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cathhomeschool
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Texas Bluebonnets
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| Posted: Oct 08 2006 at 9:30am | IP Logged
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I agree with everyone. I would not even consider attending if they don't switch locations. The precious hearts and souls of your dear children must be guarded. If the unthinkable happened, you could never go back and undo it.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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organiclilac
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| Posted: Oct 09 2006 at 11:19am | IP Logged
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I agree with everyone that you should get out, Amy!
Just a note about using the s*x offender registry, though. Just because you have an offender near you is not necessarily a cause for concern. Some crimes which require registering do not indicate any danger to your family. (In some states, public urination, for example. Not good, but not something you should be branded for life for either! A consensual relationship between a 16-year-old girl and 19-year-old boy is another situation that could require the boy to register. Again, not good, but no reason to lock up your children.) The registry isn't always clear what the actual crime was, but I think in most states you can request more information.
Even more important, registries can give a false sense of security. The most dangerous offender is the one who hasn't been caught yet.
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Tracy, wife to Shawn, mama to Samuel (4/01) and Joseph (11/11), and Thomas (2/15)
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amyable
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| Posted: Oct 09 2006 at 11:45am | IP Logged
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Thank you everyone, for your support, and for confirming what I really know in my heart.
I wrote an email to the board of directors (did I mention I'm one of them?  ) and said that if things didn't change in the neighborhood, our family could no longer meet there. If everyone else wanted to stay at that house, we would have to drop out. It's been two days, and I haven't heard back from everyone, I think because the "president" is waiting for the "headmaster" to come back from a vacation today.  I'm having an awfully hard time waiting though!  These people in the co-op are good friends, our only friends really, and I know there will be tension.  
I found out more about the man next door, and he was arrested for abuse to a 3 and 1 year old.  All the more reason for our family to stay away.
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: Oct 10 2006 at 11:08am | IP Logged
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Tracy -
Your point is well taken that some things not really threatening to young children could land someone's name on the registry. I would imagine that the opposite could also be true: that someone could have pleaded guilty to a lesser offense and then be on the registry for that lesser crime and seem more harmless than they really are. Or even without a plea bargain, could have been convicted of a less serious crime because there was not enough evidence to prove the more serious offense, even though that really is what the person did.
Obviously, this whole area is very tricky and I don't like to be prejudiced against a person just because he landed on the wrong side of the law at some point. Still, I would never risk exposing any child to the possibility of an encounter with a s* offender.
Peace,
Nancy
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Sarah
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| Posted: Oct 10 2006 at 3:20pm | IP Logged
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Good to hear that you are taking action, Amy.
Proximity to evil is very serious. I also wouldn't risk it.
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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amyable
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| Posted: Oct 11 2006 at 7:03am | IP Logged
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More information has come through, and now everyone in the co-op has weighed in with their thoughts.
Apparently the man next door is one of the top 20 s*x offenders in the county. There are no laws in our state preventing him from living so close to a school, but the higher ups in his case can recommend that (probation officer?). He is right now living with relatives, so at least as far as I'm concerned, even if his *legal* address were to change, he could come visit these people anytime.
Out of the six families in the co-op, two feel it necessary to not meet at that house. Everyone else is OK with it. Both families who are "abstaining" are on the board of directors, cutting that in half. Plus one family contains our Catechesis of the Good Shepherd catechist, which cuts a huge hole in our co-op program.
Emails are going around among members, but not fast enough for me who is desperate to figure out just what I'll be doing with the rest of my school year. This co-op contained not only almost all of my girls' socialization (all their best friends) but much of my non-core subjects - art, catechesis, health, nature study, etc. Not to mention that the moms were my friends, and now there is tension mounting.
Feeling more than a bit lonely this morning, and coveting your prayers...
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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MarieC
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| Posted: Oct 11 2006 at 7:37am | IP Logged
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Amy,
You most certainly have my prayers.
amyable wrote:
This co-op contained not only almost all of my girls' socialization (all their best friends) Not to mention that the moms were my friends, and now there is tension mounting. |
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This sums up my co-op experience and I know how lost I'd feel w/o it so I feel your sadness. My co-op group meets this a.m. and I'll ask those great ladies to add you to their prayers.
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Marie
mom to 6
dds-98, 00, 02 and 09 & dss-03 and 06
Out in the Orchard
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Marybeth
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| Posted: Oct 11 2006 at 7:41am | IP Logged
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Amy,
I have been thinking about you since you first posted this thread. Have you read any books by Gavin de Becker? He wrote Protecting the Gift...it scared the hell out of me...but it needed to be read. I had a situation in my neighborhood this summer were I helped a 16 year old who was almost abducted. Very frightening! The police told me listening to your instincts is (almost) always full-proof in helping prevent crime.
You are doing your best to protect and cherish your children. God will honor that love and devotion. Maybe the co-op won't work out this year..whose to say?!? All will be well b/c you took care of your family. If there is tension in the co-op remember you are NOT the cause of it..you are trying to be proactive and prevent something awful from occuring. It is always lonely when you bring up topics people are not ready to confront. Be assured of all our prayers. I hope you have peace soon and this situation resolves itself soon before any other child is hurt by this person.
Mb
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Rebecca
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Amy, I am sorry that the co-op is so divided. It must be so hard for you to do what you think is right when not everyone else is on board. I am praying for you today.
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Cici
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| Posted: Oct 11 2006 at 9:07am | IP Logged
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Amy, I'm sorry, too, that this is causing so much division in your coop, and so much hardship for you personally.
I'm praying for you and your daughters today.
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Christine - mom to 
My Sewing Blog
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: Oct 11 2006 at 11:25am | IP Logged
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Amy -
This is very difficult for you and the other families involved, I am sure. I will keep the situation in prayer.
Peace,
Nancy
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Patty LeVasseur
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| Posted: Oct 11 2006 at 12:30pm | IP Logged
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Amy,
We are praying for you, your children, and the rest of your co-op.
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Patty
mom to four blessings
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tracym
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| Posted: Oct 11 2006 at 1:48pm | IP Logged
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Amy,
I also am sorry to read that it is causing tension among your friends. I think you are making the right decision though.
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Tracy M- mom to Allen 12, Laura 9, Joeseph 7, and Anthony 4
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ALmom
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| Posted: Oct 11 2006 at 2:23pm | IP Logged
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Amy, we are praying for you. Would the people be open to moving if another location were found so that the group could stay together? Just a question and I know it would not be easy to find - but we'd pray for a great location for you all .... I'm sorry about the tension. One of the worst feelings is seeing disunity in a Catholic group and it is one of the devil's techniques I'm afraid. I pray that those who chose to stay are protected from harm or move before anything happens and that they are understanding of those who felt they must move. You are not the cause of the division - people can make different choices and remain close if there is charity and respect both ways. We will pray for this for your group.
Janet
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cathhomeschool
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Texas Bluebonnets
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| Posted: Oct 12 2006 at 12:08pm | IP Logged
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Praying for you all here too.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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amyable
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| Posted: Oct 12 2006 at 12:49pm | IP Logged
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ALmom wrote:
| Amy, we are praying for you. Would the people be open to moving if another location were found so that the group could stay together? |
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That's the thing - this group has been looking for a good location for years and we were constantly met with problems. This current location seemed like a "Godsend" as some have put it.
Thank you again, everyone, for the prayers. New information comes out every day, some contridictory, I don't know *what* to do or think anymore...and I feel like I've crossed over into the realm of "I couldn't go back even if they moved." I'm sure that is my pride though - but it would definitely be a completely humbling experience to return. I don't know if I'm up to it. 
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: co-op problems (not for little eyes)
