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Nina Murphy
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Joined: May 18 2006
Location: California
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| Posted: Feb 17 2007 at 4:44pm | IP Logged
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MichelleM wrote:
Lisa-
I can relate too and I'm sending you a big  .
Last year, I realized that I could not share anything negative with my mom. Her reaction (similar to your mom's) would take to big of a toll on me. I would sink into a depression either because of what she said or because our relationship wasn't how I desired it to be. I've learned however that I do have a mother who will console me in my struggles and so when I desire to turn to my earthly mother for consolation I resist and turn to the Blessed Mother instead.
With my earthly mom I share the positive and that is all. |
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Yes, yes, yes. This approach has brought me some relief, as well.
__________________
God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: Feb 17 2007 at 5:10pm | IP Logged
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I so completely agree with looking to Mary as our Mother when our own mothers aren't able to do other than add to our stress. After a miscarriage (baby #7), I had just hung up the phone after telling my mother that we'd lost the baby. Of course, she hadn't liked the idea that we'd had more than 2 (or maybe 3) in the first place, and when I was pregnant at 40, this was just way too much for her. The conversation had not gone well -- she was very distant, formal, and her (as she considered) polite response to my loss was to say, in a very stilted way, "I'm sorry that happened." I hung up and was lying in my bed crying, wishing that my mother could be genuinely sympathetic (or, if the baby had been carried to term, genuinely happy about the new little one). I was crying out to the Lord, asking why I couldn't have a more understanding mother. Just then, my almost 2 yo dd, who of course didn't *know* what was going on, came into my room and placed on my nightstand a small statue of the Blessed Mother that she had taken from one of her sisters' rooms. Then I knew that I do have a perfect Mother, and knowing that was to be my consolation for the imperfect human earthly mother I had been on the phone with.
Peace,
Nancy
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aussieannie
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| Posted: Feb 17 2007 at 5:43pm | IP Logged
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hylabrook1 wrote:
| I was crying out to the Lord, asking why I couldn't have a more understanding mother. Just then, my almost 2 yo dd, who of course didn't *know* what was going on, came into my room and placed on my nightstand a small statue of the Blessed Mother that she had taken from one of her sisters' rooms. Then I knew that I do have a perfect Mother, and knowing that was to be my consolation for the imperfect human earthly mother I had been on the phone with. |
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That...is just beautiful Nancy!
It is times like this that the 'unseen' hand and heart become visible, just when we need it......I love it!!
__________________
Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!
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Paula in MN
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| Posted: Feb 17 2007 at 6:20pm | IP Logged
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I have no advice, but I will relate what happened to me. You can file this under "thankfully other people's lives are worse than mine."
When I was pregnant with my 8 year old, at the ripe old age of 37, my mother (a CRADLE CATHOLIC) suggested that perhaps I should have an abortion, because of all the difficulties I had conceiving over the previous 15 years.
I didn't follow her advice. We did not speak for several months. She honestly had no clue as to why I was not returning her calls. Once I was able to TALK to her she explained that her reasoning was solely due to concern of my health and welfare.
It took time, and a lot of praying on my part, but I did forgive her and our relationship moved forward. It was not an easy pregnancy, and I ended up having placental abruption, so both my daughter and I almost died. My mother was there, but I KNOW what she was thinking.
My daughter just turned 8 last Thursday, and Grama was the first one to call and wish her a Happy Birthday.
It takes time. And a lot of prayers. That's what worked for me.
__________________
 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: When family do not understand.
