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Rebecca
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| Posted: Dec 13 2006 at 9:08pm | IP Logged
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Dawn, just seeing this now and riding the emotional roller coaster from the beginning of the thread until the end! You poor woman!  I am glad things turned out in the end but it certainly was a scare, I'm sure. I am glad Jack is OK and that his mama is beginning to breathe again  !
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4 lads mom
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| Posted: Dec 13 2006 at 9:31pm | IP Logged
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Hi Dawn,
You poor thing....what a day. Do we get frequent flyer miles for days like this? I want a free latte after 7 in a row!! 
After having been in a profession where I did homecare, I wouldn't worry too much about the whole "what did they think about my house??" thing....believe me, police officers have seen it all, and MUCH worse than a loving mom panicking over a kiddo's cut head amongst clutter that was, well, normal compared to beer cans and drug paraphenalia or 50 animals in the house....they are probably thinking if you didn't care so much, you wouldn't have bothered with a 911 call...
I hope you don't think I am being crass...I just know how panicky I get and obsessive thinking, and it helps to get someone from the outside way, "whoa, girl!!" 
Take care and prayers for all of you!
4 Lads' Mom
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KC in TX
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| Posted: Dec 13 2006 at 11:06pm | IP Logged
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Dawn, I just read this. Hope the rest of the day went better. I could just feel the panic in your post. Praying for peace for you. This is one of my biggest fears too.
__________________
KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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alicegunther
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| Posted: Dec 13 2006 at 11:30pm | IP Logged
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Oh, Dawn, I wish I was right there with you now.
Praying for you and your dear son.
__________________
Love, Alice
mother of seven!
    
Cottage Blessings
Brew yourself a cup of tea, and come for a visit!
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Sarah
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| Posted: Dec 14 2006 at 8:55am | IP Logged
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Dawn,
You were wise with the HSDLA. You're safe with them defending you.
There is a very slim chance there will be any follow up. My sister teaches dance at a Catholic grade school. She's had injuries such as this AT SCHOOL. Just because he got hurt doesn't mean they can follow up an anything and a responsible parent CALLS 911. . .someone who doesn't have anything to hide!! (YOU!) And if it comes up about the chairs out of order etc. you say it was a cleaning hour.
You'll be fine. Have you followed your state's requirements and paperwork? Even if you haven't that's the first thing they would make you do. I've forgotten our paperwork before and they send letter after letter warning me first.
You're reaction is not at all abnormal. I really think this as all over for you.
__________________
Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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Dawn
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| Posted: Dec 14 2006 at 9:11am | IP Logged
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Sarah wrote:
You'll be fine. Have you followed your state's requirements and paperwork? Even if you haven't that's the first thing they would make you do. I've forgotten our paperwork before and they send letter after letter warning me first. |
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Yes, I have all my paperwork at hand. We file a detailed ed. plan every year and receive a letter of approval from the superintendent in return. I have all that put together and within easy reach, if needs be.
I was remembering back to when it happened (like I've thought of little else since!) and I remember that when I decided to make the call, Jack's head wound was actually open and I was trying to keep it closed and with direct pressure and I knew I would not be able to get him and the ohter boys to the ER in this way. As it would happen, my mum, who lives a mile away, was out Christmas shopping and I didn't think I had time to get her home. After feeling a little silly about calling, I now feel fine about it. It was better to take action and have everything be OK then not and have something awful happen.
As far as what the policeman may or may not have thought, I'm not really that worried. My house was certainly not unclean in any way (well, as long as you didn't look too closely at the kitchen floor! ) but filled with all our ongoing projects. The only thing that bothered me was our kitchen sink and counters had dishes about. I had baked all afternoon the day before and then been out till 10 at a cookie swap. My husband, God bless him, held down the fort but didn't get around to the dishes. My 5yo woke me at 3 in the morning and it was all systems go right away, so I was playing catch up the next morning!  (And I'm still playing catch up today! )
Thank you again everyone for your prayers and your support. I feel so much better about the whole thing.
__________________
Dawn, mum to 3 boys 
By Sun and Candlelight
The Nature Corner
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momwise
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| Posted: Dec 14 2006 at 9:14am | IP Logged
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4 lads mom wrote:
| After having been in a profession where I did homecare, I wouldn't worry too much about the whole "what did they think about my house??" thing....believe me, police officers have seen it all, and MUCH worse than a loving mom panicking over a kiddo's cut head amongst clutter that was, well, normal compared to beer cans and drug paraphenalia or 50 animals in the house....they are probably thinking if you didn't care so much, you wouldn't have bothered with a 911 call... |
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Great point. I was just going to post something like this... what a really neglectful home looks like Dawn...it would not resemble yours. There would be signs of kids fending for themselves in the kitchen, or no food at all, there is nothing in your house to tip off a policeman. Evidence of baking all day in the dirty dishes isn't a problem. And I don't think you overreacted...head injuries are sooooo bloody! Hope you are feeling better today.
__________________
Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Dec 14 2006 at 9:57am | IP Logged
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I really REALLY don't want to be a downer here, and I'm sure Dawn has nothing to worry about, but initially the call made to CPS on our family was an annonomys call. The report claimed that the house was messy and the yard was messy, and the kids were barefoot in the backyard. All of that is true, the house was messy with dishes, the yard looked like 7 children played there all summer (no grass, bare dirt, big sandbox, lots of ride on toys and balls scattered about, etc... and I was 4 weeks post partum!!) The call was made by a neighbor who never has a blade of grass out of place, eats out all the time so rarely has dirty dishes, etc... In HIS mind, our kids were neglected because our living conditions were not up to HIS standards, and he felt there was no way in the world anyone could properly educate and care for 8 chilren. (we found out the next day who made the call, with a detailed letter signed by him in our mailbox explaining the 'poor conditons' in our home, and this man is a teacher!!) Any call into CPS, annonomys our otherwise, they will visit your house.
Now, we were blessed to get an 'old school' social worker who's husband was one of 10 children. She actually really LOVED our household and children and we had a hard time getting her to leave because she wanted to play with the kids!! She began to tell us horror stories of the houses she usually visits, but my husband cut her off. (by the Grace of God he came home for lunch that day!) It frightens me to think of what a young out to save the world from itself liberal social worker may have thought walking into our house.
I am so sorry to ramble on like this, I really really am. It's just something I never imagined happening to our family. Like all of you here, our family is our greatest work. We battle the outside world and it's standards. Since our situation, I have heard of so many other similiar stories from other homeschoolers, and it is very real that while we plug along each day, serving our families with all of our beings, the 'outside' cannot fathom it and deem it wrong.
Dawn, I am so glad he is okay. Head wounds are scary. You did everything right of course, and you and your husband provide a wonderful home for your children, that is evident! My personal experience has left a scar on me when it comes to this type of thing though, and I am so much more gaurded. I'm sorry if I've been out of line here, I don't want anyone else to go through what we did though.
eta...I KNOW I spelled annonomys wrong here, but I cannot get my brain to figure out the proper spelling of it, lack of sleep I suppose!
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Tina P.
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Dawn, looks like you had a lot of cyber hugs. Include mine. Just show whoever might question you your blog. It is so chock full of ideas and the pictures actually give evidence of action! Seriously, I have kept better records than I do now. I need to get back to doing that.
Your house is probably much neater than ours from day to day. We don't only have legos and unfinished dishes, we have KNex, Playmobil, cars, dolls, ... gee, maybe I shouldn't be telling everyone this.
I recently took my 10 yodd to pediatrics (I tend to *under*-react) to find that she has a buckle fracture in potentially both her radius and ulna from slipping on stockinged feet while hurrying around a corner on our hardwood floor to get out the door for my other children's music practice. The tech asked where she was when it happened and then asked in a kind of a suspicious voice, "And why weren't you at school?" When I explained we homeschool, he completely dropped the subject. No one can touch us in Utah. We simply have to present a notarized document to the school district at the beginning of the year to state that we homeschool. I keep bucking for more Catholics out this way, Dawn. It would be a great pleasure to have you here if you want to leave the neighborhood as a result of this!
God bless and lots of ,
__________________
Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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Dawn
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| Posted: Dec 14 2006 at 10:16am | IP Logged
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Lisbet wrote:
| I really REALLY don't want to be a downer here, and I'm sure Dawn has nothing to worry about, but initially the call made to CPS on our family was an annonomys call. |
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Lisa, can you tell me how you handled it when the CPS person came - did she just show up at your door one day and you let her in? Or did you get a call? Did you call HSLDA when it happened?
In my case it was not a neighbor making judgements (though I am sure one or two have them) - but the presence of a police officer in my home. He seemed very stern and when I said we homeschooled he just kind of nodded. The EMT however went on about how great that was. "God bless you! What a great thing!" 
I thought maybe the policeman might just follow up with a call to the schools to be sure we are legit. But it niggled at me that someone who is not home everyday with their children might not understand that messy means LIVED and LOVED in!
And I do appreciate the warnings. I would hate to be caught unprepared.
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Dawn, mum to 3 boys
By Sun and Candlelight
The Nature Corner
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JennGM
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| Posted: Dec 14 2006 at 10:19am | IP Logged
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I'm sorry this happened. I HATE calling 911 or the Poison Control Center because of that fear that I'll be reported for being a bad mother. I took my son to the ER when he had a head gash. Turns out too little for stitches, just liquid bandage, but it gave me ease of mind.
Perhaps your house is messy, but if your pictures indicate anything, there is complete visual evidence that you have schooling going on, not just hooky.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Dec 14 2006 at 10:44am | IP Logged
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Dawn,
Again, I am really sorry if I am overreacting. Most likely your family will not be imposed upon at all. I am just so gun shy right now.
The worker from CPS just showed up at our door late one morning. I was preparing lunch, had the baby slung to my back and a toddler clinging to my skirt. Toys were strewn about the house, the sink was full of dirty dishes and pots were boiling over on the stove. (Tony was coming home for lunch, so I was preparing a big meal for us.) Some kids were in the basement playing air hockey, some were barefoot in the sandbox.
I thought she was a home health nurse, because Molly was in the infant monitor program due to respitory issues at that time, the nurses came to our home to download from the monitor and to check on Molly, so I thought she was a nurse! She showed me her badge and asked to come in. I let her right on in, gave her a seat in our dining room, offered her coffee. The first words out of her mouth were "I understand you have eight children." Then she explained the call they got and the allegations made. She called them allegations of physical neglect, poor living conditions, and no supervision. I was stunned!! I asked who made these allegations, she couldn't tell me. My husband came home about that time to find her in our dining room. I was in tears. (remember I was post partum with a sick baby) As soon as Tony heard what was going on, he knew who made the call, as this man has made it clear that he thought we were out of our minds for having so many children, and he told me he thought homeschooling was abusive. She couldn't comment on the homeschooling at the time of the visit because school was not in session anyway, it was July. She was sitting in our dining room, which is our learning space also, and was impressed by the books on the bookcases, the learning materials, the maps, etc... She even said something like "What a fun way to learn!"
HSLDA recommends not allowing anyone in your home without a warrant. In our situation, I think letting her in our home was the best thing we could have done. I shudder to think of what could have happened had the social worker been of a different mindsetthough, and I will never allow anyone in our home again. She actually was beaming when she watched our children play with one another. She was blown away when the older children greeted her with "Nice to meet you Mam." and a handshake. The littles clung to my skirt. They were a little scared because I was crying.
She said that the allegations were obviously unfounded and she wrote that in the report. But, protocol is any call into CPS, even if unfounded, requires an open case for 30 days. After she left, we called our lawayer, who is himself a homeschooling dad of 5 children. We also called HSLDA, they required us to apply for membership, they rushed our application, then gave us direction via telephone. They called the social worker. She cited the call as a 'spite call', kept the callers name in our file, but still, by law had to keep the case open for 30 days. In that time, ANY call from ANYONE about ANYTHING on our family would warrent a social worker and police officer to come to our home within the hour and remove our children until an investgation. It was terrifying. Simply terrifying. We felt very violated. My husband flat out asked the neighbor if he made the call. He admitted to it, then placed a 3 page letter in our mail box, (signed letter none the less) stating his reasons, 1-8, on why he called. And I kid you not, they were reasons such as the kids being outside without me, (in our tiny fenced in backyard!) the kids being outside barefoot, the kids were not in school, he saw the boys fist fighting, he could hear the toddler crying in the house, the toys were left out on the lawn, our kids played with toy guns, etc...
After 30 days, we received a letter from CPS, addressed to Mr. and Mrs. B and children, saying that the allegations were unfounded and our case was being dropped. They were sorry for any imposition on our family, and if we needed any assistance to call 1-800....
My children asked all kinds of questions after she left. My little 3 year old asked me, "mama, if the black lady takes us away, will we turn black too?" My 9 year old asked me if when kids are taken away, do the get adopted by other families. It still hurts my heart that I needed to talk to my innocent children about those things.
Dawn, truly, I imagine you will not hear a thing about it. I don't want to scare anyone either. I am just so much more careful now. What we think is a great lifestyle and way of learning, is often met with much negativity in our world. And sometimes, people can just be cruel.
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Dawn
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| Posted: Dec 14 2006 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
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Lisa, thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so sorry you went through such a harrowing experience! It just goes to show you, you never know what people might do.
Funnily enough, a little while ago my neighbor stopped by. This is a woman who lives right next door whom I have never actually talked with face to face! She and her husband (a man I have met several times and with whom my husband chats pretty regularly) are quiet, retired, nice people. But I almost fell off my chair when the doorbell rang just now and she was standing at my door! 
She said she just wanted to see how everyone was doing after all the ruckus yesterday. So I invited her in, and asked her to sit down. She said no, she was just out for a walk and couldn't stay. But wouldn't you know it, my three boys had her out in my family room, regaling her with talk of birds, planets, chipmunks, neighborhood cats and everything else!
Turns out she was a teacher and she asked me if I homeschooled them all. Of course my heart starts pounding thinking of all that we've been talking about here. But we kept her here 20 minutes or so, telling here all kinds of stories and chatting away. She asked us to stop by anytime - she'd "love to have us over."
And thankfully my house is much neater today! Aside from a lot of books all over the couch and the kids' lunch plates on the table I think we were pretty presentable!
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Dawn, mum to 3 boys
By Sun and Candlelight
The Nature Corner
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~Rachel~
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Your neighbour sounds nice Dawn .
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~Rachel~
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Mum to James 13, Lenore 8
Lighting a Fire
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Meredith
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Just seeing this dear, praise God he's OK, prayng for your peace and calm!
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Meredith
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Jen L.
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When someone called CPS on us, the social worker called for an appointment. I didn't want to do it, but was advised by my socialworker godmother to just let her come over. It was fine -- I now know that she had to come since someone called. She wasn't looking for confrontation at all.
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Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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kingvozzo
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So sorry you've had this worry, Dawn. As if head injuries aren't bad enough, to have to deal with the possible interference by the authorities is just too much. Praying all goes well!
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Noreen
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Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Please ease my mind ...
