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Michaela
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Last night, DH walked in the door and handed me his cell phone. My OB was talking to him about me getting a "tubal" since I'll be all opened up during the c-section.  (Actually, I didn't know what they had talked about because he walked in and told me one of my OBs wanted to talk to me.)
I'm sure many of you have experienced the chaos when daddy comes home.....children running to get the hugs & kisses, even our dog goes nuts. While all the joyful noise was taking place I heard my OB say she wanted to talk about the "tubal _______" ???
What? I'm confused because I'm not having a tubal pregnancy. (I didn't hear the word after tubal & assumed she said pregnancy.) I trying to find a place to interupt her while making crazy hand signals to DH to take the kids (and dog!) to another room.
She went on about being done w/ having children & stuff that made me realize she said tubal ligation.
So, I explained we open to more children & don't want the procedure. She goes on to ask, "Well, what birth control do you plan to use after the birth?"
My head is already spinning from a long day & the fun entrance with daddy ....then wondering why she didn't ask these questions when I saw her last Monday.
I guess I hadn't really thought about after, yet.
She told me that after I c-section I shouldn't get pregnant for at least six months. I said, "I'll chart. Use NFP." She came back with..."Which method?" 
I sure don't know much, it became painfully obvious, but I just asked her to please make note that I don't want a tubal.
It's such an odd situation to me because I have been trying for YEARS to get pregnant. Now, to think I better not & need to do something to prevent it for at least six months.
Reading other posts on NFP....I can tell I just don't have a clue. LOL I've always skipped posts here & other boards about NFP.  I see a post here on NFP that's 8 pages...I better get busy to learn. I have less than a month to read & get informed.....any book suggestions (the good, the bad, even the ugly will be appreciated  ) ?
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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Lisbet
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WHOA!! I wudda come UNGLUED!!!! I don't even know where to start on that one!! I'd be dropping that OB in a flash I don't care how close to delievery I might be!!! Seriously, that was totally out of line!! Calling your husband on his cell???
Phew, okay, well, do you plan on exclusively nursing your little one? Do you know about LAM? I really don't have any book recomendations, but generally breastfeeding can keep fertility at by for most for about 6 months or so.
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stacykay
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Good Golly, Michaela! It sounds like you were blind-sided! And I am really surprised to hear she was talking to your dh about this! But then again, I got hit with the "do you want me to take do a tubal?" while I was being wheeled into the OR, for an *almost* emergency c-section (breech with a prolapsed cord.) I was dumbfounded that she would bring it up at such a time.
God Bless you for your courage with your OB. The ladies here are SOOOOO knowledgeable about nfp, etc.
BTW, my ob didn't say anything to me about waiting after the c-section, but that is a moot point, as ds is now 2 1/2, and no pregnancy since (I would certainly love another blessing, but I am focusing on being grateful for my six- I am blessed with them!)
God bless,
Stacy in MI
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JennGM
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Oh, I'd be steaming mad. I've heard horror stories of docs asking right there. I'd be a bit nervous that he would do it anyway, miscommunication or something. Make sure you get it in writing and verbal communication with the actual surgeon to reinforce that a tubal is not going to happen.
I'm sorry you have to deal with a practice like that. I know there are practices that it's standard, make sure you have a b/c method in place. It's really none of their business. After my c-section they told me it's ideal to wait a year before handling another child.
But God does usually protect us naturally, and your cycles might not come back for a while. I wouldn't worry too much...and definitely not right after you have the baby. After having taken years to get pregnant with this one, that question would just be so rude. And four is not a boatload, you know!!
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Michaela
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Blind-sided is exactly what I felt. A deer caught in the headlights. 
DH said he told her that we are 100% certain we don't want a tubal. He said he was also unprepared when she told him I shouldn't get pregnant for at least six months. A ten minute car ride w/ an ob asking questions about birth control & number of children, ect. He *just recently* came around and understands the teaching of the church on BC.
I've never seen this OB before last monday (I've seen several throughout this pregnancy). She told me she'd have me go through a trial labor....even after all the others said no way. I figured she's new.
I'm going to have to lookup what LAM is. Goodness I feel dumb. It really is a subject I never considered. Avoiding a pregnancy after begging and pleading for another blessing is a different mind set. (I shouldn't have looked past those posts. I could have learned something. LOL)
I'm scheduled to see her again in 2 1/2 weeks. I'll call for a different OB. This time I'll come prepared...and of course, they won't ask.
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Michaela
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JennGM
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Michaela wrote:
I've never seen this OB before last monday (I've seen several throughout this pregnancy). She told me she'd have me go through a trial labor....even after all the others said no way. I figured she's new.
I'm scheduled to see her again in 2 1/2 weeks. I'll call for a different OB. This time I'll come prepared...and of course, they won't ask. |
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Okay, a few thoughts I'm having reading your messages. If this doc doesn't know you, she's not reading your file correctly. If several doctors said you can't go into labor, because of risk of rupture, believe the majority. Don't take the risk of some flippant remark. My sister has to have c/s, but some docs without looking have said...oh yeah, let's have a VBAC, but then reading over her chart they backpedalled.
Secondly, have you scheduled your c/s yet? Find out when you can schedule, and then schedule it with a doctor you do trust....
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Elizabeth
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I got asked during transition WITH MY FIRST! (I was 22--it was just one of those standard questions and labor progressed so quickly that they were still asking the questions during transition) Michaela, I doubt you have to worry about that six month window if you plan to exclusively breastfeed. Nurse, nurse, nurse!
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Christine
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Michaela,
I would switch doctors immediately. Please email me and I will put you in touch with some of the members of our group who live near you. They can refer you to other doctors. One doctor who should be fairly close to you, is Dr. Reid (sp?) and I have heard excellent things about him from one of my friends. He is as pro-life as you can find in our neck of the woods.
I agree with Elizabeth ~ nurse, nurse, nurse! If you do want to learn about NFP, a couple in our group teach it and I think that they also live fairly close to you.
You are in my prayers!
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SaraP
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How sad . . . and maddening!
Elizabeth wrote:
| I doubt you have to worry about that six month window if you plan to exclusively breastfeed. Nurse, nurse, nurse! |
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I agree. If baby is exclusively breastfed (doesn't eat or drink anything except breastmilk) and you have not had a period yet, the chance of conceiving before 6 months is less than 2% (and you can have your OB look up the Bellagio Consensus if she doesn't believe you).
And even if you do have your period before 6 months, NFP isn't that complicated and you can learn on the fly if need be. Although, just for the record, I would recommend learning from an real, live teacher rather than a book if you do need it.
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MichelleW
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Michaela,
They asked me that while I was on the table during my second c-section. I actually hit the doctor, who then had to go out and re-scrub because I had contaminated him.
I did not nurse between my 2nd and 3rd (long story), who were both c-sections. There is 13 months between them and I had no problems with my 3rd. Why exactly are you to abstain for 6 months? I must be missing something.
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MicheleQ
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stacykay wrote:
| But then again, I got hit with the "do you want me to take do a tubal?" while I was being wheeled into the OR, for an *almost* emergency c-section (breech with a prolapsed cord.) I was dumbfounded that she would bring it up at such a time. |
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I think this should be illegal - really.
What I have done in recent years is have it written on my chart (drs. office and hospital) that I want "absolutely no birth control or sterilization counseling as it is morally offensive to me". It works - no one even brings it up. I am sure it makes for interesting conversation behind my back but I really don't care. 
Personally Michaela I would make it clear that I do not want to see that particular OB again. Don't let them bully you - YOU are in control.
God bless,
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Michele Quigley
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Cheryl M.
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Your post has me coming unglued!!! Please DO NOT let that doctor cut on you - please find another. Are there any NFP-only OBGYNs in your area? Check the list for your area at www.omsoul.com
11 years ago when I was in labor with my daughter I was asked three times (by three different nurses) if I was having a tubal - this labor was my third - three times I became somewhat upset and said, "NO"
Look at www.ccli.org The Couple to Couple League teaches the symptothermal method of NFP - easy to learn - hopefully there are classes in your area.
Many prayers for you!
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Martha
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okay...
1st - I can't believe she sdpoke to your dh after all this HIPPA privacy laws stuff. I can't even pay my dh's med bill, much less get info w/o his direct and written permission. 
2nd - I had an ob ask to do a tubal while I was on the table with my 3rd baby and only c/s and completely blitz on meds. (I was one of those lucky wome to have patchy anethestic while in surgery.) My dh was right there at my head when it happened and loudly and rather unpleasantly over-rode my "OH yeah... that sounds smart... sure. Do it!" with a very clear "H*** NO! Not unless you want to meet her attorney!" I don't remember any of it, but dh says there's no doubt that if he hadn't been there I would have had one then.
3rd - I agree I wouldn't worry about the 6 months. If your ob asks, just tell her you are using NFP and leave it at that. What form you use is really none of her business. I have cycles return at 3 - 6 months no matter what I do. But if the uterus is heled - it isn't going to be "more healed" - it's an either or situation. If it's not healed, it's highly unlikely that a egg would be able to implant. So. Don't worry! Be happy!
4th - If you do not feel comfortable with this OB, and I wouldn't either, then switch now. I had a nagging feeling about that ob, but didn't switch. I wish I had. My entire delivery was hell and at least 90% of the problems I had could have been avoided with better care and a more considerate dr.
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momwats8
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Hi - I think everyone else said it all but I just want to tell you that you have every right to feel upset. I think it is horrible that they would treat you like a child. I also am surprised they called you! Isn't that a private office matter? I am sorry you had to endure that.
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Angel
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Every time I went into the OB's office when I was pregnant with my twins, they asked me if I didn't want my tubes tied, wanted to know what birth control I was going to use -- etc. One doctor actually told me to use an IUD! (After all the problems with those?!?!) I was terrified that they would just do it without my knowledge when I was in the OR, so as they wheeled me in all I kept telling my husband was *make sure they know I don't want a tubal!*
I just recently asked around some of the moms in my Catholic homeschool group to find a new OB. Turns out most of them go to *one* practice. I highly recommend this as a way to find somebody who will treat you with respect!
Like everyone else has said, I don't think you need to worry too much about the 6 months if you're nursing exclusively. We never used NFP (or anything else) after my 1st C-section, and my fertility didn't return until my baby was 20 months old. I know that some people do have their fertility return earlier, but honestly, I think all worrying about it does is steal your peace of mind. Since the babies' birth we have used NFP to give my body a chance to heal -- we ended up having to bottlefeed them, and my fertility returned at 3 months -- but since we're using bottles, it's a different situation.
--Angela
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Erin
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Michaela
Outrageous indeed Steam is coming out of my head, I can't believe this.
If you'd like to pm me I can explain the Billings Ovulation Method to you, I have been a teacher for 12 years now and would be happy to give you a brief overview. It is simple and effective. After that I could find you support where you are. It;s always good to understand your own fertility. A caution on the LAM method, it works for many women but not for all.
Having said all that I would do the research on just where she has plucked this 6month figure from, its not one I've heard before. Yes it is good to give your body time to heal but where does the time figure come from I'd be interested to know (personal opinion here not as a teacher)
I have heard it said that no more than 4 c-sections are recommended yet I remember reading in an Above Rubies magazine of a lady who had 11. It was in Brisbane and the OB was Irish and quite fine with it as it was more common in Irelan to have more ceasars, ie. due to larger family sizes. The trouble with many doctors is that the unkown is frightening to them and lets face it not many people have more than 4 children (well not many even get there) so therefore to do more than 4 ce-sections is unusual.(again on opinion not as a teacher )
Michele
I love your statement I'm going to use it next time (God willing)
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Becky Parker
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Michaela,
I have nothing new to add but I just want you to know that I will pray for you. I am sitting here in total disbelief that your doctor would discuss all this with your husband before mentioning it to you. I have had 2 c-sections and any more children I have will have to be c-sections. I am not happy about this but I can live with it. My doctor asks me about birth control and tubals every time I have a baby. Finally I just told her flat out that the answer will always be NO. She said she was obligated to ask about these things do to liability. I think it's ridiculous and she knows it. So she asks and I just roll my eyes and say no and we move on. Say a rosary or prayer to Saint Michael before your next appointment, or, as mentioned above, I would find another OB!
One more thing, and I'm not an authority on this, but isn't it true that you don't have to worry about pregnancy until your cycles start again after a birth? If that's the case I think I would nurse my baby and not even worry about NFP until my cycles returned. For me it's always way more than 6 months but I know everyone is different. (Please someone, correct me if I'm wrong on this!)
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mrsgranola
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Michaela, I'd switch doctors. It's none of her business what kind fo "birth control" and what size family you have. That's not her job. You pay her to take care of you not put her opinions on you.
For some background, I became pregnant immediately after my Hannah died... I had a true emergency c-section with her birth. It was my 2nd c-section and I had a VBAC before her emergency c-section. My very acclaimed OB/GYN (Duke grad. with honors, etc.) knew I was open to more children and was very happy for me, said there was absolutely NO reason not to go ahead. So fast forward to now... I"ve had 5 c-sections total. I tried for 2 births after that emergency c-section to have a VBAC again but ended up with surgery again each time.
My last birth was the only scheduled c-section I've had and the best OB/GYN practice in the Triangle area (Raleigh) are still good with our family's beliefs to being open to more children. [They all have at least 4 kids or more themselves or are still in their child-bearing years.] Not once have I been told to abstain for 6 mos.
I've nursed all mine and have never gotten my cycles back before 17 mos. I know it can happen but just another fwiw...
OH, and my doc said that my uterus looked just as good as a first time c-section and I had him purposely make a big note of that in my chart, just in case I had to move or something. I just can't believe the audacity of that doctor to call you like that...I'm afraid I would have said something a bit less Christian than I should say...
Michaela, please don't let her insecurities as a doctor cause you to doubt your body's ability in any way...hang in there!
Love,
JoAnna in NC
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Becky Parker
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Wow JoAnna! Sounds like you are really blessed with great doctors there! I want to move to NC! And 5 c-sections!! I was worried about having a third. You've given me reason to "chill out" about it!
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Becky
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SaraP
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Becky Parker wrote:
| One more thing, and I'm not an authority on this, but isn't it true that you don't have to worry about pregnancy until your cycles start again after a birth? |
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It is quite possible to become pregnant before your first postpartum period, but if baby is less than 6 months old and exclusively breastfed the odds of this happening are less than 2%.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: OB called...... (caught unprepared)
