Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Elizabeth
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Posted: July 28 2005 at 9:14pm | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

Mama Time depends on the child. I'd keep a nursling with me, particularly in those new baby days. It's really just a reminder to key into that child specifically and tangibly that day. Sometimes, it's a trip to Starbucks or the gorcery store for an errand just with me alone. Sometimes it's a stolen moment of conversation. Sometimes, it's a full-blown lunch date.Lucky me, seven children, seven days...

They do nature journals 'til they are finished. I do it with them on our day "in the field" (usually at the pond), which is tentatively Friday this fall.

Once I get everyone settled for the night, I gather all the loose items that haven't found their way "home" during the day--books, pencils, legos, little men, whatever--and toss it into a large picnic basket. Michael puts it away or I go through it item by item and send children to the right places. This is habit we began when the house was on the market. I did it every night. Then, if we got a call, Michael and I would do it really quickly and we'd put the basket in the car with us as we vacted the house. We'd put it away after the potential buyers left.

Walk and pray is just for me and the dog. I use a rosary CD in a Walkman. When I had babies, I put them in the stroller and they went too. Honestly, I miss the rhythm of the stroller under my hands.

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Posted: July 28 2005 at 9:58pm | IP Logged Quote ALmom

I just read through these posts and loved getting ideas. For sanity, I do have to schedule. I try to figure out who has lessons when, and then schedule all the time. So, yes, my schedules say rise at 6:30 AM (and we have never done it yet), breakfast at x time and on and on. It's the exercise in getting a handle on what I think we have to do for the day. As I stress and hyperventilate on paper about how we cannot do this, I realize that we REALLY cannot do all this - so back to the drawing board. DH will sometimes go over something and encourage me to drop something from the schedule, etc. As things begin to look reasonable, I also plan a sequence of which child is doing which subject (and again, NO, I don't think we ever actually do things this way). With 6 children varying in age from 3 to 17 and very different interests and skill levels, there isn't a lot of everything together at the same time (I'd like more of this, I think it would greatly simplify life- but I just haven't figured out how yet). This whole exercise sets a trigger in my mind - when ds is doing Math, I'll have a few minutes to discuss literature with dd, etc. I also know whether or not I'm expecting the impossible from myself.

The short of this is that I think the schedule is for me - it is an exercise to make sure that we are not saying yes to too many things (MY dh promised to get a just say NO sticker for our phone as a reminder for me). It also keeps me from being unreasonable. I think it would be great if we all learned Latin, Spanish and Cantonese while still doing grammar, math and lots of reading and writing. Without the "Schedule" that we never look at, I would overstress us all.

As for chore charts and routines - this really is helpful. I don't want to assign dd dinner duty on the day of the week that she is gone all day. We all do a major consultation after writing a list of all that has to be done chore wise and then mostly chose chores for the year according to skill, interest, etc. Some chores that most of us think stink are the very ones that one child loves to have and vice versa. Of course there are always a few that everyone hates like cleaning bathrooms (in our house this is real penance). We try to have a certain routine - ie school break for chores so daddy doesn't come home to a dump, etc. This year we are trying a new tactic - training and John duty (the almost 3 yo). Each older child will have a younger child to train with them on their chores. We need to divide the day into segments so everyone has a turn playing with John (including Mom) as he so needs the supervision and attention. Someone also suggested scheduling a mom's helper - rotating by day so that you are not always calling on the same 1 or 2 children in an emergency or to clean up an unexpected mess (like the time John fixed his own cereal on a plate pouring the entire gallon of milk onto it! I was in the midst of discussions with child and John had to have help with clean up unless we wanted the mess to continue to grow.)

The one area I need to be more firm on as far as schedule - is a set rising time, a set bedtime and set mealtimes. I cannot have 6 different breakfasts, etc, even if most fix their own. This is probably the biggest killer for us as I am not by nature an early riser. If this is all we actually do on the schedule, I am happy! I'm not saying we wouldn't be flexible if dh calls for us to meet him for lunch at an odd time - or mom was up all night with the baby and coming down with the flue, but we just have to have a norm with everyone starting to move, chipping in to get the table set and food on it.

Otherwise my schedule is simply an exercise in planning - sort of like brainstorming and then trying to really see if it is realistic. Actually I am a free rover by nature but could easily have my entire year sidetracked. Dh is extremely orderly, prompt, and organized. When we married he even had blue shirts on blue hangars, etc and has me use a different color pen for each child's activities on the calendar (I must admit what happens in reality is that I grab whichever pen is convenient at the time but at least it does get on a calendar which is much better than before.

I find that as I move through the house, certain chores get done. Laundry is easy because the washer/dryer is in a room that I walk through as I go between helping younger and older dc. I also do not sort and wash everything in cold. DD got picky and has a bunch of stuff that shrinks if dried so she requested laundry duty and has taken this job over - but it got done much more quickly when I did it so I may reclaim it and let her just do her own laundry.

Dh ends up having children clear the table when they get up after eating before everyone else is done especially if the noise level is bad. He has them take one thing at a time back to the frig, to the sink, etc.

Janet
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Posted: July 29 2005 at 10:19am | IP Logged Quote Meredith

Elizabeth, thanks so much for answering my questions, I really appreciate it and your ideas are great! Thank you again for sharing your schedule as I know sooo many others will benefit from it too

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Posted: July 29 2005 at 4:54pm | IP Logged Quote cathhomeschool

jenngm67 wrote:
I may just be dense here, but I don't see that chore charts are the same as schedules.


They're probably not in most houses, but I combine the two over here.   

jenngm67 wrote:
It seems more freedom for a child to have their list of chores posted for their own gentle reminders than for Mom to nag, in my way of thinking. Just having chores marked for "morning" and "afternoon" or even just "daily" wouldn't be putting kids in a box.


In our house, the same kids have the same chores every day (no rotating), and they share vacuuming and dusting most of the house on Saturdays. The two older boys divide the vacuuming and dusting as they see fit, so I don't get involved and don't need it posted. The "after meal" chores and "when you wake up chores" are well ingrained into their minds, and they don't need lists for that either. They just need to be reminded (when I see that they're sitting on the couch after lunch, or whatever), "Son, did you finish your chores?" When it was all on the schedule, they had individual boxes to check off, and had to carry the list around. Very annoying for them, and for mom who had to remind them to carry the list! If I'm going to remind them of something, I'd rather get straight to the point and ask, "Have you done your chores?" not "Where's your list? Let me see if you've done all your chores." My littles, who would certainly need a chore chart, are not officially doing chores yet. They only make the messes , and occasionally one will follow around an older sibling to "help"!

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Posted: July 30 2005 at 2:33am | IP Logged Quote mumofsix

Elizabeth, thank-you for posting your routines. You do MUCH more housework than we do, and many more outside activities: you are phenomenally busy! I really like the "Mama Time" concept!

Jane.
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Posted: July 30 2005 at 6:31am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

mumofsix wrote:
Elizabeth, thank-you for posting your routines. You do MUCH more housework than we do, and many more outside activities: you are phenomenally busy! I really like the "Mama Time" concept!

Jane.


I had to go back to look at the schedule when I read this because I haven't really written in the outside activities yet because I don't have those scheudles yet. Right now, "Afternoon activities or outside play" pretty much holds the place. We do no outside activities before 3:00--no co-opping, etc. My eldest takes an art class and goes to a Spanish tutor. He drives himself to art and Spanish is in walking distance of my house. We are all planning to either teach or attend our parish CGS program on Sunday mornings at 8:00, so that won't affect our weekdays at all.

Both the housework and the outside activities are under my husband's authority. That the house runs smoothly and he can come and go at odd times and days and know that he won't trip over something in the middle of a dark hall after flying in on the red-eye or that he can pack for a week, taking whatever season of clothing necessary at any given time, is a priority. I really believe that if a man has to leave his home for days on end to live in hotels and eat restaurant food in order to support his family, then when he comes home, that home should be a warm, welcoming place to be.(And I've learned that is can't be cleaned in the hour or the day before the plane lands .It has to be a lifestyle. ) He should be able to count on the comfort and security of meals at a certain time and a home that is neat and pretty. And I teach the children (however lamely) that it dishonors him and his work if we don't care for the home he provides.Keeping the house clean and running smoothly is a gift we try to give him. OTOH, I've spent much of the summer deeply de-cluttering in order to get rid of things so that I don't have as much to care for.

My dh is also is a firm believer in the value of athletics. He sees athletics as a necessary component of the children's physical and emotional and even spiritual development. And I'm beginning to see his point. It does impact my schedule--you won't see a sports schedule like mine in the MOTH book or on the MOTH site. And frequently, mothers of many who give management talks at conferences dismiss athletics and dance lessons with a wave of their hands: "Just don't do it. I refuse to drive to sports." That won't happen here.Because my husband believes in the value of athletics and he's in charge. There's no iron fist; there is just respect for his opinion and his values where the upbringing of his children are concerned.

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Posted: July 30 2005 at 10:51am | IP Logged Quote Willa

I like the way Elizabeth and Janette laid out their routine day by day.   Presently our routine is "hidden" except that we do have our chore rotation, dinner rotation and mealtime job rotation posted on our refrigerator. It's not a chore checklist, but rather, a reference so I can say "go look at the chart" when they want to know what they are supposed to do.... and so I can quickly glance at it when I'm checking on their work.

For several years now my basic routine has been like this:

Morning (before 9) -- wake up, morning prayers, dress babies, dispense meds, make breakfast and supervise morning chores.

Mid-morning (9 to 12) -- Home School (work with younger kids while older kids work independently).   We don't schedule out the order of lessons except that religion and math are usually first.

Afternoon (12 to 3) -- Angelus with kids, lunch, work with older kids while younger kids go outside or do reading or projects.   The last part of this time block I lie down with the littlies and spend some time with them.

Later Afternoon (3 to 6) -- take bath and exercise, email, start meal prep at 4, dinner at 5, get ready for son's sports practice -- we have to leave the house at 5:30 and dh usually shuttles him (this part is relatively new but previously, it was teenage church activities several evenings a week).

After dinner -- supervise dinner clean up, prepare for next day by looking at calendar and jotting down notes, preparing homeschool lessons etc.   Read to kids, supervise baths, Rosary, spiritual reading and time with husband.   Often this time of day is the time the teenagers choose to come and open up to me, especially the oldest boys who I often don't see much of all day.

The details change and we have weekly variations -- Adoration on Wednesday evening, therapists come on Wednesday afternoon, that is also our library and park day. Homeschool Stations of the Cross on Friday afternoon.   Monday is our big house cleaning "blessing day" so we usually have a bit less "school" on those days, and also, that is their "free computer/video day" once the chores and lessons are done.   We usually have one "town day" for medical appointments and big shopping, about every other week (it used to be once or twice a week and that was hard) .... I try to schedule these for Tuesdays or Thursdays. Town is 60 miles away. DH shops with baby while I do the medical appointments with 6 year old, and we run any other errands together and sometimes make it a "date" by picking up a latte or a Quizno's sandwich.

Also, I rotate the responsibility of older kids taking younger ones outside, and in theory, each older child helps Aidan with some form of his therapy.

I like the idea of putting Julie's bravewriter reminders into the daily layout! I especially forget to make time to spend with God, with dh, and with the kids just hanging out together. My days often seem to alternate between rushing and just trying to blank out to restore serenity... I'm an introvert who needs quiet alone time to restore equilibrium and I have to struggle to keep it from becoming a selfish indulgence!

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Posted: July 30 2005 at 11:06am | IP Logged Quote Willa

Just this week I was up at my mother in law's cabin with the kids. I remember on an earlier vacation thread on this board that Elizabeth made a very perceptive comment that vacations were often extremely fatiguing and stressful for Mom because all the fine-tuned details that help her to keep things running at home are gone. Well, this was certainly the case with me. Our second day there, I was almost crying with exhaustion and it was strange because I didn't really have my regular chores to do and it was supposed to be 'relaxing'! That afternoon I planned out a provisional routine along with some delegating of work to the older kids and after that, it went quite a bit easier.   It was still hard but at least I didn't feel I was at the very end of my resources.

I think that kind of experience might give us moms insight into all we juggle and all the delicate adjustments we have made in our day to day life without fully realizing it.   At least, it was eye-opening to me and I think next time I go on "vacation" I will be more prepared for this.

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Posted: July 30 2005 at 3:50pm | IP Logged Quote mumofsix



I had to go back to look at the schedule when I read this because I haven't really written in the outside activities yet because I don't have those scheudles yet.


I just noticed that they were every day!



Both the housework and the outside activities are under my husband's authority.


I appreciate that. I hope I haven't given the impression that we live in squalor. I do set store by tidying up each day, usually round about dinner time, so that everything is where it should be before we go to bed. Chaos can erupt very quickly in a large family, I know. We also have a quick tidy up before beginning work in the mornings, but that doesn't take long as it is already reasonably tidy from the night before. We now have a lady who cleans for us for four hours on a Monday afternoon and she is very thorough. We do a bit more cleaning on a Saturday, though not all that much. I would say that the essential things are done, i.e. bathrooms are clean and floors are clean (important with a crawling baby). I suspect my drawers and cupboards and the amount of dust on higher surfaces etc. could do with some improvement, however. Mercifully, I have a husband who doesn't notice such things.

My dh and I have similar priorities on education on the whole and tend to emphasise academics. He also values music a lot (more than I do) and I do give way here. As you say, fathers do have a special mission to lead their children's educational formation (see the rite of Baptism) and I am prepared to assume he is right here, despite my misgivings about yet another child (dd 8) starting piano next term. We have not had a child interested in athletics so far, though dh believes vigorous exercise of some kind is important for teenage boys and I have to agree. Ds 17 dislikes team games, but is nevertheless fencing, running with his Dad, going to the gym and swimming each week.

We do believe in helping each child to nurture any special gifts. With ds 3 we seem finally to have hit the athletic jackpot. He could throw, catch and kick a ball with uncanny accuracy from age one and seems to us very athletically talented. (He has a birth half-sister who is an exceptional basketball player.) He goes to a gym class for toddlers once per week and I take him swimming every other week. In one year's time I will be able to enroll him in a football class (=soccer) and we will take it from there. I will probably be emailing you for advice! God is good to us, however: this darling boy is so tone deaf it is comical. Even dh agrees that music lessons may not be a top priority here, so that will lighten my load!

Jane.
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Posted: July 30 2005 at 4:13pm | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

And Jane, I don't want to give the impression that my house is perfectly clean. It is not.   And I still haven't attained the overall cleanliness level that I had when I had someone come in once a week. But we keep on keeping on....

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Posted: Aug 01 2007 at 10:56am | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

I was probed here while looking for information on Signing Times . I still haven't found the information I came looking for but have spent the last 15 minutes rereading the posts, , , and just enjoying a conversation held exactly 2 years ago. And the information is still as valuable as it was 2 years ago.

And now the sick one wants more Sprite and some soup and is due for more Tylenol so I have to get off.

Signing Times will have to wait.

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Posted: Aug 01 2007 at 11:21am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

Cay,
Signing Time has a great website. And there's a thread here and several others. What can I help you find?

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Posted: Aug 01 2007 at 1:30pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

Thanks, Elizabeth. This thread is what I was looking for.

We've gone through DVD 1-3 and I never got the rest and we've kind of fallen off the band wagon. I wanted some new ones to remotivate us so I was wondering which ones were the best.



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Posted: Aug 01 2007 at 5:06pm | IP Logged Quote Philothea

Elizabeth wrote:
I have been obsessing a bit over routines for the fall. The menu planning thread made me think it would be fun to have a good place to put examples of household routines, "school" routines, chore charts, etc. Anyone have some to share? Warning: I'm totally OCD about writing down everything. I think I have this lurking fear that I'll die suddenly and no one will know what to do in my absence . Like Kristine, my obsession is more powerful when I'm pregnant, though, given my last few days, a pending trip away from some of my children or the threat of a move can have the same effect...


Threat of a move? What threat of a move?
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Posted: Aug 01 2007 at 5:33pm | IP Logged Quote Cindy Mac

I think that quote was from 2 years ago. No need for panic as far as I know

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Posted: Aug 01 2007 at 5:50pm | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

Philothea wrote:
Elizabeth wrote:
I have been obsessing a bit over routines for the fall. The menu planning thread made me think it would be fun to have a good place to put examples of household routines, "school" routines, chore charts, etc. Anyone have some to share? Warning: I'm totally OCD about writing down everything. I think I have this lurking fear that I'll die suddenly and no one will know what to do in my absence . Like Kristine, my obsession is more powerful when I'm pregnant, though, given my last few days, a pending trip away from some of my children or the threat of a move can have the same effect...


Threat of a move? What threat of a move?


This quote is hilarious. It's two years old. Let's see:
I have no working chore chart right now; we're winging it. I have not put one thing on paper regarding plans for the fall. My household routines are going to change drastically in twelve days because my oldest is leaving. I haven't figured out new routines yet. I think maybe I'm not nearly as OCD as I once was And my husband is no longer talking about moving--this week Oh, and I have a baby now that I was so pining for when I started this thread. Life is not nearly as neatly organized but it's so much fuller.

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Posted: Aug 02 2007 at 8:09pm | IP Logged Quote Philothea

Okay, should have seen that.   

Glad you're still sticking around!
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Posted: Aug 02 2007 at 8:52pm | IP Logged Quote Willa

This was such a funny thread to read

Because I am trying to figure out my routines for this year, I printed out the whole thing (40 pages!) and read happily through it with no twinge of familiarity, and then was perfectly astounded to read a post from myself.   Only then did I realize it was from 2005.

Sorry your kids are sick, Cay.   Sprite and Tylenol sound just like what's going on in this house. Hope you're all better soon. Summer's no time to have a virus!

I too have done hardly any planning, and am seeing off the oldest in a couple of weeks as well -- it's still hard, even the third time Praying for you, Elizabeth.

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Posted: Aug 02 2007 at 10:19pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

WJFR wrote:
Sorry your kids are sick, Cay.   Sprite and Tylenol sound just like what's going on in this house. Hope you're all better soon. Summer's no time to have a virus!


I feel very much like I've turned the clock back in time and am back to just sitting and rocking and wiping up fluid messes and just sitting and comforting.

I'd almost forgotten how draining it can be tending to little people who need you so completely.

I took my oldest dd to the doctor Tu and Th and the youngest dd goes to the doctor tomorrow. She's burning up! Sleeping with a feverish child three nights in a row is a sure way of reminding you of sleepless, fretful nights. And everytime a head or stomach hurts, I could swear mine does too.

Routines be .

I hope we can beat this before next weekend..

At least I'm 75% caught up with curriculum & book orders for the new year.

There's always a silver lining somewheres...

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