4Real Forums: Being appreciated

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

Active Topics || Favorites || Member List || Search || About Us || Help || Register || Login

Tea and Conversation
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation

Topic: Being appreciated

Author

Message

<< Prev Topic | Next Topic >>

humanaevitae
Forum Pro

Joined: May 31 2005
Location: Minnesota
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 411

Posted: Jan 12 2007 at 11:23pm \| IP Logged

ALmom wrote:

I finally realized that what I needed sometimes was just for dh to listen to my rants (and not interrupt them to suggest solutions and then hold me and hug me.

By talking and sharing my feelings with Dh, I also feel better. It helps to get things off my mind or atleast share the burden. Many times I will feel much better afterwards while Dh says he now feels much worse- he didn't realize there were so many balls to juggle!

ALmom wrote:

Another thing I realized is that when dh is home and the kids are being grumpy, I'd love for him to defend me and say - kiddos, please, don't you see how hard your mother has worked, now you guys .... Or when the children complain because the spinach is yukky, I don't have to be the one to remind them that this is rude.

This is so true! Besides reminding Dh to look for opportunities to stick up for me, I've also realized that I think MUCH faster. Many times he says he was going to say something but I beat him to it. It is so frustrating for me because it seems like minutes go by before he says something!

ALmom wrote:

My dh thought I was doing a marvelous job teaching the dc - he actually was so confident in me that he really didn't worry about the schooling at all - and I was always in a near state of panic and insecurity. I finally expressed how horrible a time I have with making decisions and how much I wanted him to be the lead in this - but not in a dictatorial sense but in the sense that he knew what we were doing, where we were going and expressed some opinions about how he'd like to see things done - or at least just ask questions so that when he did say I was doing a great job, I wouldn't just think, "Oh yeah, that is because he is not hear to see our chaos."

A Mom normally feels the heavy responsibility of taking care of the children and homeschooling adds to it. It was important to me that Dh was asking me specific questions on how dd was doing in math, what was she struggling with, would I like him to observe a lesson...
I had to directly ask him to get involved in this way, even writing down questions he could ask me. This helped me feel like we were on the same team and it wasn't just heavily weighing on me.

I think some of us need more encouragement from others. I have a dh would loves me but it is part of my responsibility to help him support me. This has meant asking directly and specifically. He is eager to help but often has no idea how to go about it as it seems so foreign to him! He is a great listener which is good thing as I like to talk and talk and talk and talk...

__________________
Nicole-Zane 10, Elizabeth 7, Xavier 4, and John Patrick 2

If you wish to post a reply to this topic you must first login
If you are not already registered you must first register

<< Prev Page of 3
[Add this topic to My Favorites]

Printable version

Forum Jump

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Hosting and Support provided by theNetSmith.com