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Becky Parker
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I really need to clean out and organize my closet of clothes. I also need to update it, but money is tight so I can't do too much in that area. But, what would you say are the essentials for a stay at home, 46 yo mom who likes to look nice even though she just had a baby and is overweight ?  Seriously though, I'm trying to pare down to the essentials to simplify and also update a little so I don't feel so frumpy all the time. I just thought I'd ask the fashionistas here for some advice!
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SeaStar
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If you like jeans, I love jeans in the darker colors that are in fashion these days. They are very slimming, and usually you can catch them on sale at Kohls - even better if you have a coupon.
Dark colors on bottom and prints/colors on top are always good.
I have a black knit skirt and black knit capris that I love.
Ditch any items that are too big (they make you look heavier), stained, stretched out, pilled, etc. That is easy to do and quickly gives you an idea of what you have to work with.
Then find a few items that make you look and feel good and wear them all the time! It is amazing how wearing an outfit you love can change your attitude for the whole day. You don't need a lot of clothes.... just a few that you love and fit/look great.
PS. I am SO not a fashionista, but it is an area that I am always trying to improve. I want to look nice for my family. Plus I always am much cheerier in clothes that "work" for me.
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: May 05 2011 at 6:58am | IP Logged
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SeaStar wrote:
| I want to look nice for my family. Plus I always am much cheerier in clothes that "work" for me. |
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Thanks SeaStar. I agree with what you're saying. I'm adding in the fact that I'm 46 and the mature styles are more appropriate for me. That's okay though. I would rather look "mature and pulled together" than frumpy and trying to look "younger" if that makes sense.
We have a Kohls in town but I haven't shopped there much for myself. I'll have to go check it out. I'm aslo a bit, ahem, top heavy  especially now that I'm nursing. So that adds another element to deal with.
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SallyT
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I'm 46, too, Becky, and just did a huge purge of my closet after -- and I'm admitting my vanity here -- perusing a number of "fashion over 40" websites and blogs. I'm not the fashionista type *at all,* but realized that I needed some guidance, because I am really clueless. I'm not necessarily going for the same image/effect as a lot of the women who write for these sites, but I found their insights and pictures very helpful as I try to come up with some mental image of "the middle-aged me."
What I purged:
* anything that didn't fit, either too big or too small
*anything stretched out, worn, or otherwise not sharp anymore
*a lot of t-shirts and sweaters: see "stretched-out" above, but also they just don't fit flatteringly and look schlumpy. I saved some things for yard work, but otherwise I committed myself to not wearing anything baggy (even though I'm not thin and my impulse is to hide under my clothes)
*things that were pattern-y (floral skirts, for example) and/or didn't mix easily with several other items in my closet and drawers
Things I kept:
*skirts in solid black and brown, for mixing with various tops. Also two denim skirts in varied lengths (ankle and knee), which I tend to wear instead of jeans these days -- because I don't have jeans, not because I'm opposed to them in any way. Solid, dark bottoms help my pear-shaped figure and are generally slimming, especially with tops in similar colors, to make a unified line of color. Skirts are mostly gored or A-line, though I do have one pencil skirt. I like the look of a long, fairly fitted microfiber tee over my long, gored denim skirt -- hugs some curves but isn't revealing or too tight, and is very comfortable for daily living.
*two black dresses, both in travel knits. One is above-the-knee, one is longer and more body-skimming. Both can dress up or down. I got the longer one from TravelSmith (a solid black Voyager-Knit dress -- if I have time I'll come back and do links), which was not cheap, but which I have worn and worn. The neckline is too low for me, so I wear it backwards, generally with a slim cardigan or a black jacket.
*several other sheath-style dresses I've picked up over the years and which still fit. Again: solid colors, and they dress up or down. A sheath dress which fits, neither too tight nor too loose, with a long cardigan, is a good look. Though if you're nursing, this dress thing obviously doesn't work! Still, you won't be nursing forever . . .
I do have two sheath-style summer jumpers with deep armholes which I used while nursing. One is tencel, the other linen. Got one at TJ Maxx, the other at Thrift Town. I always felt fairly put-together and not-frumpy wearing them, and I still like to pull them out.
And I have one denim jumper, which you can't not, right? Mine has nifty silver buttons and a batik pattern on the bib, so it's fun, and I don't feel too homeschool-mommy in it. I wear it with a fitted tee and Tevas in the summer -- fits my general outdoorsiness.
*a pair of black L.L. Bean "perfect-fit pants," boot-cut. Love them. They don't bag or stretch or pill, and they look good with any number of blouses, tees, and tunic-length shirts.
*cotton drawstring cropped pants I got at Target several years ago: they're a nice, cool cotton sheeting fabric (downside: needs ironing), loosely cut and comfortable, and can dress up or down, though I mostly wear them with a tee and Tevas in hot weather. I just try to make sure the tee isn't too baggy and stretched-out. I have a couple of linen blouses for "nicer," plus one washable silk tunic blouse I bought about 15 years ago in a secondhand shop which dresses up these pants and makes them part of a sort arty resort-wear ensemble, with sandals or Mary Janes (most of my non-sandal or hiking-boot shoes are some variation on the Mary Jane theme).
*one pair of black and one pair of brown "Sweet Nothings" (shaper) leggings to wear under skirts and dresses when it's cold. Best purchase I made last fall -- I wore them constantly all winter long, and they gave both coverage/warmth and an instant funkiness to my otherwise rather boring ensemble.
*shirts: fitted cotton sweaters (out they go the minute they get too stretchy), fairly fitted but not tight tee-shirts in solid colors. A few years ago, when the tight microfiber tee thing came in, I bought a number of these at Target a size or two up from my normal size. That way they're not skin-tight, but they still have some shape and cling which makes them "nicer" and me feel more put-together than if I were wearing an ordinary tee-shirt.
I haven't bought anything new lately, but that purge really focused my wardrobe, and I feel as though I had more to wear, even though I actually have less. My aim is to wear things that don't make me think/stress about what I have on or how I look, which in the long run I hope will be a way out of vanity! I didn't want an image overhaul, just a streamlining and dose of simplicity, which I think is a way to be instantly more mature and chic and confident in your clothes.
And now that it's nine o'clock, I really ought to get dressed in some of those clothes and get on with the day. So chic in my husband's flannel nightshirt . . .
Have fun with your closet-cleaning!
Sally
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Betsy
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Becky,
I just got done reading and implementing the philosopy by Mary Sheenhan Warren in It's So You.
Truly it's been a very freeing experience. What she recommends isn't rocket science but it was the first time that I found it all pulled together in a usable practical fashion.
I just got done purchasing my clothes for my "personal wardrobe" and I found that I spend WAY less than I thought I was. Plus, the areas that I did spend more in, like two good pairs of shoes I felt confident in because they match with all my clothes.
Not to mention she talks a bit about how to maximize on a budget and using thrift stores and consignment shops. She is so realistic and practical.
I can't recommend this book enough!
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Angie Mc
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Becky, I'm in! I'm a newbie at this but am eager to share and learn along with you.
A few months ago our family was sick, laying on the couch, and watching the show "What Not to Wear." When I recovered, I went straight to the computer and figured out my body type (rectangle), frame size (small to average), face shape (oval - yea!), and my color palette (winter into spring).
Next, I went straight to my closet and THREW OUT anything that didn't fit, wasn't becoming, and/or wasn't my color. I threw out A LOT! I figured it was better for me to throw it all out than for the folks at "What Not to Wear" to come and do it for me .
Watching that show was honestly a big motivator and a way to see how with some simple changes, I could quickly improve how I look and feel. I hate, hate, hate to clothes shop but TOO BAD...I needed to get over it. I don't like to spend money on clothes either (because of past failures and costly mistakes) and have shopped thrift stores for years but now I thrift shop better (just look at my colors) AND I now know when to spend bigger bucks to get something perfect!
I've been shopping the first week of the month for clothes for a few months now and slowly am building a wardrobe that works. And I'm having fun with it. For example, I haven't worn yellow for my whole adult life, sensing that I look OBVIOUSLY horrid in it. Well, I learned that I can wear exactly 1 shade of yellow - lemon yellow. Sure enough, I found a perfect lemon yellow top and wore it for Easter. I felt so bright and cheerful!
Go for it, Becky! God made you beautiful!
Love,
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SeaStar
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Sally-
Which blog sites did you find most helpful? Would you mind listing your favorites? I am no spring chicken myself . I like to look for inspiration as well.
Another thing I did recently was to check my clothes for any that could be made over into something more useful. I had a cute Liz Claiborne knee-length denim jumper with a matching coat... very cute, but I am not at all a "jumper" woman. So I whacked off the top of the jumper and folded over the waistline to make a very simple elastic waist. Very easy to do, and now I have a skirt I wear quite often.
I have also been known to whack the lengths off t-shirts that are too long and make them shorter.
I always feel very daring doing this but figure I have nothing to lose.
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SeaStar wrote:
| I have also been known to whack the lengths off t-shirts that are too long and make them shorter. |
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I have the opposite problem...I'd like my T-shirts to be LONGER! I'm b*sty up top and I find that all of my shirts are about 2" too short, so that I'm always pulling them down! Even though I'm a short person! 
Any recommendations for designers/stores/manufacturers that carry longer T's? Or ideas for adding on to the bottom without making it look weird and added-on-to?
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Caroline
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Becky Parker
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Angie Mc wrote:
watching the show "What Not to Wear." When I recovered, I went straight to the computer and figured out my body type (rectangle), frame size (small to average), face shape (oval - yea!), and my color palette (winter into spring).
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I've never seen that show Angie. It sounds like one I need to watch. Wear did you go on line to figure out all the above?
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Becky Parker
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stellamaris wrote:
SeaStar wrote:
| I have also been known to whack the lengths off t-shirts that are too long and make them shorter. |
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I have the opposite problem...I'd like my T-shirts to be LONGER! I'm b*sty up top and I find that all of my shirts are about 2" too short, so that I'm always pulling them down! |
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This is me too!! I have found that Lands End makes longer tee shirts. I look for a lot of tunic type shirts. I couldn't believe how difficult it was to find nice maternity tees this time around. everything was too short or too fitted for my comfort level!
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Becky Parker
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Thanks for sharing what's in your wardrobe Sally. It's fun to read what others have. I need to figure out what I actually need, get rid of what I don't, then make a wish list of what I need to add.
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Betsy
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Angie,
What you did is very similar to what she talks about in It's So You!!!!!
The one additional thing that she really focused on that brought it full circle for me, was building different wardrobes with only 8 pieces of clothing.
Now know I know exactly the colors and styles that look good on me AND I know when I am done shopping for a season! :) It also freed up my budget to spend a bit more on each individual item knowing I was only buying a few tops and bottoms.
Oh, and a little added bonus for me was the help and confidence she provided in accessories. I have never been much of an accessory girl, although I admire them so much on other women. Now, because all my cloths have the same color scheme I feel more bold to venture out into scarves and jewelry.
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cathhomeschool
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Don't have time to read (skimmed and hope to read and respond later!) but wanted to add that some time back I found myself watching lots of What Not to Wear too. Their emphasis isn't always on modesty but they do have great advice on body shape and how to dress so I found it to be a very helpful starting point. I've been purging the closet too and have tried shopping (though I hate it). However I find that if I don't keep the "rules" at the forefront of my mind, I tend to buy the same old things again.
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JodieLyn
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Caroline.. go with a layered look.. grab a second too short tee.. add a strip under the other so that it looks like one shirt over the other.. and add a bit at the neckline as well.. so that you see the color at the bottom at the neck as well.. cute, looks layers, not "weird and added-on-to".
In addition to the above.. a great deal of the time, most people will choose to wear the things in their closet that look good and feel good.. because they'll be happier and they'll get more compliments, often a "you look nice" vs a lot of notice of the particular item. Good clothes make you look good.. not the clothes. 
So the point is that if you wear it often and feel good in it.. it's probably something to keep.. and if it's been in your closet (unless it's something dressier tha only gets used occationally anyway) and you look at it and you like it.. you might even pull it out.. but usually will change your mind or pick something else.. get rid of it.
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Heliodora
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Great advice here already, so I'll try to add a few other considerations.
I think it is very important to have a well-fitting bra, especially when nursing or if you are naturally busty. This can be extremely frustrating and depressing, I know! It is nearly impossible to find good support that you can nurse in. Also, it is important to replace them when they wear out. Clothes look and fit so much better. Cheap bras just aren't worth the money, IMO. Like shoes, you get what you pay for, and it pays to invest in quality over time.
For coverage on top and below, I like to layer with camisoles, and while nursing I like to wear a sweater or shirt over it that I can leave partially buttoned. This also looks more pulled together than trying to find a T-shirt that fits a mature body. Camisoles are cheaper to replace, and you can change an outfit simply by changing the shirt. I stick with basic black/neutral colors on bottom, or a quiet print in a skirt.
Wear v-necks for being larger on top. I avoid scoop necks.
When I find something that I like and that looks good on me, I've started buying two sizes in it- especially skirts, so that I can wear it longer in between babies.
I have learned to be ruthless with clothing in my closet the last couple years- if it doesn't make me feel/look good, I toss it. Clothing does wear out- especially the cheap stuff, and especially when you keep your wardrobe limited to the basics.
I've also started to wash my clothes separately from the rest of the family, on gentle, air dry. My clothes last much longer this way and then I don't have to worry about shrinkage.
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JodieLyn
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actually it's very easy to find good supporting bras.. if you do it online and are able to spend a minimum of $50 per bra. One good site is http://www.birthandbaby.com
but it doesn't make clothing fit better.. it can actually make clothing fit worse.. because there's very few places that make clothing for women with a large cup size and smaller band size. So the vast majority of clothes don't fit well to start with.. and if you get more lift etc.. they fit even worse.
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Servant2theKing
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Becky, the older I get the more I realize that a genuine smile is the best fashion accessory any woman can wear!!! Along with that, being content and comfortable with who you are and how you look, rather than comparing yourself to others, goes a long way in helping a woman look nice, no matter what she's wearing! I'm definitely not a fashionista, so I have no other advice to share...just remember to top off any outfit with a smile and self-assuredness!
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Heliodora
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Jodie, I agree that most clothes don't fit well to begin with, being made of shoddy materials, without enough coverage, and designed for stick-figure women. I disagree, however, that a good-fitting bra doesn't make a woman feel and look better. No, a well-endowed mature woman isn't going to look good in the majority of clothes out there, no matter what she's wearing underneath, lol. I've always found shopping for bras by mail order extremely frustrating, anyway. I've nursed nine children (getting ready for number ten) and while availability is better than it was 16 years ago when I was starting out, my body isn't what it once was, lol, so it's gotten harder.
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Servant2theKing
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I love the discussions over whether the right bra makes a difference in how a woman looks! I had an interesting/embarassing/now-somewhat-amusing experience, while we were dealing with an estate sale for my dear mother's belongings. A woman I'd never met came up and told me I was wearing the wrong type of bra, then proceeded to reach inside my blouse and pull the straps of my bra upward, to demonstrate how much an uplifted cup would completely change the appearance of what I was wearing! She went on to describe how she herself had gone to a specialty shop and been properly fitted for a bra, and how it had absolutely changed her life! Well, I'm sure she was right! I'm sure I could benefit from a better fitting "over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder"! But I just haven't been able to bring myself to follow her advice, mostly because I still haven't gotten over the trauma or bemusement over having a complete stranger approach me in such a manner, especially so soon after losing my dear mother. I guess for now I'll keep wearing my smile and not worry too much about what lies beneath! I pray the rest of you well-endowed ladies never have to experience such a personal affront! I've also finally come to the conclusion that my body changes have been a worthy sacrifice for giving life to the dear children God has blessed us with and my more mature appearance bears testimony to that....along with helping in the area of humility!
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hylabrook1
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Like Betsy, I'm working my way through It's So You! (Well, not exactly like Betsy, who has implemented it! ). I'm stuck between having bought some very nice, not stretched out undies at TJ Maxx and purging my drawers and closet.
What I want to say is that having clothes that fit makes a huge difference! I had been wearing a pair of jeans that were a size larger than I now need (losing just 5 pounds made that difference). When I put on a smaller pair, they fit so much better that I felt like I'd also lost 5 years.
The advice and outlook of It's So You are not to turn us all into fashionistas, but to look like good examples of who we really are. I'm just loving the book!
Peace,
Nancy
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4Real Forums : Our Lady's Loom, Larder, and Laundry
Topic: Can we talk wardrobes?
