Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Subject Topic: Book discussion :: *BOYS SHOULD BE BOYS* Post ReplyPost New Topic
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JodieLyn
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Posted: March 24 2011 at 11:30am | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

Thanks Lindsay, I just linked to the book list since that was what I ran into it for.. I just found it hilarious that just looking for books I accidentally ran into "the topic"

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JennGM
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Posted: March 24 2011 at 1:12pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

cecilia4kids wrote:
A very interesting post by Dr. Laura

http://www.drlaurablog.com/2011/03/24/vote-for-non-union-sin gle-sex-classrooms/


I'm trying to remember which Church documents advocate separation of boys and girls in the classrooms. It's been a long time teaching.

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stellamaris
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Posted: March 24 2011 at 4:31pm | IP Logged Quote stellamaris

I attended an all-girls elementary school back in the day (I won't say which day ). I have very positive memories of it; I do think it encouraged my future interest in engineering and science.

In a homeschool setting, however, we have to take the gender mix we get. However, I think it is much easier to accommodate the curriculum so that each gender can pursue what is most of interest to it.

My girls have always loved crafty and "pretty" things--not only projects, but beautiful leather books, nice handwriting, special papers, etc. Colors and fabrics and environment seem to matter more to them. The boys like the practical, the interactive. They especially love acting act stories as a form of narration. I have one very artistic boy, and he has an interest in color and form, but his art projects generally have a "boyish" slant...ninjas, dragons, knights, castles, and so on.

Yesterday while driving (a looonnnggg way) for a dr.'s appt for my ds, I listened to my boys telling jokes to one another. The content was classic "boy":

Boy: What did the earth say to the worm?
Brother: I don't know, what?
Boy: Nothing!

or how about this gem:

Boy: What did the mechanical cow say to the mechanical rooster?
Brother: I don't know, what?
Boy: Moo, moo, moo!

Why did they love these jokes, you ask yourself? Because these (and all the MANY others) deal with topics that in and of themselves are intensely interesting to boys. Dirt, worms, mechanical devices... none of them NEED to say anything, they just thrill boys by merely existing!

I read the article on the similarity of brain development in boys and girls, and I have to say I think they entirely are missing the boat. The brain may be similar, but what about the action of hormones on the brain and behavior? We women know how powerfully hormones affect our thinking, feeling, interests, and actions. So just looking at the brain development and saying boys and girls are pretty much the same is, imo, inadequate.

Andrew Pudewa gave a very interesting talk a few years back at the HEAV convention on the way boys learn. I'll try to see if I can find any of his articles online. I do remember a few salient facts:
1. Little boys don't hear as well as girls and so both like and need LOUDER noises.
2. Boys have fewer color rods in their eyes (this explains why your husband may not appreciate the subtle differences in the wall paint colors you select).

So much to say...but this post is already too long and rambly~


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Posted: March 24 2011 at 4:36pm | IP Logged Quote stellamaris

Here's the link to a $3 download of Andrew Pudewa's talk. It gives a lot of very relevant information on how boys learn:

Teaching Boys

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JennGM
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Posted: March 24 2011 at 4:43pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

stellamaris wrote:
Here's the link to a $3 download of Andrew Pudewa's talk. It gives a lot of very relevant information on how boys learn:

Teaching Boys


I'll have to listen to that. His talks on music I listened to long ago and they have made a lasting impression.

I remember Mrs. Carroll in Senior Religion at Seton referred to the differences between male and female brains, saying that the connections (synapses?) between the different lobes had less in men, so they think more compartmentalized and women had more, so they were more of multi-taskers or "all over the place" in thoughts more easily. I can't find the scientific explanation (she didn't give the reference) but I would like to find it.

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SeaStar
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Posted: March 24 2011 at 6:16pm | IP Logged Quote SeaStar

In his book, Bringing up Boys, Dr. James Dobson goes into a lot of detail about the effect of testosterone on the brain. It is fascinating.
Girl brains and boy brains are VERY different.

Around 6-7 weeks gestation, a testosterone spike begins masculinizing boys. It alters their tiny brains, even changing its color. The corpus callosum is made less efficient, which limits the number of electrical transmissions that can flow from one side of the brain to the other. Later in life that leads to men having to think longer and harder about what they feel and believe, whereas most women can tell you right away.

He goes on about the many effects of testosterone. After reading all this, I have to say my tolerance for boy behavior went way up. Boys are wired very differently.

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Posted: March 24 2011 at 6:18pm | IP Logged Quote SeaStar

Caroline-

I love your boys' jokes! I am so glad I have a boy in my life... the are maddening but wonderful, aren't they?

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JennGM
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Posted: March 24 2011 at 6:25pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

SeaStar wrote:
In his book, Bringing up Boys, Dr. James Dobson goes into a lot of detail about the effect of testosterone on the brain. It is fascinating.
Girl brains and boy brains are VERY different.

Around 6-7 weeks gestation, a testosterone spike begins masculinizing boys. It alters their tiny brains, even changing its color. The corpus callosum is made less efficient, which limits the number of electrical transmissions that can flow from one side of the brain to the other. Later in life that leads to men having to think longer and harder about what they feel and believe, whereas most women can tell you right away.

He goes on about the many effects of testosterone. After reading all this, I have to say my tolerance for boy behavior went way up. Boys are wired very differently.


That's it, Melinda! That's what I remember!

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Grace&Chaos
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Posted: March 24 2011 at 6:45pm | IP Logged Quote Grace&Chaos

JennGM wrote:
SeaStar wrote:
In his book, Bringing up Boys, Dr. James Dobson goes into a lot of detail about the effect of testosterone on the brain. It is fascinating.
Girl brains and boy brains are VERY different.

Around 6-7 weeks gestation, a testosterone spike begins masculinizing boys. It alters their tiny brains, even changing its color. The corpus callosum is made less efficient, which limits the number of electrical transmissions that can flow from one side of the brain to the other. Later in life that leads to men having to think longer and harder about what they feel and believe, whereas most women can tell you right away.

He goes on about the many effects of testosterone. After reading all this, I have to say my tolerance for boy behavior went way up. Boys are wired very differently.


That's it, Melinda! That's what I remember!


Another good book describing the biological and neurological differences is The Wonder of Boys by Michael Gurian .

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Posted: March 25 2011 at 7:09am | IP Logged Quote SeaStar

We had a classic boy moment here last night.

Usually ds takes a long, loud, splashy bath complete with a collection of tub toys every night. But on cub scout nights he gets home late, and so he takes a shower before bed.

Last night his shower lasted less than a minute.
Dh, suspicious, said: Did you wash your hair?
Ds, looks surprised,: There was no shampoo.
Dh, looks into the tub: You could have asked for some. Did you use soap?
Ds: There was none.
Dh, pulling aside the shower curtain: There's soap- right there.
Ds, peers at it dimly: Oh, I never use soap.
    

Obviously, we have work to do!




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CrunchyMom
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Posted: March 25 2011 at 7:39am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

Well, Melinda, he sounds much cleaner than my boys have ever been if that is his routine

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MicheleQ
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Posted: March 25 2011 at 7:48am | IP Logged Quote MicheleQ

And then they hit puberty and you're like "How can you possibly have used all the soap and shampoo already!?" or "Whoa! Easy on the deodorant/aftershave there son!".

Just sayin' . . .

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Posted: March 25 2011 at 12:41pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

My book is arriving today.. it came in and shipped a day early so I'll get it today instead of Monday, and I checked and UPS says it's in town and out for delivery so it'll be here in about 2 hrs is the typical time they show up at my house

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Posted: March 25 2011 at 3:34pm | IP Logged Quote *Lindsey*

My book arrived a few days ago!

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Posted: March 25 2011 at 9:32pm | IP Logged Quote Kathryn

In response to Melinda and Michele's post, my boy must be getting to that awkward in-between. stage as we can hardly ever get him to brush his teeth and WASH his body in the tub but goodness...he's been dousing himself in Dad's deodorant lately. So much so that I need to buy him the unscented version! I always told DH that DS would get interested in making sure his teeth and body were clean when he became interested in girls! So, I told him to just enjoy the version we have right now as we're certainly not ready for that stage.

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Posted: March 25 2011 at 10:24pm | IP Logged Quote Kathryn

I went over to that Dr. Laura link and looked at another post she had from Dec 2009 that talked about boys and education. Here are what I thought were more relevant to boys. Somewhere on there she said that if you couldn't find a single sex classroom to homeschool! I really need this and this topic as we finished my son's testing thru the university and once again get the push to put him in public school (and medicate) to serve him. Maybe he is on the top end of that boyhood spectrum...or maybe he is the norm!

Below if from Dr. Laura's post...I didn't know how to copy just the one blog post so I just copied the most pertinent info to our topic here.

"Other facts are that boys are more competitive, energetic, visual, physical, risk-taking and so on than are girls. Boys need a different learning environment than girls. The “girly”-oriented educational system in the United States demands that boys become like girls or be medicated.

Boys need more physical movement in the curriculum. They need recesses to work off that male energy, they appreciate reading more male-friendly subjects, they like projects, and they enjoy competing rather than cooperating and all getting the same grade. Boys do better with male mentors, and boys need teachers with more of a sense of humor toward “boy antics” without punishment or demeaning reactions."

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Posted: March 26 2011 at 9:39am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

So, maybe we can brainstorm, but what are "boy antics" you excuse versus what you punish or admonish? I'm afraid I feel a bit sctitzophrenic at times trying to figure what is normal a nd what is normal but I teach them the opposite.

For instance, we have a no potty talk at the table rule. (and by that, we mean ACTUAL potty talk, no problems thus far with the other categories ), but then, I know that boys find the word "poop" hysterically funny for some inexplicable reason. My inclination is to correct that kind of humor in my presence as not polite, but to ignore it if I overhear it as a part of play or such that I wasn't meant to hear.

That is just an example, but well, I can have a sense of humor about something and still not endorse it, yk? Just trying to find the balance between expecting antics but helping them learn the habits to be young gentlemen.

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Posted: March 26 2011 at 10:47am | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

that sounds perfect to me Lindsay.. it's not telling them they're "bad" for something just when and where it's appropriate (or not appropriate).

Teaching them those things is good for them. What's bad for them is when you squash the boyness by having no times or very little times when it's ok to just be a "normal" boy.

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Posted: March 26 2011 at 10:56am | IP Logged Quote Betsy

CrunchyMom wrote:
I'm afraid I feel a bit sctitzophrenic at times trying to figure what is normal a nd what is normal but I teach them the opposite.


I often feel the same way, wondering what is normal vs. bad behavior. In addition, I also wonder how much of the "undesirable" is escalated by having multiple boys close in age? My dh always tries to reassure me that one boy will only cause so much trouble but when there are two or more together much more will happen as they try to show each other up or make them laugh (think college fraternity).

Needless to say I agree with much of what has been said so far in the conversation and I am interested in the continued conversation.



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Posted: March 26 2011 at 9:52pm | IP Logged Quote Mackfam

Just a quick reminder before we close for Sunday. Our exciting BOYS SHOULD BE BOYS discussion begins on Monday! I'll post the first thread on the following topics sometime Monday!

Mackfam wrote:
WEEK 1 --- March 28 - April 2
:: Introduction - The Seven Secrets to Raising Healthy Boys
:: Chapter One - Boyhood Under Siege
:: Chapter Two - Bucking Peer Pressure


Can't wait!!

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