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MicheleQ
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| Posted: March 16 2007 at 1:07pm | IP Logged
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No, not me, the Povey family! Did anyone see this program on TLC recently? I can't find a link to it right now. 
To be honest I found this family much easier to relate to than the Duggar family. The Duggar's seemed very nice but I didn't feel like what was presented was really helpful to being open to life. What I mean is that in many ways it made having a large family seemed so "out there". A large family does not need a 7,000 sq. ft, house (and even if you can build it yourself it's still out of reach to MANY large families), you don't need a mini bus (and I maintain you don't even need a 12 or 15 pass. van  ), and you certainly don't need 4 industrial sized washers. All that stuff is nice but it seemed so typical of the American way of excess.
In contrast the Povey family (from the UK btw), had a modest sized home, 2 CARS, and ONE washing machine and NO dryer (one of the kids had out cement in it and ruined it so now she hangs all their laundry outside). The show wasn't perfect by any means but they just seemed so much more REAL to me.
Honestly I am not trying to be critical and you needn't justify why you have to have your large van and/or several washers or huge house or WHATEVER. I am sure for some people those things truly are necessary but my point is that the way it was presented it didn't make is seem that you COULD still function well as a large family without those things --like the Povey family does.
I am wondering if anyone else saw the program and what they thought.
God bless!
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Michele Quigley
wife to my prince charming and mom of 10 in Lancaster County, PA USA
http://michelequigley.com
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Lisbet
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| Posted: March 16 2007 at 1:17pm | IP Logged
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Michele,
Thanks for the review! I didn't see it, (this large family doesn't even have cable ) but it does sound a bit more 'typical' of the large families I know.
I feel very much the same way you do about the Duggars. They seem very nice, and they seem to have a joyful family life. Yet, I happen to know 2 families around here that have 15+ children, and their lifestyle is not even close to that of the Duggars in the way of material things.
I may ask my mom to record this for me if it airs again.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Martha
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| Posted: March 16 2007 at 1:21pm | IP Logged
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No, I have never seen any of those type of shows, but I would be interested in the Poveys for the same reason you mention.
No one needs to justify why they have this or that, but it is important people understand that having "this or that's" is not what being open to life is about.
To be fair, the Duggars didn't have any of those things until the show - I think? I believe the moneys from the show is what enabled them to do those things?
I would be esp interested in how the Poveys deal with the social pressures. As anti-child as the U.S. may seem, it is my understanding that it's nothing compared to the smaller more dense UK?
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Martha
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Theresa
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| Posted: March 16 2007 at 4:16pm | IP Logged
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I agree with Martha. I am thrilled for the Duggars. If you have seen the previous shows they came from a home with 4 bedrooms I believe? Their entire house previous to the new one was smaller than my home with 4 children!
I believe they built the house with their own money but I think that sponsorships and such came in for decorating and appliances.
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stacykay
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We haven't had cable for a year, now, (I do miss these sorts of shows, plus the educ. ones, but that is another topic  .) Anyhoo, I did see the Duggar one, back when they were having #15, I think? The reporter was asking people about the Duggars, and one person commented on the number of children and how they can afford it. This led to the Duggars discussing how in the first couple of years of their marriage, they decided not to incur any debt. Everything is paid by cash. Most of the toys they showed were second-hand, but I can't recall about the clothes. I think Mr. Duggar (can't recall his- or her- names) did well in real estate and the car business, plus a term in their state's ?senate/congress?
Back to the discussion at hand (boy can I stray!) I would like to read about the Povey's too. I like having a smaller house (2000 sq. ft., not real small, but smaller than most around us.) I like the coziness and closeness, most of the time . I like that the boys all share their rooms. Growing up, I had no siblings around (my sisses are much older) and I often felt lonely.
I know just what you mean, Michele!
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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Donna Marie
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Just today, I was watching the Duggar video where they were building their new home. I am happy for them and all...don't misunderstand. I did find myself feeling a little disappointed towards the end as I would love to have seen them in a more average sized home learning to cope for longer than we saw at the beginning of the program. There are plenty of programs of people moving into their dream homes and so few of people living an average sorta life...much less a larger family...not that I see much of TV anyway. I haven't seen the program that you mentioned, Michele. I wish I did.
I guess it would be nice to witness people showing us how they run a smaller home with less elbow room and actually witness the kind of character or point of view or whatever it takes to make it work.
Silly me, though. I am looking for inspiration or just someone with a like-minded laugh over dealing with such things that you wouldn't necessarily see with lots o' people living in a 7,000 home. I guess you could call frugal living with a larger family more of a developing an art form!  And being one of the only larger families I know around here, it makes me curious to know more of how others do it when they don't have a lot to spare financially.
God Love ya!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 7dc 
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God love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 9dc!!
Finding Elegant Simplicity
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Theresa
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| Posted: March 16 2007 at 7:09pm | IP Logged
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Donna, the Duggars had two shows prior to the one of them moving into their new home that showed exactly what you were wishing to see... how they functioned and lived in their smaller home. From their pantry to how they dealt with out of season clothing to family meals, chores and schooling.
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Paula in MN
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I have seen both shows and I liked them both. They portrayed two different families. They each live their lives in a positive and motivating way.
I remember when watching the Duggars (and I have seen all 3 of their shows) they commented that they had bought 20 acres so that eventually all the children will have homes on the property.
For me, 7000 square feet is a lot of house. Especially when you consider there are only 3 bedrooms -- the Master, one for the boys and one for the girls. All that extra space is taken up with laundry room, bathrooms, pantry, 2 kitchens, family room, school room, and a worship area!
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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Elizabeth
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The Duggars new house is home, school, and church. It functions differently than our homes do. And the land will be divided as the children desire to build their own homes there.
One thing that frustrates me about most houses is that they aren't built for big families. I liked watching the Duggars add things that made sense--like a large laundry room with plenty of storage space. So many homes I know have huge master suites and barely enough room for two beds in a child's room. The Duggars put all the girls in one room--but made sure the room was big enough.
Most pantries today are rather small (nothing like the pantry of Laura Ingalls)and reflect cooking for a small family and eating out. The Duggars pantry looked like they cook at home and buy in bulk. The new house is beautiful, but is also sensible.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Erin
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An acquaintance of mine (in her 30s)is the youngest of nineteen children; she is from Ireland. I asked her just recently about family logistics. They lived in an average size house and I believe several children in bedrooms and I think some even shared beds.
What makes me really sad is that she has chosen to only have two and most of her siblings have chosen the same. Not judging her but it makes you stop and wonder what will our dc do? Off topic, sorry 
I like the idea of all the same gender together. When we build again(yep again  ) we're considering doing bigger rooms with all the boys together.
I enjoyed watching the Duggar's, you could easily see what they had come from and it was great to see them be able to 'spread out'.
Donna Marie, if you want a largeish family (nine) in a very small house that's us
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Erin
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MarieC
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Erin wrote:
| What makes me really sad is that she has chosen to only have two and most of her siblings have chosen the same. Not judging her but it makes you stop and wonder what will our dc do? |
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I wonder about this same thing. Two of my dad's siblings had 7 and 9 children. Many of those children have had only a few...there are a couple of 4 children families and one with 5 but most have 2 or 3. I keep imagining bunches of grandchildren...but who knows?
Back to the topic....I've never seen any of these large family tv shows, but they sure sound interesting.
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Martha
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| Posted: March 17 2007 at 10:31am | IP Logged
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huh. makes me wonder...
Will I lose what little respect I get if we buy a bigger home?
We are 10 in 1100 sq ft. now and boy oh boy is it ultra clean and organized! Necessity and all that you know, plus we are trying to sell it so it has to always be in show condition.
I also worry about my children not wanting children, or not many children, because they came from a large family. However, this seems to run in alternate generations no matter what the family background. My mil is #5, the youngest and only had 1. None of her siblings had more than 2 and one never married. My mom was 6 of 14 and had the most (4) and only one other sibling had 3. I'm the youngest of 4 by 10 years and the only sibling to have more than 2.
I try my best to watch what I say and how we approach things. Restate the best of having a large family, reduce the negatives. I think much of it depends on who they marry.
For me, it's not whether they have a large family or not that worries me. I truely don't care about that. It's possibly not being open to children, however many, that bothers me. It they marry older, have serious problems, or whatever and are only able to be blessed with 1 or 2 -I'll think that's awesome. However, if they simply do not want children or more children - that will hurt some.
I pray regularly for them to marry a good spouse. I think this is key, more important than education or finances. Even though my dh is not Catholic, it would be near impossible for me to comprehend our life without him. A good spouse can be a genuine gift to over-comming fears and worries. Doesn't make them go away by any means, but makes hard times easier to bear. Most couples I meet who are scared of having more children or any children - it boils down to their marriage relationship. Not money, not selfishness, not health, not even not wanting children. They are scared and fear is ruling in their home.
Just my personal reflections and observations.
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Martha
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Nina Murphy
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Wow....
[I'm with Elizabeth exactly. I truly get frustrated at how small the homes are in Northern CA (and how expensive) and how crunched most of my friends and I (with even moderately sized families) are. Right now, we are extremely challenged by space logistics and a small kitchen and no place for the kids to play safely unmonitored, but that is part of our offering to Christ in living out this vocation in these modern times. We don't see any alternative.]
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~~Nina
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: March 17 2007 at 8:14pm | IP Logged
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Well, I can't speak for the Duggar's or Povey's or anybody else.
My house isn't new and it isn't upscale, but at least we're comfortable.
I have a small laundry room and a small pantry, but at least I have them.
Even though I don't have the best, I hope I'm as grateful as Ma Ingalls was to have a roof over her head and a door and four walls around her in those many Little Houses she lived in. She knew what it was like to live in a small one/two room house with many bodies.
America is a rich country. We are all blessed.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
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Lisbet
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| Posted: March 18 2007 at 3:49pm | IP Logged
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It's not so much the lofty home and appliances or material items that the Duggars have. (How great that they have worked to have those things, I think we all know how those things would make large family life run a bit smoother), and again, I truely think they are a wonderful and inspiring example to all of us.
There's just something that I can't put my finger on though, that makes me a bit, um, uncomfortable about them. I just don't know how I could articulate it, and in all honesty it's probably the fault of the show that I feel this way, as I'm sure that real life day to day living is a bit more gritty than the shows have portrayed!
And maybe that right there is it. Those of us with big families want to see how other big families 'do it'. We want to see the day to day nitty gritty of homeschooling, housework, dicipline, fianances, etc... of these mega families, not a sugary display for TLC, am I right? I dunno...
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Sherry
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| Posted: March 20 2007 at 3:14pm | IP Logged
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Well, I have 14 children, but only 12 at home. Before we moved here (3500ft2), there were 14 of us in a 1500ft2 house. We had 6 in one bedroom, 4 in another, one in a "sort of" bedroom (without a door), and one roomed with us. It was sooo nice to finally have more room, although we still have 4 in one bedroom, 3 in another, and 2 in 2 more (the baby is with us).
I love watching the Duggars, and in many ways they were inspiration to us, but I try and keep myself from comparing with them because God takes us all from very different places and has different purposes for us to fulfill.
I only have one washer, but it is a front loader and does at least 4 loads a day. I have a dryer, but I have done without before, sometimes on purpose--hanging out laundry in the summer is such a pleasure.
We currently own a 15 pass. van, and this is our second, although before we bought it last spring we had a suburban and a little commuter car.
One thing that you might want to consider is that, although a family may be quite large, the older children begin having their own vehicles, their own schedules, and even be out on their own. This cuts down on lots of the need for industrial-sized everything, although there is still a lot of that around here.
As for continuing the tradition of largeness--our oldest daughter loves the idea, and is already on her 2nd, our oldest son is planning on marrying someone who will be in agreement for lots of little children, and our second daughter is not so sure. I think what you might consider is that it's not just up to them, but also their spouses. I remember hearing that my parents originally wanted 12, but when real life started happening, they only had my sister and myself.
BTW, if you have questions on how we have "coped", not just in our bigger numbers, but as we were growing through the years, feel free to ask me.
We are a little more average than the Duggars--our girls don't all have long hair and we don't wear the same clothes, etc., even though I see the brightness of some of those ideas. We do have a "dress code" and more rules than lots of families--just out of necessity. We actually tried relaxing quite a bit, and the results were unimaginably disastrous! We are much more comfortable with loving standards in place!
Sherry
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Nina Murphy
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I, for one, would be thrilled to hear about your rules, and anything else about your life, Sherry, and am so happy about how many you've had in a bedroom!
What I'd be especially interested in is how YOU have coped and how your pregnancies/postpartum have been. And I'd like to ask the Duggar mom and the Povey mom that, too, come to think of it!!!!
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~~Nina
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: March 20 2007 at 5:24pm | IP Logged
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Sherry wrote:
One thing that you might want to consider is that, although a family may be quite large, the older children begin having their own vehicles, their own schedules, and even be out on their own. This cuts down on lots of the need for industrial-sized everything, although there is still a lot of that around here.
Sherry |
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Very true, Sherry. People seem to forget that. It's like when they hear you have five children they look at you with that pathetic look as though you have five children in diapers at the same time. Like what's wrong with that anyway?
Like Nina, I would love to hear more about all aspects of your life. Not to be nosy but I'm looking at you in admiration.
Forget the Hollywood stars and their lifestyles. I want to hear about yours.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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Cay Gibson
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Sherry,
I don't suppose you have a blog?  or do you?
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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Lisbet
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Cay, I've heard a rumor that she's got something in the works! I'd REALLY like to hear more about the rules you have established in your family and how you have consistantly followed them through.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: We have 15 children
