Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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WayTruthLife
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Posted: March 13 2007 at 10:16pm | IP Logged Quote WayTruthLife

I had a phone conversation with my mother tonight that I'm still upset about. My mom is Catholic but lukewarm. I was talking to her about how my husband and I get very discouraged with people (stores, media, etc) who glorify the Easter bunny and forget the real meaning of Easter! She said that I have to keep in mind that is how WE feel and that not everyone believes the same way we do. I get very upset with her relativism mentality. I love my mom dearly and don't want to damage our relationship but at the same time I worry about her spiritually. Of course, I never know what to say and I stumble for words and make a bafoon out of myself. So I said to her that it still didn't make it right. I think she thinks we are "too" Catholic. This isn't the first time she's said something of this sort. I get very discouraged. What are some kind and gentle things I could say to her? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening to me vent!

-Tricia
Wife and Mother to 5 dc!
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hylabrook1
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Posted: March 14 2007 at 7:35am | IP Logged Quote hylabrook1

Tricia -

I don't know what to say to your mother. I just wanted to say that sometimes when we decide to do things differently from the choices our parents made, they get defensive or hurt because it feels to them like a criticism of the way they raised us. Also, sometimes they have been looking forward to sharing certain things with their grandchildren which they now think won't be okay with you. It gets to be a tricky situation; you don't mean anything against your parents and they know these are your decisions to make with regard to your children. Sometimes everyone just needs a little time to process things and adjust their expectations.

Peace,
Nancy
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WayTruthLife
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Posted: March 14 2007 at 9:16am | IP Logged Quote WayTruthLife

Nancy,
You hit the nail on the head! There have been times in the past where I have told my mom that will not be raising our children a certain way and I know it makes her feel like she failed because that's how she raised us. Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I know what my mom needs most of all is prayers.
-Tricia
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juststartn
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Posted: March 22 2007 at 1:35pm | IP Logged Quote juststartn

Tricia, I am dealing with similar issues with my mom...even more so since I have "abandoned" the church of my raising and am now a Catholic--and quite fervently so...drives her nuts (which almost makes me want to LOL)....

I agree--I don't "do" easter bunny stuff decor around here, and I REALLY wish I could find things (not in a catalog, just in stores) that were less secular, and more religious oriented (it's so easy to go hog wild when looking thru a catalog).

My oldest dd is getting a handmade rosary (pewter wire wrapped, pewter center and crucifix, purpley-gray potato pearls, and glass hearts) for this Easter, but I don't have the time, the money, or any ideas for my younger two (who are only 4.5 and 2.5 anyway), and Easter is RAPIDLY approaching.

There are NO Catholic bookstores within easy driving distance, and I am loathe to visit the very protestant bible book stores around here....since I cannot drive to Raleigh (1 1/2 hrs away) as I am on bedrest...

UGH

Why does it have to be so hard? Its almost as bad as at Christmas...

Rachel

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mandamum
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Posted: May 14 2007 at 8:50pm | IP Logged Quote mandamum

Just wanted to throw in the suggestion that when you know (or suspect) that a topic will make your mother feel judged for having done it differently, you might address that up front, by letting her know that you really appreciate how she raised you, and want to build on that. Instead of having it be, "I've decided to not do this thing you did," it can become a "you gave me this gift (faith, love of Jesus, love of family traditions, whatever it might be) and that has allowed me to build on it in this way (focusing family tradition toward faith symbols instead of bunnies, etc).

--Amanda
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