Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Cay Gibson
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Posted: Aug 16 2008 at 10:03am | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

I wasn't sure where to post this so I thought I'd put it in "Cultivating Beauty and Culture" since I think beauty and culture and variety are of utmost important in the influence of our environment.

I read there was an article on this subject but I can't locate it anywheres on Google so I thought I'd open it up for discussion.

This is my focus for the year. Our home environment.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the influence of the environment towards learning.

Your ideas.

Anything else regarding environment. Thank you!

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Posted: Aug 16 2008 at 1:21pm | IP Logged Quote jackiemomof7

Cay,

My 14yr dd and I were just talking about this. We were discussing our "cleaning plan" before we start school on Sept. 8th. This child can not function if the enviroment is not a tidy one. Neither can a couple of my other children but it really bothers her the most. The 2 younger dd just finished making an altar in their room to say their daily prayers at. We found some lovely candle stick holders and bought candles for them and a lovely lace cloth to put over the book shelf they are using. They were given a new crucifix by a dear friend this week that hangs over it and they change out pictures as the season or saints day. This really meant a lot to them to bring this beauty to their room to say their prayers.

We always "spruce" things up around the house at the begining of the school year. Either by buying something thats needed or a fresh coat of paint or revamping an old item. But it seems to help us start our school year with fresh things through out the home. We also tend to do this in late winter, do some kind of "makeover" to lift everyones spirits during winter.

Since our kids are basically here 24/7 they too can get bored with their surroundings and I believe that has an impact on our learning. I always tell my dc I am up for anything with in reason to help them to have an enviroment that is comfortable and welcoming to them.

Not sure if this is what your are asking!!

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Posted: Aug 16 2008 at 1:23pm | IP Logged Quote BlessedMommy

I personally have nothing to contribute right now, but I look forward to seeing the responses.

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Posted: Aug 16 2008 at 1:50pm | IP Logged Quote fivenoises

Hee hee... when I feel like we need to spruce up the learning areas of our home, I just pretend I live at Dawn's house.

Seriously though, I love to keep the whole first floor low on clutter. I constantly weed out books and resources we don't need and I'm always sweeping the floor. Does that count? Right now I don't do much to add beauty, but I do a lot to remove ugliness and impediments.
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Posted: Aug 16 2008 at 2:01pm | IP Logged Quote Rachel May

Cay, are you thinking physical environment vs atmosphere? I've been thinking about atmosphere so much this summer, you snapped my attention back to what my house looks like. Food for thought....

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Cay Gibson
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Posted: Aug 16 2008 at 4:16pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

Rachel May wrote:
Cay, are you thinking physical environment vs atmosphere?


Both.

I'm dealing with a house that's between 50-75 years old. We aren't sure. It's almost paid for. We aren't going anywheres.

I have to deal with the old. It's a very big old house.

The remodeling job on the living area/kitchen keeps getting pushed back due to new shop needed, college expenses, growing children, expensive dance/music/sport fees, gas costs, grocery prices, etc.

You know the litany.

The two bathrooms need a remodel badly...especially the master bathroom. You'd be surprised how many people see that room after a funeral service.

But this is beyond that. I want to focus on beauty and meaning.

The "meaning" behind all this comes when I think of my children. I want everything they see in this house to remind them of something. I want it to "speak" to them with good memories.

But I don't want clutter.

My bil and sil told us a couple of years ago that they refused to put anything in their home that did not have a hidden meaning behind it. The expression struck me as strange at the time but it stuck with me and I've spun it around in my head several times since.

I've also looked hard and long at what I put in my house. Does it have a "meaning" behind it? Is it functional? Does it add beauty? Does it "speak" to our family?

At the time I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Now I'm beginning to understand.

I've become less attached to "things" the older I get and find myself decluttering and trashing stuff with a vengance.

I find myself getting rid of lots of dust collectors. I hate to dust. Hate it. My oldest dd use to dust but she's rather busy now and will get busier with the start of college. My younger girls dust but lack the thoroughness of the oldest sister.

Anyway, I don't mean to get so lengthy.

Whenever I see shabby chic decor, it's all so cute and "meaningful". And it requires lots of dusting.

I want the chic (for looks) and I love the shabby (for comfort). I also cherish the old.

After 5 yrs living here I realize how functional this old house is for a large family. I think the atmosphere is a good one. I do my best to make sure there's always something cooking or baking in the kitchen. There is an open door policy. Books are strewn around almost to the point of clutter. Candles are lit often.

I wish I could control the paper clutter on the tables more. I have two large tables which I clear off on Friday. On school days, school is obvious and it's also set up in the mist of the house. I do make sure the house is picked up in the evenings when everyone goes to bed.

I wish we had a classroom. Perhaps that's where the physical environment is blocking my imagination.

There is so much I'd like to do with this old house. So much my dh wants to do with the side yard. There's so many possibilities. But money is needed for these projects and I've seen too many old houses on blogs which are being done up very cute, very beautifully, very meaningfully on very little money.

Long and rambling...Sorry.



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Posted: Aug 16 2008 at 5:01pm | IP Logged Quote Paula in MN

Cay Gibson wrote:
I want to focus on beauty and meaning. The "meaning" behind all this comes when I think of my children. I want everything they see in this house to remind them of something. I want it to "speak" to them with good memories. But I don't want clutter.


I'm the same way. I've been purging for over a year. I've tried to keep what I think will be important to the kids when they are older. If they had any say in it now, I'd have boxes full of horses and legos. Those aren't bad, by any means, but they are replaceable. I want to keep the things that aren't.

I pretend I'm moving onto a boat...off the Florida coast...or going on the road in an RV for a year. What absolutely has to come with me? That's how I've been able to determine what I keep and what I purge.

I haven't worried about items having more than one function. My dad died over 30 years ago. I have the flag from his coffin, in a triangular case. Yes, we look at it when we say the Pledge of Allegiance, but it truly has only one function. I'll never get rid of it.

Cay Gibson wrote:
After 5 yrs living here I realize how functional this old house is for a large family. I think the atmosphere is a good one. I do my best to make sure there's always something cooking or baking in the kitchen. There is an open door policy. Books are strewn around almost to the point of clutter. Candles are lit often.


I try daily to make my home feel as comfortable as yours sounds. Cold northern weather may be interfering with my idea of domestic bliss. You are creating so many wonderful memories. Those are worth more than any material item you can own.

Cay Gibson wrote:
I wish we had a classroom. Perhaps that's where the physical environment is blocking my imagination.


We have a room downstairs that we use, but I wish it was upstairs by the kitchen!!



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Posted: Aug 16 2008 at 7:02pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

Paula in MN wrote:
I'm the same way. I've been purging for over a year.


I think that's what is driving me over the edge. It always does at the beginning of every school year.

I have decluttered and cleaned and trashed the house several times this summer. But look around...

There are animal blocks at my feet right now, five little girls playing dress up and having a dance show in the sitting room, evidence of supper on the table, granola bar wrappers on the coffee table, the guitar and vacuum cleaner in the middle of the living room...

And here I sit and type.

Well, there is a very pretty Tres Leches Cake (courtesy of Duncan Hines) sitting on the kitchen counter.

It seems that no matter how much I clean and declutter, the house coughs and sputters up more dust bunnies and stuff for me to clean. It has a life of its own.


Paula in MN wrote:
I try daily to make my home feel as comfortable as yours sounds. Cold northern weather may be interfering with my idea of domestic bliss. You are creating so many wonderful memories. Those are worth more than any material item you can own.


Thank you for reminding me what really, really matters, Paula. You're right. It's the memories, isn't it?

Truthfully, the reason I sit here and type instead of cleaning the above mess is because of those five little girls playing in the sitting room. One of those little girls is a friend's dd. The grandfather has cancer and my friend has been driving him to Houston for chemo. The family is close knit and this is a very heavy trial for them. They are all suffering and my friend will not cry in front of her children. She called me needing a night to just be alone and cry. So her little girl is here this weekend.

I'm sad for my friend. I'm sad for her parents. What is cleaning in connection to all this? If I clean-up now it'll be time to pull out the sofa sleeper and get out the sleeping bags and pop the popcorn and there will be another mess to clean up in the morning.

Why is the vacuum cleaner out when there are going to be five little girls eating popcorn in the living room tonight??? If I put it up now I'd have to drag it back down the hallway in the morning to vacuum the kernels up.

So I sit and type and dream of functional shabby chic and having money to create a Secret Garden...and hire a maid.

Paula in MN wrote:
Cay Gibson wrote:
I wish we had a classroom. Perhaps that's where the physical environment is blocking my imagination.


We have a room downstairs that we use, but I wish it was upstairs by the kitchen!!


I'll trade you the computer in the kitchen and you give me your room downstairs.

Deal?

Thank you for helping me get my thoughts wrapped around this. I'm still interested in the "importance" of environment for our children and how it influences their childhood, their learning.

For example, my girls' room was too cluttery for too long. Even when I cleaned they had too much "stuff" and no playroom or classroom to put it in. Now they have one bin for dressup clothes, one bin for stuffed animals they simply can't part with, and the large dollhouse with smaller bins for all the furniture, etc. Board games are in the game closet.

The girls are getting older where they can manage this easily and these are the "good things" I decided would stay.

I like to thing that the clutter days gave my girls a more free-spirit. Now I'm hearing and reading about order and structure and routine.

Which way serves a child best?
How is each maintained?
Which way gives the child creativity and meaning?
Which way leaves a stamp on the child's soul?


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Posted: Aug 16 2008 at 7:34pm | IP Logged Quote Paula in MN

Cay Gibson wrote:
I'll trade you the computer in the kitchen and you give me your room downstairs. Deal?


I'd love to - but below you'll see why I can't!


Cay Gibson wrote:

Which way serves a child best?
How is each maintained?
Which way gives the child creativity and meaning?
Which way leaves a stamp on the child's soul?


I work best in clean surroundings. I always have. I was teased daily about my neat locker in high school, my organized backpack in college, my clutter-free office at work. In fact, I had a group of women at my home this past Tuesday evening, and they ALL commented on my empty counter-tops.

That's what I need to function. I can have music playing in the background, but anything else distracts me.

My children are completely different. They want wild and colorful posters on the wall, crayons and Sharpies and paper scattered on the table. It seems that the more visual noise there is, the better they *perform*.

It's very hard for me to not put my imprint on them. That's why, no matter how much I dislike it, we will continue to do the bulk of our table-work in the learning room downstairs. They are the ones I'm teaching, so I need to keep the environment conducive to their learning styles.


After reading this over before posting, I realized I have turned into my mother.

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Posted: Aug 16 2008 at 8:06pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

Paula in MN wrote:

...they ALL commented on my empty counter-tops.


You have empty counter-tops?!?! Wow!


Paula in MN wrote:
After reading this over before posting, I realized I have turned into my mother.


      

I always swore I wouldn't turn into my mother and here I am wanting more order and neatness.

You probably won't believe this but after I sent my last post, one of the girls went into our bathroom with the plum she was eating. She accidently dropped it into the tiolet. Instead of telling me she told the other girls. I heard them giggling together in the bathroom then the six yr old came out and told me that a plum was stuck in the tiolet.

Why was it stuck?

They had tried flushing it down.

This just gets funner and funner.

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Posted: Aug 18 2008 at 10:19am | IP Logged Quote LLR4

I think A LOT about our home environment. Why?? Because just the THOUGHT of it inspires me and gives me butterflies.

I can relate to so many comments in this thread.
First off Cay, your bil and sil's comment years ago, about refusing to have anything in their home that wasn't meaningful. While I can't go as far as 'anything', I get that. I mean....some things are just efficient, useful, or purposeful, though they may not have sentimental value. (Not sure if they meant it that way or not.). But I truly love and make efforts to fill my home with things that have meaning -- perhaps they have family back-history, or it's something the kids made, or brought home from a venture together. These ARE the things that spur memories, and remind us of the value of our life together, and our family. They are the things that warm my heart and bring me smiles -- and what MAKES A HOUSE A HOME.

I can also relate to clutter being bothersome. If my house is really cluttered and disorganized, I can;t even think straight, or function. At the same time, I don't want my home so neat it doesn't look LIVED IN. I like the evidence that 'children preside here, create here, learn here, and their inner selves and passions are growing and thriving HERE, in our home." (As well as the world, of course.)

I do LOVE to throw meaningless stuff away. As I declutter, I swear I can think clearer. Getting rid of things has always felt good to me. As does living a simple life.

The description of your home, Cay, inspires me. I LOVE old homes, and old things. Maybe old bathrooms can go...lol. But old structures, old wood floors, antiques (preferably past family owned, but years from now it may be the piece I bought at that antique store on route whatever, years ago. lol), ,,,a farm house. I am trying to MAKE my mostly new construction home, look like a farm house. lol.   I know a family that literally turned a 3 story barn into their home, with stalls still in there and everything, and I am jealous as the dickens!! (Ok...getting of track now.).

Someone mentioned their home has an open door policy. I love the idea of that, and wish I could run with it. But I'm too much of a planner and ,well, control freak, I guess. I'm working on it. I am of the state of mind now, that our home is our safe and sacred place from this (often ugly and immoral) world. So we have a more of a 'please call first' policy. Is that awful?? Some people think so. But to justify a little, my Dh and I both have home-based businesses, and we do need a draw a line between business and family life.



In a (apparently really big)nut shell, I feel the home environment IS instrumental in learning. I know for me, if I am inspired by my home environment, than I am a more enthusiastic teacher for my children. If they see their creations around, they feel valued. Smells make a home to me too. And LOTS OF FAMILY PHOTOS really pull it all together and speak volumes of the value of your family, in your home, and otherwise.

I hope I was on track with what you are meaning, Cay. I obviously had some thoughts somewhat connected to what you were asking.


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Posted: Aug 18 2008 at 11:00am | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

Something Laura said caught my eye..

Quote:
And LOTS OF FAMILY PHOTOS really pull it all together


My sister and I were obviously influenced by our grammy's hallway.. she had lots of family photos all down the hallway.. and now as adult we both do the same.. not necessarily the school pictures that are updated each year type of thing.. but more a family album.. pictures of grandparent and parents when they were younger or children and pictures of our kids at various stages.. I have wedding pictures and first communion pictures and baptism pictures and high school graduation pictures and baby pictures and just misc. stuff. I also have space in the living room for current pictures but my hallway is for whatever I want to put up.. no rules.. just lots of family.

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Posted: Sept 18 2008 at 8:25am | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

I'm rereading all your thoughts, ladies, and I'm refocused here.

Hopefully we've seen the last of the hurricanes and autumn is in the air...fullblown! It feels so good outside.

Decorating, cooking, baking, being meaningful...

Today we're spending the day outdoors so I hope to come home renewed and refreshed and inspired.



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Posted: Sept 18 2008 at 1:48pm | IP Logged Quote Waverley


This is a wonderful thread Cay.

When I'm thinking about my house, both physically (how it looks) and the atmosphere (how it feels), I keep in mind what my mother told me when I first became a parent - "Your children will not remember if their house was neat or messy, if the furniture matched, or if it was painted in the latest colors. They will remember how it FELT." I work to keep this in mind when I decorate, clean, etc. Too soon my season of worn furniture, blocks in the floor and tempura paint on the dining room table will be over.

I also try to always keep in mind that my house reflects my values - most importantly to my children. Am I more concerned with my dining room table than with their tent? Are all my possessions (and constant worry about them) teaching them that possessions are what its all about? Am I telling them through my actions that keeping the floor clean is more important than playing outside in the mud? When you speak of your open door policy and taking care of a friend's child, I think to myself "What wonderful values her children are learning.   She's not just talking about caring for others and supporting friends and family, she's doing it." I also bet not one kid noticed the granola wrappers on the floor. I applaud you.

One concrete way I have worked to limit my desire for the perfect house is to no longer look through home/decorating magazines.   They really fed my feelings that my house was inadequate and made me long for something more/different. I cannot tell you how freeing this has been for me. It was tough to do at first, but I am so much more content.

I look forward to hearing other people's responses.
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Posted: Sept 23 2008 at 1:54pm | IP Logged Quote Connections

Great thread.

I think home environment means something very different to me than it does to my children. Before children, everything had a place (right down to the angle of the picture frame on the shelf).

After children, I vowed not to spend the day cleaning up every minute and missing out on all of the fun. Somewhere in between chaos and "frames at the right angle" order is where I am heading.

Some days, the "old me" comes out and I cringe at all of the creative messes that abound. (Those moments of "mom has had enough of the mess" are not pretty.) Some days, I go with the flow and enjoy the moment a lot more.

Ultimately, I think if I am focusing on the child's environment, it is more important for me to relax and enjoy them (and our time together) than it is to cringe over the messes. I am SO working on this.

I am trying to institute a rhythm of clean sweeps a couple times throughout the day (for all of us to participate in) along with the daily "real cleaning."

I am trying to have areas to drop-off papers/creations and then we go through them once a week. And we take lots of pictures of creations so they can be put away.

As for home decorating magazines, I prefer to look at homeschooling blog pictures that have a similar "kids live here" look.

I move things around a lot to suit our needs. One of my children recently told me that he would like things to stay the same for awhile. I was changing things too often. So again, what I think is necessary for our home environment, often is not what the children think is necessary.

I think the bottom line is that my children need an environment where they can explore, create, relax and burn off some energy. Being able to locate things is nice, too.

Thanks for sharing and asking. It was helpful for me to think through this.

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Posted: Sept 23 2008 at 10:43pm | IP Logged Quote Mackfam

What a very interesting thread, Cay!

I look for a balance in my home. I have been highly influenced by Thomas Howard's Splendor in the Ordinary: Your Home as a Holy Place. He advocates that every room should be beautiful and lift the heart and mind to God. Every room should have an element of beauty within. I don't think rooms need to be large or flashy to be meaningful. I actually prefer our rooms, our home to be simple and thoughtful. But, I also believe it is an extension of hospitality and charity to put thought into each room and the placement and purpose of the items within.

I really do believe that environment has an impact on a person, and our children in particular.

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Posted: Sept 24 2008 at 4:34pm | IP Logged Quote Waverley

Jennifer,

Can you tell me more about Splendor in the Ordinary? My library doesn't have it and I'm on a book budget.

Thanks.
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Posted: Sept 25 2008 at 7:16am | IP Logged Quote Mackfam

Waverley wrote:
Jennifer,

Can you tell me more about Splendor in the Ordinary? My library doesn't have it and I'm on a book budget.

Thanks.


Ugh. I know the book budget.

Splendor in the Ordinary was a beautiful book to me. It was one of those books that spoke to my soul. I read it at a time when I felt overwhelmed by all the stuff that had been allowed to accumulate in the home and I was trying so hard to purge, but was at a standstill knowing how to make my rooms function and how to make them meaningfull. I kept stalling thinking I didn't have the $$ for designer furnishings and the just-so placement of them like you see in a magazine. But, that's what I thought I wanted because I'm so visual and I wanted my home to be a home of beauty that was inviting.

Enter Thomas Howard's book. What he did in this book was to transform my idea of beauty from simply placing the couch in "x" position to looking at every single room individually and contemplating how that room could function to serve its earthly purpose, its ordinary purpose, while still giving glory to God and serving its supernatural purpose.

It is all about finding ways to love and serve God in the ordinary, and meeting Him within the ordinary - inside the four walls of each individual room. It's that sanctification of the ordinary - but it spoke volumes to me because I'm such a practical person by nature (and necessity - the life of a mother and a homeschooling mom must be practical, I think) so the book took that sanctification one step further for me in illustrating how to see the holy in the ordinary.

He speaks of all the stuff that accumulates and clutters our homes as things that are obstacles to us in meeting or even recognizing the hallowed in our daily duty. They sweep us into a race that keeps us moving from point a to point b and life becomes so cluttered that we fail to recognize the holy moments when they present themselves. He says we sort of relegate the "religious stuff" in our life to the "religious shelf" and it doesn't intermingle with the TV and the potty chair and the kitchen counter, etc.

Here is a quote I pulled from the book and wrote down and put in my Bible as a bookmark because it really spoke to me and I wanted to remember it:

Thomas Howard wrote:
It is hard to see ourselves as walking daily among the hallows — that is, as carrying on the common place routines of our ordinary life in the presence of mighty mysteries that would ravish and terrify us if this veil of ordinariness were suddenly stripped away.

We will have to open our eyes and try to see once more the common place as both cloaking and revealing the holy to us. We will have to refuse resolutely the secularism that has made ordinariness unholy.

I would like to suggest that at least one place (among others) which may be hallowed anew as the place where the celebration of all the mysteries may occur, and where all of life may be offered up in oblation to the Most High, is the family household.

We may, by going from room to room in this place, discover what those terms look like, and how they are celebrated from day to day.


And, that's just what he does in the book...he goes from room to room illuminating the hallowed that awaits on the kitchen counters, in the living room, in the bedroom. And it helped me *see* how my house could be arranged and function in a way that removed clutter so that the simple beauty in the ordinary wasn't drowning in *noise*.

Hope this helps, Waverly. This is one of my favorite books of all time and it was a bit of a turning point for me in helping me see the "splendor in the ordinary" so I could go on and on...and that might not be what you needed.

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Waverley
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Posted: Sept 25 2008 at 1:46pm | IP Logged Quote Waverley

Thanks so much for the info on the book. I think I will put it on my wish list. If its not too personal, could you share some of things you do to make your home more of a holy place?
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JodieLyn
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Posted: Sept 25 2008 at 2:39pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

oh yes please, would you share the practical? as in what was it that you did vs the way it was?

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