guy (as toddlers go, that is), but lately he’s started testing me and dh, and I’m not sure how to respond.
For instance: he’s started pouring his cup out on the floor at meals. He knows that the consequence for this is standing in the corner, and his drink is replaced in a sippy cup instead of the open cup. But when he pours it out and then says “Corner!” with a big smile, runs eagerly to it, giggles while he’s there, and when I let him out, runs happily back to hug me and then help clean up... is this really discipline, or just a game? 
I’ve tried other things too. First came time-outs in his crib (his bedroom is just off the kitchen/living room, so he doesn’t go far away, and I keep the door open so he can hear me). At first he got upset, but now he just talks and laughs to himself, takes his socks off and throws them on the floor, even gags himself and throws up on the sheets  (which for some inexplicable reason he thinks is hilarious).
All you more experienced moms here, what am I missing?
Amy
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Bridget
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| Posted: May 18 2007 at 2:14pm | IP Logged
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You have to sit with him and catch him BEFORE he starts to pour. Catch his wrist and help him set the cup back down. Then read him a story while he eats. Whatever it takes to get him out of the habit. Remove the focus from his fun pouring game.
This will make you crazy as you probably want to be cleaning up the kitchen or something while he eats. But training in a good habit to replace a bad one is the goal here.
Or just put the drink in a sippy cup in the first place. I promise he won't go off to college still needing sippy cups.
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Lisbet
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| Posted: May 18 2007 at 2:32pm | IP Logged
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When my guy, also 2, starts playing with his cup during a meal, like Bridget says, I stop him before he dumps it/puts his food/fingers in it, then I calmly take it away. After a few times of this he realized that he doesn't get a drink if he plays with it, so he doesn't do it too much anymore, but once in awhile he still tries to see if he can get away with it. Meals are the only time he gets a regular cup, in between meals he gets a sippy of water.
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CAgirl4God
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| Posted: May 22 2007 at 1:48pm | IP Logged
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okay I will post some of things I do with dd, but I am laughing right now...because this post got me thinking of dd. everytime one of her brother/sister gets disciplined she is right there wanting the same thing. if dh says "drop and give me ten push ups" dd is trying to do it too.
and when she is mad at one of us or doesn't like something that is going on, she will sulk off to her room and shut the door and lie on her bed. then come out happy and smiling after a bit.
I had forgotten all the joys of toddlerhood lol
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hobbitmom
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| Posted: May 22 2007 at 2:04pm | IP Logged
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Bridget wrote:
| You have to sit with him and catch him BEFORE he starts to pour. Catch his wrist and help him set the cup back down. |
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Right... catching him before the dumping begins would be ideal, but he's too fast! He only gets an open cup at meals. Dh and I sit on either side of him and neither of us can catch him in time. Usually he pretends like he's just going to take another sip, and then he suddenly tosses the drink over his shoulder. We've thought about making him clean up the mess, but he LOVES to help clean, so that's not much of a consequence! 
Bridget wrote:
| Or just put the drink in a sippy cup in the first place. I promise he won't go off to college still needing sippy cups. |
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 True! But the main reason we moved to the open cup is because he's still nursing at naptime and bedtime, and he was developing "sippy cup confusion," as our La Leche League leader put it... which HURTS.
It's other things besides the drink-pouring, too. He also thinks it's great fun to spit out his food on the floor...
Amy
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mary theresa
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| Posted: May 22 2007 at 7:00pm | IP Logged
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Okay, so I've never had a 2yo (yet!) and you prob. shouldn't listen to what I say . . . 
I did work in both primary and toddler classrooms at a montessori school. I was the assistant which basically turned out to be the discipline-enforcer .
My first thought:
Take away the food. Or the drink. Tell him since he cannot behave responsibly like a big boy with his food or drink you have to remove it until he is ready to behave properly. Maybe he goes to bed hungry. That would be okay. Help him understand that he is CHOOSING by his own actions to have his food or drink removed. You can choose to have no water, or you can choose to drink responsibly like a big boy.
You have to be consistent in whatever you chose to do. Don't make it a battle of wills, just be matter-of-fact, even sound sad when you say the above, as it is disappointing you that he cannot behave as he should.
...this idea is totally off the cuff. Maybe a little drastic, but it sounds as if he knows EXACTLY what he is doing and will be able to understand this consequence. He'll probably learn quick!
An aside about the throwing up on the sheets -- I laughed  when I read that -- can you imagine WANTING to throw up!! But I am really sorry, sorry that he does that and sorry for laughing. That really must be awful for you. If my daughter did that I would throw up too.
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: May 25 2007 at 7:04am | IP Logged
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I think you're getting some great advice. One other thing I thought about was that perhaps your little guy is just looking for more attention at dinner time. I know that this is when my dh and I are tempted to just talk since we haven't seen each other all day. We've learned, through many mealtime struggles, that we have to really focus on the kids at dinner time and save our time for talking until later. Just by giving each child a turn (including the 2 year old) to talk about their day has really helped us get rid of some of the attention seeking behaviors that they had been displaying.
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CAgirl4God
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| Posted: May 25 2007 at 1:23pm | IP Logged
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how about one of those sport water bottles, then have a pop top to drink out of? my dd 'sucks' her water out of it as opposed to suirting it out. so maybe that would help with the confusion with nursing and the sippy cup??? just thinking out loud....
some of the other things that we do, it a stern look (without a smile) and telling her no .
ex: she is reaching to the toaster... I tell her no, hot, no touch, not for judy, hot.
with throwing things off the table, it usually is a sign that she is done eating and is bored. even if she didn't eat much.
I will sit her on her bed when she is defient or screaming and 'freakingout' like we call it in our house. the kids even sing a song when someone else has a temper tantrum (ah Freak out!) but she it doesn't take long for her to calm down and come back smiling.
I do alot of distraction. I got that advice from one of my sisters long ago. some of the best advice. if Judy is doning something 'wrong' then I remove the temptation or her and distract her with something appropriate for her. most of the time this works.
and then soemtimes it doesn't and I need to either get down and play/sit with her for awhile, or worst case put her on her bed.....
will be thinking of some more ideas for you...
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Another toddler discipline question
