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Chari
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What a beautiful picture you painted, Michelle, of you and your friend sharing each other's burdens.
very sweet.
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Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Feb 14 2007 at 3:46am | IP Logged
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I don't have twins.. I have had 3 in diapers.. I have had to do things without dh with all the kids in tow.
Find out if any grocery store in your area does the online shopping with delivery (safeway does some places for instance) One time when I was sooo terribly sick with my 3rd pregnancy I found one that did that near me and it was the height of luxury for a $10 or something fee. very reasonable.
definately hire out the yard work.
plan to get OUT of the house in any nice weather.. even if it's just to the yard on a blanket.. helps so much to not feel like you're in prison 
oh on the diaper bag.. have two.
I have a large one that gets packed with extra diapers and wipes PLUS a change of clothes for ALL the kids and YOU - believe me once you get out, if someone gets spit up on or spills a drink you don't want to go all the way home again. Leave this in the car unless you need to refill it. Also have a first aid kit. So nice to be able to handle the little things right then without having to go looking for help.
Have a smaller bag that you can carry with you.. have it big enough to carry a couple diapers and a small container of wipes with you.. a couple of burp clothes.. and whatever you'd carry in a purse.. you've got the back up in the car for major things.. and it's so nice not to have to lug a huge bag around when you're already carrying babies and herding kids. and by putting all your purse things into it as well, you only have one bag to keep track of.
I also tend to carry a child harness in my bag for my next little one up.. makes a very handy "if you don't stay with mama I will.." threat.. and that also means you don't have to leave wherever you are to carry out the threat.
I just got a mayawrap sling and I noticed that it gives directions on the dvd for how to carry two in the sling. I believe there's videos online at http://www.mayawrap.com if you don't want to get one.. but you might check it out and see how that would work for you.
Get a stroller that your oldest can handle.. then if you do have to go to the store with them all.. you can have your oldest daught push the stroller (easier than a cart) with one of the babies (figuring a single stroller would be easier but if she can handle a double that would be great), you can sling (or otherwise wear) the other.. and you'd be able to put at least hte next littlest in the cart.
On strollers - the side by side double strollers won't fit in most stores... the tandem ones are a bit hard to steer but fit easier.. and I've been able to lay the back seat of the tandem down flat and seat one child behind another on the back seat with another child on the front seat and carry 3 that way. My graco duoglider has held up VERY well.
I really dislike carrying my babies in the carseat carriers.. they're just so heavy and awkward and you lose all use of that hand for anything else.. and besides.. how could you carry two of them 
Teach your other kids to grab hold of you if you can't grab hold of them.. wearing skirts is wonderful for this.. lots of handholds
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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juststartn
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| Posted: Feb 14 2007 at 10:25am | IP Logged
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LOL--already had the DuoGlider. Got it for the transition from one dc to two. LOL.
I've got a great leather backpack purse that will do admirably as a combo diaper bag/purse. LOL. Already done that a time or two. We don't actually "get out" much, since we're a one car family (with DHs deployments, there's been no reason to pay for two cars/insurance/maintenance, etc). I will have to put that extra bag into the back of the minivan, but that won't be a big problem. I already have a first aid kit back there (and the batterycharger, and the extra oil, and the extra coolant and water, etc. LOL. I'm lucky to have a big cargo area! LOL).
I'm already a skirt/dress wearing momma, so the hands on the skirt thing will not be unfamiliar to me/the dc, lol.
Nobody around here delivers groceries, unfortunately. I've looked into it. BUT there are several close by, so it's just a matter of getting everyone in the car and going.
Thanks for the advice.
Rachel
__________________
Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Feb 14 2007 at 1:28pm | IP Logged
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Sounds like you're getting there Rachel.. those were just the things that I could come up with last night that I know is a bit different than many around here with fewer kids. And I know I do a lot of things similiar to a mom of twins.. when my older ones were little, I had a good friend who had twins. And we chatted alot about how to do things.. and what's different about twins and just lots of young ones.. so I know it's different.. but also pretty similiar. If you think of anything in particular that you'd like to know how others manage with many littles.. I'd sure be happy to try and help.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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juststartn
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Well, thanks! I can use all sorts of advice. Some things I may have already thought of, or have on hand (I did try to think ahead when purchasing for the last couple of dc, lol). But I wasn't planning on a multiple delivery. LOL. One at a time, no problem. More than that, esp since DH is going to be gone? Weellllllll, not sure whether or not I'm ready for that (altho I figure that the good and gracious Lord will give me whatever I need to take care of the dc).
Now, I have to decide whether or not to try and go to my dsis' wedding in October. It's on the beach. And she expects my three dds to participate as flower girls, or something. Something requiring $190 worth of dresses and a trip 5 hrs south of here. Not to mention hauling the stuff, trying to keep the 3 yr old out of the water (theres a pool AND the ocean), as well as bfing the twins, and dealing with their needs (the wedding is in early Oct, so the boys will probably be about 3-4 mos old). My parents won't be able to be of much help, it's during the school year so I can't hire someone, and my only other sibling will be in the wedding, so there's no way she can help me, either.
And my sister is NOT going to hire a sitter for the rehersal dinner, or during the wedding/reception. The rehersal dinner is on the beach, near the pool, at night. So there's no way I will be going to THAT. The wedding itself, the dds are supposed to be in--and I'll be getting all six of us ready at the same time....and trying to get the dds calm enough so that they don't mess themselves up. And take care of the babies, and PRAY that they don't get sick, or have an explosion, etc....and then there's the reception, a formal deal. With five dc 7 and under. Effectively, handled alone...I'll spend most of the weekend in the hotel room. When I'm not stressed to the max about where the younger two of my dds are, and what to do with the ds' while I chase the other two.
And the wedding is formalish. So no way I can take the stroller, etc.
Ugh. I've talked about it with DH (who won't be there), and he's basically said just to talk to my sister. I don't really WANT to miss her wedding. BUT...honestly? I don't really want to go, either. It's not a Catholic wedding, so I'd feel weird about going (she's not a baptized anything, and I don't know about her fiance)--I know that neither of them being Catholic changes things, but it still feels a little wrong...not to mention that the dds would be in the wedding, etc.
SIGH. Any advice on THAT? Traveling and participating in "special events" with wee little people?
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Feb 14 2007 at 4:52pm | IP Logged
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I've done it but not alone.. amazing similiarities really.. all of my kids and dh in the wedding.. though the youngest I carried and he sat with me.. he just got to dress like big brother.. on the river.. but it wasn't too formal (it was outside and HOT and I was pregnant) but I had my dh and my ILs helped and in general most people helped keep an eye on all the kids.
Got a wonderful compliment though.. the bride's mother (it was my dh's brother getting married) did NOT like the idea of kids in the wedding and afterward she thought it had been wonderful with them there.
As far as the kids being in the wedding.. we had a bad situation as well.. with dh's brother's fallen away from the faith.. but then it was a bad situation with them living with girlfriends.. and we decided that our approval of them getting married was more important than exactly how they did it.. and keeping a good relationship with them.. we're about the only "young" people they see really living any sort of faith.
One of them is now looking more into it with their first child due in June 
Honestly, I don't think I could have done that wedding on the river without people helping..
You know what I did for dh's other brother.. same year.. but in October.. 2.5 weeks before my due date.. was tell them honestly that I really wanted to be there, but that there was no way of knowing how I'd be feeling or how the pregnancy would be going if it would be safe to travel. Told them that the kids couldn't be in the wedding but if everything was ok we'd be there (it was 6 hrs away)
We were there.. we drove home Monday night, Tuesday afternoon I was in labor and Wednesday morning #6 was born 
Maybe you could do the same thing.
Just tell her that you'd love to be there but with twins due, you know it takes longer to recover, the work afterward is harder, most moms of twins are exhausted for months.. and that you can't say if you'll be able to make the drive until it happens and to not plan on you being there but if it's possible when it gets close, you'll be there.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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juststartn
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Well, she REALLY wants me dds in the wedding. And the dresses HAVE to be ordered next month.
SIGH. Regardless of what I do, I'm going to end up in trouble.
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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juststartn
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Oh, and the great part (hahaha) is that my mom will blame the entire thing on the fact that I have too many dc, that I ought to have been on the pill, or had my tubes tied, or SOMETHING before I conceived this time....or that I "can't handle the dc I have so I obviously shouldn't have anymore" (and therefore ought to go on the Pill/have my tubes tied/etc).....
SIGH
Its really a no-win situation. Either I get blamed because I can't handle going, but go anyway, and have an absolutely MISERABLE, stressed out time the entire time we are there, or I DON'T go, and get to hear all about all of the festivities, the things I would have missed anyway because of having the dc to take care of alone, and the fact that no one should have so many children, because it prevents them from participating in such things.
It wouldn't be nearly so bad if DH were going to be here. But he won't.
SIGH. I'm going to have to call her this weekend and talk to her. Cause it's just NOT going to work. Twin 4 mos olds, a three yr old who LOVES the water, a 5 yr old who also loves the water, and a 7 yr old who will be the life of the party, but still needs an eye kept on her...
SIGH
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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hopalenik
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Good luck. My biggest recomendation that I almost stand as a command is -DO NOT TRY TO NURSE BOTH AT ONCE. There sorry to yell but almost everyone mother of twins that I have known who starts out trying to tandem nurse fails. You and the baby have to get used to each other before you can get the hang of nursing both at the same time. And just in case, yes you can nurse preemie twins under 5 pounds. I did it, and the doctor thought I was crazy but I would be very careful to do weight checks.
Sincerely,
Holly
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Dawnie
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Rachel,
Well, if I were you, I wouldn't go to the wedding. If they're going to be mad at you either way, you might as well stay home where you'll be less stressed.
Dawn
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Mom to Mary Beth (99), Anna (02), Lucia (04), Clara (06), and Adelaide Victoria (2/28/09)
Visit my blog!Water Into Wine:Vino Per Tutto!
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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: March 15 2007 at 5:01pm | IP Logged
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WOW!! I cannot believe your husband will be gone right after you bring the twins home! I just had twins about 15 months ago, and you really will need help when you come home from the hospital. You may need a c-section too. Mine were both breech, so I had to have one. Who can come and stay with you for a week or two the first week or two he has to leave?
So #1 Enlist help with meals: Our local church community of moms brought us meals EVERY night FOR TWO MONTHS!!! (one month for each twin!!!) That was a life saver. Drop this hint to a military mom friend or church friend, and have her spread it around. It is amazing how excited people get about twins, and having those dinners SAVED us in the beginning. (We already had 5 children 11 and under at the time. ) We would all sit down at the table, and they would drive up..hot meal....ready to eat! The kids loved it!!!!
#2. Accept all help to clean etc. When I had the twins, even though I was an experienced mom of 5, it took all BOTH my husband and I had to do it. We slept in the living room on the couches for literally a month. (Mostly due to the fact that I could not sleep in a regular bed due to the c-section.) We slept very little since they were waking at different times etc. It is true that you should wake them both and change them both etc in the beginning so they will sleep at the same time. PIck a base of operations, and have everything handy for the first week or two, even if husband is around to help! He will be overwhelmed too!! Later, we put them in different rooms/cribs since they tended to wake each other up at night. I will not lie. Sleep depravation will be great. So, you have to figure out what to do about that first and foremost. I knew one couple who went to bed at 5:30 every night so they could sleep when they had twins. (Their first kids too, so why they had to do this, I'll never know.) The reason I was concerned is that you have VERY little children still so you have to be well rested. So, think of this first and as the biggest deal!!!
#3 You may have to rely on formula AND nursing. I used to think I would NEVER EVER use formula until I had the twins. Not only was it more conveinient to use formula with one and nurse the other, (then switch next time.)but I too had difficulty tandem nursing floppy little newborns!! Twins can be very tiny, (mine were huge for twins- 7.5 lbs and 6 lbs at 38 weeks!!!), so latching them on at once can be very tricky without an extra pair or hands to help. (This got easier the older they got though.) When I did manage to tandem nurse, THEY WOULD HOLD HANDS!!!!!! SOOOO CUTE!!!!! They would also rub each others heads etc. Absolutely worth the effort just for that experience alone. :>)
#4 Once they get older, you are in the clear!! Mine are running around right now playing together. They don't need us anywhere near as much as all the other kids. They hug and kiss each other all the time to comfort one another, share like you have NEVER seen a one year olds share before, and are our greatest gift we have ever received as a family. All the kids love them, and they are just adorable to watch. They are the best behaved kids we have ever had too. They also tend to develop faster, and walked at 8 months as well as other early firsts. They seem to have an emapthy for each other, even though they are fraternal and not identical. FUN FUN FUN!!!You are in for fun and joy......AFTER the first 3 months of serious sleep depravation!! :>) So, I would say not to worry about outfits and sleepers, but seriously work out how you are going to sleep those first few months with so many young children, especially while dad is away. That will be your biggest challenge. After that, you will be as tough as nails and can face anything thrown at you!! Congratulations and take it easy those last few months.
#5 (I keep thinking of more advice...) I had a wonderful girl from church come in to help out (for free) once a week with the kids before and after the twins were born. Also, I got SOOOOOOO huge the last two months, I had trouble doing housework, so my husband hired a housekeeper to help out once a week. (A luxury we cannot usually afford.) This was worth the money. Maybe you know a teen-age girl who could use some gas money?? Well worth it!!
#6 Invest in belly support during your pregnancy! This changed my life towards the end. You will be amazed at how that belly can defy gravity and stick straight out considering what it is trying to carry. You can find them online. Wonderful little inventions. :>)
Good luck and PM if you have any more questions. I am getting wordy!!!
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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theresa-lynn
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| Posted: March 15 2007 at 10:04pm | IP Logged
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Wow, I can't believe all the twins out there!!
We had suprise twins too.. but ours were even more of a surprise. (I had 12 hours to adjust to the news before they were born!!).
Mine are boys too, and they are 5 1/2 months old now. We are still in crazy mode here, but are getting a handle on things (as long as I take things one day at a time) My other children are barely 6, almost 4 and almost 2, so i'm right with you in the YOUNG kids department. I have 3 under 2, (4 under 4) and 3 in diapers still.
Here's some things that have kept me sane:
1. take things ONE DAY at a time. don't try too hard to plan plan plan because you'll likely just get overwhelmed at what you don't accomplish in reality, and God will sustain you through each moment a you need it. I've bloggeda lot about this on my little corner of the web if you have time to read it.
2. accept every offer of help that you can. allow yourself to let go of pride and see the offers as god's hand.
3. get a good stroller. we have the valco twin runabout with toddler seat so I can have all 3 of my little littles in it at once. this is a lifesaver!!
4. Pick a really good prayer intention (like the conversion of someone you know that seems hopeless, or the healing of someone with a serious illness, etc...) and offer up all of your discomforts and long sleepless nights for that intention. I started to do this from the begining and have discovered that it helped me to be grateful for the hardships, because I could offer up so many prayers for someone who really needed it.
5. I agree with the other ladies on the feeding/waking. I always woke up the other twin when one of them was hungry at night and this really helped cut down on the time for feeding. I have a great twin nursing pillow that helps to feed them at the same time. That being said, now that they are a bit older, I don't wake them anymore, because one of them sucks his thumb and sleeps so much better so i'm try to encourage him to sleep through the night. The benefit to having other kids before you have twins is that you know that all of this early sleeplessness is just a phase and you will sooner than later have two little kids sleeping for hours and hours. It just might take a few years LOL.
6. We have these AWESOME bath seatsthat allow me to bathe both babies at the same time, handsfree. This is a real time saver, and they enjoy being free in the water. You can use it from newborns too, so I highly reccomend them.
uh oh, baby is fussing upstairs... quick run so he doesn't wake up his brother LOL!!
Good luck!!
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Blessings,
Melanie
Mommy to dd 8, ds 6, dd 4, dtwins 2, and another due in october.
Our Lady of Tuscany Academy
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Jeanna
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Oh wow, such good advice out there. Wish I had discovered you ladies before my twins were born. That valco stroller! Why didn't that come up on any of the searches I did for twin strollers?! Just out of curisoity, is it possible to put the carseats in it? I just hate waking up little babies when it's time to get out of the car.
One thing that I started doing when my twins were about 4 months was putting them in a larger diaper. At 4 months they were in a size 2 diaper even though they could fit in a size 1. The number of explosions really seemed to decrease.
I felt really pressured into getting them to nurse at the same time and Kim's post has freed me from so much guilt. Thanks Kim!
I would get a good breast pump or at least know where you could rent/borrow one on short notice. This is the reason I wasn't able to continue to breastfeed for more then 6 months, and I was only able to exclusively breastfeed for just over a month. My twins have been almost continually sick with some cold or another since Thanksgiving. We don't go out that much, but when we do it seems one of them gets something and then gives it to the other.
I was fortunate to have my sister come visit and help out for a few months. I don't know what I would have done with out her. Especially since we ended up staying in the hospital for 9 days because the twins kept taking turns losing weight and/or their temperature would drop and they'd have to be placed under the heat light. I will be praying that you are able to get some help from somewhere.
Have you joined any parents of multiples groups? Perhaps some of the parents with older kids would take pity on you and come help.
I get the impression that your dh's deployment is pretty much unchangable? My dh was supposed to be deployed for the twins births, but they changed it for him so he left when they were 2 months old instead. Part of the reasoning for that was we are in England where family can't come help us as easily and we knew I was probably having a c-section (# 2 was c-section). With 3 older kids (my oldest being 4 at the time they were born)....that would not have been a good situation.
You are in my daily prayes.
__________________
In Christ,
Jeanna
Mommy of 7 arrows.....
 dd11; dd9; ds7; dd6; dd6; dd4; ds3
"There is only one tragedy in the end, not to have been a saint."
- Leon Bloy
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rose gardens
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juststartn wrote:
| Well, I am going to be seriously decluttering. ...But I am working really hard to get things done soon--just in case bedrest becomes necessary. I've dilated to 2-3 with my last two dc a couple of months in advance, altho no preterm labor, just dilation. But with twins, who knows what that might mean? |
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Don't work so hard! Preterm labor is very common with multiples. While all my other pregnancies were normal, I ended up on bedrest and later hospitalized for several weeks with my twins. (Fortunately doctors were able to delay the labor and babies were born healthy only a month early.) Watch for signs of preterm labor and don't wait for the doctor to have to order bedrest--take it easy now!
edit: oops, too late. Prayers to you and happy bedresting.
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juststartn
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| Posted: March 31 2007 at 3:35pm | IP Logged
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Rose, believe it or not, I was actually taking it fairly easy when the u/s showed my effacement was 75%. I have been doing my level best to continue doing so, as well as doing FAR less than I was doing before...but it was really rough there--DH gone, and now that he's home, his back is giving him fits (he has nerve damage from his years in the Army, so he will be dealing with this for the rest of his life in one way or another)...He's spent a week hopped up on pain killers, steroids, and more pain killers--and the pain killers aren't really killing the pain, just taking enough of the edge off that he "just doesn't care".
But today I was able to go to his regularly scheduled ham radio breakfast meeting, and talk to some of the folks there, and some folks are going to help, and I've gotten the name of a handyman who can come and take care of some of the other things. One man is coming over to mow, one has already come and gone and repaired the back screen door (dds had ripped the screen on the lower half, and so it had to be replaced, and we got one of those metal mesh things folks use to keep their dogs from tearing thru the screen and that is on...as well as a small knob installed lower on the outside of the door for the younger set to use, cause the regular one is a little high....so they use the slats in the door...).
Anyway, that's all done. THANK YOU LORD!!!
Now to see if I cannot find some more folks to help with odds and ends around here...and help DH move stuff around in the storage units, get the stuff from the house to the storage units, and get it all packed away. SIGH. GOT TO GET THAT DONE.
Any prayers ya'll can put up for my DH would be good too--his unit has actually put him on leave til the 8th, but honestly, the way he's going, I don't know that he'll be better by then, either. Its all a mess.
At least he has some block leave coming up starting the 28th of April...
Rachel
__________________
Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Advice for having twins after other dc?
