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Dawnie
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| Posted: Sept 29 2006 at 9:06am | IP Logged
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saintanneshs wrote:
Although I confused the details a bit, my mom's message of saving this kind of love for when you are married made an indelible mark on my soul. Her quiet tears of joy when she explained how this beautiful love brought about a baby...they created a bond between us. I get choked up just reminiscing about it. The world treats the subject so casually, but in all my teenage and college years I knew from my mother's presentation of the topic that this was no casual subject, but one to be treated with reverence...I will never forget that special day and I feel such sadness for girls who tell me that they never shared that experience with their mothers, or that "the talk" was all about the science of reproduction. I kinda' feel like there's plenty of time for the science once you get across the bigger picture of chastity and love within a marriage. It sounds like you've already got that ready to pass on (from your first post)!!
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Wow, Kristine, that is beautiful and exactly the way I want my children to grow up thinking about s*x.
Your post really clarified some things for me...I know that books can often be very helpful in teaching difficult subjects to children, but are they really neccessary, especially when we're teaching our dc about the mystery of s*x? It sounds like your mom did a wonderful job w/ a simple, heart-to-heart, honest talk. I would much rather my dc learn about s*x like that.
My two older dd, ages 7 and 4, have been asking pointed questions lately, I suppose since I am almost 8 months pregnant, like "how did the baby get in your womb, mom?" I've been giving them honest, but purposely vague answers...they are so little, and my heart tells me that they don't need to know all the details of reproduction right now...and if I tell my 7yod, I'm pretty sure she would pass on the info to my 4yod, and my 4yod would probably talk about it w/ everyone! I'm glad to see that many of you wait until the teenage years to give more explicit information about exactly *how* babies are made...I think I'm much more comfortable w/ that approach. My mother told me *everything* when I was 6 or 7 years old by reading a book to me...her intentions were good, but it was embarrassing, and ... well, I don't think it was very good for me to have that information at such a young age.
I'll continue to follow this thread w/ interest...it's so helpful for me to see how faithful Catholic families are dealing with this issue.
Dawn
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Karen E.
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| Posted: Sept 29 2006 at 10:41am | IP Logged
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Dawn,
I think you're quite right to trust your instincts with this. Your kids are so young, and don't need all the mechanical details. When mine were those ages, we focused on the fact that God gave us the baby, and that it is a beautiful and sacred thing. Keep instilling what is precious and sacred, and the physical details can wait.
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Karen E.
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Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
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doris
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| Posted: Sept 29 2006 at 6:03pm | IP Logged
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Oh dear. I think I've already messed things up! My elder dc already know the facts of life, because dd (then aged 5) asked me. i replied along the lines of a 'special cuddle' and also talking about a seed meeting an egg ... but a couple of days later she asked me how the seed got there, so i told her...
On the other hand I don't want my kids to feel that things 'below the waist' are shameful or wrong -- in the right context -- and I hope that later on we can talk more about the real meaning beyond the biology. The background is that I grew up in a family which was both secretive and sexually abusive, so no doubt I'm reacting against that.
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
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MicheleQ
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| Posted: Sept 29 2006 at 6:49pm | IP Logged
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doris wrote:
| Oh dear. I think I've already messed things up! My elder dc already know the facts of life, because dd (then aged 5) asked me. i replied along the lines of a 'special cuddle' and also talking about a seed meeting an egg ... but a couple of days later she asked me how the seed got there, so i told her... |
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You are her mother, the Church clearly teaches that parents themselves are the ones who must make the judgment of what to share with their children and when.
There's no one perfect way to do this. It's individual to the child and the family.
In my opinion one of the most helpful documents for this topic is The Pontifical Council for the Family's The Truth and Meaning of Sexualtiy - Guidelines for Education within the Family. if you haven't read it I highly recommend it. If you have it's worth looking at again.
God bless,
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Michele Quigley
wife to my prince charming and mom of 10 in Lancaster County, PA USA
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Sept 29 2006 at 7:01pm | IP Logged
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doris wrote:
Oh dear. I think I've already messed things up! My elder dc already know the facts of life, because dd (then aged 5) asked me. i replied along the lines of a 'special cuddle' and also talking about a seed meeting an egg ... but a couple of days later she asked me how the seed got there, so i told her...
There is also a lack of mystery in our house about periods, because my children follow me *everywhere*.
On the other hand I don't want my kids to feel that things 'below the waist' are shameful or wrong -- in the right context -- and I hope that later on we can talk more about the real meaning beyond the biology. The background is that I grew up in a family which was both secretive and sexually abusive, so no doubt I'm reacting against that.
Elizabeth |
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I kind of felt the same way about doing it all "wrong" after reading the posts here in the beginnning. But, all our families are different and we do what we feel is best--this took me a day or two to of thinking to be able to come back to this thread to read comments and posts again :) We are all such great parents here, even despite our differences.
I feel more comfortable having exposed ds to some "facts" before the world, TV at a friends or relatives home(we don't watch it at home) gave him "ideas." How I wish I could preserve his innocence, it hurt to read some pages in the book we reviewed a few months ago. I would love to wait for the talk til he was 15, but in reality, it is not the world we live in and I cannot ignore that. I felt I needed to hit him first so he knew the truth and had the moral framework for this issue in his head-not girlfriend/boyfriend but husband and wife, ya know?. I hope that I opened the door so he can come to me with questions if he has them or when he hears things on the street. This is such a hard, hard part of parenting, especially when we have to deal with it when the kids are so young. Other third graders are still so far ahead of him about these issues(I hear the movies they watch) but I am giving the facts so sloooowwwly.
I hope I haven't offended anyone. Oh, and I am never alone in the bathroom either(lol)
Anne
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Karen E.
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| Posted: Sept 29 2006 at 7:16pm | IP Logged
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I'm never alone in the bathroom either, and even my four year old wants to try out her "pad." 
Michele may have said it best -- we are each equipped to handle this with our children, thanks to the sacrament of marriage. We will each handle it a bit differently, maybe even handle it differently for different children within the same family!
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Karen E.
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Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
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Dawnie
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| Posted: Sept 29 2006 at 7:18pm | IP Logged
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Oh, I didn't mean my post to be a criticism of anyone who is doing things differently than I am...Elizabeth, I don't think you need to be worried about doing it "wrong." As Michelle said, this is very individual, and I agree with her. 
Dawn
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Sept 29 2006 at 7:33pm | IP Logged
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It's definately different for each family.. and each child.. I actually vaguely recall my mom trying to have a discussion with me.. not all that young and I just couldn't understand what she was trying to tell me.. like 2 years later all of a sudden I thought "ah ha, THIS is what mom was talking about"
I figured out the secret to getting in the bathroom by myself. I leave the door open. Sounds silly.. but with the door open, everyone goes about their business and leaves me alone.. if I try and shut the door, I'm "hiding" and everyone needs to check in with me make sure I'm not gone etc.
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: "The talk"
