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Teachin'Mine2
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| Posted: May 25 2010 at 8:36am | IP Logged
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mamalove wrote:
Also, its one thing to have a bigger altar boy correct you on something, but it is quite another to have some girl your age tell you that you are doing something wrong in regards to serving at the altar. |
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Would it be better if they continued to do something wrong? I guess I see this in a broader sense. Maybe we need to be teaching our boys that girl's opinions and ideas are just as valid as other boys, and then maybe they will grow up to be men who value and respect the ideas and opinions of women. Too many men these days - and I'm not referring to my husband - dismiss what women have to say. 
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guitarnan
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We've had a great spirit of altar server cooperation develop in our parish. Father does the training (and it's detailed), we have a handbook, and new servers are assigned to Masses right away so they don't forget what they learned. The experienced servers know just how they feel, so they offer suggestions and corrections very gently. Best of all, both of our priests (we're so blessed to have two!) are very relaxed about altar server errors, which really helps.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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JodieLyn
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suggestions and corrections come from Father.. where the older altar servers suggest or correct is by pointing or nodding at things or helping them remember the times to move in some way. But that's on the altar as it's happening. No conversations about it.
Actually, thinking about it.. all the altar servers newer ones and older ones help each other that way.
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mamalove
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| Posted: May 25 2010 at 11:21pm | IP Logged
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Quote:
Would it be better if they continued to do something wrong? I guess I see this in a broader sense. Maybe we need to be teaching our boys that girl's opinions and ideas are just as valid as other boys, and then maybe they will grow up to be men who value and respect the ideas and opinions of women. |
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No, a server who practices bad habits is obviously not what we are striving for. But correction comes to a young man much better from another young man when we are speaking about serving Our Lord at Holy Mass.
I think we do our best to teach the boys to respect the girls, and treat them with chivalry and gentileness.
Having respect and listening to women has nothing to do with serving at the altar as a young man . That is an activity where a boy can spend time with other good Catholic boys and, God willing, a good holy priest. This time is so needed to rebuild our Catholic culture.
The fact that a boy is told to leave the sacristy by a girl because she will be serving and he is "not needed" actually cries out a very un Catholic feminism mentality.
I don't think having girls serve with boys is the way to get men to value and respect the opinions of women.
In our home our boy does well living in a large family surrounded by a mama and sisters, and watching a papa who loves and values all of the children and treasures his wife. Then the children get plenty of practice playing with friends and their sistersand brothers and at our fellowship that we have after every Sunday Mass.
A living and zealous faith, true Catholic culture (where men are men and women are women), and a return to true Catholic morality is the only thing that will soften the hearts of men and boys to treat the women and girls with due respect.
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leanne maree
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| Posted: May 26 2010 at 5:35am | IP Logged
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I have come on this thread late. my dd alter serves. She has done for 3 years. She was trained beautifully by our parish priest. This has since been very useful when we moved parishes and there are around 3 other alter servers. My dd is often the only one who serves.
This Easter weekend. She was it, apart from an acolyte, who complemented us on her reverence and her training.
I have a friend who is an acolyteacolyte and he has written a great post on it, and the training, they receive.
All of my children have served on the alter and it has always been with great reverence.
I do remember when girls were not allowed and it wasn't all that long ago.
I understand many of you do not agree with girls alter serving, but there are no boys to help our PP
Leanne
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guitarnan
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Mamalove, it sounds from what you've written that there have been some unfortunate experiences in your parish. I do think that it's best when Father ofers gentle correction or makes last-minute changes to the altar server roster, because he's in charge.
I also think it's important to welcome all the altar servers who present themselves as scheduled; we try for three per Mass but I have been to many parishes where there have been four or even six servers - wonderful!
And, Leanne, I agree that in small parishes with very few boys, having girls available to serve is very helpful. We were members of a very small parish for two years and I understand your situation very well. How nice, though, to have an acolyte at your parish! Is this typical in Australia?
And, I wonder, are acolytes common in U.S. dioceses, as well?
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stacykay
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We are close to a seminary and are fortunate to have one of the seminarians assigned to our parish for acolyte duties. He is very supportive of our homeschool group (as are our parish priests and the sisters in the convent on our church grounds-even though there is a parish school!) After one of our First Friday Masses, he gave all us homeschoolers a picture presentation on his trip to the Holy Land.
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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Teachin'Mine2
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| Posted: May 26 2010 at 10:16am | IP Logged
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I'm sorry Mamalove, but I'm just not following the logic in your post. Your opinions are valid, but all I was referring to is your comment that a girl server shouldn't correct a boy server. Hence my comment of whether it would be better for him to do the wrong thing instead.
I'm reminded that it was Mary who prayed with the Apostles and helped them to prepare for the Pentecost. They were serving Our Lord and took direction from a woman who was also serving Our Lord. 
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TxTrish
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| Posted: May 26 2010 at 10:27am | IP Logged
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No, regardless of what the parish we live in at any given time allows.
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JennGM
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| Posted: May 26 2010 at 10:48am | IP Logged
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guitarnan wrote:
We've had a great spirit of altar server cooperation develop in our parish. Father does the training (and it's detailed), we have a handbook, and new servers are assigned to Masses right away so they don't forget what they learned. The experienced servers know just how they feel, so they offer suggestions and corrections very gently. Best of all, both of our priests (we're so blessed to have two!) are very relaxed about altar server errors, which really helps.
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Yes, in the ideal situation, the formation and correction comes from the adults. Peer correction, whether male or female, shouldn't really happen. If there are glaring problems, it should be taken to the adult trainers to help correct the problems.
In our parish there is usually a "senior" server (for lack of the proper title; the older, experienced one) at each Mass who leads the servers for the day. He/she might direct the newbies who are serving. It's a fine line -- it's not correction, it's redirection at the moment, and personal suggestions as a peer.
I think that should be the typical "hierarchy" of procedure. If there really needs to be a "correction" or discipline, that should only come from the adults. The redirection can happen from the peers. The peers should not take upon themselves to chastise or correct.
I know it's a minor difference, but I just wanted to clarify what I see not as a female/male issue, but peer vs. adult and formation and discipline vs. suggestions and redirections of the moment.
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guitarnan
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| Posted: May 26 2010 at 10:51am | IP Logged
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Yes, Jenn has expressed what I meant, much more clearly than I did!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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leanne maree
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| Posted: May 27 2010 at 4:01am | IP Logged
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To your question Guitarnan, It is not common in our diocese to have an acolyte to serve.
At our Cathedral there are several, but not in the parishes.
apparently if they are an acolyte, they should make themselves known to the Parish Priest to assist him at Special celebrations, and Of course this was Easter.
I have encouraged him to be more present on the alter to encourage Boys to Alter serve.
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Are your daughters Altarboys?
