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alicegunther
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Natalia wrote:
I know what you mean Helen. Many times I don't post things because I feel that nobody would care. But the truth is if we are to be a community we need to get passed those feelings. We have to trust that the people here do care for those little inconsequential details that are the make up of my daily life. I know that people care about the big trials and the big questions but I would like to think that people here would also care about the simpler things.
Natalia |
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We absolutely do, Natalia, and sometimes I think it is the little things that bring us closer, highlight our common experiences, and make us go from "members" to "friends."
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Love, Alice
mother of seven!
      
Cottage Blessings
Brew yourself a cup of tea, and come for a visit!
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Martha
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I completely agree with Alice! The little things are what people who know and love you notice and miss the most!
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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Helen
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Natalia wrote:
| But the truth is if we are to be a community we need to get passed those feelings. We have to trust that the people here do care for those little inconsequential details that are the make up of my daily life. I know that people care about the big trials and the big questions but I would like to think that people here would also care about the simpler things. Natalia |
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I need to hang this quote on my computer. Thank you Natalia for such a beautiful insight.
Maybe this is how online communites (and this one in particular) become 4Real!
__________________
Ave Maria!
Mom to 5 girls and 3 boys
Mary Vitamin & Castle of the Immaculate
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PDyer
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Martha wrote:
| Completely off topic, but I was wondering if maybe it would be nice to have a forum for those with "onlys"? Those home schooling only 1 child, either the last chick in the nest or those with only 1 child. I have 3 dear friends who often are at a loss for support hs-ing an only and can see a need for this be welcomed. As Catholics we tend to assume otherwise, but there are some very devoted catholics home schooling only 1 child that could use practical support for their particuliar situation, imho. |
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I'd love this, although I'm praying to have my daughter home in the fall. Then I'd have two, five years apart, being homeschooled...when I'm with one, no one is with the other; one likes crafts, the other runs away...you get the picture.
__________________
Patty
Mom of ds (7/96) and dd (9/01) and two angels (8/95 and 6/08)
Life at Home
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alicegunther
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Martha wrote:
| Completely off topic, but I was wondering if maybe it would be nice to have a forum for those with "onlys"? Those home schooling only 1 child, either the last chick in the nest or those with only 1 child. I have 3 dear friends who often are at a loss for support hs-ing an only and can see a need for this be welcomed. As Catholics we tend to assume otherwise, but there are some very devoted catholics home schooling only 1 child that could use practical support for their particuliar situation, imho. |
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As the only child of very devout parents, I would say this makes quite a bit of sense and is well worth considering.
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Love, Alice
mother of seven!
Cottage Blessings
Brew yourself a cup of tea, and come for a visit!
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guitarnan
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I'd say, further, that there's a place and perhaps a special ministry to assist Catholic moms with only 1-3 kids. One of my best friends (from high school) told me this summer she feels left out because she only has 2 children...most people don't realize how long it took for her to conceive #1 (and how much faith it took for her to say no to in vitro, etc.) and then to also have #2. She says she feels less Catholic because she only has 2, and that this feeling is reinforced by some of the Catholic magazines she reads.
(I have only 2, as well, and had great difficulty conceiving dd2, but hadn't worried too much about what other Catholics thought, or how my family is perceived...my children are 6 years apart. Perhaps, as a military family, we move so often I don't worry about criticism?)
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Sarah in SC
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guitarnan wrote:
I'd say, further, that there's a place and perhaps a special ministry to assist Catholic moms with only 1-3 kids. One of my best friends (from high school) told me this summer she feels left out because she only has 2 children...most people don't realize how long it took for her to conceive #1 (and how much faith it took for her to say no to in vitro, etc.) and then to also have #2. She says she feels less Catholic because she only has 2, and that this feeling is reinforced by some of the Catholic magazines she reads.
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I can second this emotion! Sometimes it seems that one doesn't "qualify" unless there's enough quantity. 
Sadly, I think people make judgments based on family size at both ends of the spectrum--even very well meaning people.
Praying for your friend.
__________________
Happy wife to Tom and mama to Mac, 12, Hannah, 8, Rosemary, 6, Luke, now 1! and the 9 little angels that Mary is rocking.....
"What good shall we then do with today?" --Benjamin Franklin
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KC in TX
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Well, I'm one of those should-I-hit-post-or-not-ers. Actually, for the past 3 days I've started 3 posts only to stop short and just walk away because I couldn't articulate my thoughts. I'm extremely self conscious about my writing because it just doesn't come naturally to me.
That said, I love these boards. I've learned so much from everyone about just about everything. Often, I feel I don't contribute much except to say that I'm praying for someone (I do pray for all the intentions even if I do not post that I do). As someone said, (I don't want to lose this to search for it, I think it was Karen), it all boils down to trust. So, I will trust in you all and hit post today. I just wanted to chime in and say thank you all for all you have given to me.
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KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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Michaela
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KC in TX wrote:
| Actually, for the past 3 days I've started 3 posts only to stop short and just walk away because I couldn't articulate my thoughts. I'm extremely self conscious about my writing because it just doesn't come naturally to me. |
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This sounds exactly like me.
I'd love to participate more, however I'm very aware that writing is my weakness. It's been a downhill ride since college 10 years ago.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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ALmom
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I would also say that I do enjoy the links to the blogs - the ones where I just hit once and I can read/see what the discussion is about. It doesn't matter that I don't have a blog, don't comment on them and don't peruse blogs unless there is a connection to the blog from a board discussion I am following. I do want you to know that I dropped out of active discussion of the elegant simplicity threads not because of the blogs (I know e-mail was an option but I'm so computer illiterate, I wouldn't have known how to link a picture, etc.) but because I wasn't going at the same speed as everyone else (my house is still inelegant and the season for me to do something may be a little later). However, I did still enjoy perusing pics, etc. so I did want to say that the bloggers have made it easy and time saving for those of us who are not to look at what we need to/want to.
I love the flexibility of this board as I go through seasons when I can be on or off boards more or less. I need to retire with my dh now - but did want to say that. This is serving real needs - and the woman are all gracious and thoughtful so that while some have become friends because they have opportunities to meet face to face - there are still opportunities for lots of loving support for one another. These are a blessing - but one that I can sometimes get tempted to spend too much time on .
Janet
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Jen L.
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KC in TX wrote:
Well, I'm one of those should-I-hit-post-or-not-ers. Actually, for the past 3 days I've started 3 posts only to stop short and just walk away because I couldn't articulate my thoughts. I'm extremely self conscious about my writing because it just doesn't come naturally to me.
That said, I love these boards. I've learned so much from everyone about just about everything. Often, I feel I don't contribute much except to say that I'm praying for someone (I do pray for all the intentions even if I do not post that I do). As someone said, (I don't want to lose this to search for it, I think it was Karen), it all boils down to trust. So, I will trust in you all and hit post today. I just wanted to chime in and say thank you all for all you have given to me. |
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I can't help myself --I have to quote the whole thing. It's what I'd write if I could write
(Trusting now as I hit post)
__________________
Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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Karen E.
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KC, Michaela, Jen ...
You have nothing to feel self-conscious about! I see nothing inarticulate in the above notes ... just the opposite. You articulated perfectly what you're feeling.
Keep communicating ... don't think of it as writing. Think of it as chatting with friends.
__________________
God bless,
Karen E.
mom to three on earth, and several souls in God's care
Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
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Willa
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marihalojen wrote:
| I just had a very long conversation at our Park Day regarding how shocked they were at how Catholics actually have a “personal relationship with God” and “read the Bible” as was evidenced by you and your blogs. Such a change from previous meetings where snide anti-Catholic comments and misconceptions were the norm! In fact the most Evangelical of them all brought Alice’s Epiphany Tea as a surprise for us all. I was absolutely floored. I still am. |
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Wow, that is simply remarkable! I think it does a lot towards answering the original question Elizabeth posed for discussion: are online communities 4real??
That in spite of our growing pains we are perhaps helping to "make something beautiful for God,". (I wish there were a flower or dove emoticon )
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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Lisa R
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Sarah in SC wrote:
guitarnan wrote:
I'd say, further, that there's a place and perhaps a special ministry to assist Catholic moms with only 1-3 kids. One of my best friends (from high school) told me this summer she feels left out because she only has 2 children...most people don't realize how long it took for her to conceive #1 (and how much faith it took for her to say no to in vitro, etc.) and then to also have #2. She says she feels less Catholic because she only has 2, and that this feeling is reinforced by some of the Catholic magazines she reads.
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I can second this emotion! Sometimes it seems that one doesn't "qualify" unless there's enough quantity.
Sadly, I think people make judgments based on family size at both ends of the spectrum--even very well meaning people.
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Oh this is so much my life! And I have to say I've received most of the judgement from fellow Catholics. It's the main reason I've never felt like I fit in any homeschool group. Judged in the Catholic group for number of children, judged in the Protestant group for being Catholic! 
I will say though that I've never felt judged here on this board for "only" having 2 children when I joined.
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God Bless!
Lisa, married to my best friend, Ray and loving my blessings Joshua (17)and Jacob(15), Hannah(7) and Rachel (5)!Holy Family Academy
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JennGM
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Lisa R wrote:
Oh this is so much my life! And I have to say I've received most of the judgement from fellow Catholics. It's the main reason I've never felt like I fit in any homeschool group. Judged in the Catholic group for number of children, judged in the Protestant group for being Catholic!
I will say though that I've never felt judged here on this board for "only" having 2 children when I joined. |
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Yes, I find this board so open and loving, no matter how many children I have!
It's hard having one child in this society, because it "looks" like I'm doing the acceptable selfish thing of planned children. They don't know the heartaches and heartbreaks we have in our lives.
I had an experience this past Thursday where I met this delightful woman. I was with other members of my family, so we were in a discussion about our children. She quickly asked how many each of us had. My one sister said 4, then I said one, she quickly said "Oh, good for you, you're smart." She moved on in the conversation, while my jaw was dropped! I didn't even have a chance to say, we'd like more, trying for more, or something!
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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PDyer
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JennGM wrote:
| I had an experience this past Thursday where I met this delightful woman. I was with other members of my family, so we were in a discussion about our children. She quickly asked how many each of us had. My one sister said 4, then I said one, she quickly said "Oh, good for you, you're smart." She moved on in the conversation, while my jaw was dropped! I didn't even have a chance to say, we'd like more, trying for more, or something! |
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Statements like this have been made to me more times than I can count. So many times I say nothing, either because I've been struck dumb in shock or I fear sounding uncharitably harsh. I already know I have the potential to sound much more harsh than I intend to sound even when I'm not trying to make a point.  Such a line to trod.
__________________
Patty
Mom of ds (7/96) and dd (9/01) and two angels (8/95 and 6/08)
Life at Home
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Dawn
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People just have no idea when they say things like this. Up here where I live, when someone finds out I have three children, they think I'm crazy and shake their heads at me. If they only knew I'd *love* more.
And they usually are saying this in front of their children!
Of course, telling them I homeschool too is always icing on the cake. 
__________________
Dawn, mum to 3 boys 
By Sun and Candlelight
The Nature Corner
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Erica Sanchez
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I'm really late to the conversation (true in most areas of my life), but I thought I'd post because I feel like I can relate to both sides of this discussion.
I didn't come to this group for friendship. I found myself here, on the email list first, after a talk Maureen Wittmann gave at our local homeschooling conference a few summers ago on living books. Her handouts lead me to Elizabeth's website and then to the email group. (Can I add a short funny story about this? The amount of the emails overwhelmed me! I actually wrote Elizabeth asking to be taken off the list! By the grace of God, she didn't get it or at least I wasn't taken off the list. I joined this forum shortly after.)
So, I didn't come here for friendship. I have loads of Catholic homeschooling friends here in San Diego, many very good, longtime friends, and there are many activities and gatherings happening all the time - too many - ask Lissa!
BUT, friendships found me and I am so very grateful. You women are a part of my life, there is no denying it. I am a better person, mother, wife, educator, and friend for being a part of this group. What I thought I wanted from this group was simply book recommendations. Now, apparently, I want to know what you are eating for dinner, how much make-up you wear, the middle names of your children, and when you'll be coming to San Diego so I can have you over for lunch!
Shorty after I came to these boards, I posted about our then upcoming journey through California. I expected, at most, a short lunch or meeting at a park with any CCMer in California. I'm not sure I even knew there were actually California CCMers at the time! Beautiful, gracious, generous-beyond-belief Chari answered right away and we ended up spending the night with her and her family!! A friendship began. My children consider her children friends even though we've seen each other a total of only 6 days in person.
It was a pay-it-forward kind of thing after that. Katie Newton from the email list was going to be passing through San Diego. She spent 3 nights with us! And, you all know Lissa's story. Talk about celebrity status! I was completely in awe of her and totally intimidated. Now that we've actually been in the same town for 3 or so months...well...I'm still in awe and totally intimidated....maybe just a little less than before! MaryChris is from San Diego and on a recent trip here we were honored to meet her for lunch. Talk about someone you'd want to live next door! We drove up to Disneyland to meet Chari and Robynn. Robynn has invited us several times to join her in L.A. for a field trip. And, lastly, we were oh sooooo close to meeting up with Bridget in Michigan last summer. Next time!
Please don't think I am name-dropping here. Far from it! I write the above for two reasons. First, even way down here in San Diego with the closest member of this board about 3 hours away (until recently!), I have somehow managed to meet these amazing women in person. If any of you aren't too far away from another member here, I say GO FOR IT! It's totally worth it. Meet half way. Make a call. Send a private message or email. You will not be disappointed.
Secondly, while I do feel a close connection, even a friendship with many of you here and know a great deal about your lives, it is different meeting someone in real life. Putting a face, voice, and mannerisms to a written name and post is just different. Not necessarily better, but it does make it seem a little more 'real'. This is just my way of saying that I'm looking forward to meeting many, many more of you somewhere down the road. Catholic Charlotte Mason Homeschooling Conference in Colorado, anyone?
That's one side of it. The other is Natalia's and Irene's and Mary's. I feel pretty much the same way. Or felt. I do think it had mostly to do with my own feelings, though, rather than blogs in and of themselves. It seemed something great was happening and I was being left behind. As I have no intention of ever having a blog, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to keep up, fit in, whatever. To be honest, like others have said, a blog seems one-sided (as it is intended to be) and my side wouldn't be heard. My side being cute kids, cool craft ideas, great book recommendations, philosophical discussions on homeschooling or parenting or.....well, cute kids anyway! Out of that list, that's about what I've got! Oh, and maybe Party Planning 101! I digress. But really, that is all just prideful thinking on my part! Honestly, I love all of your blogs and would visit them all. I can't do that anymore and be a good mom and teacher.
But, I can visit this board and will more regularly. I'm a feast or famine member here - weeks will go by without a visit and then I'll spend three long, late nights in a row trying to catch up, this being my third night! I know I don't contribute as much as the big-hitters, but if any of you ever need a place to stay or eat in San Diego, you've got it!
Mary M. - You are the QUEEN of 'the facts' and I for one have benefitted immensely from them and you! 
Natalia - I fondly remember your posts back when I first joined about exercise! Inspirational! 
Irene - You are loved by me and everyone here!
Cheryl - I've wanted to be your friend ever since you posted about wearing your trendy sister's hand-me-downs!!! We have a lot in common, friend!
I do believe this is the longest post I have ever written and I can't imagine that anyone will even read this far, but let me say it is a privilege to be a part, albeit a small part, of this amazing community!
__________________
Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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Willa
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Erica Sanchez wrote:
If any of you aren't too far away from another member here, I say GO FOR IT! It's totally worth it. Meet half way. Make a call. Send a private message or email. You will not be disappointed.
...Secondly, while I do feel a close connection, even a friendship to many of you here and know a great deal about your lives, it is different meeting someone in real life. Putting a face, voice, and mannerisms to a written name and post is just different. Not necessarily better, but it does make it seem a little more 'real'. |
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Great post, Erica!
While we're talking about this and putting our "real" selves so much on the line, maybe we could talk a bit about how to set first-time IRL meetings up for success? ??? I am not complaining -- most of my first time meetings of list friends go OK -- but it's in spite of me, not because of me, if you know what I mean. It's usually because the person I'm meeting is so warm and kind -- you know who you all are!
I always feel I do not make a good impression IRL.... probably one reason why I come on here where people can't see me and I can't see them. It's gotten sort of funny how many people have told me I don't seem the same IRL as I do online -- unfortunately it doesn't come off sounding like a compliment
So sometime maybe we could talk about some IRL meetings that went GREAT and why you think they did. Maybe this isn't the time to bring it up, on a thread that has already become totally massive, but I thought if I didn't say something about it now when Erica led the way into it, I didn't know when I would... gulp... Ok, posting now!
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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Erica Sanchez
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We need to go to bed, Willa! I was sitting here typing and editing thinking I was all by my lonesome. :) Your question is great. I'll think about on my way to bed and try to post tomorrow. :)
When I think of you Willa, I think 'gentle'. I can't wait for the day to meet you in person. I shudder to think of your first impressions of me!
__________________
Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Are online communities 4real?
