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juststartn
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| Posted: Jan 23 2007 at 10:53pm | IP Logged
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Well, I've been charting faithfully (well, not when pregnant, of course) since 2001. And its definitely not the method that's the problem, lol. I'm very careful about how I record everything.
However, I do not have the resources to take any classes on any other methods at this point, nor will I in the foreseeable future. $10/hr for a babysitter I cannot afford, esp once DH is gone (not to mention finding a sitter I trust). And DH has never had anything to do with my charting. It's all been in my court. That doesn't bother me, to be honest. He trusts me to tell him when I am possibly fertile...although that's not stopped him from ever doing anything, I do tell him that the possibility is there.
I do use the STM...mainly so I DEFINITELY have some method of confirmation. Since I don't dry up quickly even when I "do" ovulate (I've only ovulated 9 times in 8 yrs, and four of those times, I've conceived), it makes things even more difficult, if I went by fluid signs alone. That's why I like having the temp to "double check". If I see the temp rising, I can be pretty sure (but the month before I conceived this time, I dried up, temp rose...and then...temp dropped, after a week of being high....still don't know what happened THERE, lol).
I'm going to start that 54 day Novena tomorrow. I'm really hoping something changes. Maybe I'll do it two or three times...or just over and over til....well, til whenever. LOL. Make it a habit.
One question though. Can one make more than one request during such a novena? I've not done one before, so its a whole new ballgame for me.
Thanks for all of the help, ladies. Its nice to know I'm not alone, and that a good number of DHs have gone thru it and come out the other side...
Rachel
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Dawnie
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Rachel,
You said you use the STM method...did you learn it through CCL? The reason I ask is because CCL offers free counseling to its memebers. They could do counseling over the phone with you...even by email, so you wouldn't need a babysitter. Even if you aren't a meember, if you call and tell them your situation, I bet they'd help you anyway. After all, it's an apostolate, not a money-making business.  I happen to be a CCL teacher and I could look over your charts with you if you like(even if you're not a member  ).
I doubt it would be neccessary to resort to complete abstinance.
Dawn
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Visit my blog!Water Into Wine:Vino Per Tutto!
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juststartn
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No, I didn't learn it thru CCL (wasn't Catholic, didn't know about CCL at the time, etc). I've been remarkably "on" most of the time...but I started using it to ttc my second...and then my third, and then my hormonal problems got worse, so I was really glad that I had years of charts to look back on...
It's not a matter so much of interpretation. Believe me, I've had knowledgable, CCL folks look at my charts and scratch their heads. To use it to tta, I'd be abstaining a good long while, simply because of my "patchiness"...literally, it's a buildup, there's actual high quality "stuff" to chart...and then, it does it over and over and over and over again. And then one time it either works, or, AF comes to visit.
It's alot easier to ttc with charts like those, than it is to tta. I'd LOL, but it's more of a "sighing" lol, if anything.
Rachel
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Nina Murphy
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I'm so sorry for being a complete ignoramus, but could you please define AF, ttc, and tta because I really am interested! 
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Michaela
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Nina Murphy wrote:
| I'm so sorry for being a complete ignoramus, but could you please define AF, ttc, and tta because I really am interested! |
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ttc -- trying to conceive
AF -- Aunt Flo (menstrual cycle)
tta (?) -- not sure, never seen that one, but guessing....trying to abstain. 
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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JodieLyn
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tta - I think would be "trying to avoid (conception)"
Rachel, I see what you mean about the difficulty.. have you tried some of the nutritional or herbal changes in Fertilty, Cycles and Nutrition by Marilyn Shannon?
The point isn't that you could get as much time as the general rule by the charting.. but occationally is better than never.
I think this
Quote:
And DH has never had anything to do with my charting. It's all been in my court. That doesn't bother me, to be honest. He trusts me to tell him when I am possibly fertile...although that's not stopped him from ever doing anything, I do tell him that the possibility is there.
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is more telling than anything he might say.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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1floridamom
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This is such a great thread, Rachel, even though it may not feel like it. Before my husband was Catholic, we were rarely on the same page about how many more kids we'd have. But, I definitely agree that during pregnancy and nursing, it is not the time to be talking about this sort of thing. When I was pregnant with #4, my dh would say, "This is it, no more." I would immediately well up with tears, not ready to face that possibility. While I was pregnant with #5, he started talking about #6. I said, "I don't think so. I'm pretty sure that God is finished with us."  Now if you notice the age differences there, you'll understand that feeling. We're in the "don't come within 3 feet of me" stage right now. It is an on-going prayer life that helps any of us determine whether now is a prudent time for more children.
From a different perspective, I remember when my dad was getting ready to retire from the Navy, he was so panic-stricken he said ridiculous things to me. I was in my sophomore year of college, and he told me that we'd have to sell my car. (I was paying for it, so it truly was a ridiculous thing to say.) Your dh is probably really nervous about providing for his growing family.
God will not forsake you, dear. Enjoy this pregnancy like it is your last, because you never know...only God does. 
__________________
Monica in FL
dh Steve, Sean (14), Ethan (13), Emily (10), Kylie (6), Ashley (5) and Lindsay (2)!
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juststartn
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JodieLyn wrote:
tta - I think would be "trying to avoid (conception)"
Rachel, I see what you mean about the difficulty.. have you tried some of the nutritional or herbal changes in Fertilty, Cycles and Nutrition by Marilyn Shannon?
The point isn't that you could get as much time as the general rule by the charting.. but occationally is better than never.
I think this
Quote:
And DH has never had anything to do with my charting. It's all been in my court. That doesn't bother me, to be honest. He trusts me to tell him when I am possibly fertile...although that's not stopped him from ever doing anything, I do tell him that the possibility is there.
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is more telling than anything he might say. |
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LOL--yes, tta is trying to avoid (conception).
Yes, I've followed the Shannon book. I tried supplements, etc. It's not a nutritional problem per se, but because I seem to have some weird sort of problem with insulin resistance (even thought nothing ever shows up in the blood work), my hormones get shot out of whack. For instance, my testosterone was 3xs PLUS the normal level. One of the precursors of testosterone was almost four times normal levels. My LH and FSH ratio three weeks before I conceived were, while within normal limits for each of them separately, out of whack in ratio (they are supposed to be 1:1. Mine were 1:2 or 2:1...I don't remember...but it wasn't good. I "shouldn't" have ovulated. But I was on medication, and I don't know if the medication (for Insulin Resistance issues) helped, or not, but something happened.
I'd been taking vitex, thoroughly making sure my nutritional issues (if any) were taken care of...was watching my diet (having PCOS means you pretty much HAVE to go on a lower carb diet, and stay on it)....etc,
Made sure I was taking a good multi-oil, etc. At this point, I don't even remember everything I was taking. It was a lot. My DH couldn't believe how many pills I was popping a day...just trying to get my body to work more regularly (I was going MONTHS between "visits", iykwim... NOT a good thing at all).
Oh--I want to apologize for being cryptic. LOL. I just wanted to NOT offend anyone. LOL.
Thanks for "listening" ladies.
I don't know if he's forgotten his comments, or if it was a temporary thing....but he is THE big "request" I have on my 54 day novena. Day 1 down, 53 to go.
Whew.
Oh. And I found out he may be leaving as early as mid March. Yeah, baby...that whole last trimester...the entire mowing season...and we live on a hill. Where's a good strong teenaged boy who needs a service project when I need one?
It's not a sure thing, his leaving earlier. But regardless, he won't be here when this baby comes. If he leaves in March, he'll do it right about the time this novena ends. Ironic.
Thanks again, ladies.
Rachel
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Chari
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juststartn wrote:
I'm going to start that 54 day Novena tomorrow. I'm really hoping something changes. Maybe I'll do it two or three times...or just over and over til....well, til whenever. LOL. Make it a habit.
One question though. Can one make more than one request during such a novena? I've not done one before, so its a whole new ballgame for me.
Thanks for all of the help, ladies. Its nice to know I'm not alone, and that a good number of DHs have gone thru it and come out the other side...
I don't know if he's forgotten his comments, or if it was a temporary thing....but he is THE big "request" I have on my 54 day novena. Day 1 down, 53 to go.
Whew.
Oh. And I found out he may be leaving as early as mid March. Yeah, baby...that whole last trimester...the entire mowing season...and we live on a hill. Where's a good strong teenaged boy who needs a service project when I need one?
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Rachel, glad you have joined us in prayer. You know God is limitless........offer your Novena for any and ALL of the intentions you can think of!
In fact, it is because of my dh that I even started the novena, this is my 5th Rosary novena, I think.
If you join us on the happyisthehusband list, you can join our monthly novenas and our twice a year Rosary novenas. You might find that comforting while your dh is away.
One of the main intentions I have is for my dh to be open to more children. He thinks six is "enough" 
actually, he thought FIVE was enough
I will keep your intentions with mine.
__________________
Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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juststartn
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Actually, I figure I'll just keep a running Rosary going, specifically for DH...and whatever other "essentials" come to mind.
I will consider joining the list. I'm on alot of lists/boards right now...lol.
Rachel
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SaraP
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juststartn wrote:
| Well, I've been charting faithfully (well, not when pregnant, of course) since 2001. And its definitely not the method that's the problem, lol. I'm very careful about how I record everything. |
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Just to be clear, I wasn't suggesting that you were doing anything wrong, just that perhaps the method you were using wasn't a good fit for the kind of cycles you have. The STM relies pretty heavily on temperature to confirm ovulation and many variations of it advise couples who want to avoid conceiving to abstain from the time the woman first notices CM until after the temp rises. Well, if you have 80 or 90 or 100 day cycles, but begin having patches of CM around day 8 or 10 this can be a big, big problem! Methods that do not rely on temperature (Billings and Creighton) have a different way of making observations and a set of guidelines for avoiding pregnancy and sometimes that can mean a lot less abstinence in a situation like yours.
It does sound like you are doing everything right with regards to managing your PCOS and, for what it's worth, I don't charge anything at all for email/phone consultations.
BUT . . .
juststartn wrote:
| And DH has never had anything to do with my charting. It's all been in my court. That doesn't bother me, to be honest. He trusts me to tell him when I am possibly fertile...although that's not stopped him from ever doing anything, I do tell him that the possibility is there. |
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And I agree with JodieLyn that this is much more significant than what your DH says and perhaps there isn't so much to worry about as you fear.
So hang in there and know that you will be in my prayers . . . military wives are my heros!
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Mama to six on earth, two in heaven and two waiting in Russia. Foxberry Farm Almanac
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Nina Murphy
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SaraP wrote:
| So hang in there and know that you will be in my prayers . . . military wives are my heros! |
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Me, too!
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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juststartn
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Thanks ladies...but you know, it really doesn't feel like it's "all that" when its just part of your daily life, and you live in a military town. It also doesn't hurt that my dad was in the AF back before he married my mother, so they know a little bit about deployments, etc.
Of course, when I talked to my mom today, about my concerns (cause DH informed me last night that he *may* be getting deployed earlier--like mid-March)...and how I was not looking forward to spending the last trimester alone...her comment was a laugh and a "You asked for it"...
SIGH. I don't need to hear that, mom. I hear that from you every. single. time. If the dds get into the Vaseline, and get it into their hair, the carpet, and onto every piece of furniture they can reach...I "asked for it"...if DH gets deployed again I "asked for it"...
ARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Alright. It's not like she's supportive of me having more than three dc anyway. Apparently I have confirmed her opinion that I am white trash waiting to happen (after all, I hs, I wear skirts and dresses all the time, my hair is longer than "normal" for a woman of my age--I'm 32 for goodness sakes!, I am very conservative.....now I have more than a "decent" number of dc...grrrrrr).
Sorry for the rant. You can erase that from your minds....really.
Rachel (who really hopes that that wasn't detraction. My mom's not really that bad, but I'm a convert, and she really just doesn't understand at all. Really. Not. At. All.)
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Anne McD
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"SIGH. I don't need to hear that, mom. I hear that from you every. single. time. If the dds get into the Vaseline, and get it into their hair, the carpet, and onto every piece of furniture they can reach...I "asked for it"...if DH gets deployed again I "asked for it"...
"
LOL-- I get this from my mom too--except her tagline is, "and who left it out?" Seriouly, its impossible to put THE ENTIRE HOUSE under lock and key! 
While I'm not going through the same problem, a friend of mine is going through a very similar situation, and I really feel for both of you! I'll remember you in my rosary novena, too.
Also, many, many MANY MANY MANY thank you's to you and your husband--every time we see s/t about our soldiers, I explain to the boys that they are the good guys and they are fighting the bad guys for us-- we love you all, pray for you all, and are so grateful that you do what you do!
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Anne
Wife to Jon
Mommy to Alex 9
James 8
Katie 6
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Benedict Joseph 1
and baby on the way! 10/14
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juststartn
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The kicker is, no one has to leave it out around here. They go and find it!!! LOL. There are enough of them to play the "distraction" game!
UGH....
LOL
I haven't bought any vaseline in a looooong time.
Rachel
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mom2mpr
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Chari wrote:
[QUOTE=juststartn]
If you join us on the happyisthehusband list, you can join our monthly novenas and our twice a year Rosary novenas. You might find that comforting while your dh is away.
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Can others join this list? How?
Anne
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mariB
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Rachel,
You are an incredible woman and God loves you so much. One day I thought about how our husbands are so awesome. Think of the pressur they are under. The power of prayer is amazing. The Lord will never abandon you. So many times my husband and I were not on agreement with certain issues and through prayer he came around.
Husbands have a different pressure than us wives and I'm sure it would be hard for us to understand because men and women are different in a lot of ways.
My cycles are out of wack right now(I'm 43 and premenepausal) A friend of mine is a NFP counselor and advised me to ask my doctor about a progesterine supplement to take during 17 days of my cycle which would not interfere with ovulation. Is your thyroid off? That can throw things out of wack. Iodine can regulate the thyroid through a kelp supplement. That is my .02
Honestly, there have been times that I've wanted to avoid pregnancy. I get so sick the first 24 weeks and along with the sickness comes depression. But through prayer God has helped me with that.
My husband feels right now that 5 children is a great number. He said that with 3, and with 4! But God is amazing for every time we have had a baby he acts like a child on Christmas morning.
Having children is no easy task. Tears well up in my eyes when I see all the blessings and joy and my husband is so proud of each and every child!
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marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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juststartn
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Well, no, my thyroid has always been normal. Its the PCOS that sets everything off.
Of course, I just found out I'm having twins (had the u/s yesterday morning, lol), so that "last one" has turned into the "last two" already. Dh is very....excited. LOL> I think having two boys is going to be the kicker for him. Two little boys after three girls in a row? The hormone imbalance in this house will even out somewhat, lol.
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
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mariB
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Rachel!
I wish you were close by I'd give you a hug. It must be overwhelming, but CONGRATULATIONS! Boys are a lot of fun! (We have a Lily too!)
God Bless!
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marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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Erica Sanchez
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Oh, Rachel, congratulations on your twins!!! Praying for you and your husband.
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: When DH says "no more dc"
