4Real Forums: Need Godly advice and prayers

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: Need Godly advice and prayers

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aussieannie
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Joined: May 21 2006
Location: Australia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 7251

Posted: March 05 2007 at 12:01am \| IP Logged

Lisa, I have been thinking about your question above and then I have tried to think if I have any similar friendships myself, so as to offer some advice. I do. I have a school friend who was raised Catholic (parents relied on the school system to impart the faith, so she has no understanding of it

) and then she married a very strong Baptist.

We are still very close, confiding many of our life's up and downs in a way you do with friends who are very, very close. I would trust my children with her, in the way I would trust my sister. She loved me enough to ask me to be her matron of honor. I am closer to her than the other girls who are still Catholic in our circle of old school friends.

We love each other and respect our depth of faith in each other despite our obvious differences, we ring each other for spiritual/emotional advice - she invites me to the plays her church put on, that her children are acting in and has invited me very recently to watch "Molokai" (the life of Fr Damian) at her Baptist church, I have asked her to come and hear our choir sing Gregorian Chant etc. we share our common beliefs where we can.

If I were to think of adopting my daughter's baby out and knowing that this friend is willing to do this - now I KNOW that this baby would get the most optimal upbringing - I know it!! But....I would not give this baby to her as I would want my grandchild to have the fullness of faith, the greatest parting gift I could give my grandchild (along with my prayers) due to the sad circumstances. Your friend too, understands this and is asking for your prayers as well - she obviously values them.

I would be looking and praying for a couple who were Catholic and who could also give a happy and stable family life the way I know my dear friend would have given. Only if I could not find my ideal, would I then accept the situation and my friend's desires. Naturally a happy Christian family life is far better than other things less worthy or savory...

So my advice is work past these natural feeling of hurt with continued prayer, to love her as much as before and to allow yourself to recognise her love and friendship towards you and to offer your communions for her and this baby. It will help you with your feelings (that are natural and I can understand them) and so that you are also giving this baby a spiritual gift as well.

This girl obviously loves you and it sounds as though this is not a situation of her questioning your salvation (I would think) in the same way I do not question my protestant friend's salvation - she is more virtuous than me! God judges all souls on their lights and insights in life and how they have formed their conscience by it. It is God's rightful domain and we need only to love, pray and guide where we can and be His docile instruments in His outpouring of grace....

It also sounds as though she hasn't 'thrown' this decision of excluding you in your face either, you asked why with her firstly stating it was her daughter's decision, trying it would seem, to step gently around the issue (and it would have been true but she may have been giving guidance and advice to her daughter) - I could imagine that she would have been nervous about telling you why when you discussed it further and she probably hoped that you would not ask (even though you had every right to ask! - most definately.) - it sounds as though she is trying to think of you and your feelings in all of this, but that there was never going to be an easy way to express this to you..

Can I also say that she recognises your testimony to your faith? This is in a way a compliment to you, as she is in no doubt that you would raise a most fruitful and strong Catholic! I can look at strong, holy protestant families and I am compelled to admire them greatly and humbly recognise their personal virtue as being greater than mine (I think of the Ten Boom family for instance - I love them, would have loved to have known them.) and yet I still would not want to live life in another denomination as I recognise where the complete deposit of truth is to be found. What I want for myself, I want for my children and grandchildren.

Continue to pray and be at peace. God bless you and Mary comfort you in your natural anguish and may the graces from this offered suffering bring God's chosen babies into your wonderful life and family - I know those babies would be greatly blessed! ~ also that these graces lead this little baby to the fullness of truth one day... my prayers and love, Anne

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Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!

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