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extremeknitter
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Joined: March 08 2007
Location: Texas
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| Posted: March 15 2007 at 7:35am | IP Logged
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I'm fairly new here, but this looks like a good place to jump in!
This is such a confusing thing for me. I want more because I just love having babies. I want more because I am smarter and getting better. I want more because I'm getting closer to the end of my baby days. I want "just one more" because there is a 7 year gap between #5 & #6 and I fear my John-Paul will be very lonely as he gets older and the others leave. But I also don't feel a total drive to have another, either. More likely than not it is because I am still infertile and if history repeats itself, I won't likely be fertile for another 5 months. But it may be that the Lord has removed the desire from me.
I believe, too, that the desire for a child is God-inspired. I also believe that when the Lord does not will for us to have another child, we won't. DH and I have yet to figure out how to create a soul.  I would definitely recommend getting another opinion if I were in your shoes, Therese. I also know a mom who had 4 consecutive sections and then went on to have 4 v-bacs.
I totally agree that ending the baby days in sadness is not ideal. I lost 8 babies between #5 and #6 (also lost 2 between #2 & #3) and our youngest joining our family has been very healing for all of us. I had started to doubt that the desire for another child was God-inspired. Our little John-Paul is truly a miracle. On the day that the our dear Holy Father John-Paul the Great died, I prayed to him. I said, "Dear Papa, I need your help. My desire for another child is so very strong and we are being met with either not conceiving or losing our babies. I need you to help me. Please obtain for me the blessing of another child or the peace to accept that our family is complete." I conceived the next day! Thanks be to God and thanks be to Papa!
So there you are.... baptism by fire into my habit of writing long posts! (sorry!)
~knitter
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theogles
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Joined: Jan 24 2007
Location: Texas
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| Posted: March 17 2007 at 1:59pm | IP Logged
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Oh my, I'm afraid I opened a can of worms  Yes, my dr. did recommend not having any more and dh and I have complete confidence in his decision. He is a very dear man and has been through much with our family. He probably would not have minded me having several more but I am over 40 now and significantly overweight so I'm sure that played a huge part in his recommendation. However, dh and I did view it as a recommendation. We prayed for 9 months regarding our decision to have my tubes tied and DAILY God showed us that it was HIS will for us to do it.
What I struggle with now is more the emotional acceptance of God's will. I so appreciate the poem Karen E. shared. That is so right on target for what I need  I am going to put a copy of it in my purse and one on the bathroom mirror.
Thank you all so much for your suggestions!
In Christ,
Therese (who tries to obey God's will but doesn't necessarily want to )
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chicken lady
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| Posted: March 17 2007 at 2:30pm | IP Logged
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Therese, may I ask if you are Catholic? I know there are many non Catholics on the board, and I have not yet had the opportunity to get to know you! I look forward to knowing you. I am deeply sorry for your pain, and struggles, it sounds like you really search for God's will in your life and I greatly admire your effort.
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Karen E.
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| Posted: March 17 2007 at 2:57pm | IP Logged
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Dear Therese,
I'm so glad you found the prayer to be of help. It is one that has often helped me to either confirm God's will, or reveal to me that I've been in opposition to it. 
I will continue to pray for you, dear sister in Christ, as you struggle through the grief of not having more children. I know I'll be joined in prayer by all of the wonderful women on this board.
And as we pray, I just want to offer the gentle reminder
that because we're a Catholic board striving to stay in keeping with all the teachings of the Catholic Church, I'm afraid we won't be able to discuss this subject any further here.
This isn't meant to offend, Therese, or to squelch discussion. I realize that you are, perhaps, not even Catholic, and I do offer my apologies if you feel "cut off" in the middle of a conversation. That's not my intention at all.
I know that you'll be on the receiving end of many prayers, Therese! May God bless you.
(edited to add):
Knowing now, Therese, that you aren't Catholic, I'll just add that it's a blessing we're both at peace with the closing of this thread, and I'd like to thank you for your gracious part in that.
__________________
God bless,
Karen E.
mom to three on earth, and several souls in God's care
Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
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4Real Forums : St. Anne's Tearoom: Growing in Wisdom over 40
Topic: So, do we want to have another ... (
Topic Closed)
