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Helen
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| Posted: Jan 19 2007 at 10:22pm | IP Logged
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Dear Margaret,
I'm so sorry. I will pray for you.
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Ave Maria!
Mom to 5 girls and 3 boys
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Meredith
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Prayers are definately with you, am so sorry.
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Meredith
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alicegunther
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| Posted: Jan 19 2007 at 10:32pm | IP Logged
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I am so very, very sorry, dearest Margaret.
How I missed this thread yesterday I do not know, but I am praying for you now and heartsick for you.
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Love, Alice
mother of seven!
      
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Brew yourself a cup of tea, and come for a visit!
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Cay Gibson
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Praying for you, dear Margaret, as Mary rocks you and your little one in her arms. 
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
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Lisa R
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| Posted: Jan 19 2007 at 11:21pm | IP Logged
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Oh Margaret,
I'm so sorry. Praying for the peace that surpasses all understanding.
Love,
Lisa
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God Bless!
Lisa, married to my best friend, Ray and loving my blessings Joshua (17)and Jacob(15), Hannah(7) and Rachel (5)!Holy Family Academy
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chicken lady
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Margaret please know you are in our prayers.
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Mrs.K
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| Posted: Jan 19 2007 at 11:33pm | IP Logged
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I am so very sorry for your heartbreaking loss. I will be praying for you. May Our Lady comfort you in your sorrow.
 Kimberlee
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Mrs.K
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Chari
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Margaret,
My heart breaks for you. You will be in my daily Memorare. Lean on Our Lady.......and on us!
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Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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Margaret in MN
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| Posted: Jan 20 2007 at 6:55am | IP Logged
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Dearest Friends of the Heart,
The words "Thank You" seem so inadequate right now. My family and I are filled with gratitude for you and for your prayers. As my husband said last night, "Can you imagine going through this alone?"
Yes, there will be valleys of sadness. So far, though, I am experiencing no depression or resentment, thanks be to God--just a deeper sense of the mystery of the suffering that God sends and a strong desire to know why He needed to take our little one home so soon.
Isn't it just such a mystery? Yet we will know at the last judgement, where the veil of this world will be lifted and we will see with piercing clarity the outcome of all our actions. Everything will be revealed! And I am struck at the outpouring of love for this little lovely 7th wonder of ours--if he or she has inspired such goodness and grace now, how much more from heaven?
I must ask for continued prayers if I may and when you think of it. The next two weeks will be my time of waiting: will my body expell the baby on its own or will I need see the doctor? It is hard to wait and hard not to know. Any advice that you have to offer will be appreciated. (For example, the children have asked to see the baby. Would you let them? If I do deliver at home, do I gather up the remains in a baggie and bring them to the doctor?) These are some of the very real questions that I have, and I know that you can handle them!
Have a blessed weekend, everyone. God is so goood. His mercy is everlasting.
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Margaret
Mom to 6 and 4  in Heaven
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Paula in MN
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Margaret, my heart is just aching for you. You and the entire family are all in my prayers. I'm sorry that I don't have any answers to your questions.
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Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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KC in TX
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Margaret,
What beautiful words. You have brought me to tears. I will continue to pray for you and your family.
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KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
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guitarnan
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Oh, Margaret, I'm so sorry for your loss. You're such a wonderful example of faith and trust in God...I know in His time you will understand all that He's planned for you.
I'm praying for you today...
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Karen E.
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Margaret in MN wrote:
| just a deeper sense of the mystery of the suffering that God sends and a strong desire to know why He needed to take our little one home so soon. |
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Oh, dear Margaret, this sounds like me. I always beg of God the knowledge, the "why" ... I have to say that He has been very merciful to me in this weakness. With each of my miscarriages, a reason of sorts became clear to me at some point. Never right away, but eventually, I could grasp the love and mercy in His plan.
"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, and they are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." -- Jeremiah, 29:11
Margaret in MN wrote:
| I must ask for continued prayers if I may and when you think of it. The next two weeks will be my time of waiting: will my body expell the baby on its own or will I need see the doctor? It is hard to wait and hard not to know. Any advice that you have to offer will be appreciated. (For example, the children have asked to see the baby. Would you let them? If I do deliver at home, do I gather up the remains in a baggie and bring them to the doctor?) These are some of the very real questions that I have, and I know that you can handle them! |
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Oh, I wish I could be more helpful here. That time of uncertain waiting is the worst. We know our babies are gone, and yet our bodies are still, in many ways, "acting pregnant." For me, this is such a difficult time in my grieving. It's something we must get beyond before we can start the next stage of grieving, but it's something we don't want to go through, either. The worry about when and where it will happen can be consuming. My best advice is to pray and trust that God will help you here, in terms of both the when and the where.
As for allowing the children to see, I just don't know how to advise. I think, again, you must pray for the wisdom to know what your children are capable of absorbing. They are quite young, and may be expecting the baby to look like a very tiny newborn bundle. I *never* miscarried naturally, so I was not faced with that.
On taking the baby's remains to the dr. -- does the doctor want to do a pathology report? I hope I'm not sounding too clinical or cold ... I ask only because after two consecutive miscarriages, my doctor begins looking for causes. Because of follow-up pathology, we were able to determine that my last two babies couldn't survive Trisomy 16. Perhaps it's something you want to ask your doctor about.
There are so many "practical" steps in grieving, and I think it's so important to talk about them ... I'm glad you're asking these questions, Margaret.
May you feel God's sweet presence surround you today.
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God bless,
Karen E.
mom to three on earth, and several souls in God's care
Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
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Mrs.K
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Dearest Margaret,
It's like the Lord is leading you slowly and gently, one step at a time. He's given you the grace for the knowledge of your loss, and in due time He will give the grace for the next phases.
If you take the baby to the doctor they most likely will not be able to give the remains back to you. If it is a Catholic hospital they should have a special burial ground for these little ones. Wasn't this all discussed somewhere on these boards before, about baptisms and all? Perhaps someone can find the old thread for you.
Hugs and tears and more prayers,
Kimberlee
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Mrs.K
My rosariesBeads of Mercy
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Jesus,I trust in You!
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Kathryn UK
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Margaret, I am so sad for you in your loss. You are in my prayers.
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Kathryn
Dh Michael, Rachel(3/95) Hannah(8/98) Naomi(6/06) (11/07)
The Bookworm
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cathhomeschool
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Margaret, I do not have any answers to your questions. The waiting was very difficult for me when I miscarried, but in the end I needed medical assistance anyway. I had many questions -- about burial and such, but didn't think to ask until that difficult moment came, and then I was all rushed and upset because I didn't "know" what to do and what was best. It is a blessing that you are considering things now. I continue to pray for you, and will now add prayers that the Holy Spirit will bring you answers and guidance.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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Marjorie
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Margaret,
I do not know how it is handled in your town, but a lady in my local HS group experience this last fall. Here are a few of the suggestions that people offered that were balm to her wounds:
http://www.innocents.com/
One lady gave this link to a parish in New York where you can register your baby in their Book of life. "They will send you a certificate, and I believe they say masses once a month for all children registered in their book of
life. I found it a helpful way to help me grieve and say goodbye."
Also, there was a wonderful catholic funeral home that did a special burial service for no charge. Another mother shared how she had a baby blanket embroidered with her little one's names/dates so that she would have a tangible memento.
I hope this is helpful. Praying with and for you.
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Yours in Christ,
Marjorie
Lettres de mon Moulin
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KrisZ
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Dear Margaret,
Have you heard of Elizabeth Ministry? I lost my last baby in July. I had found out that my baby died and then waited. In the mean time, a friend of mine had Elizabeth Ministry send me a tiny burial vessel. My baby came out at home so I was able to actually see the gestational sac this time. Only my husband & I looked at our tiny baby. We named our baby after the saint of the day that we found out baby died. We ended up having a memorial service 2 weeks later. We bought a plot in the infant section at the cemetary. Our priest put together a beautiful service. We put our baby in the lovely ivory satin vessel for the burial,so that is what our children saw. Close friends and family attended the service. They brought flowers and holy candles to the grave site. I think it was a great time for grieving and some closure for all involved. Elizabeth Ministry also has Miscarriage delivery kits. It includes what you need to help you care for your tiny baby with love & dignity. I actually have an extra kit here at home and will send it to you if you would like it.
May God Bless your time of waiting.
Kris in Wi
Wife to Jeff
Mom to Joshua, Eli, Noah, Isaiah, Caleb, Daniel, Gemma and Francis, Aaron & Macrina with God.
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Angie Mc
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Margaret, my love and prayers are with you. I'm so sorry. I will continue to offer a Memorare for you and your family each day.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Genevieve
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Margaret, I am so very, very sorry.
My prayers are with you and your family.
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Genevieve
The Good Within
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: Prayers for our baby!
