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Alice R
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| Posted: Nov 16 2006 at 10:26am | IP Logged
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Amen Molly! 
I try to only focus on the baby and how it arrives here is just not that important in the big scheme of life.
I'd love to have another vaginal delivery but that is completely not an option. If God blesses us with another child-it will be a surgical birth. I've had two C-sections that were not the most pleasant but I'm here and the baby is here and we are both healthy so IT WAS A GREAT C-SECTION! 
I took pain medication when needed and tried to work with the situation God had given me. Somebody once told me that they don't hand out any awards when you check out, whether you had pain medication or not.  The most important thing, like Molly said, is to take care of ourselves so we can take care of the new precious baby. 
I am fearful of another C-section but I will do my best and communicate with my OB and anastestiologist (like I did before). This is apparently how God has intended for these large babies to get out of my body and I have to accept that.
Bekah Grace is 9 months and the whole C-section is behind me. I'm grateful for the awesome skill of the OB to get her out safely and I think of that often when I see her happy little face! 
A C-section saved the life of my baby and I'm happy that I had one! (I should make that into a tee-shirt!)
Alice R
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Mom to Nathaniel (10), Noah (8) Alise (6) Rebekah (3)and expecting another blessing Faith, Grace and Family
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Tina P.
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| Posted: Nov 16 2006 at 6:09pm | IP Logged
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Molly Smith wrote:
feel that it is unwise to skimp on the pain meds after major surgery.
We work past, accept and even embrace the fact that those few hours of childbirth are different for us, and for reasons we cannot yet understand, God has chosen this path for us. I absolutely do NOT believe that this is God's way of telling me not to have more children. |
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Sorry, ladies. I feel just slightly under attack here.  I feel as though I must defend my position. First off, just as Leonie mentioned, I was a no-meds wonder for my first three. For my fourth, fifth, and sixth, I had an epidural, which was planned for this one as well. When I was 8 cm dilated and the doc said, "Uh oh. The cord is prolapsed." I sweetly asked him what that could mean. When he explained it, I went into total shock. From the time the doc felt the cord to the time my baby arrived was less than 3 minutes. I never had constant pain after the surgery ... why, I'd never had surgery before ... so I just figured that when I was in pain, I would take it. Everyone who was around me couldn't understand why I hurt. I went to every pregnancy book I could get my hands on that would tell me what I was feeling was normal, but none did. I felt that burning sensation, though as time went by it eased off, for months after the birth.
Alice R wrote:
Amen Molly!
I try to only focus on the baby and how it arrives here is just not that important in the big scheme of life. |
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Secondly, I agree with you completely Alice. The very night I had my darling baby was the night that gave me pause. I had a huge bout with depression, like nothing I'd ever experienced before. That was my moment of pause. To recover from that moment (not the depression, but interest in procreative intimacy) took me several months as well. Both my husband, who was always more reserved than I in having several children, and I are quite ready to have more children as God wills. I apologize for being so human as to have times in my life when doubt and fear is present.
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Elizabeth
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Tina P. wrote:
I never had constant pain after the surgery ... why, I'd never had surgery before ... so I just figured that when I was in pain, I would take it. Everyone who was around me couldn't understand why I hurt. I went to every pregnancy book I could get my hands on that would tell me what I was feeling was normal, but none did. I felt that burning sensation, though as time went by it eased off, for months after the birth.
... I apologize for being so human as to have times in my life when doubt and fear is present. |
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Tina,
I have had lots of surgery--five operations before I was six and then they opened my chest for cancer when I was 23. I never had that kind of pain. Then I had a c-section and now I understand that pain completely. I had it with my c-section. And I also understand the depression. I had that too. And it lasted a long, long time. There is no need to apologize for being human or to apologize for fear or doubt. We've all had fears about childbirth.
No one is questioning your openness to life. No one is casting aspersions on your decisions.
I think that it's important to remember that Michaela is about to have a baby and that there is no doubt that she will have a c-section. I know that Molly--who has had six c-sections and has experienced pain, fear, and doubt (I will personally vouch for it)--is trying to offer Michaela geunuine encouragement. She is not trying to attack you, but to build up Michaela. She's offering a reminder of the positives, not denying the negatives.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Molly Smith
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| Posted: Nov 16 2006 at 7:38pm | IP Logged
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Tina P. wrote:
Sorry, ladies. I feel just slightly under attack here.
I apologize for being so human as to have times in my life when doubt and fear is present. |
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Tina, I'm so sorry for making you feel this way. Please accept my heartfelt apology. I don't post very often because I have a knack for putting my foot in my mouth, and when it comes to c/s I can get a little defensive, so maybe that's a dangerous combination!
Fear and doubt are a part of all of our lives--especially where childbirth and child-rearing are concerned! I don't think any one of us could honestly say we don't experience fear and doubt on a regular basis! I certainly know I'd by lying if I said it. In fact, I'm feeling more than a bit of it right now...
The point I was trying to make to Michaela (I hope you're still here, Michaela!) is that while what she is experiencing is perfectly normal and many of us have been there, it is possible to overcome the fear and joyfully anticipate the day and moment of birth regardless of how the baby is born. I'd hoped to encourage her (and anyone else) to focus on the joy of having a new baby instead of the fear, and often perceived stigma, of having a surgical birth. Alice, in her one sentence, was much more effective in conveying that thought than my zillion word rambling.
I guess I often feel the need to over-explain, because I think it's hard for people to understand sometimes the experiences of moms who have only had c-sections. I have so often felt like less of a mom because of those moments in the OR, but I've moved past that and I don't want other moms to feel that same way I felt for so many years. I tend to take a strong stand on it, and I do apologize to anyone else who may also have found my posts offensive.
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Molly Smith in VA
Mom to seven beautiful children, ages 1-14
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Molly Smith
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Sorry Tina and Elizabeth, it took me so long to compose my post last night (so as to try to keep my feet out of my mouth ) that Elizabeth posted in the meantime and I didn't see it until I finally sent my post. Oh well, Elizabeth you were right on the mark with my intentions and Tina, I hope we have no hard feelings.
My prayers are with you all, especially dear Michaela.
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Molly Smith in VA
Mom to seven beautiful children, ages 1-14
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Michaela
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Your replies have been such a blessing to me, more than you can know. Knowing that writing is my weakness I hope I will be able to express how thankful I am.
There was relief & comfort that no one made me feel that what I wrote was irrational.
Last night, I printed your replies for my DH to read over. My worries have definately affected him We have been so apprehensive with our joy during this pregnancy. We spent several months worrying about another miscarriage, then I shifted to worrying about the c-section.
I called my OB and he told me to come in Monday morning to discuss my concerns regarding the anesthesia.
Your prayers for peace are appreciated and already working. Unbelievably, I am not in tears while thinking about this now.
Cleo & Alice, DH and I are thankful you shared about your scar opening. I wanted to fight the c-section, I started thinking the doctors are just exaggerating about uterine rupture, I've never heard anyone say it's happen to them. I've always had the feeling of being weak if I had another c-section. I had to prove my body could do it.....I am woman hear me roar. 
Donna, w/ 7 c-sections, and Molly w/6.....first you helped me to realize there is NOTHING wrong with multiple c-sections. That I can have more than just 3 or 4. I guess my sadness was such a combination of things. I thought c-sections would limit the number of children I could have. In my OP, I felt like I should explain why I had the first two and justify why another.
It's WONDERFUL that noone suggested I try for a VBAC.
Jenn, just about everything you wrote in your first post is what I have been visualizing & planning. I want the Annointing of the Sick (have already asked about it ), I've thought of the comfort of having a rosary in my hand or a medal, and praying during the surgery for comfort.
Everyone wrote something that helped so much. Knowing I'm not the only one to feel like I couldn't breath or the numbness past the chest.
Forgive me for not quoting each of you.
Molly, Molly, Molly, you mentioned that you don't post often. Well, I'm so glad you took the time to write every single word. As Jenn said I would quote everything you wrote! Everything spoke to me.
You understand....
Yes, I was looking at the upcoming c-section as a "black cloud"....doom. I've waited and prayed for so many years for another baby. I'm thankful to God, but wasn't enjoying this gift.
I didn't even know I could ask to schedule the c-section for the due date. I'm positive on dates. I was getting upset believing the scheduling of the c-section is for the convenience of the dr & staff. (No one has to come in at 2 a.m.)
Ladies, thank you so much. I guess I've never really talked to anyone about their c-section experience, not in depth anyway.
I'm forever grateful.
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Michaela
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Elizabeth
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Michaela wrote:
We spent several months worrying about another miscarriage, then I shifted to worrying about the c-section.
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Michaela,
This is exactly what I did. And I'm really sorry I did it. I allowed Satan to rob me of the joy. Even once we were well into a VBAC and everything was moving along, I had terrible doubt along with terrible pain. At one point I actually heard the Evil One say, "Have I cured you of your baby lust yet?" Delirious with pain? Maybe. But those words haunt me and I am committing to praying that he will NOT rob me of another minute of baby joy. I'm also committed to praying for the women here on this board with the same intention.
One thing I think really contributed to my extreme anxiety was my reluctance to give it voice. It wasn't until after Karoline was born that I confided to my dh and my midwife that I thought that either the baby or I would die in childbirth. I knew it was an irrational fear and I didn't want them to think I was silly. Ahhh...pride. I am so glad you are going to discuss your fears with your doctor now.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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MicheleQ
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Elizabeth wrote:
| One thing I think really contributed to my extreme anxiety was my reluctance to give it voice. It wasn't until after Karoline was born that I confided to my dh and my midwife that I thought that either the baby or I would die in childbirth. I knew it was an irrational fear and I didn't want them to think I was silly. Ahhh...pride. I am so glad you are going to discuss your fears with your doctor now. |
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The last week I have been having this same fear - overwhelmingly sometimes. I am so close. . .but getting so scared that it will all end badly...and I have no reason to fear that. Sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament (crying) has been helping but I am still struggling.
You are in my prayers Micheala.
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Michele Quigley
wife to my prince charming and mom of 10 in Lancaster County, PA USA
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hopalenik
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Hi,
I have 5 kids. The first was vaginal and by far the worst most traumatic birth experience for me. My twins were delivered via emergency csection at 31 weeks. And the whole process was fine. My second Csection was OK too but my last one 2 months ago was not quite as picturesque. My spinal was "high" which meant that they nearly had to intubate. I knew that my blood pressure was dropping because I could hear the machine (too much time spent in teh hospital with one of those twins) but I figured I had gone to confession and there was not much I could do about it. Everything went fine after he pumped me full of epinephirine.
If you had problems the last time, I would suggest talking to your OB right Now. Ask him to look up the file and explain what happened. This will not only ease your anxiety about what really went on but it will also serve as a reminder to him that maybe you should get a different kind of medicine in your spinal.
But after 3 csections and donating my kidney I will take surgery any day over vaginal delivery.
Holly
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Tina P.
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No worries, Molly.  I'm probably oversensitive due to several factors in my life, not the least of which is that now that my husband has opened a window of his heart to life ~ and I don't know how long he will be opened ~ we haven't become expectant. My baby is only 1 and a couple of months. I suppose I should be thankful that He has afforded me this time of higher energy. But I'm rather used to becoming pregnant 9 months after the last baby was born, like clockwork. In fact, the only time there's more than two years between any of them is when I had a miscarriage between the last two.
When I read hsing books or on the FIAR board, sometimes hsers come away looking perfectly sticky sweet. Everything, by what the other hser *tell* us, perfectly ordered in their lives. Some of what you said in your first post and your explanation of that sounded ... well ... too perfect. Not that your situation was perfect, but that you took on the burden of that situation perfectly. And maybe you did! Maybe I am just all too human. I *do* know I have a lot of chiseling to do before I can present myself to God.
God bless you all and thank you for posting on this topic, on all topics near and dear to my heart. It warms me to know that there are other people out there who share my sufferings and my joys.
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
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Dawnie
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MicheleQ wrote:
Elizabeth wrote:
| One thing I think really contributed to my extreme anxiety was my reluctance to give it voice. It wasn't until after Karoline was born that I confided to my dh and my midwife that I thought that either the baby or I would die in childbirth. I knew it was an irrational fear and I didn't want them to think I was silly. Ahhh...pride. I am so glad you are going to discuss your fears with your doctor now. |
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The last week I have been having this same fear - overwhelmingly sometimes. I am so close. . .but getting so scared that it will all end badly...and I have no reason to fear that. Sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament (crying) has been helping but I am still struggling.
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Is Satan just attacking all of us at the same time? Dh and I went to the hospital this morning after I couldn't feel the baby moving...I've never been so scared before. I guess I really freaked dh out when I woke him up this morning crying...he actually called an ambulance. I felt really dumb when we got to the hospital and absolutely nothing was wrong. They said that baby was probably just sleeping. The baby is fine, they did a non-stress test and sent me home.
Even though I've never had a C-section, I am definately familiar w/ the fears surrounding childbirth. All my births and pregnancies have been totally normal and uncomplicated, yet I'm still scared. I hadn't thought that this could be a way that Satan is attacking me. He works best in darkness, doesn't he? Thank you everyone, for giving a voice to your fears.
Dawn
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Visit my blog!Water Into Wine:Vino Per Tutto!
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: Nov 18 2006 at 12:23pm | IP Logged
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I totally understand the feeling of fear just before birth. Every time I realized I was in labor, the first thing I did was sit down and have a cry because I was so scared about all the possibilities of something going wrong over the next few hours.
All of you expectant mothers are in my prayers, and even more so as the time for your births approaches.
Peace,
Nancy
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Elizabeth
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Dawnie wrote:
Is Satan just attacking all of us at the same time? |
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I think that maybe he is...I also think that it's the paradox of a forum like this one. Sometimes, we can hear too many stories...
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Sarah
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Michaela,
I'll pray for you. I'll offer some of this horrid pregnancy nausea for your peace of mind.
The only C/S I had was under General, so I'm not much help.
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Scared - upcoming c-section
