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Subject Topic: Tights? Boots?Modesty when it's cold Post ReplyPost New Topic
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Erin
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Posted: Nov 22 2006 at 8:16pm | IP Logged Quote Erin

JennGM wrote:
I had a discussion with my dh today about wearing skirts, told him I was trying to wear them more often. He agrees skirts are feminine, but doesn't think pants aren't, and that I shouldn't eliminate my pants altogether. And under no circumstances should I wear denim skirts or jumpers. It showed me that I definitely need to talk with him!


I have to say that often denim dresses don't appear to me as being that feminine unless they are soft denim. I think of the tough denim as rather a masculine material. Often useful if you are doing hard work that needs that durability but not one that makes me feel more feminine. Translation here: I believe what you call jumpers we call pinafore dresses, am I correct? Jumpers here are called pullovers or cardigans (depending which continent you are on )

I tend to think of the more flowing cotton skirts as being feminine. You lnow where you and your dd's can have twirly competitions to see whose flair out the most

On the mention of the lady who climbed the mountain in a skirt, I believe I have read stories of women who have fallen to their death due to not dressing sensibily whilst mountain hiking. There are situations which call for prudence.

Elizabeth,
Never having been that cold I hesitate to make suggestions, but as you feel convinced to wear a skirt and money is tight at present could you where you ski pants under your skirt? Never having worn ski pants I apologise if this is an impractical suggestion.

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Posted: Nov 22 2006 at 8:44pm | IP Logged Quote BrendaPeter

Erin wrote:

Elizabeth,
Never having been that cold I hesitate to make suggestions, but as you feel convinced to wear a skirt and money is tight at present could you where you ski pants under your skirt? Never having worn ski pants I apologise if this is an impractical suggestion.


Several years ago we went on a skiing vacation as a family. Since my dc & dh ski, my dh thought I should take a skiing lesson. The only 2 people in the group ski class were me and an orthodox Jewish woman. The reason I knew she was Jewish is because she wore a knit black skirt over her ski pants. I was absolutely edified at the time. The fact that she was a much better at skiing than me was also impressive!

Speaking of orthodox Jews, we've run into quite a few of them whenever we've vacationed in New Hampshire. They dress EXTREMELY modestly - both men and women wear long sleeves in the heat of the summer. We've also stayed at the same hotels they're booked in. When that has happened we've had the swimming pool to ourselves. I assume they don't go swimming - at least not in public.

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Posted: Nov 22 2006 at 9:12pm | IP Logged Quote Cheryl

Since you're bringing up skiing with a skirt, would you golf in one? Last night my dh said you can't golf in a skirt. I didn't have an opinion because it's cold and I have a baby...it's not like I'll be golfing anytime soon.

I appreciate the fashion advice. I think I'll probably need to get black and brown boots, a coat (dressy or casual??? or both?) an apron and some slippers. There, I made a good Christmas list.

My first day in a skirt went well. I changed diapers and baked two pies. I was a little bit worried about getting dirty, but that's probably because the skirt was new. This morning my dh told me my skirt was hot tamale-ish. (He likes to make up words.) Because I was a teeny bit afraid he'd find such a long denim skirt frumpy, I thought it was very sweet of him.

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Posted: Nov 22 2006 at 9:28pm | IP Logged Quote BrendaPeter

JennGM wrote:


But I agree with MicheleQ that one shouldn't stress out about making skirt-wearing mandatory. There are situations where I'm just not going to ruin my stockings, shoes or skirts in the name to remain feminine. We were changing out storm windows, working outside hanging lights, a few examples. In that case it's more "prissy" and not helpful staying in the skirt.

Everything in moderation and practicality. I was at a prayer circle which discussed this, and everyone agreed that stating "never pants" is a bit extreme.


I wonder if any of you have experienced this but part of the "never pants" thing for me has been that I can't bare to see myself in pants anymore. I find that unless my backside is completely covered, I look absolutely horrible. I have seen a few women who look "good" in tailored loose-fitting pants, but that's pretty rare. It may be just a personal preference thing on my part.

I do have more of an "extreme" personality so maybe that's why skirts work for me. I'm also not the most athletic/active woman (walking is a perfect exercise for me), so that may be another reason. I have a back-up pair of pants but haven't had the need to use them in the past 3 years. I was very blessed to switch over to skirts the same time as 2 close friends. We all supported each other and we're all still wearing skirts exclusively.

Another factor is that my dh & I have had pretty traditional roles within our marriage and they have gotten more & more traditional with the years. My husband is very active & loves to play sports with the kids so I rarely do that. Although I am a big fan of badminton and have found that a full skirt does not hinder me from playing.

Lately I've been "kicking" my dh out of the kitchen. I used to love having him help me out (mostly as an excuse for me to be lazy ) but lately I feel more called to embrace my role as keeper of the hearth and home. I see the change in my husband as well. As our roles have evolved, my husband rarely asks me to help him out with projects. Does he think I'm too "prissy" in my skirt? I think he simply sees that my role is different from his. We also have 2 older sons who love to help dad out so I'm sure I'm not needed as much as you are Jenn, with your one little guy.

We recently listened to "The Yearling" on tape and one part that really struck me was the description of Grandma Hutto (in sharp contrast to Ma Baxter). I'm not able to find the exact quote but it went something along the lines that Grandma Hutto was the type of woman that made a man feel more like a man. Wouldn't our society be a very different one if more women were like Grandma Hutto? Wearing skirts may not make a difference for some of you in terms of feminity, but I've found it to be pretty revolutionary for me.



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Posted: Nov 22 2006 at 9:50pm | IP Logged Quote Helen

I hope what I say is not going to deter wearing of skirts, but for me, the exclusive wearing of skirts is a sign of my weakness. I have fallen so many times with the issue of modesty that I have taken a very strict interpretation of the modesty rules.

This stubborn (vain) donkey needs a tight rope!



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Posted: Nov 22 2006 at 10:22pm | IP Logged Quote Bridget

Helen wrote:
I hope what I say is not going to deter wearing of skirts, but for me, the exclusive wearing of skirts is a sign of my weakness. I have fallen so many times with the issue of modesty that I have taken a very strict interpretation of the modesty rules.

This stubborn (vain) donkey needs a tight rope!



Beautifully put, Helen. Me too.

I am so grateful that someone mentioned Christopher and Banks. I had never heard of them. (I am so not a shopper.) But it turns out there is one near me and they do have nice, long skirts. I can see where they would not fit petite ladies. i found two that were long enough for me and were only 9.99 each. This 6 ft. gal is very happy.

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Posted: Nov 23 2006 at 6:54am | IP Logged Quote Lisbet

Are you really 6ft. Bridget?? Wow! My best friend in high school was 6'2" (as tall as my husband! I'm a little ole 5'2", so everything is long on me!)

I am the kind that needs an all or nothing approach. I think that's why I have gone circles around this issue so much. Plus this time I have read so much more, and the more I read, the more I am convinced.

I am a pretty active person too, lots of hiking, biking, camping, etc... I have been able to do all of the above in a skirt.

I agree that the denim is not the prettiest or most feminine. I have one denim skirt and it's more trendy than feminine. (it's a cargo style) I much prefer knit skirts and such.

Cheryl, I have 2 black knit skirts that I wear during the week at home. They are the two most comfy skirts ever, I can move with ease throughout my day. If we head out for more than a walk about the neighborhood I will sometimes slip a different (prettier) one on. They are my 'workhorse' skirts.

I love the hot tamale-ish comment! Too cute!

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Posted: Nov 23 2006 at 7:01am | IP Logged Quote Cheryl

Lisbet wrote:
I have 2 black knit skirts that I wear during the week at home. They are the two most comfy skirts ever, I can move with ease throughout my day. If we head out for more than a walk about the neighborhood I will sometimes slip a different (prettier) one on. They are my 'workhorse' skirts.


Where do you buy your comfy black skirts?

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Posted: Nov 23 2006 at 7:12am | IP Logged Quote Lisbet

I'm afraid I'm going to have to admit, in a whisper....


Wal Mart

................scurrying off.................

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Posted: Nov 23 2006 at 7:26am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

Cheryl,
Land's End knit skirts are my favorite. I have an LLBean one that is great too but I don't see it in the catalog any more.

Brenda wrote:
I wonder if any of you have experienced this but part of the "never pants" thing for me has been that I can't bare to see myself in pants anymore. I find that unless my backside is completely covered, I look absolutely horrible. I have seen a few women who look "good" in tailored loose-fitting pants, but that's pretty rare. It may be just a personal preference thing on my part.


Perhaps I have an extreme personality, too. I remember a couple of years ago when Mary Chris and I went to the pool after a modesty thread like this one. I felt much more sensitized to the immodesty around me. Mary Chris commented that she felt the same way.

Then, several threads like these have floated around these boards, each one making me further aware. I'm not 6 feet tall. I'm barely 5'2" and very high waisted. In the past few years, waists on pants have crept ever further south. They don't fit me right! That, combined with the sense that I am showing way too much of a matronly figure, and suddenly, I feel naked if not in a skirt. I think Bridget had a great quote about modesty and middle aged women that would fit nicely here. (I'd look for it but I have about three minutes till Karoline demands me.)

We left the freezing soccer game and went to my sister's house. My sister is hip and happening. With the help of a skilled surgeon she is on the brink of forty but looks like a teenager. And she dresses hip and happening too! She has an unlimited bank account and is very trendy. The stark contrast was so evident that evening. She wore tattered jeans and top that bared just a little belly (my kids did wonder how she could have so mouch money and have holes in her jeans). And my children thought her very odd. "She doesn't dress like a mommy." I think she makes is hard on herself when she needs to act like a mommy, but I doubt she'd see the connection. Incidentally, I didn't feel frumpy. I was wearing one of those skirts linked above, black tights and black clogs and a hooded sweater tunic. As soon as I began to thaw, I felt quite at ease, despite her hip-ness. And remember, I'm six weeks postpartum--I wouldn't have looked like that in jeans anyway. Come to think of it, I've never looked like that in jeans . Actually, dresses would probably suit me best, figurewise, but they really aren't practical as long as I'm nursing.


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Posted: Nov 23 2006 at 7:30am | IP Logged Quote Lisbet

Elizabeth, did you check out the link I posted above? She has lots of small and x-small nursing dresses from Milk and Wild Honey on sale for $25. www.wallypop.net


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Posted: Nov 23 2006 at 7:55am | IP Logged Quote Bridget

Elizabeth wrote:
I think Bridget had a great quote about modesty and middle aged women that would fit nicely here.


"Modesty is what keeps you from being an occasion of sin to others when you are young and fit, and from making a spectacle of yourself when your not."



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Posted: Nov 23 2006 at 8:28am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

Lisbet wrote:
Elizabeth, did you check out the link I posted above? She has lots of small and x-small nursing dresses from Milk and Wild Honey on sale for $25. www.wallypop.net


I did. My bust doesn't qualify as a small .

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Posted: Nov 23 2006 at 8:43am | IP Logged Quote Carole N.

Okay. I have been following this thread with great interest. For a long time, I wore skirts and jumpers almost exclusively. Not necessarily making a modesty statement, but that is what I wore. A couple of women that I know made comments to me such as "You always wear dresses." One of my friends cautioned me about being one of those "women" who never put on a pair of pants.

Okay, so on the soccer field, I thought that perhaps some jeans might be nice. Trying to find some that fit is another situation. I am not exceptionally tall nor to I have the best figure (read matronly). All the other moms were in jeans and hoodies. Of course, they were all young and thin (I am a late in life mother).

I also thought that on those long, dreary days, pants would be okay to wear when I had no running around to do.

But pants are not as comfortable as a skirt or jumper. So I am rethinking this issue. And looking at it from a new viewpoint. My dd is 11. She is very modest, but still likes to wear pants and jeans. Which can be hard to find in her size that fit and cover.

I think I will continue to check out some of these links, have a discussion with my dh keeping in mind Brenda's comments about traditional roles (this is the type of marriage that we have), and Bridget's quotation about modesty.

Perhaps boots and a skirt would look just fine on the soccer field. Thanks ladies.

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Posted: Nov 23 2006 at 11:02am | IP Logged Quote Lisbet

Sorry Elizabeth (well, not about your bust size, but that they don't work for ya ) I'm, um, small from the top down, I just don't have the funds for one right now.

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Posted: Nov 23 2006 at 11:12am | IP Logged Quote MicheleQ

Elizabeth wrote:

Land's End knit skirts are my favorite. I have an LLBean one that is great too but I don't see it in the catalog any more.


I got an e-mail fron Land's End this morning offering free 2 day shipping (no minimum purchase required) for myself and 5 friends. If anyone wants to use the code e-mail me and I'll send it to the first 5 people who ask. DON'T PM me if you want it because I often forget about my PM box and may miss it.

It's valid until 11:59 CST 11/27/06.

God bless and Happy Thanksgiving!!

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Posted: Nov 23 2006 at 11:35am | IP Logged Quote JenniferS

I have been following this thread. It is very timely for me, as this is an issue I have just happened upon in the past few months. I haven't made the jump into dresses and skirts only, but is something that I've been comntemplating and I've even discussed it with our parish priest. Our priest is very positive about it. My dh, however, balks at the idea. HE says I already dress modestly in pants. I think he is afraid that dresses and skirts will hamper my activity(and some of the activities I should be doing are already hampered as I am a terrible housekeeper, but I have been improving).

Reading this thread and looking at the posted links has helped. I can wear skirts and be active. I think the idea of cotton tights or leggings underneath would help, as hose make me want to NOT move at all.

Anyway...I am thankful for this thread, as it has given me much to think about. This board has been a real blessing to me and my family in the short time I have been a member. Thanks ladies.

Jen
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Posted: Nov 23 2006 at 2:03pm | IP Logged Quote Meredith

Here's a few thoughts:
Skirting the Truth

I LOVE my skirts and haven't worn pants for anything since early June of this year. My husband loves it and totally supports it and has never mentioned that he missed pants or shorts on me either. Just my .02

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I'm also eyeing the LLBean field boots for Xmas!!

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Posted: Nov 23 2006 at 9:27pm | IP Logged Quote MicheleQ

MicheleQ wrote:
Elizabeth wrote:

Land's End knit skirts are my favorite. I have an LLBean one that is great too but I don't see it in the catalog any more.


I got an e-mail fron Land's End this morning offering free 2 day shipping (no minimum purchase required) for myself and 5 friends. If anyone wants to use the code e-mail me and I'll send it to the first 5 people who ask. DON'T PM me if you want it because I often forget about my PM box and may miss it.

It's valid until 11:59 CST 11/27/06.

God bless and Happy Thanksgiving!!


I have 2 left!



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Posted: Nov 23 2006 at 11:08pm | IP Logged Quote stacykay

Cheryl wrote:
Since you're bringing up skiing with a skirt, would you golf in one? Last night my dh said you can't golf in a skirt. I didn't have an opinion because it's cold and I have a baby...it's not like I'll be golfing anytime soon.


Have you ever seen the movie, I think it is called "Pat and Mike?"   With Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy. K. Hepburn is a woman golfer, and if I remember right, the scenes with all the lady golfers, they were all wearing skirts. Not being a golfer, I don't know how difficult it would make it?

My question would be related to horse back riding? I know, in the past, women have worn skirts, but that was mostly sidesaddle? I used to ride all the time, years ago, and now my 11yods has gotten the riding bug.

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